Chapter Twenty-Four

“Tamsen,” Cora called out from beyond the bedroom door. “Someone is here to see you.”

Tamsen put down her brush. She shouldn’t be painting right now anyway. The only thing she’d been creating the past week were dark and painful. She bled out on the canvas, and it wasn’t pretty. Some people might like that art is pain type stuff, but she liked being uplifting with her art, challenging.

The red canvas in front of her slashed with black jagged lines of a woman weeping had been cathartic to get out, but staring at it now…it just made her sad. Not her usual brand. But she hadn’t felt like herself since that awful fight with Parker.

After her initial reaction to her discovery, she’d begun to understand he was only trying to protect his mother. She’d do anything to protect her father. Including not revealing what a jackass his future stepson was. She could forgive all that. What she couldn’t get past was his lies to her. Everyone had shit from their childhood to get over. But who lived their life so distrustful of other people?

She thought they’d had something together. Sure, it started out all fun and no promises, but it changed. They cared for each other. Or, at least, she thought they had. Maybe she’d been fooling herself. Maybe Parker had said he cared because she did and he didn’t want to make it awkward. What the hell did she know? Nothing when it came to that man, it seemed.

She should have stuck to her rule of light and fun. This loss thing sucked. Sure, Parker hadn’t died on her, but the hole in her heart was still there. His absence from her life was an ache even if he was still walking around. The pain of knowing they could have had a shot if he’d learn to let go and trust…

She picked up her brush and stabbed another sharp red slash across the chest of the weeping woman before throwing it back down in disgust.

Ugh, she really needed to stop thinking about it. And him.

“Hey, pumpkin.”

She swiveled on her stool at the childhood nickname. “Dad? What are you doing here?”

A teeny tiny part of her had been hoping her visitor was Parker, coming to apologize and beg her for another chance. But it had been over a week since she stormed out of his condo. Every day that tiny hope got smaller and smaller.

“I came to talk to you about Parker.”

At the mention of the man who wouldn’t leave her mind after breaking her heart, she made a low sound deep in her throat.

“And that’s my cue. Bye, Mr. Hayes.” Cora turned from the open doorway and started down the hall, tossing over her shoulder as she left, “My offer still stands to punch him in the nuts, Tam. Just say the word.”

Her awesome friend had been making the tempting offer all week, ever since she pulled the whole story out of Tamsen after a night of crying and margaritas. As mad as she was at Parker, she didn’t want him hurt. She just wished he could see that people actually cared. They could be trusted. Not everyone was playing an angle.

“Oh my.” Her father made his way into her bedroom, gaze focused on the canvas behind her. “That’s a bit…darker than your usual work.”

She felt surrounded in darkness lately. Heartbreak sucked. Screw everyone who said it made for masterpieces. The piece behind her might be full of emotion, but every time she looked at it, all she felt was despair. Art was supposed to be uplifting, healing.

Grabbing the drop cloth by her feet, she tossed it over the canvas. It would smear the still-wet paint, but she didn’t care. She’d poured out her sorrow, and she didn’t intend to keep the thing around to be reminded. This piece was going straight in the trash the second her dad left.

“Does this new direction in your artwork have anything to do with Parker?”

She tried to relax her clenched jaw. “Why would it?”

Her father gave her a look that said she was full of bull.

“Oh, maybe because every time I’ve mentioned his name recently, you tense up. Get kind of growly.”

“I do not growl!”

“You do, pumpkin. Just a little.” He stepped closer, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Or it could be because you had a major fight that ended with you two not speaking to each other anymore?”

Tamsen started, nearly falling off her stool. She glanced up at her father with shock.

“You know? How do you know? What do you know? Oh God, does Victoria know?” She grabbed her father’s hand in hers. “Did you two have a fight about it? Is everything okay? Is the wedding off? Crap, I was afraid of this! You don’t need to worry. It was a ridiculous fight about…well, never mind what it was about. It’s over now anyway. You don’t have to pick sides. I’m fine, Parker’s fine, we might not be…friends anymore, but we can be adults about this and—”

“Tamsen.” Her father pulled her up into a fierce hug. “It’s okay. Vikki and I aren’t in an argument. There’s no side picking. The wedding is still on. And I can answer all your questions if you’ll just sit there and listen. I promise everything is okay.”

She didn’t see how that was possible, but since she wanted answers, she sat back on her stool and told her mouth now was not the time to ramble.

“Parker came to see me yesterday.”

She leaned forward on her seat. “He did? Why? What did he say?”

At her father’s amused look, she sat back, miming zipping her lips closed.

“He made a confession.”

She sucked in a sharp breath.

“Vikki had him over the day before for a talk. It seems her mother’s intuition was correct.”

“Correct about what?”

He grabbed the stool on the other side of her easel. Lifting the small wooden articulated drawing figure off, he set it on the floor and brought the stool around to her side. Oh boy, if he was sitting, this was about to be one of those conversations. The ones where he told her something she didn’t want to hear and she learned some lesson like on those late 1990s TV shows the studios kept making reboots of.

