CHAPTER 5

AVOID LANDMINES THAT COULD MAKE YOUR SITUATION WORSE

If you’re facing the challenge of working with a boss who can’t or won’t lead, you’re already in difficult circumstances. You may be able to improve your relationship with your boss and help your situation by doing the things I’ve suggested in the previous chapters. There’s no guarantee that things will get better. But I guarantee things can get worse.

You can take steps to avoid many of the common landmines that threaten to blow up a relationship with a boss—whether that boss is a good leader or a bad one. I recommend you follow this advice and help yourself.

AVOID CREEPING DISCONTENT

When you’re working for a bad boss, it’s easy to feel frustrated and discontented. However, it’s essential that you maintain a sense of positive contentment despite the challenges if you want to be successful. Remember that in the long run, success is more a matter of disposition than position. With the right mindset and the right skills, you can influence people no matter where you are in an organization. And you can feel a sense of reward for doing a job well.

So how do you develop an attitude of contentment and fulfillment while working for a difficult boss?

1. DEVELOP STRONG RELATIONSHIPS WITH KEY PEOPLE

The key to fulfillment isn’t making every interaction with others go smoothly; it comes from developing strong relationships with people. It’s more important to get along with people than to get ahead of them. If you make it your goal to reach out to others and build relationships with them, you will derive fulfillment wherever you are. And whatever you do, don’t give up too easily on others if you at first don’t like them or easily connect with them. You may be surprised by how, over time, a potential adversary can become an ally.

2. ENGAGE IN CONTINUAL COMMUNICATION

As you interact with your boss, let him know how you are advancing the vision. Get his feedback and ask questions to find out if there are other things you should know to more effectively pass on the vision to others. The more effectively you fulfill your role and let your boss know how you’re contributing, the more fulfilled you will likely be.

3. GAIN EXPERIENCE AND MATURITY

Maturity doesn’t come automatically, but you can develop it with experience if you maintain a longer view. Focusing on the responsibilities with which you are entrusted wherever you are and completing them with excellence will bring greater fulfillment than receiving recognition from your boss. And if you can maintain that long view, you will develop patience. That has great value because patience gives you time to learn, network, and gain wisdom. Humorist Arnold Glasow said, “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg—not smashing it.”

4. PUT THE TEAM ABOVE YOUR PERSONAL SUCCESS

John Wooden said, “The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” In other words, teamwork is what creates success, and we shouldn’t lose sight of that. One player may be crucial to a team, but one player cannot make a team. When the stakes are high, good team members put the success of the team ahead of their own personal gains. They work together, and they receive the satisfaction of achievement together.

STAY AWAY FROM OFFICE POLITICS

When you work for a bad boss and everyone on the team knows it, you’re in a difficult situation. On the one hand you may be frustrated with your boss and see all his weaknesses. When people on the team say negative things about your boss, you may internally agree with them. However, you want to help the organization and take the high road, so you know the best course of action is to support him publicly and try to help him.

In response to this situation, some people play politics. I would define “playing politics” as changing who you appear to be or what you normally do to gain an advantage with whoever currently has power or can help you in the moment. Among those who run for public office, that often means changing their position on issues depending on which group they’re speaking to. In work environments, it may mean constantly changing positions depending on who you’re with or being disingenuous to get on the winning side. Political people are fickle and opportunistic, doing what’s expedient in the moment to win, regardless of what’s best for their peers, their employees, or the organization.

There seem to be two main paths for people to get ahead in organizations. One way is by doing the work. The other is by working an angle. It’s the difference between production and politics.

