Chapter Fifteen
Tamsen eased her key into the apartment lock, turning over the mechanical device with as much silence as she could. Cora was a notoriously light sleeper, and she didn’t want to disturb her roommate. Okay, she also didn’t want her nosy friend waking up and asking a million questions. She was still basking in the glow of tonight. Or this morning, she supposed, considering it was nearing four a.m.
She eased open the front door, breathing a sigh of relief when she heard nothing from the direction of Cora’s room. The night had been more of a success than she’d hoped. Dream Parker had nothing on Real Parker. The man had skills, but more importantly, he had instinct. He seemed to anticipate what she wanted, changing position and pace to bring her body to places of pleasure it had never been before. She hadn’t had that many orgasms in one night in…ever.
Slipping off her heels, she made her way into the kitchen only to stop short with a screech at a tall, shadowy figure leaning against the kitchen counter. The kitchen light flipped on, and Tamsen’s heart slipped out of her throat where it had jumped to and settled back in her chest.
“Cora! You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing up so late?”
Her roommate’s eyebrows rose high on her forehead. “Technically, it’s early. Very early. So early, in fact, one might question why you are just getting home?”
“I asked you first.” Mature? No, but she needed a moment to think of a response that wouldn’t have Cora pumping her for details she wasn’t sure she wanted to share yet.
Cora waved a hand over the Winnie the Pooh scrubs she had on. “I have a double shift today.”
Right. Hospital shifts were as hectic as restaurant shifts. More so because the hospital never closed. Tamsen admired her friend so much, working every day with such fragile lives. Whenever Cora lost a patient, it hit her so hard. Tamsen wondered if Parker felt the same sense of grief and guilt whenever he lost someone in a fire. She bet he did. Every frontline worker had such heavy responsibilities on their shoulders. She had no idea how they managed. All she did was serve food and make pretty things for people to look at.
That wasn’t true. Cora had told her time and time again that Tamsen’s work was important. The world needed the arts to reflect and escape into when life got hard. Plus, she started a Caring Crochet group that met once a month to make hats, socks, and blankets for the hospitals and homeless shelters in the metro area. It wasn’t saving lives, but it was something she could do to help.
“Did you make any coffee?” She should be going to bed, but Tamsen was too wired to sleep. With fresh memories of Parker’s amazing body in her mind, her sketchpad was calling her name. She wanted to get down as many of his sharp lines and toned muscles as possible. They made such an interesting contrast to his warm smile and the softness in his eyes.
“I did.” Cora raised her cup, taking a sip and moving to stand in front of the coffeemaker. “And you can have a cup as soon as you tell me what had you staying so late at the gallery.”
“I was working.”
“On what?”
“A piece for my project.”
Cora eyed her over the mug. “With who?”
“Don’t you mean whom?”
“Don’t grammar police me. Spill.”
“There’s nothing to spill.” She already did that. Spilled the paint all over Parker’s delicious naked flesh.
“Taaammmmssseeennnn.”
How did her friend do that? Drag out her name so it took seven syllables instead of two?
Knowing Cora wouldn’t give up and really needing a cup of the delicious-smelling coffee, she broke. “Okay, fine. I was with Parker, okay? We made a bet at trivia night, and since his team lost, I got to paint him.”
And oh boy, had she painted him.
Cora smiled as if she knew the answer all along.
“So being out all night was because you got some.”
“I did not get some.” She got it all and then some.
Cora snorted. “Don’t lie to me, hun. You have sex hair.”
Her hands flew up to her frizzy mane. After the shower, she’d towel dried her hair, and since she didn’t have any of her products to tame the half curly half straight nightmare that was her ridiculous hair, it air dried into something that resembled the bedhead of a toddler after a long nap.
Busted.
“What time do you have to leave for work?”
“Fifteen minutes. So start talking.”
She held out her hand. “Coffee first.”
Cora moved about the kitchen, grabbing an extra mug and filling it with the freshly brewed coffee. Normally, Tamsen added a little cream and sugar, but she needed the full-octane stuff for this conversation.
She sat at the table where Cora joined her, passing over the mug. Tamsen took a moment to wrap her hands around the warm cup, inhale the rich scent of heavenly coffee. After the first sip went down, she finally felt ready to reveal.
