Chapter 14

 

My department head looked at me apprehensively. “I overheard what you said to Noah in the theatre.”

“Then you know why I have to call Detective Manuello right away.” I continued punching numbers into the phone.

He took the phone from me and hung it up. “Please, think about what you are doing.”

“I have thought about it, and I finally figured out the identity of murderer. It was there all the time right in front of me, Martin, but I was too preoccupied to see it.” I reached for the phone again.

He grabbed my arm. “Listen to me. If you tell Detective Manuello your theory, and you are wrong, you could make a strong enemy of one of your colleagues, and cause embarrassment to the depart—”

“It all makes sense now. Every piece of this insane puzzle has finally come together in my head. The murderer is—”

He covered his ears. “Don’t tell me!”

“You actually don’t want to know something about the department?”

After resting a hand on my shoulder, Martin said, “You know I will support you and Noah in anything. But I don’t want to be a party to having one of my colleagues arrested for murder on a whim.”

“Even if one of your colleagues is a murderer?”

“I don’t want to see you and Noah hurt.”

“You were the one who asked us to investigate. I have to do this!”

Martin walked to the door. “Do what you have to do. But be safe.”

After Martin left, I pressed the buttons on my office phone rapidly.

Ariella opened the office door. “I’ve been looking everywhere. I’m glad I found you.”

Getting Manuello’s voice mail, I hung up the phone, and asked Ariella, “Where’s Manuello?”

She raised her dark eyes to her black bangs. “There was some trouble downtown with a bunch of teenagers at the mall. Jose…Detective Manuello is coming here when he’s finished.”

“Ariella, the minute Manuello gets here, tell him that I need to talk to him. Will you do that for me? Please?”

After patting my arm, Ariella said, “No worries.”

I sucked in as much air as I could get inside my lungs. “Thanks.”

Ariella smiled. “Great show, Nicky. Were you happy with the costumes?”

“They were perfect,” I said as I checked my watch.

At my office doorway, she added, “My brownies were a hit, too. Every one of them is gone.”

Alone again in my office, I remembered Paul’s comment that Detective Dickerson was on duty nearby. As I lifted the phone to call Dickerson, I heard the door open, and Tyler walked in—pointing a gun at my face.

“Put down the phone, Nicky, and sit down.”

With my heart pounding in my ears, I hung up the phone and sat in my desk chair. Tyler took the seat next to me, continuing to aim the gun at my forehead.

“I heard what you said in the theatre. What gave me away?” Tyler asked with a creepier than usual look on his unshaven face.

I’ll take, ‘Stalling for Time Until Ariella Gets Back with Manuello’ for…my life. “You really want to know?”

Tyler waved the gun near my nose. “I must.”

I nodded obediently. “When you raised your arms to give me a high-five before the show started, I read your tattoo: ‘Nahum 1:2.’ That’s the line from the Bible that Paul’s character quotes at the end of the show.”

He recited it like a sacred pledge of honor. “‘The Lord is vengeful and strong in wrath.’ I showed that five times so far. Well, actually six. And people say there’s no proof that God exists.” He continued, looking pleased with himself. “That’s how I got this gun. Detective Dickerson was at the stage door with flowers for Paul after the show. I took the flowers and promised to deliver them to Paul, which I did. But first I hit Dickerson over the head with a Fresnel and took his gun. The Lord will help me take care of Paul, Ricky, Jan, and Kayla after the play closes.” He poked me in the shoulder with the barrel of the gun. “We don’t want anything to ruin our great show, do we? There’s plenty of time for me to eighty-six the young porn stars.”

I calculated how quickly it would take me to reach my office phone.

Tyler noticed. “There’s no point trying to call anyone, Nicky.” He looked at his watch. “It’s been about nine hours since you ate that brownie. Rat poison takes five to twelve hours to cause enough internal bleeding to kill human beings. So you should be begging and pleading in vain at your judgment any time now.”

“You poisoned Ariella’s brownies after she left them in the Scene Shop?”

Tyler raised his hand. “I cannot tell a lie.” He smiled proudly. “One giant-sized brownie for Scotty, one for Jackson, one for Noah, and one for you. Leviticus 18:22. Check.” He made an invisible check mark in the air with his index finger.

Noah! I called Noah and told him to eat a brownie! “Tyler, how can you be so vicious?”

“I’m not vicious. As I said at your house before the production meeting, I’m really saddened and fearful for each one of you. Just imagine how awful it will be for you to face every sin you’ve committed while burning in the fires of Hell.”

I glared at him in a rage. “What about the sins that you’ve committed, Tyler…including murder?”

Tyler looked offended. “It wasn’t me who punished those people, Nicky. It was the Lord. I am simply His instrument, Nicky.” He added pompously, “After Martin gives me David’s position, our oh-so gay department head will be next. Then Martin can wave his colored napkins in Hell!”

