The past shrinks in around me. Every breath feels like glass in my throat. I close my eyes and try to see his face. I try to remember. But instead of the void, I see his bulging eyes. The rictus of his mouth.
“You needed me to clean up your mess. Like you always do. I’ve protected you forever. Can you imagine what would have happened to you if they found out what you did? And no matter what I do for you, you betray me. Over and over again, you betray me. You . . . really? You’re still doing that?”
At first, I don’t know what he’s talking about. Then I feel the burn on my arm. I stop scratching at the tattoo, the Celtic knot that never truly masked the stain.
Drew’s head tilts slightly. “Do you still see the blood?”
I don’t answer. But I do let my hand fall to my side again.
“You do, don’t you? Grow the fuck up, bro. Why the hell did I ever trust you?”
I stare at him. My hand moves up my leg to my waist. I slide it around and under my shirt and feel the cool handle of the gun move against my back.
“I went to the trailer,” he says, his voice merging with the rumble of the storm. “I saw it. I saw what you did. I saw your fucking painting. Look, this can all go away. We can get past this.” He pauses. “Think about it. Think about everything we’ve overcome. Everything we’ve done together. It’ll be okay, Liam. Just tell me where she is.”
I blink. “Lauren?”
“Jesus,” Drew snaps. “Are you serious? I don’t give a shit about her.”
I see the change on his face. It is subtle but slow. He is getting angry. This place. Patsy. Me. He is on edge. He is, maybe for the first time in his life, feeling the strings slipping from his fingers, just a bit. Hopefully, just enough.
“Patsy knows,” I whisper.
He has pinned everything to me. He’s hidden behind me. I know this now. I need to take that away. I need my brother to feel exposed, naked in front of the truth. Only then will he slip up. Only then do I have a chance.
“There’s nothing to know,” Drew says.
“She knows I didn’t kill him,” I say.
His laughter is cutting and harsh. “Yes, you did.”
No, I think. “She knows what you made me do.”
“I made you stab your father? Seriously.”
“She knows you choked him, Drew.”
“That’s a lie,” he says. “Who do you think she’ll believe, you idiot? You or me?”
I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t even know who I believe. Not yet.
“She knows about Lauren,” I say.
“Who cares?” he shouts.
“She’s leaving you, bro.”
“Yeah . . . right . . . she is.”
It is the first time I have heard my brother stammer. I say nothing, watching him, trying to let the fear I feel show on my face. Just enough for him to suspect nothing.
He rubs the rain from his eyes. “She’s using you, Liam. Can’t you see that? Patsy hates you. She always has. You scare her. But look, it’s done between us. That’s why the whole Lauren thing happened. Patsy and I are finished. I’m done with her. Don’t let her ruin everything.”
This is it. My last card. “I have the keys, Drew.”
And he blinks. For the first time in all our games, he blinks first.