‘Oh, do hurry, Jack. We shouldn’t even be here. Look, she’ll be back soon, and if she finds us in her room, I’m sure she’ll be absolutely furious with us …’
Jack spared his younger sister a scornful glance. ‘I’m not scared of her. She’s only a servant.’
Esme was 8, and she thought her older brother was the bravest person in the world, but breaking into the new governess’s bedroom seemed more foolhardy than anything else. ‘Please, Jack. Let’s just go. Look, Peter’s getting frightened.’
Their brother, who was only 5, was looking about the dimly lit bedroom with great interest. ‘Boop,’ he said. For some reason it was the only word he ever said.
‘Look,’ said Jack, peering under the tidily made bed. ‘We agreed, didn’t we? This new governess needs investigating. There’s clearly something fishy about her, and none of the grown-ups will listen to a word we say.’
‘Father thinks she’s wonderful. Even Mrs Monk says she’s a boon to the household.’
‘But we know there’s something decidedly queer going on, don’t we?’
‘I suppose so …’
‘And we need to get to the bottom of it, don’t we?’
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘See? Peter agrees with me. Now, stand back. I’m going to open her wardrobe.’
‘Oh, Jack … do you think that’s wise? We can’t go poking around in all her things …’
‘I think we must!’ said Jack, trying to sound more determined than he secretly felt. Before he could change his mind, he threw open both doors of the vast, dark, Victorian wardrobe.
And that’s when the children came face to face with Teddy Sparkles for the first time.
‘Hello, there!’ boomed Teddy. ‘Who are you?’
It had all begun several weeks ago, with the mysterious disappearance of the children’s former governess, Miss Pratt. There were some dark mutterings from the servants that she had taken off with a greengrocer called Bernard and it was all a great scandal, but something about the matter made the children feel rather suspicious.
‘Miss Pratt was devoted to us,’ Jack mused. ‘She simply wouldn’t go running off with a grocer. At least, not without saying goodbye to us first.’
Peter agreed tearfully: ‘Boop.’
‘But whatever could have happened?’ Esme asked. ‘Our new governess appeared on our doorstep the very same day that Miss Pratt vanished without a trace,’ Jack whispered. ‘Doesn’t that seem a bit convenient to you?’
Esme’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Do you really think she might have done something to … get rid of Miss Pratt?’
Jack nodded with great solemnity. ‘I believe that Missy is capable of absolutely anything.’
‘Ha! You’re quite right there!’ bellowed Teddy Sparkles. ‘She’s completely ruthless!’
The three children tried to shush him, but the small, golden bear couldn’t seem to control his volume at all.
‘But Teddy Sparkles,’ said Esme. ‘Aren’t you Missy’s best friend and confidante? Why, we listened at her door, very late each night for the past week, and we have heard you talking to her. We couldn’t make out exactly what you were discussing, but you sounded ever so thick with each other.’
‘She’s no friend of mine, that awful woman!’ Teddy shrieked. ‘Crikey, no!’
Jack frowned at the bear’s intemperate tone. The new governess might be under suspicion, but she was still a lady, after all. ‘See here, Teddy – um – Sparkles. How is it that you’re alive anyway? How on earth are you able to hold a conversation with us?’
‘Aha,’ cried Teddy Sparkles, jumping up from the floor of the wardrobe and executing a rather showy pirouette. ‘I wondered when you’d ask!’ He tightened his golden cravat and his topaz eyes glimmered with joy. ‘I’m not any ordinary little bear. Oh, no, not I! I’m Teddy Sparkles! I’m magical, I am.’
‘I see,’ said Jack.
‘Boop!’ said Peter.
‘Magical?’ gasped Esme.
‘I can grant wishes,’ said Teddy Sparkles, trying to hurry them up. ‘You know the kind of thing. We can go on lots of lovely magical adventures together. You can ask for anything you like and it’ll all be marvellous, you’ll see.’
‘Goodness!’ said Esme.
‘But you must do something for me in return,’ said the small bear.
‘What’s that?’ asked Jack, narrowing his eyes.
The next morning, bright and early, the three children were at their desks in the schoolroom.
The door flew open and Missy came in like a waltzing panther, completely ignoring her charges and going straight to the tall windows that looked down onto the park.
‘I do love the spring. Oh, look. A little bird. What kind of a bird is that, children?’
The children moved closer as Missy threw open the sash window.
Jack began, ‘I think it’s a—’
‘Dead bird!’ Green lightning burst from Missy’s cameo brooch and sizzled the songbird on the spot. One second it was sitting on a branch singing a gay little tune, the next it was a shower of ashes. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Missy sighed. ‘I hate birds. Nasty, squeaking things. Like children, really. I hate children as well, did I warn you about that?’
Esme shrank back, clutching hold of Peter as the new governess rounded on them.
‘Boop,’ said Peter, with some consternation.
‘I especially hate nasty, sneaky, awful children who go creeping about in the boudoirs of lovely ladies behind their backs.’
Esme bit the inside of her cheeks hard to prevent herself squealing with terror. She stared at the killer cameo brooch on the high neck of Missy’s sprigged cotton frock. She could frazzle them all to death in an instant: Esme didn’t doubt it.
‘You don’t scare us,’ said Jack. ‘You’re a monster. My father will hear all about you and the way you behave. We know what you’ve done.’
‘Oh, yes?’ Missy turned away abruptly, picked up a piece of chalk, and proceeded to write a whole series of unimaginably rude words on the board.