“Parker and I did a Passion Painting.”
Cora’s head tilted in confusion before light dawned in her eyes. Her mouth dropped open, and she leaned forward in her seat. “Wait, you mean that article thing you showed me? The one where people paint their bodies and…”
“Have sex.” She nodded. “Yes.”
“Wow.” Cora sat back. “How’s the painting look?”
“That’s really what you want to know? How the painting looks?”
Her roommate shrugged. “Is it a single imprint of two bodies barely moving or a wild swatch of colors mixing with each other in indistinguishable shapes and smears of human appendages?”
She lifted the mug to her lips and mumbled into it before taking a sip, “The second one.”
“Yes!” Cora pumped a fist in the air. “I knew he’d be good in bed. You can see it in their eyes. How much they focus. The eyes always give it away.”
“Technically we weren’t in a bed, but yes, Parker is…amazing.”
“Amazing, huh?” Cora smiled as she took a sip of her coffee.
“More than amazing.” How did she describe what happened last night? The energy, the intensity, the raw emotion of it all? “We connected on a level I didn’t even know existed. The man found erogenous zones I didn’t even know I had.”
“Wow. So when are you seeing him again?”
“Whenever the mood strikes us.”
Cora frowned. “Wait, what? I thought you two connected?”
“We did.” She ran her finger around the rim of her mug. “Sexually. We both agreed we weren’t looking for any kind of relationship. This is just fun. No strings, no promises, no problems. Just scratching the itch until it’s out of our system.”
Cora rolled her eyes with a delicate snort. “Famous last words.”
“Beg pardon?”
“There’s no such thing as no problems when it comes to sex. Sex always causes problems. That’s why it’s so fun.”
“Problems are fun?”
“No, but solving them can be.” Cora reached over to place her hand on Tamsen’s. “Look, the problems aren’t always big. Sometimes it’s as simple as finding out you aren’t right for someone or discovering you don’t like a certain kink. But sometimes, big problems happen. Like one person falling in love and the other…not.”
She laughed at the absurdity of what her friend was suggesting. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to worry about that. I have zero time to add love to my schedule right now. Besides, you know I don’t want to fall in love.”
“No.” Cora raised a brow. “You don’t want to risk losing the person you love.”
She snorted into her coffee, ignoring her friend’s intense eye contact.
“Tam,” Cora sighed. “You know I love you, but in all the years I’ve known you, you have never gotten serious about a guy, and I get it, losing your mom so young…it had to be tough.”
Not really. She barely remembered her mother. What sucked was growing up watching her dad. She knew how much he missed her mom. He tried to hide it from her, but she saw the pain. She felt it radiate off him. Waves of pain she feared might drown him. Thank goodness he finally found Victoria to pull him from the depths.
But what if he hadn’t?
That’s what she feared. Losing herself so much in someone, loving someone so deeply that their loss destroyed her, threatened to end her, too. She would never fall that deeply.
“I don’t plan on falling in love with Parker.”
“And what if he falls in love with you?”
Now there was a situation that would happen after people landed on Mars. He’d already told her what he thought of love and happily ever after. She highly doubted Parker would ever fall in love, least of all with her.
“Not an issue, trust me. Besides, we can’t start any type of real relationship.”
“Why not?”
“Hello? Our parents are getting married.” There was an entire boatload of reasons a real relationship with Parker would be a bad idea due to that, but the biggest was, “If we start dating and things go badly, can you imagine the awkward family dinners? No, thank you. Not to mention it could seriously affect my dad’s relationship with Victoria.”
And she would never do anything to jeopardize her father’s happiness. Not after all he did for her.
“And what you’re doing with Parker now isn’t the same thing because…?”
“It’s just sex.”
Cora gave her a disbelieving look. “Things can go badly with sex.”
“But there’s no emotions involved. If we were dating, there’d be feelings, but with sex only, it’s just fun.”
Cora shook her head with a small laugh. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.”
“Hey!”
“Sex doesn’t always lead to feelings,” her roommate continued. “But it always has the possibility to. And if one of you develops feelings while the other doesn’t…all I’m saying is be careful. Have your fun, but keep your wits about you. And at the first sign of something deeper, for either of you, if it’s not what you want, cut it off. Right away. For everyone’s sake.”
