I hit the revolving door at a full run, my palms striking the glass hard enough that the receptionist lets out a chirp of surprise behind me. The door spins and I burst out onto the street. I sprint the four blocks back to the truck. I can see Lauren through the back window and I curse softly to myself. When I throw the door open, she looks at me.
“What’s wrong?”
I ignore her, focusing on getting the key in and starting the engine. The tires squeal as I pull away from the curb and race down Orange. Within a minute I am on the interstate, my eyes darting from the road to the rearview mirror.
“What happened?”
“We need to get out of here,” I say.
“Why?”
“The police,” I answer.
She pauses, then lets out a scoff. “He won’t let that happen.”
I shake my head. I consider upending her ignorance, but I can’t.
“He’s the one making it happen,” I say.
As I barrel down the highway, I try to think. Maybe I should take her to the cabin now. But I can’t risk the police finding that place and what is under the tarp. Not yet.
I have options. I can amend the plan. But that thought feels painful. Life has played out like a decades-long chess match. After so many years, any attempt at a checkmate has to be perfect. And it isn’t. Not any longer.
I scratch at my arm, hard. I have to stop. Nothing has changed. In a game of chess, there is always the countermove. I can’t even say this is unexpected. Because I’m not sure I am being honest with myself. Did I go to the event to bide time? To convince Drew that I was just as stupid as he thought? Or did I go for another reason? To taunt him. Push him off-balance.
Sometimes, the only way to truly win is to get in your opponent’s head. Drew knows this better than anyone. Except, maybe, me.
“I heard some stuff,” Lauren says, and her voice grates on me before I can even comprehend the words. “That you’ve hurt people pretty bad, people who wanted to hurt Drew. We’ve all heard it. People are scared of you.” She laughs nervously.
“I—”
I see the flashing light up ahead. It takes me a second to realize the cruiser is across the median, heading north, not south. It races past, the siren rattling the window.
My phone goes off. I pull it out and read the message from Drew’s burner phone. The only one I’m supposed to contact him on.
Give it up bro.
Lauren leans in and reads the text before I can turn the phone away.
“What does that mean . . . ? What are you doing?”
“He’s just pissed at me.”
“Seriously! Seriously?” She pauses, looking at me. “Oh, shit, you’re not screwing this up, are you?”
I don’t say anything right away. I can sense her agitation. I glance over at her and see her shoulders tightly hunched. And I see her for the first time as a human being. Not a piece in this endless game. I had thought I would tape her up once again. Bind her ankles and wrists. Gag her with duct tape. Carry her over my shoulder if I had to. Anything to keep her from ruining the plan.
Now I see a young woman with quick eyes and a practiced tongue. Along with the privilege evident in her straight back and expensive clothes, I see the tense muscles of her neck and the nervous thinness of her lips. I have the power. I can call the shots. But her humanity might as well be a mirror. In it, I see myself. And I see my brother. Two sides to the same story, one that she could never understand.
I’m about to tell her the truth, the part she doesn’t know. Not all of it. Just hers. But I stop myself. I rage against her humanity. She is nothing to me. Just a pawn in the bigger game. So I stay quiet, for now.