‘My father will dismiss you from our household. You aren’t fit to look after children.’
Missy turned back and snarled. ‘I’m ten times the woman your previous governess is. Twenty times! A hundred times!’
Jack gasped. ‘That isn’t true!’
‘Oh?’ Missy stuck out her tongue and crossed the room to the cupboard where supplies of exercise books and pencils were usually kept. ‘Look here, then.’
Missy lifted out a wooden box and opened its lid. The children gasped. Miss Pratt was lying crumpled inside, a mere ten inches tall and quite dead.
‘See?’ Missy sighed. ‘She’s neither use nor ornament now, is she? The silly, stubborn woman. You should be glad you’ve now got a teacher who can show you things your precious Miss Pratt could never even dream of. A teacher who can unveil all the secrets of the universe to you. Look, I’ll pop her back in the box, shall I? And then you can go back to your desks … and perhaps then you’d like to explain to me … just what on earth you’ve done with Teddy Sparkles …?’
‘She is an utterly wicked and nasty person, and for several awful months I was her prisoner,’ said Teddy Sparkles dolefully. ‘Even with my amazing magical powers I was helpless. She took me away from my family and friends, and I fear I shall never see my wonderful home ever again!’
‘Oh, dear, I’m frightfully sorry to hear that, Teddy Sparkles!’ said Esme. ‘But please stop crying so loudly, do!’
The children were crouched behind a jagged lip of grey rock and they were in the midst of a terrifying adventure. It was quite dark and they were each wearing rather cumbersome outfits with glass helmets.
Jack nudged his sister crossly. ‘Can’t you make that bear be quiet? He’s going to get us killed.’
‘Boop!’ added Peter.
Esme took hold of the small bear and tried to hug him, but he wriggled as he wailed and soon he floated free of her grasp.
‘Oh no!’ she yelled. ‘Teddy Sparkles!’
‘Oooooh!’ came the cries of the small, yellow bear as he drifted above their heads into the starry night sky. ‘I really don’t like zero gravity at all. It feels horrid!’
Jack pulled a face at Esme. ‘This is your fault,’ he said snappishly. ‘It was your idea to wish for an adventure on the Moon.’
Now Esme felt like bursting into tears. ‘I thought it would be exciting.’
‘I’m sure it will be terribly exciting,’ hissed her brother, ‘when those Moon Men spy Teddy Sparkles floating above their heads, as they are bound to do at any moment …’
Just then there was a great hullaballoo down in the dusty crater because the Moon Men had, right at that very moment, spotted the bear turning cartwheels above their heads and heard his shouting: ‘Oooooh! I say …!’
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘Oh, this is an awful magical adventure,’ said Esme. ‘I wish I’d never suggested we learned the secrets of the Moon Men. They look absolutely horrible with their shaggy green fur and their eyes out on stalks like that. I hope we won’t have to meet them.’
‘I believe we have no choice,’ gasped Jack. ‘Look! They’ve noticed us standing here at the craggy lip of the crater! We’re rather conspicuous in these copper-and-bronze space outfits that Teddy Sparkles magicked up for us.’
‘Oh no! I do believe those hideous Moon Men are coming over here towards us with their savage-looking weapons!’ Esme clutched her brother, and he put a consoling arm about her. ‘Oh, dash it all. We need Teddy Sparkles to use his magic to take us home again!’
But right at that particular moment, Teddy Sparkles was no use to them at all. He was still turning over and over through the airless void. His frightened, booming cries had subsided now as he started to enjoy himself. ‘Oho!’ he bellowed. ‘It’s actually a pleasant sensation, this! Look at me!’
Jack frowned inside his magic space helmet. ‘We’re rather busy, Teddy Sparkles. We’re about to be rudely attacked by vicious Moon Men.’
Esme squeezed her eyes shut. They were doubtless to die horrible deaths on the Moon, and no one would ever learn what had become of them. She wished her hardest and fiercest for salvation …
And help came their way, right at that very moment.
‘Boop!’ shouted Peter.
‘MISSY!’ Jack cried delightedly.
Esme opened her eyes to see their new governess arriving on the Moon.
‘Good morning, you horrible, vile, detestable children. And who exactly gave you permission to go gallivanting about on the Moon today?’
She was drifting down from the stars with her sturdy umbrella unfurled. She floated as if gravity and airlessness had no meaning to her whatsoever. She looked mildly irked by the danger her charges had got themselves into, but hardly surprised at all.
The Moon Men came thundering up the side of the crater, waving their axes and scimitars about. They roared bloodthirstily and Missy sighed.
‘Awful people,’ she said, and then eradicated them on the spot with her deadly lipstick.
The children stared dumbstruck at the empty patch of airless void where the Moon Men had been.
‘Now,’ said Missy. ‘What have I told you children about sneaking off on silly, hare-brained jaunts with that naughty Teddy Sparkles, hmm? One of these days that tiny, stuffing-filled fool is going to get you all killed, and then what am I going to tell your father and Mrs Monk the Housekeeper?’
Jack and his sister hung their heads. ‘We don’t know, Missy.’
‘Boop,’ added Peter.
‘Well, I hope you’ve all had a dreadful scare and that it’s made you see sense at last. This is all your own fault for stealing Teddy Sparkles from my wardrobe and giving in to his ridiculous suggestions for adventures you can share together.’
‘But we like adventures!’ cried Jack. ‘Even scary ones with Moon Men …’
Missy sighed. ‘That’s exactly what you said when Teddy Sparkles granted your wish to visit the Centre of the Earth last Tuesday. And just look what happened there!’