Rising in anger, I said, “Whatever happened to not judging others?”

Using the gun to wave me back into my seat, Tyler responded cockily, “I am a soldier of God. His word in the Bible says that what you are is a sin.” He waved the cross dangling from his neck. “I didn’t write the book, Nicky. I just follow it.”

Sitting back in my chair, I said, “The books in the Bible were written in the First Century. Do you also advocate slavery, and stoning people to death for eating shellfish and wearing clothing made of more than one fabric?”

Tyler answered like the teacher’s pet at a Young Nazis’ convention. “It’s all in the story of Sodom.”

“Which is about lust, greed, and hate.” I added as if facing a glowing pile of straw at the Salem Witch trials, “You ought to know about hate!”

Leaping behind me, Tyler wrapped his arm under my neck, yanked me from my office chair, and held the gun to my temple. “I told you that I don’t hate anybody, Nicky! You are the one discriminating against me and my religious beliefs by telling me that I can’t follow God’s word. You are persecuting me!”

“By trying to stop you from murdering all of us?”

After pushing me back into my chair, Tyler said maniacally, “Thanks to the brownies, His will shall be done.”

As I looked around the room for a possible weapon, I asked, “Is that what you teach the students in the Christian Fellowship Club?”

Tyler sighed in disgust. “Those kids are delusional.” He added in a mock falsetto voice, “Red letter liberal Christians.” He groaned. “They only believe what Jesus is quoted to say in the Bible, written in red. How ridiculous is that?”

“As I remember from Sunday school back in Kansas, the sermons and parables, written centuries after Jesus’ death by the way, are about love and serving others.”

He shouted angrily, “But the rest of the Bible gives the full picture of God’s anger and retribution against those who sin against Him: floods, locusts, hurricanes, wars, and death to the unbelievers and unrighteous!”

Why don’t I feel nauseous, weak, or in pain? I ate my brownie before Noah must have eaten his. “Then why doesn’t God tell us that?”

Tyler’s face grew cold and threatening. “God doesn’t need to prove himself.”

I have to keep Tyler talking until Manuello finds me, to save Noah, and to save myself. “But you would. To Him. Why did you kill the others?”

Tyler sat back down in his chair. Using the muzzle of the gun to count on his fingers, he said arrogantly, “Let’s see, after our first tech dress rehearsal for the show, I dodged Scotty so he had to bring the real knife to David for polishing, thereby setting up anyone who talked to David in his office that night as David’s possible murderer. But I stabbed David in his office since he had committed the sins of stealing, blackmailing, and adultery. God’s will be done.” Tyler moved on to his next finger. “I used rat poison from the Scene Shop to poison Wally’s morning coffee in the department conference room, since Wally committed the sins of stealing and blackmailing.” The gun grazed Tyler’s third finger. “After you and Noah left Millie’s house, I visited her pretending to have a message from David, and pushed her off her balcony for committing the sins of having sex out of wedlock and getting an abortion.” Readying his last two fingers, Tyler said haughtily, “I put rat poison in Loptu’s tea as retribution for her part in David’s adultery, and I strangled Faith O’Riley with some discarded rope from the Scene Shop since she had sex out of wedlock and produced pornography.” He added in irritation, “David’s creepy kid, Kyle, had just left her, so God told me to save knocking off the big porn director for another day.”

Where the hell is Manuello? “Though I don’t read Hebrew or Greek, I don’t remember reading about abortion, producing pornography, or same-sex marriage in the Bible.”

Obviously agitated, Tyler rose and came face to face with me. “I know what you are doing. You’re trying to stall until that moron detective finds us.” Tyler went to the window and looked outside. “No such luck, Nicky. Any minute now, you and your sodomite lover will be Satan’s toast due to your unnatural behavior.”

I’d had enough of Tyler’s obvious insanity. “And waving around a gun is natural?”

“It was Adam and Eve, Nicky, not Adam and Steve!”

“Well now it’s Nicky and Noah.” With Tyler looking out the window, I seized my opportunity and dove on top of him, sending the gun flying to the other side of the office. Tyler and I rolled on the floor, each of us landing a punch with each spin. Though short, the many hours Tyler worked in the Scene Shop paid off for him. My hours in the gym, and my quest to protect Noah, paid off more. Kneeling next to him, I had Tyler in a headlock and was about to deliver the final blow, when Tyler elbowed me in the groin (an obviously large target). I fell backward with a yelp.

Tyler straddled my hips and used one of his hands to grasp my wrists to the floor behind me, and the other hand to squeeze my throat closed. His hands were thick, rough, and strong. As I tried unsuccessfully to loosen his grasp, I saw my life pass before my eyes. When Noah entered my replayed life, my gorgeous partner walked through my office door.

Not sure if I was dreaming or awake, I watched Noah bend down, pick up the gun, and point it at Tyler. “Get off my boyfriend or, as in biblical days, I will make you a eunuch!”

