Chapter Ten

Duncan didn’t realize he’d spoken his thoughts until Selina smiled coyly at him.

Selina bent her head and looked at Duncan between her lashes. “Selina Pemberton, my lord.” She attempted a curtsy, but lost her balance.

Duncan ripped off his jacket and attempted to peel his boots off, but he slipped on the wet bank. He landed on his rear, and the peal of Selina’s laughter echoed around them. She had righted herself, only getting the bottom of her dress wet, and came to his rescue. She looked down at him with delight shining from her eyes. He attempted a growl, which only brought more amusement to her face.

“Oh, dear, Lord Forrester, it appears as if you wrestled the mud and it won.” Selina brought her hand up to cover her smile.

Duncan looked down and noticed his once crisp white shirt was now covered in mud and grass stains. It would appear he needed to gather more sweets for the servant who had the task of cleaning his clothes. Since he hadn’t brought a valet with him, some poor maid must scrub out the stains. Oh, well, it was worth it to relish her enjoyment.

He gave Selina a sheepish smile before tugging on her ankle. “It would appear so.”

She gasped and landed on top of him. One minute Selina teased Duncan, the next she found herself spread across him with his arm circling around her waist. He brought his hand up and swiped her nose with his thumb. She crinkled her nose, peering cross-eyed to see he had smeared a dab of mud on her face.

Duncan gasped for dramatic effect. “Why, Lady Selina, it would appear you have suffered from the same mishap as myself.”

Selina’s eyes twinkled with revenge, but she never moved a single inch. “No, ‘tis only from your brutal treatment that it appears so. Not from my clumsy attempt to save a damsel in distress. One I had to save myself from because a certain lord possessed no skill to act quickly enough. If I am not mistaken, this feels like one of those déjà vu moments.”

Duncan shook his head in denial. “Oh, no, you shall not blame me for that incident. That one was truly your fault, which resulted in both of us getting drenched.”

Selina pushed herself off Duncan, shaking out her skirts. Water sprayed him in the face, but he didn’t care, for he caught a magnificent glance of very shapely legs. Long, slender legs rising to the most tempting sight of pale ivory thighs. Before he took more of her in, she stepped over him and sat down. Selina opened the basket and drew out an apple. Then she picked up her book and started reading while eating, ignoring him as if he were not even there. Duncan chuckled to himself. So that was how it would be?

Duncan pushed himself to his feet. He untied his cravat and tugged his shirt out of his trousers, pulling the muddy garment from his body. He whipped it off, walked to the brook, and dipped it into the water. The clear blue water turned a murky brown. He hunched down and rubbed the shirt together, working out the mud. His gaze wandered back over to find Selina engrossed in her book, flipping a page after reading it and eating the apple. Totally oblivious to him. When it appeared as clean as he could get it, he laid it out across the rock for the warm sun to dry it out, then stretched out on the grass and closed his eyes. He listened to the occasional crunch of an apple and a page turning.

Duncan squinted, turning his head to stare at Selina. She sat cross-legged with the book on her lap and her head bent. She had taken off her bonnet. Her hair had come unbound, and the light breeze lifted the tendrils sweeping across her face. Selina swept them away and tucked them behind her ears, never once taking her eyes off her story. Once again, he wondered who this creature was. It was then he knew the depth of his troubles and how hard he had fallen for Selina. If he imagined he’d fallen in love with her long before, then their stolen time only reaffirmed his feelings, making him fall deeper in love.

This creature differed from the one he’d encountered before. She’d mentioned a moment they shared in the past, where he’d rocked a boat and drowned both of them. He still heard her shrieks of displeasure. However, in his defense, he’d only tried to save her from a bee. And what had he received in return? A set-down that would burn most gentlemen’s ears. But not him. No, he found amusement in her tirade. She’d been a most glorious sight that afternoon. Her gown had been soaked and visible to his roving gaze. With each slanderous word she uttered, her bosom heaved in fury. Selina only heightened his desire to have her for himself.

He sighed, turning his head back up to the sky. He would have to shelve his plans to relentlessly pursue and tear down her defenses. His father’s advice to treat Selina with kindness and Anna Groves’ warning to not break her heart echoed loud and clear. No matter how much he ached to possess her mind, body, and soul, he ached more to learn this side of her character and to become her friend. Duncan tensed, closing his hands into fists at his side, fighting his inner desires. Then he relaxed, accepting the new course he would take to win Selina’s heart. He smiled at the new peace he found, and he closed his eyes to enjoy the warmth of a late summer day.

Selina fought to concentrate on reading the book of poems. She hadn’t read a single word since she’d opened the book. How could she concentrate when Duncan stripped off his clothing? Well, not all of his clothing, unfortunately. Unfortunately? Selina pressed her hand against her cheek and felt the warmth of her wanton thoughts. When Duncan turned, she quickly dropped her hand and turned a page, pretending interest in the book. It took all of her control to eat the apple and pretend he wasn’t there. Her mind raced with indecent thoughts of him stripping bare and swimming in the water. Could she show her own bravery by joining him if he acted on her indecent thoughts?

