Chapter Four

Friday evening, Nicki walked into the ballroom of the hotel where WestCon was being held. People milled around talking and laughing. Nicki enjoyed being able to interact with fans at this level. The room wasn’t crowded yet, and while her entrance was noticed, no one rushed her. Some fans were still a bit shy when it came to meeting their idols. It made her smile.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” her friend and manager, Helen, asked, joining her. Her short, dark brown hair was smoothed to a high gloss, and she wore a blue business suit whereas Nicki wore a sparkly top and black pants.

Nicki nodded and some of the tension eased from her muscles. Helen always attended these events with her. She was a buffer at times between Nicki and her fans but also someone Nicki could just hang out and let her hair down with.

“I’m fine, a bit tired is all.” She fought not to rub her chest. Her heart hurt, and she had no idea why.

Helen pursed her red-painted lips. “After what you told me, I can’t believe Adam let you attend.”

“He didn’t let me do anything. I told him I was coming, and I left.”

But she had a nagging itch at the back of her neck, reminding her that once Adam made up his mind, he wouldn’t let go. He’d proved it before by his fierce pursuit of her when they were dating. He’d show up on her movie sets, driving her to distraction. He’d sent her gifts, calling her to talk about anything and everything. Dang, he was doing it again. Just like before they were married, he dominated her thoughts.

“I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to cross Adam,” Helen admitted.

“He doesn’t have the right to dictate to me.” Nicki turned to her friend. “And since when did you become a fan of Adam?” Helen was the only other person besides her mother, who knew the whole story about her and Adam.

“I’m not completely in his corner. It’s just…” Helen’s eyes widened.

“Just what?”

“Ah, nothing.”

“Helen.” It wasn’t like her friend not to speak her mind.

“Not now, Nicki.”

Nicki shook her head. “No more talk about Adam.”

“That’s not going to be possible.”

“What do you mean?”

“Adam’s here.” Helen motioned behind Nicki.

“What?” She turned to see Adam striding through the doors, his gaze searching then meeting hers.

Her stomach clenched as a shiver of excitement slid up her spine. Had he come after her? She wanted to believe he’d finally come to his senses and come to see what the convention was all about. How much the fans enjoyed the weekend and talking with her and the other artists and actors here.

Or was he here to protect his movie?

Oh, Nicki, don’t be so romantic. He’s here to drag you back to the set and his world. Just like always. The tightness in her chest increased. Why was it always about what he wanted? Sure, it was nice that he wanted her, but now she saw what was lacking. He didn’t have a lot of interest in what she had accomplished on her own, in her existence outside of her relationship with him. Her throat constricted, and she had to blink rapidly to keep back tears.

“Good evening, Helen, Nicki.” His whisky smooth voice slid over her skin like a caress.

Nicki’s gaze took in how he was dressed—casual black slacks and a black T-shirt. A buttoned down Adam?

Her heart began to pound. “What are you doing here?”

His eyebrows rose at her tone, but he smiled. “Keeping an eye on my wife.”

The half grin sent a shock of apprehension through her blood. The last time she’d seen him give that particular grin was right before he’d walked out of her life. Her spine stiffened. “I don’t want you here.”

“Nicki,” Helen admonished.

She didn’t respond to the surprise in Helen’s voice. She didn’t want Adam here. It was too much for her. She needed time away from his dominant presence.

“Tough.” He placed his hand on her arm. “One phone call to the conference chair, and I’m here for the duration. There’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

“Want to bet?” He was challenging her? Here on her own turf, so to speak. She needed this weekend without him to recharge her batteries. Fighting him took all her strength, and she wanted to let her guard down and relax.

“Don’t make a scene.” He slid his arms around her waist and bent his head to whisper in her ear, “You won’t like my response.”

She hesitated. He was using his I am master voice with her. And she remembered what happened after their first date when she told him she didn’t have time for a man in her life. A shiver of anticipation slid up her spine. She found that tone so damn sexy and it fulfilled her desires to be dominated.

“You left my set without permission.”

Oh, hell, his deep husky voice sent a shaft of excitement through her veins.

“You knew I was leaving.” She fought against struggling or melting into his hold. His heat called to her, making her heart pound and her pussy grow wet. She needed a man who respected her as an equal partner, but her reaction wasn’t helping her get that. Maybe it was her body she needed to train first before she could hope to get Adam to keep his Dom in the bedroom.

“I’ll be right back,” Helen said, the lights gleaming off her hair as she edged away.