PEOPLE WHO RELY ON PRODUCTION

                  PEOPLE WHO RELY ON POLITICS

Depend on how they grow

                  Depend on who they know

Focus on what they do

                  Focus on what they say

Become better than they appear

                  Appear better than they are

Provide substance

                  Take shortcuts

Do what’s necessary

                  Do what’s popular

Work to control their own destiny

                  Let others control their destiny

Grow into the next level

                  Hope to be given the next level

Base decisions on principles

                  Base decisions on opinions

The bottom line is that people who might be described as “political” are two-faced because they are ruled by their desire to get ahead instead of a desire for excellence, productivity, teamwork, or consistency. Whatever values and skills they have are secondary to their ambition. And while they sometimes appear to get ahead, their gains are always temporary. In the long run, integrity, consistency, and productivity always pay off—in better teamwork and a clear conscience.

If you have played politics at work in the past, perhaps you saw others do it and you thought that was what you had to do to advance in your career. Or maybe you didn’t have confidence in yourself because you weren’t advancing. You may not have done it maliciously, but whatever the reason, if you have played politics, you can be certain that you have betrayed the trust of others. Your boss and your peers might not know where you stand or what you stand for. You may even need to go to those people to apologize and seek reconciliation. That may be hard, but if you desire to build positive relationship and develop your influence, you will need to do it to regain credibility.

If you are not a political person by nature, I still recommend that you exercise caution. Some working environments seem to draw people toward political behavior. To avoid such difficulties, do the following:

1. AVOID GOSSIP

It’s been said that great people talk about ideas, average people talk about themselves, and small people talk about other people. That’s what gossip does. It makes people small. There really is no upside to gossip. It diminishes the person being talked about. It diminishes the person who is saying unkind things about others, and it even diminishes the person who listens to it. That’s why you should avoid not only spreading gossip but also being a recipient of it. If you stop people from unloading gossip on you, it will make you feel better about the person who’s being talked about, as well as about yourself. Besides, whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.

Never vent about your boss to others to make yourself feel better. If you have a problem with any person, the right thing to do is always to approach that individual and address the issue directly—never speak through a third party. Praise others publicly, and if you have a criticism, take it to them privately. And never say anything about your boss that you wouldn’t want him to hear—because he probably will.

2. STAY AWAY FROM PETTY ARGUMENTS

In most places where people work, there are past grudges, ongoing feuds, and petty arguments that run like currents through the organization. You would be wise to avoid getting sucked into these, even if you think you can resolve them. As the saying goes, a bulldog can beat a skunk in a fight anytime, but he knows it’s just not worth it.

It is a sign of maturity when someone knows what’s petty and what’s not—when to jump in, and when not to. Always seek the high road, and don’t take sides in others’ battles.

3. STAND UP FOR WHAT’S RIGHT, NOT JUST FOR WHAT’S POPULAR

While I believe it’s often wise to avoid petty conflict, I also believe there are times people need to stand up for what’s right, even when such a stand will be unpopular. How do you know when to stand up and when not to, especially in our culture where many people see truth as subjective? My answer is that you use the Golden Rule: in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.4

In Ethics 101, I explain that a form of the Golden Rule is accepted by nearly every culture in the world. Most of the world’s religions have some version of the Golden Rule, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Zoroastriansim, Confucianism, Baha’i, and Jainism. When someone is being treated in a way that you would not want to be treated, then it’s time to stand up.

4. LOOK AT ALL SIDES OF AN ISSUE

I love this tongue-in-cheek piece of business advice: before you have an argument with your boss, take a good look at both sides—his side and the outside. While seeing things from multiple points of view with your peers may not be as career-altering as seeing things from your boss’s point of view, there is still great value in seeing issues from as many sides as possible. It always pays to avoid being dogmatic or stuck in one box in your thinking.

5. DON’T PROTECT YOUR TURF

Politics is often about power. Political leaders protect whatever is theirs because they don’t want to lose power. If they lose power, then they might not win, and winning is their primary motivation. People who want to win at all costs fight and scrape to keep everything that belongs to them. They fight for their budget. They fight for office space. They fight for their ideas. They hoard their supplies. If it belongs to them, they protect it.