Duncan had caught her unaware when he questioned her on who she was. She wanted to share her true self with him. Not the viper everyone in his family and the ton believed her to be. This was a secret spot she used to escape from the hostility of the Colebourne household. It was the spot where her life had taken an unexpected change, the place where she’d discovered a different life existed from the station her father raised her in. She’d met her first friend here.

Selina peeked out between her lashes to see Duncan relaxing in the sun. A sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it. The only reaction from Duncan was a smile spreading across his face. But not one comment escaped his lips, nor did he turn his head. His eyes remained closed and his body relaxed in the day’s warmth.

Oh, but he was most divine. She couldn’t stop her gaze from devouring him as her eyes traveled the length of his body, no matter how hard she tried. His broad chest glistened in the sunlight and his bronze skin beckoned her to come near and caress its hard ridges. Duncan wasn’t one of your debonair aristocrats who lazed around in the clubs or indulged in hedonistic pleasures. He spent most of his time outdoors, doing physical activities.

Duncan’s smile widened when he heard her sigh. “Are you going to share what is inside your basket or am I to starve while watching you consume its contents?”

Duncan caught the apple and took a bite out of the succulent fruit. “What are you reading?”

Selina thumbed through the book to find a poem to read to Duncan. “This is Love’s Philosophy by Percy Bysshe Shelley.” She cleared her throat and launched into the poem.

“The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?—

“See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?”

Duncan listened to the lyrical sadness in Selina’s voice when she read the poem. The words whispered in the wind, drawing forth more questions. Was the poem meant for him to kiss her again? Or did she long for Lucas to kiss her with reassurances of the vows they were to speak soon?

When she raised her gaze to meet his, he saw the longing in them and knew she meant the poem for him alone. Which only made him fight his own longings instead of giving into the pull of her emotions that begged him to fulfill her needs.

When he’d decided to follow the advice of others, it was before Selina had exposed her true self to him. Vulnerabilities and all. But as she showed him more than her vulnerability, she opened herself for him to see her desires. They were for him and no other.

Selina blushed and nodded. She read more of Shelley and then Wordsworth. Her voice rang clear with the passion written in the poems, as if she had written them. The more she read, the closer he moved toward her, entranced in her spell. Duncan needed to touch her, if only in a friendly gesture. He didn’t understand how or why, but he sensed she needed comfort. He needed to be the person to offer it to her, whether as a lover or a friend. Whatever she wanted him to be, he would be that person for her.

Duncan ran his hand down her arm and laced his finger with her hand resting on her knee. His thumb ran along the crease of hers in a gentle stroke. Her words hesitated at his touch, but continued on. On the last verse of the poem, her voice grew shaky. Her eyes drifted to the joining of their hands. He squeezed her fingers, and her gaze rose to meet his. Duncan wished to take away her sorrows into his soul and carry the burden of them.

Selina giggled. “No, I do not.” Then her expression grew pensive. “Nor will anyone miss me.”

Selina’s smile brightened. “When I was around the age of six, I got lost and discovered this spot.”

“The governess my father hired at the time became infatuated with a local farmer. We would take a walk on the pretense of visiting the village when she actually met with the boy for a secret assignation. They met in a cottage hidden in the trees and ordered me to wait a distance away.” Selina pointed through the trees.

“Aye. I know of the cottage. Sinclair’s family owns it. They built the cottage for a retired servant who had no other family. Now it sits abandoned and is used whenever Sinclair or any local peers wish for a hunting lodge to escape to.”

Selina nodded and raised her brows. “Yes, well, others use the cottage for other activities. One day, I grew bored from waiting, and it was hot standing in the sun. I had seen this brook when we passed through and wanted a drink. So I ventured closer and heard laughter. When I came upon the brook, I saw Anna and some other girls with their mothers. I remember Anna’s mother rushed toward me, questioning me on who I was and why I was alone. But I stayed silent, too afraid to tell her. My governess had warned me if I told on her indiscretions, no one would ever like me.”

Duncan swore explicitly, causing Selina to blush at his vulgarity. He motioned for her to continue.

“Her threat was not what stopped me, but watching how the young girls played happily with each other and their mothers. They expressed such joy with each other. I had seen nothing like it before. I have no memories of my mother. My father never allowed me to play with other children, except for Lucas. At my young age, I was confused at the dynamics of why he could be my friend when no other child could.”

Duncan growled, hanging on to his anger by a thread, but tried to keep it under control so he could listen to Selina’s story.

“Soon Anna came over to me and grabbed my hand. She helped me off with my shoes and stockings. When her mother realized her intentions, she helped to tie my dress up, so as not to get wet. Then Anna led me into the water. I remember standing there and feeling a sense of something I had never felt before.”

“Ah, love. That is all I wish to give you.” Duncan couldn’t help himself. He needed her to know.

Selina lifted her other hand to his cheek. “I know. But ‘tis not your responsibility. Soon, that will lie with another.”

“Will you allow me the privilege during this fleeting passage of time we have together?” Duncan pleaded.