“Vikki suspected there was something more between you and Parker than being friendly.”

Oh, they were friendly all right. Extremely friendly for a while there. And now…they weren’t.

“I thought she was seeing everyone with rose-colored glasses. Kind of how when you’re in love, you think everyone else is, too, but she insisted she saw the signs.”

Avoiding eye contact, she picked at the dried paint on her hands. “Signs of what?”

“Of a relationship. Between you and Parker.”

A heavy sigh filled her chest. The cat was out of the bag. No sense in hiding it anymore. Though having a conversation with her dad about stuff like this was the last thing she wanted to do. She was already mired in anger and misery. Why not let embarrassment and discomfort join in? It was an emotional party no one wanted to be invited to, yet here she was.

“Yes.” She finally glanced up to look her dad in the eye. “Parker and I were in a relationship, but we’re not anymore, and don’t worry. I won’t let it affect you and Victoria. I will be completely civil at the wedding.”

And at Thanksgiving, the holidays, birthdays…oh hell. How was she going to face Parker when even thinking about the man caused her eyes to well and her chest to seize? She didn’t do well at hiding emotions. But she’d have to learn. For her dad’s sake.

“Oh, pumpkin. I’m not worried about Vikki and me. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” she lied.

“Tamsen.”

“I am.” She would be. Someday. Hopefully soon. “It wasn’t even serious anyway, Dad. We were just…having fun.”

Probably something she shouldn’t admit to her father, but it was better than the alternative: sharing what Parker had done and how he broke her heart.

“So then all this anger and sadness has nothing to do with the end of your relationship and more to do with the PI Parker hired?”

Her head snapped up. How did he know everything? Seriously, did parents have some all-knowing superpower or what?

“How did you know about that?”

“He told me.”

A slight breeze could have knocked her over. She blinked, her mouth dropping open, but her brain was unable to form any words. Parker told him?

“When?” See there, that was a question. Okay, it was a word, but her voice went up at the end, so technically it counted as a question.

“Yesterday. He confessed the entire thing. His worry over his mother, hiring a PI, his feelings for you.”

Feelings, right. All his feelings for her were in his pants. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let her walk out the other day. He would have apologized at some point in the past week. He would have done something, but he hadn’t.

He confessed to his mother and to Dad.

Okay, that was one thing. She supposed.

“Dad, I am so sorry.” Tears blurred her vision, but she blinked them back. “I didn’t know he was doing that until I spotted an email on his computer. I didn’t want you to be hurt—”

“So you didn’t tell me.”

“Yes.”

“Just like Parker didn’t want his mother hurt, so he checked me out.”

“Dad.” Anger started to replace the sorrow. “It’s not the same thing.”

“No, but you were both just looking out for your parents. Both protecting the people you love. I’d say that means your heart and Parker’s were in the right place even if the actions weren’t.”

“But actions matter.” She shook her head. “How can you not be upset by this? He paid someone to dig into your life. He violated your trust.”

Bushy graying eyebrows rose as he stared hard. “My trust…or yours?”

“You’re the victim here!” Why wasn’t he angry? Pissed off? Upset even a little bit?

“That’s a little extreme, don’t you think? No crime has been committed. Should Parker have asked me about my life instead of paying someone to try and dig up a dirty secret I don’t have? Yes. But the boy was only looking out for his mother. She’s told me about some men in her past who weren’t honorable.”

Right. But her father wasn’t like that.

“But how could Parker know that?” Her father’s words made her realize she’d spoken out loud.

“It still wasn’t right.”

“No, it wasn’t. He sees that now, and he acted like an adult, came and told me everything, and apologized.”

Oh goody, her dad got an apology. Guess everything was fine and dandy now. They could all move on and be one big, happy family.

“I’m glad he apologized to you.”

His head tilted. “But he didn’t to you?”

She scoffed, unsure as to why she was burying her feelings from her dad. She never hid anything from him. Not until she’d met Parker, that was. “Why would he need to apologize to me? You’re the one he was investigating.”

“Yes.” Her father nodded. “And you’re the one he was having a relationship with. The one he lied to.”

“He didn’t lie.”

“But he didn’t tell you what he was doing. And that hurt.”

Damn her dad for always being right and knowing her better than anyone. It was that parental psychic mind vibe thingy. He always knew when she was upset growing up and usually what it was about, too, whether it was a school thing, an art thing, or very rarely, a boy thing.

“This was just supposed to be fun,” she whispered softly. “I wasn’t supposed to…care about him.”

Her dad nodded as if he understood. “The people we care for the most have the power to hurt us the most.”

“Well, that sucks.”

“It’s called love, pumpkin, and yes, it can suck, but it can also be wonderful, amazing, terrifying, and the best thing to ever happen to a person.”

