‘Gosh, I don’t like the sound of it out there,’ Rose said, nestling against me as rain lashed against the sash windows and the wind, which had woken us up, rattled the wooden frames. ‘Wild, isn’t it?’
I picked up my watch off the bedside table, peering at it in the gloom to check the time: 8 a.m. It was the morning after the concert. When it had ended, I’d decided to return to the Royal Hotel in Talafirth with Rose and the rest of the orchestra, and we’d sat up late at the hotel bar, drinking and talking, until Rose and I were the only ones left. It felt almost like I’d gone back to my life before I’d had the accident and come to Svarta Ness, leaving me with a strange sense of dislocation that only intensified when, in the small hours, Rose and I had finally tumbled into bed. I had intended to go back to the camp, but she’d said, ‘Oh, who cares what anyone thinks. We might not actually be married yet, but we’re practically there. And who knows when we might see each other again?’
‘You get used to it,’ I told her now, lying down again with an arm flung over my head while she traced a finger across my chest. ‘We have storms all the time here.’
Rose bit her lip. ‘I hope it settles down by this afternoon, otherwise it’ll be awfully rough trying to get back to the mainland. You should have seen how sick poor Clive was on the way here yesterday.’
‘Thank goodness I didn’t. I wish you didn’t have to go so soon.’
‘Me too.’ Rose propped herself up on her elbow and looked at me sadly. ‘But it isn’t forever, darling. One day soon the war will be over, and then we won’t have to do this any more – no more snatched moments together whenever we can get them, just married bliss!’
‘We’ll get sick of the sight of each other,’ I joked.
She laughed. ‘I’m sure we will. But once we have our house we’ll be able to rattle about as we please and just see each other at mealtimes, so we shan’t get too annoyed with one another.’ The dimple in her cheek appeared. ‘That place in Surrey is still for sale, you know. And as I’ve said in several of my letters, it’s so convenient. It’s a dreadful shame your leave was cancelled or we could have gone to take a look at it.’
Damn. With everything that had been going on at the station – the attacks, the search for the spy – I had forgotten all about the house in Surrey, and forgotten to tell Rose it was beyond our means too.
‘Honey,’ I said, carefully, ‘we need to talk about that.’
She looked up at me. ‘You can’t afford it,’ she said flatly.
‘Well – no. Not really. And even if I could, I’m not sure they’ll let me stay in Britain after the war’s over.’
One corner of her mouth twisted, and her eyebrows drew together.
‘I wondered if you'd given any thought to Canada yet,’ I said, heart thumping. ‘I’ll be able to get us a nice place over there, and I already have a job to go back to in my father’s factory, you know…’
I waited anxiously for her to reply.
‘Oh, let’s not talk about this now,’ she said at last. ‘We’ve got plenty of time to sort things out, I suppose.’
I was a little disappointed at how dismissive she sounded, but I leaned up and kissed her. ‘You’re right. And I thought you wanted to make the most of your time here. Let’s not fall out, eh?’
As she looked down at me, her hair falling across her face, there was a knock at the door. ‘Rose?’ I heard Clive say on the other side.
‘Bugger,’ she said under her breath; then, more loudly, ‘Just a minute!’
She clambered out of bed and grabbed her robe, pulling it around her and tying the belt as she went to the door.
‘Where’s the fire?’ she said as she opened the door a crack. ‘I thought we weren’t leaving until this afternoon?’
‘We’re not leaving at all,’ Clive said. ‘I’ve just been told there’s storms forecast for the next four days, and the ship won’t be able to go anywhere until they’re over.’
‘But what about the concert in Aberdeen?’
‘I’m going to telephone in a bit – if I can get through – and try to postpone it. Sorry, nothing I can do. But perhaps we—’
‘Well, I suppose it’s good news, really,’ Rose cut across him brightly. ‘I’ll be able to spend a bit more time with Bill! And you’ll get a respite from your seasickness!’
‘Yes.’
‘Keep me posted,’ Rose said, and closed the door on him. As she came back to bed, I was relieved to see she was smiling again. ‘Now, where were we?’ she said.
*
As forecast, the storm hung around for days, taking Svarta Ness off air for the duration as the aerial had to be lashed down. Back on watch, we whiled away the hours practising R/T procedures, using the telephones in the receiver and transmitter rooms.
For the first forty-eight hours, the weather was so bad I couldn’t get off the station. Even walking between the technical site and domestic sites was a battle, with the wind trying to knock you off your feet and the sleet-filled rain soaking through to your underclothes in minutes if you’d been foolish enough to forget your mac. But by the third day, although it was still blowing a gale and the sea was heaving, the rain had passed. After I’d come off the overnight shift and snatched a few hours’ broken sleep, I decided to walk down to the Royal Hotel. Being stuck there for three days solid while it rained sideways must have been driving Rose mad, and even if the weather had been good and her extended stay here had been planned, I couldn’t exactly see her wanting to tramp around the hills and beaches.