To gain influence and work well with other people, you need to take a broader view. You need to look at what’s best for the team, not just yourself. You need to let go of your agenda if it benefits the team. If it makes more sense for someone else to do a job you want to do, you need to stop fighting to keep it. What matters is the team, not your turf.

6. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

If you want to develop trust with your peers and your boss, you must be more than competent. You must also be credible and consistent. You gain that reputation by making sure that what you say, what you do, and what you say you will do all match. If you do that, the people who work with you will know they can depend on you.

I don’t mean to cast a negative light on everyone involved in politics. I’ve known many candidates for public office who displayed the highest integrity and truly wanted to serve the people. But the word politician, which once conjured positive images, brings to mind negative ones for most people.

Instead of trying to be a politician, strive to be a statesman. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary explains:

These terms differ particularly in their connotations; Politician suggests the schemes and devices of a person who engages in (esp. small) politics for party ends or for one’s own advantage; a dishonest politician. Statesman suggests the eminent ability, foresight, and unselfish patriotic devotion of a person dealing with (esp. important or great) affairs of state: a distinguished statesman.5

Becoming a statesman for your team and organization is an excellent idea. If you continually keep the big picture in mind, remain unselfish in your efforts, and try to be diplomatic with both your boss and your peers, you will distinguish yourself, gain credibility, and improve your effectiveness and that of the team. And you will also increase your influence.

NEVER MAKE YOUR BOSS FEEL LIKE YOU’RE WASTING HER TIME

For all leaders, time is precious. Time is the one commodity that cannot be increased, no matter what a person does. And it is the necessary component for the leader to do anything. For that reason, you must always be careful not to waste your boss’s time.

1. INVEST 10X

You show your value when you show that you value your boss’s time. The best way to do that is to spend ten minutes preparing for every minute that you expect to meet. Management author Charles C. Gibbons confirmed this when he advised, “One of the best ways to save time is to think and plan ahead; five minutes of thinking can often save an hour of work.”

In Today Matters, I wrote about the lunch I had with John Wooden. Before I went, I spent about ten hours preparing. I wanted to make the most of the time I had with him. You need to take a similar approach before you meet with your boss. The newer the relationship and the less chemistry you’ve developed with your boss, the more time you ought to put in on the front end preparing. The less your boss knows about you, the smaller the window of time you have to prove yourself. But if you prepare well, chances are you will get other opportunities. British prime minister Benjamin Disraeli said: “The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his time when it comes.”

2. DON’T MAKE YOUR BOSS THINK FOR YOU

Have you ever had an employee who seemed to ask questions constantly without ever taking the time to think for himself? It can be very frustrating, can’t it? In a question-and-answer session, Jack Welch talked about how important it is for someone starting out to be a good thinker. He said it’s one of the things that distinguishes a person from the rest of the people on the same level. Don’t ask your boss to think for you.

3. BRING SOMETHING TO THE TABLE

For years I have used the expression “bring something to the table” to describe a person’s ability to contribute to a conversation or to add value to others at a meeting. Not everyone does that. In life, some people always want to be the “guest.” Wherever they go, they are there to be served, to have their needs met, to be the recipient. Because they possess that attitude, they never bring anything to the table for anyone else.

As the leader of an organization, I am always looking for people who bring something to the table in the area of ideas. If they can be creative and generate ideas, that’s great. But I also highly value people who are constructive, who take an idea that someone puts on the table and make it better. Often the difference between a good idea and a great idea is the value added to it during the collaborative thinking process. Always try to bring something of value to the table when you meet with your boss.

4. IF ASKED TO SPEAK, DON’T WING IT

I admire people who can think on their feet and handle tough situations, but I have little respect for people who don’t prepare. I’ve found that the first time a person wings it, people usually cannot tell, but by the third or fourth meeting when a person talks without thinking, everybody knows it. Why? Because it all starts to sound the same. If people have little professional depth, they use everything they know as they wing it. The next time they try it, you hear the same kinds of things you heard the last time. After a while, they lose all credibility.