Esme shuddered. It had been absolutely terrifying, what with the savage, flesh-eating lizard people and the exploding volcanoes and all. If it hadn’t been for Missy arriving just in the nick of time aboard that amazing giant Robotic Badger, they’d have been goners for sure.
‘And what thanks do I get?’ said Missy, pretending to weep. ‘Insubordinate children. Inattentive children. Impolite children.’
‘We’re very sorry, Missy,’ said Jack. ‘We’re sorry for sloping off to have magical adventures at the Earth’s Core and on the Moon.’
‘Also Mars,’ she snapped. ‘You made me travel all the way to Mars as well, didn’t you? Just to rescue you from the palace of that ridiculous lobster king, or whatever he was. I had to wrestle a giant octopus in the royal arena, just to save your skins. It completely ruined my weekend, all that.’ She looked down at her dark velvet coat and pulled a face. ‘And now I’m covered in Moon Dust, too.’
‘Boop,’ said Peter sympathetically.
‘Well, time to return home. Take my hand, Jack, and your sister’s, and someone take hold of that horrid infant …’
‘Wait!’ said Esme. ‘What about Teddy Sparkles?’
The bear was still spinning slowly above the Moon’s surface, drifting further and further away. He was whooping madly, seemingly quite content to bob about in space for ever.
‘I’ve a good mind to abandon that wretched creature where he is,’ said Missy tightly. ‘But I still have need of him. I hope you children have learned your lessons, after these jaunts of yours around the place. You must be very careful what you wish for, when it comes to Teddy Sparkles and his magical wishes.’
‘We’ll be much more careful in future,’ Jack promised solemnly.
‘Oh, I’m sure you will,’ Missy smiled. ‘In fact, I think it will be for the best if, for your next wishes, you do exactly as I bid …’
The children glanced at each other worriedly. There was something rather dark and frightening about their governess’s tone of voice.
Just then, as she tightened her grip, came Teddy Sparkles’ voice from the void: ‘I say! I’m getting rather dizzy up here! Is it time for supper yet?’
Teddy Sparkles was looking crumpled and defeated. ‘I’ve tried my level best!’ he boomed. ‘Those were fantastic adventures I sent the children on …’
Missy pulled a doubtful face, then went whirling about the schoolroom. ‘I can’t agree, I’m afraid. La, la, la.’
The children sat at their desks, feeling rather gloomy.
‘Boop,’ said Peter, disconsolate.
Outside there was September rain, drumming at the window and all over the Square outside, where the trees were turning orange and brown.
‘The seasons are changing and it’s time I was off,’ said Missy. ‘That’s how it goes, I’m afraid, children. You have to make the best of me while you can.’
All three children were absolutely terrified of her, but there had been good points about her time with them, too. For example, the way she had rescued them after each of their trips with Teddy Sparkles had gone a bit wrong. Also, she read to them each night, and entertained them with the most wonderful stories about magical beasts in other lands. The books she read from were quite odd and certainly not available in any bookshops in London.
‘We will miss you, Missy,’ said Jack, somewhat stiffly.
‘Will you, dearie?’ she smiled and raised a quizzical brow. ‘One day, you know, I might come back. One day when you least expect it.’
Some of the sparkle was returning to Teddy’s golden fur at the news of her imminent departure. ‘You’re really going to leave us? So we can have fun in peace?’
She scowled at him. ‘You …! Why, sometimes I wish I’d never kidnapped you from that silly little Planet of the Bears where I found you. You’ve been far too much bother.’
Teddy Sparkles looked almost pleased by this.
‘But there is something you can do to make amends before I go,’ said Missy airily. ‘You can grant these children new wishes. Proper wishes. Sensible wishes.’ She whirled about and glared at the children. ‘And you three must wish for proper, sensible things, too.’
‘But what?’ frowned Esme.
Missy said: ‘How about a bit of ambition, eh? What about wishing to become … ooh, I don’t know … let’s see … the Head of the Secret Service, eh? Or Chair of NATO? Or perhaps … the CEO of Galactico Chemicals?’
Jack, Esme and Peter all stared at her.
‘We don’t know what those things are,’ said Jack.
Missy rolled her eyes. ‘Well, of course you don’t. Not yet. But I’m thinking about the future and these are future things. They represent future security and success. You’re very lucky to have me here to impart my future knowledge to you.’
‘You’re right, thank you, Missy,’ said Esme. ‘We’ll take your advice and wish to become those very things. Whatever they are.’
‘Jolly good,’ said Missy, opening her carpet bag and throwing into it anything of value she could lay her hands on.
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘Is this really a good idea?’ hissed Jack. ‘We don’t know what any of those things are. NATO, and so on. It sounds all a bit queer.’
Teddy Sparkles coughed to draw attention to himself. He was glittering with magical energy, just as he always did, right before granting wishes.
‘I bet that stupid alien bear can’t even get the spell right anyway,’ Missy sighed. ‘His kind are supposed to manipulate the timelines and everything, but I bet he can’t create the futures for you three that I’ve suggested …’
‘Oh, but I can!’ shouted Teddy Sparkles crossly. ‘How dare you underestimate me, Missy! How dare you put me down! Look, here! I’m doing magic now! I’m granting those wishes RIGHT NOW!’
It was true, there was a very odd trembling in the air, rather as if invisible lines of force and influence stretching way into the future were activating and shimmering and obeying his mysterious will. Esme found herself growing rather frightened as the very air took on a golden hue.