“Yes.” Then Selina surprised him by leaning forward and placing a soft kiss against his lips before pulling back and continuing her story.

“When my governess never showed to find me, Anna’s mother took me home with them and sent word to the duke. Colebourne, not wanting to alarm my father of my disappearance, showed up to collect me himself. He saw the change in my demeanor and arranged for me to play with Anna and the other girls during my visits to the estate. However, after a few visits, my father learned of my new friends and forbade me to visit with them again. He kept a tight restriction on my activities whenever we visited Colebourne Manor.”

Selina shook her head with a teasing grin on her face. “So impatient. You must let me continue.” She pulled her hand from his and rummaged in the basket. She pulled out another tin, opened it, and set it on his lap. “Eat. While I weave a tale,” Selina demanded.

Duncan pulled out a chunk of cheese, split it into two, and handed Selina a piece. “Is it a tale?”

Selina nibbled a bite before responding. “No. ‘Tis but a glimpse into my soul.”

Duncan nodded, handing Selina pieces of food to eat in between the telling of her story. He listened, absorbing each scrap of knowledge he could of Selina.

“Well, a few years later, as you know, chaos descended on Colebourne Manor when your cousins lost their parents and moved in. It was an opportunity my father allowed for me to spend in the company of other girls. Like a fool, I thought they would grant me the same acceptance as Anna and her friends. Instead, they excluded me from their tight-knit group. I never understood how they only protected their broken hearts against the grief they suffered from losing their parents. But with each year passing, their rejection kept stinging, so I lashed out at them. Each time more vindictive than the last.”

“You mentioned you now understand they only acted out with grief. When did you realize their sufferings affected their actions?”

Selina cringed. “When Lady Langdale came to me and threatened to expose our kiss at the Kanfold Ball, I agreed to take part in her blackmail scheme to ruin Gemma to protect my standing in society. However, when Lady Langdale compared herself to me, shame overwhelmed me. I vowed then to stop her and atone for my past behavior. However, as you have noticed, I have made little progress on that front.”

Duncan attempted a smile. “No, but give them time. I am proud of the steps you have taken to make a change. And in time, they will too.”

“Ah, lad, ye must learn patience.” Selina attempted a Scottish accent, but it fell flat.

Duncan roared with laughter. She kept surprising him today. Who knew Selina Pemberton held a sense of humor? She sat across from him, smirking, and he wanted to absorb her smirk into his soul. He leaned over and captured her lips. He nibbled playfully until she sighed into his kiss and opened her mouth under his. Soon his teasing built into the passion that always grew out of control whenever they kissed.

He pulled her onto his lap, his hands diving into her hair. His mouth ravished her, drawing forth moans, fueling his desires higher. The tongues clashed, devouring each other, wanting to explore where their passion might lead them. When Selina caressed his chest, he thought he might explode. Her exploration set a path of fire from one touch to the next.

Selina pressed into Duncan, her body aching for his hands to explore her as hers did him. His body was crafted with a statue’s perfection. Hard and unmovable. But he held her with the gentleness of an angel. His kiss started out playful, but now devoured Selina with a passion she no longer wanted to deny.

Before Selina could explore his body anymore, he pulled away from their kiss and grabbed her hands. He brought them to his lips and placed kisses on them. Then he stretched their bodies out and cradled her into his arms. At her frown, he placed a kiss upon it. “Finish your story, lass, while I still have a hold on my resistance.”

Duncan growled. “Selina, I am trying with everything I have in me to respect your boundaries. Do not tempt me. Now finish your story, or I will walk away.”

Selina pondered Duncan’s words. Why was he fighting their attraction when only yesterday he’d stated his intention to steal her from Lucas? Had he changed his mind? Their kiss spoke otherwise. Even now, he held her like something precious to treasure. Duncan was a walking contradiction she wanted to understand. She didn’t wish for him to leave, which only left her to finish her story.

“Very well. Once your cousins settled into their new home, my father was unaware of how they did not welcome me into their inner circle. He thought I filled my days with them. My absence for hours on end went unnoticed by him and everyone else. By then, I had become most skilled on a horse. It was then I learned one of Colebourne’s groomsman was Anna’s brother. He remembered my visits and helped me to see Anna and her friends again. So I reacquainted with them, and they welcomed me as if I had never disappeared. Never once asking about my absence, only letting me spend time with them. This continued over the years. Since then, they have married and started their families while I watched. I hold out hope that I can share my family with them as they have shared their families with me. Never once did I envy them. I only felt joy when they found love.”

Duncan feathered his fingers through Selina’s hair. “Anna is very protective of you.”

Selina sighed. “All for good reasons. I have cried out my sorrows on her shoulders over the years. It was not until today that I realized she considered me a friend.”

Selina shrugged. “I didn’t understand the meaning of friendship. But now I do. I only hope I can return the gesture as strongly as she does to me.”

Selina smiled, laying her head against Duncan’s chest. His smile grew once he realized Selina had drifted off to sleep in his arms. She clung to him, never loosening her hold. He pulled her closer and thought over the story she told him.