Former world championship boxer Joe Frazier said: “You can map out a fight plan or a life plan. But when the action starts, you’re down to your reflexes. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, you’re getting found out now under the bright lights.”3 If you don’t put in the work, you always eventually get found out.

5. GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE

When you first begin working with a boss, you may need to spend some time giving insight into the process by which you came to a decision. Early on in the relationship, you have to earn your credibility. But as time goes by and the relationship builds, just get to the point. Just because you possess all the data needed to explain what you’re doing doesn’t mean you need to share it. If your boss wants more detail or wants to know about the process you used, he can ask you for it.

KNOW WHEN TO PUSH . . .

When it comes to your boss, timing is always important. And it takes on even greater significance when you work with someone who has a difficult time leading. If you push when you shouldn’t, not only will what you have to say be unsuccessful, your boss may feel threatened and react badly toward you. To be successful, you have to know when to push and when to back off. Of course, there are times when you must speak up, even if the timing doesn’t seem ideal. The trick is knowing which is which. Here are four questions you can ask yourself to help determine if it is time to push:

1. DO I KNOW SOMETHING MY BOSS DOESN’T BUT NEEDS TO?

Every person working in the middle of an organization knows things that her boss doesn’t. Not only is that normal, but it’s also good. My brother Larry, who is an excellent leader and very successful businessman, tells his staff that he needs to be informed in two kinds of situations: when there is a great problem or when there is a great opportunity. In both cases, he wants to be involved in how the organization and its leaders will address those situations.

How do you know whether you need to bring something to your boss? You can ask specific questions up front, requesting that your leader spell out when you should bring him in, as Larry has done. Or you can play it by ear and find out by trial and error, using your best judgment and continuing to communicate until you identify the parameters. Generally, if you know something your boss doesn’t, and it can hurt the organization or her, you need to communicate it. If you do, you’ve done your part. You have no control over what your boss does with that information, so keep that in mind.

2. IS TIME RUNNING OUT?

There’s an old saying, “Better one word in time than two afterward.” If that was true in ages past, it is even more applicable today in our fast-paced society where information and markets move so quickly.

If waiting will make it impossible for your organization to seize an opportunity, take a risk and speak up. Your boss can always choose not to take your advice, but no leader wants to hear, “You know, I thought that might happen” after it’s too late. Give him the chance to decide.

3. ARE MY RESPONSIBILITIES AT RISK?

When your boss entrusts you with tasks, you have a responsibility to follow through and get them done. If you are having difficulty with that, most leaders I know would rather be informed about it and have an opportunity to help you accomplish them than see you work all by yourself but fail. If your boss assigned it, she wants you to actually get it done. She probably has wisdom to help or advise you. And she certainly doesn’t want to be blindsided or surprised by finding out too late that you did not get your work done.

4. CAN I HELP MY BOSS WIN?

Successful leaders make the right move at the right moment with the right motive. Bad leaders hesitate and often have a difficult time making decisions. There will be times when you recognize opportunities for your boss to win that he doesn’t see. When that is the case, it’s time to push forward. How do you know what your boss considers a win? Familiarize yourself with your boss’s priorities either through asking directly, or listening closely to what he says and observing where his focus lies. If you see a way for him to accomplish something related to one of his priorities, you can be sure he will consider it a win. Even if he doesn’t acknowledge your help, if you are consistently proactive in helping your boss, and therefore your company, achieve key goals, your efforts will be noted by those around you.

. . . AND WHEN TO BACK OFF

Knowing when to push is important, since you want to initiate to create wins or avoid losses. Possibly more important is knowing when to back off. That’s usually the bigger landmine that does the greater damage. Leaders may not always be aware of a missed opportunity because you failed to push, but they will definitely notice if you ought to back off but don’t. If you push your boss inappropriately too often, your boss might push you right out the door.