Missy snapped her carpet bag shut and announced, ‘Well, I’ll be off, then. I’ll see you all later. Much later, I hope.’
And with no more ado, she swept out of the schoolroom.
The children listened for her slamming out of the front door and marching out into the street. But instead she went back upstairs to her room, climbed inside her vast, Victorian wardrobe and shut the doors behind her. Then there was the most extraordinary noise, and after that silence fell in the attic of their house in Queen Square.
Missy had vanished from their lives.
‘Good!’ Teddy Sparkles bellowed. ‘She’s a dreadful woman!’ Then a thought seemed to strike him. ‘But if she’s gone … then I’ll never get home! I’ll never get back to Ursino Six! I’m stuck here … in a world of human beings …!’
The magic faded abruptly from the room, and the three children hurried to gather round the little bear in order to comfort him.
Several decades went by. War years. Terrible years for London.
Bombs were dropped by the enemy, even on the fancier districts. Great houses were destroyed as well as much humbler ones. Vast armies of children were sent out to the countryside, to new homes, far away from danger, it was hoped.
The children grew up.
The house in Queen Square still stood, and the family retained ownership, even as the children moved away, into their own lives. Their father grew old and fussy, looked after by his serving staff. He complained that no one ever came to visit him.
The children forgot. Life after the war was tough and complicated. They had careers to build. Families of their own to raise. Gradually they came to take up positions in the adult world. Important positions. Powerful positions.
And the strange events of that particular summer – when Jack was 10, Esme was 8, and Peter was 5 – faded away from their minds completely. Perhaps some lingering enchantment rinsed through their memories, reducing their adventures to mere echoes of stories told to them once upon a time by a peculiar stand-in governess who came, briefly, to stay.
The children grew into their thirties and then their forties. Their own children started growing up to question the world and the order of things. They came to visit their tetchy grandfather in Queen Square, and they loved the dusty, antiquated mausoleum where he lived. By the early 1960s hardly anyone lived in places like that. Houses such as his had been carved up into flats. The grandchildren themselves – four of them: Lucy, Dinah, Eric and John – all lived in modern, comfortable homes in the suburbs. But the cousins loved going to visit Queen Square whenever they could, especially at Christmas, when the ancient cook laid on a marvellous feast, and told them stories about the old days.
Christmas Eve 1962 saw all the children and grandchildren converge upon the old townhouse. It was snowing in London, and the whole day had been dark since lunchtime.
Eric – who was youngest and most fanciful of all the cousins – said it was the kind of day that magic might happen. The others scoffed at him, but Eric was sensitive. He was alert to things that everyone else in his family had seemingly forgotten.
It was Eric who was looking up into the drifting snow, on the pavement outside the house, and it was Eric who spied the woman falling out of the sky.
‘The what?’ John laughed, and called his cousins outside so they could all laugh at Eric’s latest ridiculous notion.
‘It’s true!’ yelled Eric. ‘Just look! Look up there! It’s a woman! With an umbrella! Dressed so old-fashioned in a duster coat and a little hat with flowers on … Can’t you see …?’
She was drifting down through the snowy darkness to land on the pavement beside them. The children stared at her in wonder.
‘Hello,’ she said, lips prim and eyes piercing. ‘I imagine your parents must have told you all about me?’
Missy asked that the whole family be gathered in the drawing room of the old house. Once they were all sat before her – some of the older ones wearing amazed expressions – she smiled broadly.
‘Hello, again everyone. Don’t I look magnificent? I haven’t changed a bit, have I?’
Esme was aghast. ‘You … You really haven’t …!’
Her husband – a corpulent man called Alan – spluttered: ‘Look, who the devil is this woman?’ He glared round at his wife’s family. ‘What’s the matter with you all?’ They had always been a strange bunch. Rich and powerful, of course, but strange all the same.
‘Not now, Alan.’ Jack – who had become rather gruff and looked very like his father these days – decided to take charge. ‘Look here, Missy. What is it you want with us? Tell us your business and then leave us in peace.’
The old man by the fire was struggling to concentrate on what was going on. He glowered at Missy. ‘Isn’t that one of the servants?’
Missy sighed happily. ‘Now, don’t rush to be rid of me again, children. I’ve come back to see how you are. You’ve all been terribly successful, haven’t you? You’ve all done very well for yourselves, hmm? And you all know, don’t you, that it’s only down to one person …’ She simpered. ‘Me.’
Peter’s wife was scared, clutching his arm. ‘What’s going on, Peter? Who is this person? What does she mean?’
Absentmindedly Missy took out her lipstick and adjusted the setting. She wondered about blasting one of the children’s spouses into nothingness. Just for the thrill of it. Just to focus their attention a little. She pointed the deadly lipstick at Peter’s wife and it hummed menacingly.
‘Don’t you dare vaporise anyone,’ said Jack warningly.
‘You do remember then,’ said Missy. ‘You remember your old governess and what she can do, don’t you?’
All the blood had rushed out of Esme’s face. Oh God, she thought. It wasn’t just some childish game we used to play; Miss Pratt really had been shrunk to the size of a doll, and the adventures we shared, they … they were all real. She looked at the others and their children. We knew the whole time that we were deliberately not talking about Missy. We reaped the rewards and benefits of the things she made us wish for, all the while pretending that it was just a silly game.
But Missy was real, and now here she was, back again.
Esme took a step forward and made her voice level and brave and professional-sounding, as befitted the CEO of Galactico Chemicals. ‘What do you want from us?’