Nicki wanted to call her back, but it wasn’t fair to stick Helen between her and Adam. No, this was a battle she needed to fight on her own.

“I remember explicitly telling you to stay.”

Nicki let out a sigh. “This is old territory. You’re not my boss or my Dom. I cleared it with Chris, and I double checked the schedule. There was no filming this weekend.”

“I know you did.” Adam maneuvered them to the nearest wall away from the growing crowd, giving them some measure of privacy. “When I talked to Chris, he told me he had talked to you, and he mentioned you’ve asked him again to release you from your contract.”

Damn, Chris, why couldn’t you keep your mouth shut? “My part in the film isn’t the point.”

“It is.” He tightened his arms around her. “I’m here to make sure you don’t ruin the film’s reputation.”

“That’s all you care about. Your damn film.” She squirmed in his hold, but he held on tight. She should have known that was all he cared about. He wasn’t here about her well-being or the fact that she’d left.

“Yes, I care about the film.” His gaze bore into hers.

Damn, he could be stubborn when he wanted, but then, so could she. “I’m not discussing my contract here. I have my own career, make my own decisions.”

His scowl frosted away the heat she’d felt earlier.

But she’d said what she had to say, and now, she could be kind. “I know the hotel is booked. Do you have somewhere to stay?” The answer was probably no. All the closest hotels were full.

“I’m staying here.” A gleam flashed in his eyes, and a shiver of unease hit her. “I’m sharing your room.”

A red film glazed her vision. “Like hell.” Her hands fluttered to her stomach as she fought down the panic of them sharing a room. But it wasn’t a flight or fight panic. It was the “how do I keep my hands off you if you’re in my room” kind.

“Keep your voice down.”

Nicki glanced around, but no one was really paying attention to them. At least, not yet. “You’re not staying with me.” She lowered her voice. “You come here to control my contact and expect me to accommodate you in my bed?”

“I’ll camp in the lobby.” He gave her a roguish grin, and her rage drained away. Maybe he was here for her, not just his damn movie why else would he camp in the lobby? Damn, why did this playful, flirty, forceful alpha act get to her every time?

“What would pictures of you sleeping in the hotel lobby do for your precious film?”

“Nothing more than you already have started.” He tilted his chin, and Nicki looked over his shoulder.

Damn it, a local TV crew had arrived. She wasn’t about to be shown backed against the wall by him. “You’re not staying with me,” she said softly then marched away.

Adam couldn’t help but grin as he admired how Nicki’s hips swayed as she moved across the room. He’d gone all caveman the second he’d seen her. That wasn’t part of the plan, but she brought out his baser side.

“I don’t think you’re using the right approach,” Helen said, striding up to Adam.

“You don’t say.”

Helen barely reached his chest, small but powerful. He was happy that Nicki had her best friend here to help her. Helen pushed her brown hair away from her face as she stared at him with those calm green eyes. At least she was talking to him.

“I’m going to need some help.” He wasn’t above asking for help when he needed it.

“Why should I help you?” She tilted her head and studied him with astute eyes.

“Because you care about Nicki. She’s not happy.” He wanted her happy, but he wasn’t sure how to make that happen.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Mine.” He kept his gaze on Nicki where she stood across the room, talking with some of her fans. “I’ve made mistakes.” His stomach clenched at the admission of his failure. Failure was never an option in his life.

“You have. More than one.”

Adam’s gaze zeroed in on Helen. She may be a small woman, but she packed a hell of a punch. “Will you help me?”

“Not if you’re going to hurt her again.” Helen let out a sigh. “I can’t watch her heart break again, Adam. It almost destroyed her.”

“I would never hurt Nicki.” He had no intention of hurting her, he wanted his wife back.

“Wrong answer.” Helen turned away.

“Helen.” He grasped her arm. “This isn’t the place to discuss this.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” She stared at him with a frown. “Let’s go find a quiet area in the bar.”

“Thank you.” Adam almost sighed in relief. If Helen was on his side, then he just might make more headway with Nicki.

“I’m still not sure about this, but I’m willing to listen.” Helen turned and walked out of the room.

Adam gave Nicki one last glance before following.

****

By eleven that evening, Adam was losing his temper. Nicki was avoiding him. After he’d talked with Helen in the bar and they’d come to an uneasy truce, he’d returned to the ballroom to find Nicki floating from one group of men to another.

If he joined the group, she made an excuse and left. He fought against the jealous rage boiling inside him each time one of the guys would flirt with her. But he’d kept his cool. He wasn’t going to make a scene, no matter how much he wanted to snatch her away from everyone.

