12 Christmas

THE WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS WERE strange ones for Esther. At school everyone chattered about the coming holiday and the presents they hoped for. Bethany shared sugar-sprinkled Christmas cookies with her. And Mrs. Davies was reading them a thrilling book called A Christmas Carol. But at home there was hardly any mention of the holiday. Ma, when she talked at all, talked about how the hens were laying fewer eggs, and how fast the supplies were going.

“You will need to bring more wood from the woodpile again,” Ma told Pa one cold morning a week into December. She had just carried in the last of the wood stored on the porch.

Pa nodded and set a crock of milk on the table as he did every morning. “Even Daisy is giving less milk now,” he said, blowing on his cold fingers.

“Take that back then and sell it with the rest,” Ma said. “If we do without for a few days, we can buy more flour. We are nearly out.”

“The children need milk,” Pa protested.

“They need bread more,” Ma said, and Pa had to agree.

Fewer eggs meant an end to the hard-boiled eggs Esther and Violet and Walter usually took in their lunches. Less flour meant one slice of jam-covered bread instead of two. A few children at school had even less. Most had more. Still, Esther didn’t worry. They might have to scrimp, but Ma and Pa would take care of them. It didn’t promise to be much of a Christmas, though.

One morning, Esther went out to do her chores and discovered snow had fallen in the night. “Ohhh . . . ,” she whispered, staring at the scene before her. White, white, everywhere white. And above everything was a sky of such a brilliant blue it almost hurt to look at it. It was all so beautiful, Esther’s throat ached as if she were going to cry.

Then Mickey came running. His coat was covered with snow. When he stopped on the steps in front of Esther, he shook himself and the cold wetness flew at her. She sputtered with laughter.

After breakfast, the children bundled up well and were ready to leave when Ma said, “Wait.” Esther saw her look out the frost-edged window toward the barn. “All right. Yes. You can go now.”

Esther and Violet were baffled by Ma’s odd behavior. They raised their eyebrows at each other as they stepped out onto the porch. Then they stopped. What was that tinkling, jingling sound?

“Santa Claus!” Walter shrieked, hurtling past the girls.

“Pa!” Esther and Violet chorused as Pa came driving up, not in the buggy or the wagon but in a big old-fashioned sleigh. Esther clapped her mittened hands in delight. Then she jumped into the sleigh and snuggled under one of the blankets Pa had put there.

“It is much colder today,” Pa said, “so you get to ride.”

“I saw this sleigh a hundred times in the corner of the barn,” Esther marveled. “But I thought it was a broken wagon because I couldn’t see any wheels.” She laughed and Violet and Pa joined her. Then she sat back and sighed happily. “I never, ever imagined riding to school in a sleigh.” She couldn’t wait to tell Julia.

It was the first of many sleigh rides to and from school. But that first ride was the best one, the one Esther would always remember. Such a smooth, free feeling it was to glide over the snow. Not like the bouncy buggy or the bumpy wagon. No, this was like flying. And in the background there was the steady jring-jring-jring of the bells on Fritz and Bruno’s harness.

On the way home from school each day, Pa stopped at the mailbox and Esther hopped out to get the mail. There was usually something, if only a few circulars. But one afternoon a few days before Christmas, the box was empty. Esther was disappointed. She’d hoped for a letter from Julia. When she entered the kitchen a few minutes later, though, she saw a little stack of mail on the table.

“How come the mail wasn’t in the box?” Esther asked, sorting through the envelopes. Oh, good! There was a letter from Julia after all.

Ma had been knitting. When the door opened, she jumped up and stuffed her knitting into an empty flour sack. “The postman had to deliver something that did not fit in the box,” she explained, coming into the kitchen.

“A package?” Esther asked. She and Violet had just been wondering if Julia and Kate would send presents. They couldn’t come for Christmas because the weather was too uncertain. They might get caught in a snowstorm. It was the first Christmas the family would not be all together and Esther could hardly even imagine it. She thought presents might help ease her sadness, though.

But Ma shook her head. “Catalogs.”

“The new Sears Roebuck catalog?” Violet asked eagerly.

“No, no. Just seed and fertilizer catalogs for Pa,” Ma said.

Violet and Esther exchanged looks of disappointment. Meanwhile, Walter took a crumpled paper star from his pocket and tried to smooth it. “Look, Ma,” he said. “The Christmas star. It goes on top of the tree. But where is our tree?”

Ma shook her head. “I know nothing about trees. Esther, go into the cellar and get me three potatoes.”

“Yes, Ma.” Esther tucked her letter into her spelling book. Then she opened the cellar door and climbed down the short ladder. Brrrr! It was cold. Dark, too, except for the light that spilled down from the kitchen. It took Esther’s eyes a few moments to adjust and see into the shadowy corners. Ah, there was the potato bin. It was not nearly as full as it had been in October, though.