‘I think it’s time for some payback,’ said Missy crisply. ‘And, to that end, what I’d like very much is if you combined all your power and influence, and arranged things nicely for me. What I’d really like is enough super-duper weapons and bombs and stuff like that in order to take over the entire world. All right?’
Everyone in the drawing room gazed at her as if she was bananas.
‘That’s right, I am,’ she grinned. ‘Bananas. And you’re going to help me take over the entire world, aren’t you?’
Up in the attic of the house in Queen Square, Teddy Sparkles was absolutely furious.
Though his powers were diminished he could hear every single word of what was being said downstairs. His magnificent alien brain had detected the arrival of the loathsome Missy as soon as she had manifested in this time zone. He knew she was back, and he knew why.
He would have warned the children and their own children, had he been in a better mood but, quite frankly, after three decades of being locked away in this drab and dusty place, he wasn’t of a mind to help anyone at all.
His fur was lustreless, as were his topaz eyes. His golden sparkles could raise barely a shimmer these days. His toes had been nibbled by squirrels. He had almost given up the will to live.
He would never see Ursino Six again …
But still there was a fleck of hope in his heart. He still had powers. Not magical powers, although they were so amazingly advanced and beyond the ken of human beings that they might as well have been. Like other adepts on his home world, he had astonishing mental abilities that allowed him to see the warp and weft of reality. Like certain other Ursine mystics, he could refashion reality – both past and future – to his own liking. The children he had known here in Queen Square had believed he was granting wishes: it was their way of understanding the immense complexity of what he was actually doing when he cudgelled his brains and focused his will upon the workings of the multiverse …
Teddy Sparkles began to shimmer and glow just then, as he remembered how wonderful his powers had been. Yes, he had altered reality and subsumed it to his mighty thoughts. And – if he tried his very best – he still could! He could make the very cosmos tremble …
The door flew open and one of the children came bustling into the room. No longer a child, Esme was well into middle age now and looked very harassed. He knew at once that she had come searching for him, so he coughed loudly to draw her attention to where he was lying on the nightstand.
‘Oh, Teddy Sparkles! The most dreadful thing has happened …’
The bear did his best to sound reassuring. ‘I know, Esme. I know.’
Her lined face was stained with tears as she clutched him to her bosom. ‘How could you know?’
Teddy Sparkles couldn’t help glowing with pleasure at the sensation of being held and hugged once more. So many years! He had lain here so long, alone, neglected in this attic room that had once belonged to Missy and many servants before her. All through the Blitz and the years of Austerity. He had heard life crashing and booming and murmuring along below him, and everyone, it seemed, had forgotten Teddy Sparkles.
‘Oh, Esme,’ he said, becoming more emotional than he had meant to. ‘How could you just forget about me? How could you leave me here?’
‘I … I don’t know … I’m so sorry …’
‘I fixed everything up, didn’t I? I gave you everything you wished for … You’ve all grown up to be exactly what you wanted to be …’
Her expression darkened. ‘Not really, Teddy. You see, Missy told us to wish for those things, didn’t she? I never wanted to run a chemicals company. And the others … they’re doing jobs they hate too. Oh, we have power and influence, but none of us are happy. It’s all Missy’s doing.’
‘Oh, dear,’ said Teddy Sparkles. ‘None of you are happy?’
Esme dissolved into tears. ‘And now Missy is back … and she’s making the most ghastly demands of us …’
‘There, there,’ said Teddy Sparkles, patting her heaving shoulders with his tiny paws. ‘I will help you. I will do my level best to help …’
‘Ha!’ There came a brutal snort of laughter from the doorway.
Teddy and Esme looked up to see Missy framed there in silhouette.
‘Hello again, Teddy Sparkles,’ she said. ‘I’ve come back to take over the world. What do you think of that?’ She peered more closely at the little bear. ‘You do look a bit shabby, dearie. All the effort maintaining your timeline manipulations has taken its toll on your poor plush.’ And then she cackled threateningly and stared at Esme. ‘The world, please. Hand it over. And be snappy about it.’
The thing was, it was all entirely possible. Missy had thought it all through very cleverly, and it turned out to be all too straightforward for the children to give her what she wanted: the wherewithal and the means to take over the entire world.
‘You could give me an island in the middle of the Baltic Sea, with a secret underground lair!’ she cried, delightedly. ‘And I’d have all the codes and things at my fingertips, for employing the world’s various hideous super-duper weapons and setting them off, at deadly cross-purposes, all over the globe! With access to the resources of Galactico and the knowledge of the Secret Services, I’ll be able to hold the whole world to ransom!’
At this, she began hooting with laughter, and everyone watched in dismay.
‘We can’t let you do this,’ Jack said gruffly. ‘You’ve used us, Missy. We can’t allow you to take over the whole world …’
‘Never!’ gasped Peter. ‘You’d do awful things with it. You’d make slaves of the whole human race …’
‘Yes, I would,’ she agreed. ‘Honestly, you’ve no idea how many times I’ve tried to do this over the years, and met with ignominious failure every time. But this time, that precious Teddy Sparkles has seen to it that my global success is inevitable!’
Everyone looked at Teddy, who hung his head in shame. ‘I did try to warn you all how dreadful she is,’ he sighed.
The children’s father had completely lost his mind in terror. ‘Boop,’ he said.
‘We’re loyal to our country and our planet,’ said Esme bravely. ‘We’d all rather die than give in to your demands.’