If you’re not sure whether it’s time to back off, ask these six questions:

1. AM I PROMOTING MY OWN PERSONAL AGENDA?

From the perspective of most bosses, they see two kinds people working for them: those who ask, “What can you do for me?” and those who ask, “What can I do for you?” The first are trying to get others to help them get to the top. The second are trying to carry their organization—along with its leaders and others they can help—to the top.

Smart employees back off if they realize that they are beginning to promote their own agenda instead of what’s good for the organization. Not only that, but they are willing to sacrifice their own resources for the greater good of the organization when necessary. If you try to push your boss for your own agenda, you’re pushing your way into a minefield.

2. HAVE I ALREADY MADE MY POINT?

It is your responsibility to communicate what you know and give your perspective on an issue. But it’s one thing to communicate and another to try to coerce your boss. Whatever choice your leader makes is not your responsibility. Besides, if you have made your point clearly, you are unlikely to help your cause by continuing to hammer away at it with your boss. President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “You do not lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership.” If you keep repeating yourself after your point’s been made, you’re just trying to get your own way.

The next time you are in a meeting with your boss, pay attention to the way you handle the presentation of your point of view. Do you state it clearly as a contribution to the discussion? Or do you hammer away at it to try to “win”? Trying to win your point at all costs with your boss can be like trying to do the same with your spouse. Even if you win the argument, you lose.

3. MUST EVERYONE BUT YOU TAKE THE RISK?

It’s easier to risk someone else’s resources, time, or reputation than your own. If you keep pushing when you won’t share in the risk, you will inevitably alienate the people who will. People don’t want to enter a partnership with someone when they have all the risk and their partner has none. Your boss is much more likely to listen to a suggestion if you have “skin in the game.” If you’re willing to put yourself on the line, your boss will have greater respect for your opinion.

4. DOES THE ATMOSPHERE SAY “NO”?

Kathie Wheat, a former employee who worked for Walt Disney World right out of college, said that Disney employees are trained to be sensitive to the emotional atmosphere and dynamics of the guests in their parks. One of the things they teach employees is to never approach a family that is arguing. That makes good sense.

You need to learn how to be an effective weather forecaster before pitching or pushing for something with your boss. You must take the temperature of the environment—and especially determine whether a storm may be brewing with your boss. Don’t let a great idea get rained on because you picked the wrong day to introduce it.

5. DOES MY REQUEST EXCEED THE RELATIONSHIP?

When you work with someone who can’t lead, you’re often stuck in a tough situation. You don’t hold a lot of cards. Often your only “ace” is the relationship you have with your boss—assuming you’ve done the work of creating relational chemistry. You must choose to play that ace carefully. If the push you are wanting to make exceeds the relationship, you are asking for your ace to be trumped.

You can tell a lot about the character and motives of people in the middle of an organization by watching when they push and when they back off. My wife, Margaret, and I enjoy visiting presidential libraries. While visiting the George H. W. Bush museum, we read a story about the actions of Vice President George H. W. Bush the day President Ronald Reagan was shot in 1981. Bush said that when he got the news, the enormity of the incident came upon him, and right then he prayed for the president.

While Reagan was in surgery, Bush was really the acting executive of the country, but he deliberately backed off to make sure that he didn’t appear to challenge or displace the president. For example, when Bush went to the White House, he refused to land on the south lawn, because by tradition only the president lands there. And at seven o’clock that night when Bush presided over an emergency cabinet meeting, he sat in his normal seat, not in the president’s.

Reagan, of course, recovered and resumed his duties, and also went on to be reelected as president in 1984. Bush was content to stay in the background, serving his leader and his country—until the time was right and he ran for office. And the American people elected him as their leader.

A wise person moves forward cautiously when he knows he has to enter a minefield. If you work for a bad leader, whether you know it or not, you’re entering a minefield every day. Even if your boss is a bad leader with a good heart, you’re still in a minefield. If you have a bad leader whose motives are also bad, you have twice as many landmines to avoid. Still, try to keep moving forward. Just use common sense, keep building your relationship with your boss, and try to remain positive.