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TONITA WOKE TO THE hushed sounds of a male voice whispering. Her cramped arm lay under her and the cold marble tiles of the secret room’s floor chilled her entire right side. She pulled her arm out from beneath her body’s weight, raised herself up and leaned back against the wall.
Dominic stood in the center of the room, his back to Tonita. His hands were pressed together and his head bowed down. He spoke quietly, “Oh Saint Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my interest and desires. Oh Saint Joseph, do assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your divine Son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, our Lord. So that, having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most Loving of Fathers.” Dominic raised his head to the ceiling of the room, reflected, and then continued, “Oh Saint Joseph, I never weary contemplating you, and Jesus asleep in your arms; I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me, and ask Him to return the kiss when I draw my dying breath.” Dominic moved his hand to his forehead, then his chest, then to his left shoulder, finishing the sign of the cross at his right shoulder. “Saint Joseph, Patron of departed souls, pray for me.”
Tonita shuffled in her position in a subtle attempt to alert Dominic that she was awake. “Are you praying?” Tonita stood up, sliding her back against the wall, while pushing against the floor with her legs.
“I was. Habits of a priest are hard to break.”
And you’re a priest again?” She walked toward Dominic.
Dominic glared at her. “I’ve never stopped.”
“It’s funny how people find salvation when they have no other choice.”
“I’ve always been a priest.”
“Hey, you don’t have to convince me.” Tonita turned away from him slowly, walking in a circle around the room.
“I’m not trying to. And the prayer was not one of salvation. It was a prayer to Saint Joseph asking for strength,” he paused and cocked his head, raising his chin up. “Strength in battle.”
Tonita looked at him, massaged her still aching arm, and said, “Oh? Battle? As in a battle with our inner demons?” She contemplated pushing him harder, conjuring up those inner demons that Dominic kept so deeply confined, then backed off. Time for revelations later, she thought.
“As in,” Dominic sarcastically mocked. “The Pope sent the prayer to the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V in the early fifteen hundreds. It was said that anyone who reads, says, or hears the prayer shall never die by drowning, poison, fire, or be captured by the enemy.” Dominic let the words set in, then continued, “I thought we could use it.”
“Well, we certainly fit into the ‘captured by the enemy’ part of that prayer.”
Dominic paused. “Were you listening?”
“Kind of.”
“Good then. We’re both covered.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled. “I would hate for you to remain ‘captured by the enemy,’ when I’m protected by the prayer and get to go free.”
“You wouldn’t rescue me?”
“Maybe?”
“I get a maybe?”
“Since I got an ‘oh, you’re a priest again,’ yeah. You get a maybe.”
“I’m only testing your resolve.”
“Dominic, not Abraham.”
Tonita shook her head. “What?”
“I’m Dominic, not Abraham.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“Abraham and Isaac. It’s the biblical story of Abraham and how he was tested by God, so that God would see what was truly in his heart. God ordered Abraham to take his son Isaac, his only son, to a mountain and slit his throat, then burn him as a sacrifice.”
“And you are not like Abraham?”
“Not in the—I would do whatever God commanded without question, area. You should know that by now. Abraham did not question God’s words and set out to sacrifice his beloved son. I, on the other hand, question everything that God asks of me.” Dominic paused, looked up. “Is there not room for both; those who obey without question and those who question before they obey? Isn’t God testing us all in different ways to see what is truly in each of our hearts?”
“Spoken like a true priest.” Tonita moved closer to Dominic and stared into his eyes.
“Maybe?” he said.
She smiled, then wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. “Dominic, I’m scared.”
Dominic engulfed her with his arms and pulled her in as close as he could. “I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t.”
“Let’s just get out of this room and go someplace where no one will bother us. Where we won’t be looking for something, and no one will be looking for us. We could live in a nice quiet little town in the country somewhere. Where there are woods and fields...and a canal.”
“A canal?”
“We could move to Perinton,” Tonita said, clapping her hands together.
“Where the hell is Perinton?”
“In western New York somewhere. I saw an article on it in a magazine on the plane. It’s a quiet town in the hills with creeks and trains and...”
“And I know...a canal.”
“Right.”
“And we’re just going to move there? Run away?”
Tonita let her arms fall away from Dominic and took a step back. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing all along?”
Dominic closed his eyes and breathed in and out deeply. He opened his eyes and looked into Tonita’s. “Is that what you think?”
Tonita began to step toward him, then stopped. “Dominic, you left the states after seminary, moved to Italy, joined a church, left a church, and hid in Rome from yourself and from the church. Now, you’re running again, this time chasing after some mystery.”
“I didn’t ask to get involved in this.”
Tonita took that step toward him. “I’m not saying it’s wrong, what you’re doing. But you’ve got to admit that...” She let her voice trail off.
“Admit what?”
“It’s just kind of strange that Cardinal Celent and the church wanted you.”
Dominic laughed. “Why is that strange? Am I such a bad choice?”
“Dominic? You don’t even believe in God.”
“Why would you say that?” Dominic turned away from her. “I believe in ...” he began, then stopped. He walked to a corner of the room, leaned his head against the wall, and remained silent for several minutes. Dominic turned back to Tonita.
“I’ve always had my doubts. That’s why I joined the church.” He paused, sighed then let the words out. “And that’s why I took a sabbatical from the church. I think God is there. Sometimes, I know he’s there. When I look at all the church has. All the wealth, the power—hell, the church was a government for the longest time and maybe still is. That’s when I doubt God exists. That’s when I think that God is just an invention of man to keep other men in their place. To keep me in my place.”
“And where is that, Dom? Where is your place?”
Dominic ran a hand through his hair, pushing it off his face. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice choking. “Maybe I have no place. Maybe it’s me they’re afraid of. Tonita, did you ever think that I might be the bad guy here. And that the good guys are trying to kill me. And that I’m the one being protected by evil?”
“No, Dom. I’ve never thought that.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I mean it. If anyone would know, I would know if you were one of the bad guys.”
“How? How could you know?”
Tonita remained silent. The smile on her face faded and she turned away from him.
“You don’t know,” he said, walking away from Tonita. He faced a corner of the room, his back to her and hers to him. “You don’t know and neither do I.” He turned around staring at the back of her. “And you know what Tonita? God doesn’t know either.”