‘Oh, really?’ smiled Missy.
‘Let’s not be rash, Esme, dear,’ said Peter. ‘Let’s not get all noble and self-sacrificial before we have to …’
‘What do you mean?’ she snapped.
‘Well, perhaps Missy won’t be quite as bad as you think she’ll be. If she was the sole Mistress of the World, we wouldn’t have any discord or Arms Race or nasty things like the Cuban Missile Crisis, would we?’
‘Exactly!’ Missy shrilled. ‘Because you’d all be subsumed to my superior will!’
Esme gasped. ‘Peter, I can’t believe you’re even considering the idea of helping her take over the world …’
That was when Teddy Sparkles interceded. He was standing beside the children’s father and he was glowing strangely, as if he had managed to gather together the last vestiges of his magic power. ‘No one will take over anything!’ he boomed, in his old, sonorous voice.
‘Teddy …?’ gasped Jack.
Suddenly Missy looked furious. ‘Don’t you dare!’ It was as if she recognised the nature of those waves of elemental power rippling through the air from the little bear’s body. ‘Don’t!’
‘What is he doing?’ gasped Peter.
‘Boop!’ said their father, rocking in his chair.
Suddenly the atmosphere in the room turned quite strange. One moment it was simply the drawing room, with the decorated tree and the cards arranged on top of the blazing mantelpiece, with the whole family arrayed against the interloper. Then the room was swaying and spinning. It felt as if it was pulling itself free from the rest of reality …
‘Mum? Dad …?’ Eric stared wildly at the grown-ups. The other cousins were just as perplexed and horrified by what was going on. One moment all the adults had been shouting impossible things, and now this … The room was bucking and rocking like it had been set afloat on a stormy sea. Eric struggled to the window and drew back the net curtains. The blizzard was coming down thickly now over Queen Square … so thickly they could no longer see the park through the window …
‘It isn’t there any more!’ screamed his cousin, Alice. ‘It isn’t there!’
‘We’re going back!’ boomed the voice of Teddy Sparkles, full of regret. ‘Back and back and back through time …!’
It took a while, and it was a bumpy ride, but Teddy Sparkles managed to rewrite history.
He sent Missy spinning violently away from the Earth with a huge, desperate effort of will. Caught off-guard, she howled in outrage and swore further vengeance on his threadbare head.
Esme felt herself changing … She felt the nature of reality metamorphosing all around her, but above all she felt her own being unravelling. She found her own life reversing and unbecoming …
‘Nooooo!’ she yelled as she regained her distant youth.
All around her, her family members were doing the same. Her husband vanished in a puff of possibility: the same became of her brothers’ wives. Most awful of all, their children simply popped out of existence, as if they had never been born.
Esme wailed in dismay. ‘Noooo, Teddy Sparkles …! What have you done?’
‘I am turning back time!’ he bellowed, through the turbid chaos. ‘I am using my incredible time-engineering talents to give you all another chance!’
Esme wept for her lost family and the life she had known. Perhaps she had hated being head of a global technological empire, and perhaps she felt her life had been unduly influenced by Missy, but she had loved her children, and her husband had been quite bearable.
‘Do you mean …’ cried Jack, ‘that we’ll have to live our lives all over again?’
‘You will get another chance!’ Teddy shouted. ‘Isn’t that wonderful? No one else ever gets an opportunity like this …!’
A furious lightning flash heralded the sudden return of Missy. Teddy Sparkles had managed to keep her at bay for seven crucial minutes, but now she was back in their midst, and snarling.
She spat and swore at Teddy Sparkles. She crossed the swaying room in three strides and picked him up in both taloned hands. ‘I had world domination within my grasp, you horrid little brute!’
‘It’s done. You can’t stop it, now, whatever you do to me.’ He laughed feebly in her face; his time-engineering efforts had wrung him out. ‘We are going back. You will be a servant again, Missy! And this time I will refuse to grant your wishes …!’
His hollow laughter rang inside her head for the rest of the journey back to 1925.
Esme cried out in surprise as they arrived with a sudden bump.
It took a few moments for them to come to their senses. The children stared at each other in wonder.
‘Look at you both,’ Jack said hoarsely. ‘Look at me …’
Esme gasped. ‘We’ve become children again.’
‘All those years,’ whispered Jack. ‘The war and our careers and everything … All for nothing!’
Missy cast him an acidulous glance. ‘I always thought careers were very silly things to have. Such a waste of time. Far better to invent breathtakingly ambitious evil schemes.’
‘Except this one backfired, didn’t it?’ Esme shouted, jumping up, surprised at how much energy she now had. ‘You’ve made an awful hash of this one!’
‘Children?’ called their father, standing up from his chair and looking younger, but utterly confused. ‘What the devil’s going on?’
‘We’re back home, father,’ said Jack. ‘Teddy Sparkles has brought us all back home again to Queen Square, in the right year. Everything is exactly as it was.’
‘Hurrah!’ shouted Teddy Sparkles, and Missy scowled at him.
‘And all our lives in the future … almost forty years … were a complete waste of time,’ sobbed Esme.
Missy shrugged. ‘Most human lives are a waste of time. Trust me. I’ve met some awful, pointless, futile people on this planet. At least you lot get to have another go.’ She sighed and picked up her brolly, and tilted her hat. ‘I suppose I could brainwash you all into causing complete carnage with future Earth history by exploiting your knowledge of all that is to come … But I rather imagine that your future, adult memories are fading away as I speak, aren’t they? Everything’s withering and falling away like a peculiar dream, and so by now you’ve all turned back into a bunch of rather boring children again, haven’t you? Yes, I can tell I’m quite right, as per usual. Ah well. I’ll be off, then.’