Esther looked at the bushel baskets of vegetables lined up along the dirt walls. Some were almost empty. None were more than half full. Her eyes skipped to the shelves on the walls. Jars of fruits and vegetables had once crowded those shelves. Now there were many empty spaces. But many months of winter were yet to come. Would there be enough food? Esther felt a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature. Quickly, she chose three potatoes and left the cellar.

“Here, Ma,” she said, setting the potatoes in the sink. Then she closed the cellar door and hurried up to her room to read Julia’s letter. But it didn’t cheer her as she had hoped. Julia’s hours at the telephone company had been cut, so she’d be earning less money. Kate had been sick with influenza but was better now.

We all wish there was some way we could be together for the holiday, Julia’s letter concluded. It won’t seem like Christmas without you and the rest of the family.

Esther sighed. It would have been so wonderful to see her sisters again—and to finally meet her little nephew. She pulled her thin sweater tighter and shivered. Even though Pa had cut holes in the floor to let more heat up from the parlor, it was so cold, she could see her breath in the air. She set the letter on Margaret’s lap and went downstairs where it was warmer.

On the last day of school before Christmas, Miss Larson and Mrs. Davies gave every one of their students a gingerbread man cookie with raisin eyes. Esther tucked hers safely in her lunch pail so it wouldn’t get broken. But Walter was barely settled in the sleigh before he bit off the head of his cookie. Esther tried not to listen to his contented crunching. Violet ate her gingerbread man slowly, rolling her eyes heavenward after each tiny bite. Esther had to look away. She concentrated instead on Pa’s breaths floating toward her on the icy air in cloud-like puffs. She would not give in to temptation. She would not. She had something very special in mind for her treat.

When they arrived home, Esther sprang from the sleigh as soon as it stopped, and raced ahead of Violet and Walter. She found Ma at the kitchen table, cutting carrots into tiny pieces for stew. When she saw Esther, Ma smiled, but she asked, “Where are your brother and sister?”

“They’re coming,” Esther answered, wishing that Ma could be happy to see Esther without wanting Walter and Violet. Wasn’t Esther alone special enough? Already Ma’s eyes had gone back to the straggly carrot she was chopping. But Esther was about to change that.

She walked quickly to the table. “Here, Ma,” she said, thrusting her cookie between Ma and the carrot. “Mrs. Davies gave this to me, but I want you to have it.”

Ma’s eyebrows went up. She smiled kindly at Esther, but she shook her head. “That is your treat, Esther. You must keep it.”

“I want you to have it,” Esther insisted. “It’s my Christmas gift to you.”

Ma looked at Esther for a long moment. Finally she nodded. “Thank you, Esther. You are a good-hearted girl.” She tucked the cookie in her apron pocket. “The whole family will enjoy this treat on Christmas.”

Esther was warmed by Ma’s praise. She was less happy about Ma’s plan to share the treat Esther had given her—Esther’s treat—with Walter and Violet, who were at that very moment enjoying theirs. Still, she managed to smile at Ma.

The next day was Christmas Eve, but chores had to be done as usual. After breakfast, Ma even assigned a few extra. She sent Violet and Walter to carry wood to the porch. And she told Esther to clean the kerosene lanterns. Much as Esther disliked the tedious task, that day she made it fun. She pretended she was a good fairy turning ordinary glass into shining diamonds.

After lunch, Pa disappeared. A little while later there was a thumping on the side porch and the parlor door banged open. The top of a fir tree plunged into the room.

“A Christmas tree!” Walter shrieked, leaping up from the floor where he’d been playing.

“Oh, Pa, it’s beautiful!” Esther said.

“I knew Pa wouldn’t let us have Christmas without a tree,” Violet declared, clapping her hands.

Pa smiled at their excitement. “Now where is that star, Walter?” he asked, carrying the tree all the way inside and shutting the door with his foot to keep the cold out.

Walter ran for the star. Ma brought out the box of red and silver balls. Soon everyone was crowded around the tree, hanging the pretty ornaments on its branches. When the last ball was hung, Pa lifted Walter so he could perch the star on top.

“Now it feels like Christmas!” Esther said. Of course, there were no presents to put beneath the pretty fir. There were no cookies cooling in the kitchen. There was no turkey for the dinner, and no family was expected. Still, the tree was a reminder that it really was Christmas, even if it was a much poorer one than usual.

Ma suddenly noticed the time. “Nu!” she said. “It is getting late. We must hurry with our baths.”

Esther ran for the tub. Special evening services were being held at church and it wouldn’t do to be late. But Ma need not have worried. They arrived in plenty of time.

“Oh, look!” Esther whispered when they walked in the front door. “Candles!” They were everywhere, flickering in windows and all around the pulpit. They cast an almost magical glow over the church.

When Reverend Phillips read the Christmas story, Esther felt a thrill she’d never felt before. Up until then, when she thought of Jesus, she thought of him as a man in a white robe, working miracles. That night, for the first time, she thought of him as a real baby—like Henry Christian. She imagined him crying and being comforted by Mary. And she pictured Jesus as a little boy, following Joseph around just like Walter followed Pa. That Christmas Eve, in that little country church, Jesus became real to Esther.