Somebody sure was a cautious Cora today.
“Sweetie, I love you, but I promise I know what I’m doing. Everything will be fine.”
She’d just ignore the slight nosedive her stomach took as she spoke those words and the tiny sense of doom that filled her. Everything would be fine. They were just having fun. Tamsen had had a few flings, and they all ended well. Sure, things with Parker felt…more. He made her feel comfortable; even at her most accident-prone and embarrassed moments, he managed to set her at ease, as if those things weren’t a failing, but an asset. And yes, maybe he made her heart flutter. A little. But it was only because she wasn’t used to people finding her disasters delightful.
Nothing more.
Cora finished her coffee and headed off to work while Tamsen made her way to her bedroom. She grabbed her sketchpad and charcoal pencil from the small desk by the window and tossed them on the bed. She grabbed her PJs, untying her dress and dropping it to the floor. That’s when she remembered she hadn’t put her underwear back on. Bra, yes, but her panties had gone missing. Well, not so much missing as she had tucked them into Parker’s back pocket while he was still drying off from their shower.
She giggled as she thought of him discovering them later today. What would he do with them? Yes, it had been a bit naughty of her, but the man made her do things she never imagined she ever would. She’d had sex beyond the bedroom before, but no one made her step out of her comfort zone like Parker. A parked car her senior year after the prom was as risky as she’d ever gotten.
Once she had her soft, cotton sleep shorts and tank on, she settled in the middle of her bed with her sketchpad and pencil. An hour later, dozens of papers surrounded her on the bed, each one filled with bits and pieces of Parker. His warm eyes, powerful forearms, the thick muscles of his upper thigh, the sexy curl of his smile, that yummy V shape where his hip met his groin. All the imagery made heat coil low in her belly. She should be full up on orgasms considering how many she’d had last night, but apparently all it took was simply remembering Parker, and drawing him, to make her crave another.
Her fingers cramped. Setting down her pencil, she stretched them, doing the hand exercises she’d learned from Jade’s last boyfriend who happened to be a physical therapist. Just as she was about to call it and catch a few hours of sleep, her phone chimed. She checked the text and smiled. Speak of the devil.
She typed back.
Oh, course she had. The problem with having close friends was that there were no secrets.
She glanced at the time on her phone.
Tamsen laughed, her thumbs flying across the screen as she typed.
Instead of words, she sent Jade two rows of the fire emoji.
She laughed when Jade sent back a gif of a dancing cat with exploding champagne behind it.
Biting her lip, she debated how much to reveal, but if Cora already texted her, there was no telling what Jade knew. Everything, probably.
So Jade wasn’t going to give her the “be careful with your heart” speech like Cora. At least, not yet. She knew Jade was just waiting for the right moment to get into the talky feely portion of the discussion. Cora was always direct whereas Jade liked to bide her time and pounce when the timing was perfect. She knew her friends were just looking out for her, but she had this. They didn’t have to worry.
Which was good because she’d need a few hours of sleep to account for the lack of sleep last night. Totally worth it.
She placed her phone in the charger base on her nightstand and put all the loose paper and sketchpad on the floor to deal with later. She slipped under the covers and settled her head against the pillow with a sigh. Sweet slumber, here she came.
Ding. Ding.
Or not.
Slapping her hand against her phone, she pulled it from the cradle and went to turn it on silent, until she saw the message.
Grinning to herself, she typed back.
She sent the kissing wink face emoji.
She could say the same about him.
He was already ready for another round?
She usually walked home if it was early enough or drove if she had the night shift. But the idea of Parker picking her up and taking her back here where she had a nice, soft bed…if she wasn’t as exhausted as she was, she might consider asking him to drive over here right now. When had a man ever made her crave this much? She couldn’t remember.
She barked out a half laugh, half needy moan into the silent bedroom.
She replaced her phone in the base, rolling over to snuggle down deep into her bed, a large smile curling her lips as she closed her eyes. She knew Cora and Jade might argue that she was moving too fast with Parker, but this was just sex. Just fun.
But as she drifted off to sleep, a voice inside warned her she was getting in over her head. That her friends were right and fun would lead to feelings and falling. And everyone knew when you fell, things could break.
She’d just have to be sure if that happened, the thing that broke wouldn’t be her heart.