‘Wait!’ yelled Jack, who was still staring out of the window. ‘There’s something wrong.’
‘Well, of course there is,’ sighed Missy. ‘My wicked schemes have been spoiled. Round of applause. Well done you. What could be worse than that?’
‘Plenty.’ Jack pointed out of the window. ‘For instance, there’s a fire-breathing dragon in Queen Square.’
‘Are you sitting comfortably, children? Then Missy will tell you the end of this strange story, and how it came to be that poor, dear Teddy Sparkles simply had to die …!
‘There was just no other way, you see, because, in reimagining the past the way he had, and taking us all back there, he had tangled everything up. Silly old Teddy Sparkles had conjured up a 1925 that was infused not just with his memories, but also with the stories he had heard the governess read to the children every night. He had absorbed her tales of dragons and phoenixes and walking scarecrows … and so now London and the whole world was plagued with these peculiar beings … Gorgons and harpies, angels and centaurs. They were everywhere and taking over this reality.
‘“Teddy Sparkles, what have you done?” cried Esme, as the dragons came swarming in the skies over Queen Square, roasting the rooftops with emerald flames.
‘“I’ve done it all wrong!” howled that idiot bear. “I’ve mixed up plain reality with awful whimsy … and now there’s chaos everywhere!”
‘Oh, and children, it was quite true. There were savage, talking tigers bounding into Buckingham Palace and eating up members of the Royal Family. There were elephants with elephant guns in hot air balloons, taking pot-shots at people far below. It was as if these creatures of the imagination were seizing their chance to take revenge upon the humdrum world …
‘And there was I – Missy – forced to become the heroine of the hour, just as I often am in moments like this. Those children begged me. “Oh, Missy, you’re so brave and beautiful. Only you can save the planet!”
‘I listened to their flattery. And I watched the hordes of strange creatures wreaking havoc on 1925. I sat with the children, having tea at the British Museum, one glorious afternoon, and all the mummies had come to life and were dancing a conga out of the section devoted to Ancient Egypt. The café was a very exciting place to be because, as we sipped our tea, we could also see dinosaur skeletons stretching and heaving themselves into life, and doing battle with statues of gods from long ago. It was quite exciting, but also very, very noisy.
‘“No one can rule over this soggy mess.” I shrugged. “I suppose I will just have to help mankind. And to that end, children, I’m afraid Teddy Sparkles will have to die.”
‘“Oh no!” cried Esme, Jack and Peter. Well, Peter actually said “Boop!” of course, but it amounted to the same. “Please, don’t hurt lovely Teddy Sparkles.”
‘He was there with us, the noxious beast. Sitting on our café table and looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. And I was forced to explain once again that he wasn’t just an innocuous-looking stuffed bear covered in glitter. Oh no. He belonged a race of wily reality-engineers from Ursino Six. His furry little paws had tampered with our timelines and only he could set things back on their correct course …
‘“Buy me some cakes and I’ll consider it,” he snapped.
‘“You see, children,” he sighed, as he pretended to eat cream cakes. “It’s rather like when you draw a picture, and get it a bit wrong, and use your eraser to rub out the same aggravatingly wrong bit again and again. You know how the paper will go dirty and eventually tear?” He let a single tear roll down his furry cheek. “That’s how it is with reality, too.”
‘“No, it isn’t,” I snapped. “I’ve messed about with the nature of reality enough to know it’s more robust than that. What he means, children, is that, in setting your world of 1925 back to rights, he will deplete himself of his final stores of psychic energy. He will end up rubbing himself out of existence.” I poured out more tea for us all, and all eyes were on Teddy Sparkles.
‘“She’s quite right,” that troublesome bear quivered.
‘“Teddy Sparkles, you can’t die!” gasped Esme, and the others looked just as concerned.
‘I said briskly, “Sometimes, in cosmic situations like this, then someone has to make a noble self-sacrifice. And, to be honest, it’s only right and proper that it’s Teddy here. And listen – the British Museum is falling down around our ears. Those monsters are getting out of hand. All the mummies and dinosaurs and everything are going to break out of here quite soon and go rampaging right across London …”
‘“I’d rather Teddy Sparkles was still here,” said Esme. “As well as all the monsters and magical beasts. I like them.”
‘“Boop,” said Peter.
‘A pterodactyl came swooping out of the courtyard then, flapping its wings and trying to get at the cherries on my hat, and I was forced to fight it off with my umbrella. “Teddy Sparkles must die,” I told them, in my most sweetly reassuring voice. “And then everything will be all right.”
‘The oldest boy, Jack, could see the sense in what I said. He was nodding grimly. “Missy is right. Teddy, I think you ought to take the world back to how it was … before you changed everything. It’s only right.”
‘And so Teddy Sparkles hung his head. He had liked this world the way it used to be, and was rather ashamed of having caused a dreadful fuss. He gave a shuddering, remorseful breath, for now he had resolved to die and do right by the human race – and the end of my story was nearing. “Goodbye, children,” he wept. “I’ll make everything right, as you wish. But the effort will wipe me out of existence completely. I’ll simply fade away before your eyes. It won’t hurt much, I don’t suppose, but I’ll be gone and you’ll never ever see me again …”
‘Esme gasped and rushed to hold the tiny bear.