“Merry Christmas!” everyone called to one another afterward. “Merry Christmas!” The joy-filled greeting seemed to float and echo on the crisp night air, following them all the way home.

When they got to the farm, Pa carried a sleepy Walter upstairs. Ma gave the girls each a towel-wrapped brick that had been warming in the oven. Then she shooed them up to bed, too. It was late. Esther undressed and got under the covers, stretched cold toes toward the brick’s heat, and drifted off to sleep.

• • •

“Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!” It was Pa’s voice.

Esther and Violet sat up, blinking sleepily at each other. Then Walter shot out of his room. Esther jumped up and Violet pounded down the stairs after them both. Halfway down, Esther smelled something she hadn’t smelled in a long time. Bacon! Her mouth watered.

“Presents!” she heard Walter yell. “Santa came! Santa came!”

Esther flew down the last stairs to the parlor. She sucked in a breath. Walter was right! Last night the floor beneath the tree had been bare. Now several gaily wrapped packages were there. Esther’s heart thudded with anticipation. “Can we open them?” she asked.

“Open, open!” Pa said, waving his hands and smiling. Ma came out of the kitchen to watch as Esther and Violet and Walter knelt by the tree.

“To Esther from Julia,” Esther read one tag. She tore open the paper. A book! On the shiny jacket was a picture of a pretty young woman dressed in blue and carrying a clock under her arm. “The Secret of the Old Clock!” Esther told Violet. “It’s a mystery book, like the Hardy Boys book Shirley lent me.” Inside the cover Julia had written, This Nancy Drew series is brand-new and supposed to be very good. Merry Christmas! Love, Julia.

Violet was too excited about her sketch pad and drawing pencils to do more than nod at Esther. Walter was roaring a red truck across the floor. But there were two more presents for Esther to open. Two pretty pink barrettes were from Kate and Howard. And a red, hand-knitted sweater was from Ma and Pa.

“It’s beautiful! Thank you, Ma. Thank you, Pa.” Esther put down her barrettes and book long enough to slip her arms into the sleeves of the sweater. “Ooooh,” she said. “It’s nice and warm!”

Esther took a moment to admire the truck Julia had sent to Walter, the tiny train set he’d gotten from Kate and Howard, and the wood farm animals that Santa had brought him. He and Violet had both gotten new sweaters, too. Walter’s was brown and Violet’s was green. And, just like Esther, Violet had pretty new barrettes. Only hers were sky blue.

“Breakfast,” Ma announced, and everyone hurried to the table for potato pancakes with raspberry jam and two strips of bacon each. Esther couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a breakfast! She ate and ate until her stomach was too full for even one more bite.

After breakfast there were chores to do. The animals had to be fed and the cows had to be milked even on Christmas. But afterward Pa played old maid and rummy and go fish with Esther and Violet and Walter, so the morning flew by. A bowl of soup for lunch was just right. Everyone was still full from breakfast, and good smells were already wafting from the stove, promising even better things for supper.

The afternoon was quieter. Pa played checkers with Walter, whistling softly all the while. Violet tried out her sketch pad and pencils. Esther curled up with her mystery story. First, she looked at the exciting black-and-white picture at the front of the book. Then she turned to chapter 1, promising herself to read very slowly so the story would not end too soon.

Dinner was simple compared with past Christmas dinners, but it was a feast to them. Roast chicken with onion stuffing, carrots, potatoes, and biscuits. They ate every morsel. Ma didn’t have enough flour to bake a pie or a cake for dessert, but she brought out a special gift from Kate and Howard and little Henry. A small box of chocolate-covered cherries! Esther bit a tiny hole in the side of hers and sucked out the cream filling first. Then she sucked on the chocolate. Last of all she ate the cherry.

“Wonderful, Anna.” Pa patted his stomach. “A delicious dinner.”

Esther and the others nodded. “Delicious, Ma.”

Ma’s cheeks turned pink. She jumped up to clear the table.

That night they played rummy again, and this time Ma played with them. She won even more often than Pa! Finally Pa put away the cards to sing Christmas carols in German. “O Tannenbaum” was Esther’s favorite. She sang along on the words she knew and hummed on the ones she didn’t.

Midway through the singing, Ma went to the kitchen. When she returned, she was carrying the gingerbread man Esther had given her. Esther had forgotten all about it! Ma gave the cookie to Pa and he broke off an arm for Walter and the other one for Violet. Then he broke off a leg for himself and for Ma. Seeing the looks of delight on her brother’s and sister’s faces made Esther glad that Ma was sharing her treat. Finally, Pa handed the biggest piece of all—the head and body—to Esther. “For the little girl who remembered that Christmas is about sharing with the ones you love,” he said.

Ma nodded her agreement, and the pride on her and Pa’s faces was like one last and very special gift of the day.

Esther curled up on one end of the sofa to eat her cookie and listen to Pa sing Christmas carols in German. The gingerbread was as sweet to Esther’s tongue as Pa’s voice was to her ears. She sighed contentedly and wished Christmas Day never had to end.