I blacked out.

 

* * *

 

A white light shone from the distance. Should I walk toward the light to receive my reward? What if it’s not a reward? Maybe I should just stay put for a bit.

“Nicky, Nicky wake up.”

Noah? Is that you? Are we in brownie gay heaven together?

I opened my eyes and squinted at the ceiling light over me. I felt a squeeze on my hand and turned my head to see Noah’s beautiful face. I am definitely in heaven.

I squeezed his hand back, and said hoarsely, “I think this is when I’m supposed to say, ‘I love you,’”

Tears flowed down his smooth cheeks. “I love you too.”

After an unsuccessful attempt at sitting up, I rested my head on the pillow. “Where am I?”

Not letting go of my hand, Noah answered gently, “You’re in the hospital. We’ve been here since last night. You’ve got some bruises and a light concussion, but the doctor on duty said you’ll be fine.”

Everything came back to me like a movie playing in my head on fast forward. “Thank you for coming after me last night, Noah.”

He smiled tenderly. “Always, Nicky.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He kissed my cheek.

“But I told you to eat one of Ariella’s brownies. Tyler poisoned them.”

Noah shook his head and his gorgeous blond curls bounced freely. “When I got to the theatre I asked Ariella if they had nuts in them.”

“There weren’t any nuts in them, Noah. That’s why I told you to eat one.”

“Ariella explained that she used almond extract, so I didn’t take one.”

“Good move not listening to me.” I kissed his hand and my throat ached from the tussle with Tyler. “But I ate a brownie. How come it didn’t kill me?”

Noah fluffed my pillow and smiled dotingly. “The doctor said the vitamin K you take every day blocks the effects of warfarin and coumatetralyl.”

“I knew those vitamins would save me one day.”

“And they did, Nicky!”

I remembered my colleagues who also ate the brownies. “What about Scotty and Jackson?”

“We’re over here!”

Noah parted the white curtain next to my bed, revealing Scotty and Jackson lying in the beds nearby, attached to a vitamin K drip.

“It’s about time you asked about us, Nicky,” Jackson said with mock disapproval.

“How are you two?” I asked straining my neck to see them.

“Having your stomach pumped isn’t as bad as it sounds. The technician was built like Atlas. I’d have let him stick a hose anywhere inside me.”

Jackson hit Scotty playfully. Then they looked at one another amorously and held hands.

I whispered in Noah’s ear, “Are Jackson and Scotty an item now?”

“Seems so,” Noah whispered back. “They had a long talk this morning, which I accidentally overheard. They shared one another’s pasts and vowed to share their presents…and futures.”

Remembering Tyler’s latest escapade, I asked Noah, “How is Detective Dickerson?”

Noah motioned to the right. “He’s in the next room. The doctor said he has a concussion but he will be fine. Paul hasn’t left his bedside since last night.”

Last and definitely least, I asked, “Where’s Tyler?”

As if on cue, Detective Manuello entered, followed by Ariella. Manuello nodded to each of us then said with a contented grin on his face, “I am sure you will all be happy to know that Mr. Thompson is being held in prison on five counts of murder and four counts of attempted murder. I don’t think he is going anywhere for a very long time.”

Ariella added with a flip of her long, dark hair and a twinkle in her dark eyes, “Which is no doubt good news to Tyler’s gigantic Muslim cell mate.”

“Really?” responded Scotty. “Maybe I should commit a crime.”

Jackson said, “Detective, the nurse should be bringing lunch soon. Is there any of that rat poison left?”

After Jackson and Scotty shared an adoring laugh, Detective Manuello scratched each of his stomach rolls, and said officiously, “Professor Abbondanza, you will also be happy to know that P.J. Myers has been released from his lawyer’s house arrest.”

Hopefully he will go to his classes, and we’ll all be back soon to teach ours!

“There’s just one loose thread that we haven’t been able to solve.” Manuello and Ariella sat on the two chairs facing my bed, and Manuello continued. “During the investigation, we received a number of tips asking us to talk to an actor named Butch Whopper and a writer by the name of Reggie McCallister.” He rubbed his wide nose. “Funny, we haven’t been able to find them.”

Noah said, “They are probably right under your nose, detective.”

“That’s what I’m thinking,” responded Manuello with a smile.

Scotty and Jackson shared a quick kiss. Detective Manuello and Ariella followed their lead, leaving Noah and me the only two people in the room not kissing.

Feeling the pain in my cheeks, I asked, “Noah, can you hold up that hand mirror, so I can see my face?”

“You sure you want me to do that, Nicky?”

I nodded. Noah took the hand mirror from the night table and placed it in front of my face.

Examining my black and blue cheeks and neck, I said, “I’ve looked worse when I didn’t sleep and take my vitamins.”

“Thank goodness you took them yesterday.”

“Amen.”

Noah and I shared a gentle but very romantic kiss.