‘“Oh, get on with it,” I snapped and, in a fit of pique, I relinquished my narrating duties and threatened to vaporise his precious children if he didn’t get a shift on.
‘Teddy Sparkles glared at me. “You are the quintessence of wickedness, Missy. You really are.”
‘He always knew just the right thing to say, that Teddy Sparkles. And then he did a special magic thing and put the world to rights, vanishing in a flash, as he did so. Hurrah. The End.’
Except … it wasn’t quite the end. Not for Missy and not for the children. Not quite yet.
‘Come along, children,’ said Missy, swinging her brolly happily as they left the museum. ‘I’ll walk home with you to Queen Square, laughing and jeering at you the whole way, pointing out all the horrible suffering and mess you’ve caused with your stupidity.’
And yet, they were all astonished to see that the rubble and destruction wrought by dragons and demons and talking statues had vanished utterly. London was bright and sunny that morning in spring. Everyone was behaving as if nothing untoward had happened at all.
‘It’s most peculiar,’ said Esme, as they lagged behind Missy down those narrow streets.
‘Reality is real once more,’ said Jack. ‘With his dying gasp, Teddy Sparkles gave us back our world.’
‘Boop,’ added Peter happily.
‘And now we have to live our lives all over again,’ said Esme in wonder. ‘I can’t really remember very much of mine, can you, Jack? It’s all faded, like a queer dream, but I think there was a War and … and … No, it’s all gone now …’
‘This time perhaps we’ll get to choose what we want to do with our lives without Missy’s interference.’
Esme watched their governess pause before a sweetshop, her eyes glittering with greed. ‘I do hope she’ll leave us alone from now on. It’s all been quite terrifying. Especially that rather bizarre part of the story when she started narrating.’
Jack shuddered. ‘I hope she’ll go, too. She’s done enough damage.’
They became aware then that the sweetshop owner was engaging in conversation with Missy, and she was reacting violently and angrily to something he was saying. Now the man was laughing and she was fuming.
‘What is it?’ said Esme. ‘She’s not going to vaporise him, is she?’
The children drew closer in order to listen.
‘Why, of course I know who you are!’ the shop owner was chuckling. ‘You’re that lovely, magical governess from the famous stories, aren’t you? You’re a bit prickly and snooty on the outside, and sometimes you’re downright deadly, but you’ve got a heart of gold really, deep down. Everyone knows that! Everyone knows who you are, Missy! You’re famous!’ He laughed out loud and started calling out to other passers-by. ‘Look, look here! It’s Missy! The famous governess who has all the magical adventures! Look, here!’
Soon there was a crowd gathering around Missy.
‘She looks absolutely furious!’ Esme laughed.
‘This is all Teddy Sparkles’ doing, I bet!’ laughed Jack. ‘He’s engineered this reality. He’s fixed it so that she can’t creep about any more, getting up to nefarious schemes. That wily bear has seen to it that she’s the one thing she doesn’t want to be … famous!’
‘And loved!’ Esme chuckled. ‘Look at her face! That’s man’s fawning all over her. She looks horrified!’
‘Boop!’ said Peter.
Missy was just about tearing out her hair as people gathered for autographs. Someone was holding up their squirming baby so she could kiss it.
‘Ugh! I can’t stay here!’ she squawked. ‘I’m surrounded by blithering ninnies!’
The crowd laughed at that. ‘Ain’t she a card? She’s so abrasive! But she’s all right underneath! She’s got a kind heart …!’
‘I don’t have a kind heart!’ Missy roared in frustration. ‘Beneath this gorgeous bosom are beating two hearts of pure, unadulterated evil!’
But the crowd outside the sweetshop simply laughed even harder at her.
And so did the children.
Missy unfurled her umbrella quite savagely. ‘Right! I’m leaving 1925 for ever!’
‘Goodbye, Missy!’ called Esme and Jack as she zoomed into the startling blue skies above Bloomsbury. Their younger brother cried ‘Boop!’ and the crowd gasped at her jet-propelled boots.
She shot into the air and shouted something extremely rude down at the lot of them.
The years unfolded once again, in many ways similarly to the way they had the first time round. The children got to choose their own destinies this time, which was much better and more agreeable all round, they thought.
Esme became a grandmother. She inherited the house in Queen Square and, one very snowy Christmas, she had all her children and grandchildren visiting.
Her favourite child was Jane, the youngest. Jane was quieter than the others, and often got elbowed aside in all the kerfuffle of a large family. Esme took a special interest in her and, that Christmas morning, sat with her as she opened her presents. As usual, Jane looked very serious and concentrated as she set about her task. The others were raging about the place, causing an unholy din.
At last, Jane was left with one final, beautifully wrapped parcel. ‘Who’s that from, darling?’ asked Esme.
‘It doesn’t say,’ Jane observed solemnly. She set about untying the ribbons, very carefully, and laying them to one side to use again later.
Esme watched with a strange, cold feeling deep in her stomach.
‘It’s a bear!’ Jane cried. ‘It’s a rather old, golden bear. His face is a bit squashed and he’s a little crumpled. But he’s awfully nice. Look at him, Grandma Esme! Just look at his face! Oh, thank you. Thank you so much!’
‘But … he isn’t from me …’ gasped Esme. ‘Where did he come from?’
‘Oh, look! He’s covered in glitter,’ said the child. She hugged him hard.
He turned to Esme and those topaz eyes stared into her own.
Then Teddy Sparkles quite distinctly winked at her, she was sure of it.