Something warm and wet rolled down her cheek, and it took her a minute to realize it was tears. She did love Parker. Somehow, sometime in all their fun, she’d fallen for him. She loved his laugh, his smile, his kindness, the way he never backed down from a challenge. Most of all, she loved that he never made her feel bad about being herself. He never once got frustrated with her rambling or told her her dreams of being a full-time artist were unrealistic. But…

“But he doesn’t love me.”

“How do you know that?”

She sniffled, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “He hasn’t texted or called. Not once since our fight. And it was a bad one, Dad. I was so angry at him, and he acted like he didn’t do anything wrong.”

He’d blamed her for snooping, which, okay she had been looking around, but it wasn’t like she was looking for something to ruin what they had. That was the very last thing she wanted. And maybe that’s what she was truly upset about. Not that Parker investigated her father—which she still thought was a jerk move—but the fact that he didn’t understand why it upset her so much. He didn’t care how hurt she was.

He didn’t trust her.

“People in love often argue, especially when they’re hurt and angry. They’re all very powerful emotions. What makes it real, makes it last, is if afterward you learn something. Grow from your mistakes and commit to being better.”

She supposed that was true and Parker did apologize to her father. But she hadn’t heard a peep from him.

“Well, I’ve learned love sucks. All it does is rip your heart out and make you paint shitty dark emo crap.” She winced. “Sorry about swearing.”

Her dad gave her a gentle smile. “It’s okay, pumpkin. In this case, I’ll excuse it, but don’t let the loss of something you had stop you from accepting things into your life. I lost your mother, and it almost killed me.”

His eyes misted at the mention of her mother. “Dad—”

He held up a hand. “I’m okay. I wasn’t for a long time. I put on a brave face, focused all my attention on raising you, thinking I had my one shot at love and I would never get another. And then I met Vikki. She’s not a replacement for your mom. No one ever could be. But I love her. What we have is different, but no less powerful.”

She didn’t want a new love. She wanted Parker. But it seemed he didn’t want her. If he did, he would have called her the minute he apologized to her father. His silence spoke volumes.

“Just give Parker a little time.”

“Are you reading my mind, Dad?”

He chuckled. “No. But your face is as expressive as your artwork.”

Yeah, she’d been told that a time or twenty.

“He’ll come around.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s easier to admit fault to someone you don’t love.”

She scoffed. “Parker doesn’t love me.”

Loved having sex with her, yes, cared about her…he said he did. But loved her? No. She doubted that very much. The guy had such high emotional walls around his heart, she doubted anyone could scale them.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” He shrugged. “But what do I know? I’m just an old romantic with stars in my eyes.”

She laughed softly. “Lucky Victoria.”

“We’re both lucky.” He winked, rising from his stool. “And speaking of, I better run off now. We have a dinner date tonight.”

She stood and walked into her father’s opened arms. Dad hugs were the best. Some of the misery and pain she’d been carrying all week melted away at his tight embrace.

“And, Tamsen,” he pulled back slightly to stare down at her, “if Parker is too stubborn to see the treasure right in front of him, that’s his loss.”

She snorted. “Thanks, Dad.”

Between her dad and her friends, she was grateful for the people in her corner. She just wished Parker was there, too.

“I have to go. I’ll see you this weekend at the shower, pumpkin.”

Her dad kissed her on the forehead and left.

Crap! The shower. She’d totally forgotten. Not forgotten forgotten, but it slipped her mind that Parker would be there, too. Would he talk to her? Apologize? Ignore her? She honestly wasn’t sure which scenario she most preferred.

Liar.

Okay, so she knew what she wanted.

Him. Just him.

Wasn’t that a punch to the gut? She’d finally done it. Gone against her lifelong promise to herself and fallen in love, even knowing the heartbreak that could potentially follow. And look what happened. The second she did, boom! It fell apart. A week ago, she would have chalked this up to her being right. Love just wasn’t worth the pain. But now…

Her dad was right. She realized, deep in her soul, she wouldn’t trade her time with Parker for anything. He changed her. For the better. And the disastrous end didn’t cancel out all the good they’d shared.

Grabbing a fresh canvas and palette, she shuffled through her paint, picking out the colors that called to her. After an intense few hours of pouring fresh emotion onto canvas, she stood back and admired her new creation. Light blue and purple brushstrokes swirled together on the white canvas, creating an impressionist image of a weeping woman holding a cracked heart in her hands, but this time there was a slight smile on the woman’s face and a bravery in her eyes. Because she knew love wouldn’t destroy her. The pain was still clear in the colors and lines, but there was also hope and growth radiating off the image.

A soft breath of astonishment left her lips as she glanced at her work. So, this was what people meant when they said pain caused great art. This might be her best piece ever. And yet the one person she wanted to share it with…

A sharp pain dimmed her mood as her mind was once again consumed with thoughts of Parker.

He admitted what he had done to their parents. Apologized to her father. He seemed to be righting his wrongs and yet…he still hadn’t spoken to her. She might as well admit it. Parker Kincaid didn’t love her. She’d fallen in love with a man who couldn’t love her back.