As I walked along the muddy road, the sun was finally trying to break through the blanket of steel-coloured cloud sitting over the island like a lid. The calls of the gulls and the roar of the wind and the waves filled my ears, making me feel oddly content despite the fatigue that always came after a night shift. I remembered my realisation the day Rose had turned up – the day of the concert – that I didn’t find the island bleak or uninviting any more. Damn, Gauthier, I thought. This place really must be getting under your skin.
When I got into the village I took a quick detour to Sutherland’s Stores, hoping I might be able to pick up a bunch of flowers, but the shelves were bare. ‘I’m sorry, Sergeant,’ Bertha said, ‘but until the Zetland Princess can get to Lerwick again I’ve nothing in.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ I reassured her. ‘Looks like the weather’s on the turn anyhow.’
‘I hope so. I’m ready for spring, I can tell you – we all are!’
Empty-handed but still cheerful, I made my way to the Royal Hotel and went up to Rose’s room. As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard voices in the corridor beyond; a woman’s and a man’s, urgent but hushed, as if they were having an argument.
‘But when?’ the man’s voice said, more clearly.
‘Soon,’ the woman’s voice said, and I realised it was Rose. She and Clive were standing outside her room, Rose leaning against the wall with her arms folded and her head thrown back, almost defiantly. Clive wore an expression that was somewhere between annoyed and defeated.
I cleared my throat. They both jumped and looked round. ‘Bill!’ Rose said. ‘You didn’t tell me you were coming. Clive and I were just having a discussion about the upcoming concert programme, weren’t we, Clive?’
‘I must go,’ Clive said. He pushed past me, hurrying down the stairs.
‘What’s got his goat?’ I said.
‘Heaven knows.’ Rose caught my hand and leaned in for a kiss. ‘I’m glad you’re here – I was beginning to think I wouldn’t see you again before we left!’
‘No danger of that. I’m free for a few hours – do you want to go out and have a wander around? It’s windy, but dry.’
She shook her head, her lip curling slightly. ‘No, thanks. I can see everything of this place I need to from the window. I thought this was supposed to be a town? All that’s out there is hills, sheep and the sea!’
She kept up a litany of complaints as we went into her room. As I’d suspected, she was going out of her mind with boredom. ‘What do you do here?’ she said as we undressed and got into bed. ‘It’s so… provincial. Everyone looks like they were born in the clothes they’re wearing!’
‘Hey, that’s not fair,’ I said. ‘It’s not like people can save up their coupons and nip down to Harrods like you can.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘I know, I know. Look, I’ve just been a bit lonely here the last couple of days, that’s all.’ She relaxed into my arms. I began kissing her, sliding my hand around the curve of her breast, and after that, we didn’t speak for a while.
‘You should ask about getting a posting somewhere else,’ Rose said afterwards, lighting a cigarette and blowing a stream of smoke up towards the ceiling. ‘Oh, I don’t mean flying again – that would be far too dangerous, I’d spend all my time worrying about you getting shot down or blown to bits – but surely there’s a radar station somewhere near London you could ask to transfer to?’
I laughed. ‘It doesn’t quite work like that, I’m afraid.’
‘Why not? Daddy has a cousin who’s high up in the air force – perhaps I could write to him for you.’
‘Please don’t,’ I said.
‘But why not? You can’t like it here! It’s a wretched place – the absolute ends of the earth!’
‘It’s really not as bad as you think. Everyone’s so kind – they do everything they can to make us feel welcome. And frankly, after the accident, and spending every night before that wondering if I’d make it back in one piece, being in Shetland’s a tonic.’
Rose raised an eyebrow, taking another drag on her cigarette. ‘I can’t believe you really mean that!’ she said. Her eyes narrowed. ‘Is that why you aren’t coming down to London next week?’
‘No!’ I exclaimed. ‘I told you, our leave’s been cancelled – there’s nothing I can do about that! They probably will send me somewhere else at some point, but I don’t get any say in it. They tell us where to go, and we go.’
Rose sighed heavily. ‘I s’pose so.’
‘C’mon,’ I pleaded with her. ‘Don’t be like this. I don’t even know when I’ll see you again.’
She sighed again. ‘It’s not fair. This war is such a nuisance. If I could get to that horrid old Hitler, I’d shoot him myself.’
‘You’re at the back of a very long queue,’ I told her, and quite unbidden, Hedda popped into my mind. Compared to Rose, she’d lost everything, yet I hadn’t heard her complain about any of it – not once.
Jesus Christ, stop thinking about Hedda, I told myself. A wave of tiredness rolled over me; as usual, trying to catch forty winks in Hut 1 after being on watch all night had been like trying to sleep in a zoo. The hotel, by comparison, was quiet, save for the wind still making the window frames shudder.
‘Wake me up at four, OK?’ I told Rose, burrowing down into the pillows. If she answered me, I didn’t hear her. I was asleep almost as soon as I’d closed my eyes.