He scanned the group where Nicki…where did she go? Glancing around the large, crowded room filled with people from all walks of life, he came up empty. Spying one of the coordinators of the event whom she’d talked to several times tonight, Adam approached him.

“Excuse me, Bob. Do you know where Nicki went?” At least he remembered the guy’s name.

“She said she was going upstairs.” Bob gave him a grin. “Will you be around all weekend, Mr. Bainbridge?”

“I hope to be.”

“Good. I hope you’ll join in some of our panels about movies. We’d love to have an actual director’s opinion.”

Adam stared at Bob. He hadn’t expected to be asked to talk or be part of this convention. Maybe this would be a way he could understand why Nicki enjoyed doing this.

“I’ll do my best. If you’ll excuse me…” He strode from the room, but there was a bounce to his step. Nicki couldn’t avoid him, not when he had a key to their room.

****

“How the hell did you get in here?” Nicki’s voice rose with each word when she stepped out of the bathroom of her hotel room.

Adam hid a grin, seeing her dressed in one of her cartoon nightshirts, the fabric falling below her knees. She was so cute.

“Key.” He dangled the key card from between his fingers from his position on the bed. With Helen’s help, he’d been able to get his name on the room and a key. It had taken a bit of work, and hotel management had to be very careful, but after Helen had brought in the head of security for the convention, who had vouched for Adam as well, they’d given him a key.

“I don’t want you here.” She crossed her arms over her breasts.

“I’m not leaving.” He rolled off the mattress and to his feet. Picking up his bag, he sauntered over to her. “I’m going to take a shower.”

He passed her, and the scent of honey drifted to him. He controlled his impulse to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. One thing at a time.

Adam stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. Nicki’s hostility was something he expected. She wasn’t about to welcome him with open arms, not after all the comments he’d made about the convention and his insistence she wouldn’t be going.

But here they both were. He had given up on her too easily before because of his own inability to deal with failure. Being here over her objections was his way of not making the same mistake. This time, he was going to protect her from any and all negative attention.

After making short work of the shower, he shaved then wrapped a towel around his waist before going back into the other room. Time to get started having a real talk. But when he arrived, Nicki was on the phone.

“I don’t care what you were told.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headboard. “Yes, I understand.” She flung the receiver back into the cradle. “This is not fair,” she muttered.

“Life is often not fair.” He moved toward the bed. “But tell me what’s going on. I’ll bet we can make it right for you.”

Her eyes opened, and she glared at him. “You can’t stay here.” She jumped off the mattress.

“There’s nowhere else to go.” He kept his gaze on her. What was going through her head? Heck if he knew. At one time he could read her, but not now. He’d lost his touch.

Was he doing the right thing? In his mind, yes. He’d walked away before. Never again. This was his wife, and he wanted to understand why this conference was so important to her.

“Go back to Oregon, to the house, and to your film.”

“Not an option. Nicki, please let me back in to your life. Tell me what’s going on with that phone call?” He paused, placing his fingers under his chin, studying her. “Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“You’ll come back to Oregon with me.”

She let out a big sigh and threw her hands in the air. “You’re impossible. I already have a manager. This isn’t your problem. I’m staying.”

“Anything that upsets you is my problem. You are my wife.” The love of my life. He dropped his towel and climbed onto the king-sized mattress.

“I’m not your anything.” Nicki scowled at him. “And for your information, you are part of the problem.” With a huff, she turned and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Adam folded his arms and stared at the door. He could wait until she came out.

****

“Nicki.” A soft voice called her name.

Nicki fought her way to the surface and blinked away the fogginess of sleep to see her best friend’s face. “Oh, Helen.” She sat up and stretched. “Morning already?” Her entire body hurt from her tense night on the sofa.

She’d been unwilling to spend the night with Adam in her hotel room, so after he’d fallen asleep, she had snuck out. She hadn’t been willing to do it while he was awake, afraid he’d talk her out of leaving. So she had taken the coward’s way out. At least in Helen’s room she’d be able to sleep.

Not that she’d gotten much sleep. Adam haunted her dreams. In them, she had sashayed out of the bathroom, had found Adam naked in her bed, and so had begun their kinky play. She still longed for him to tie her up and have his way with her, for him to take her sexual satisfaction away from her and control it for a night, a week, a lifetime.

Nicki shook her head. They had a long way to go before they could get back to that level of trust in their marriage, if ever.

“Yes, it’s morning.” Helen frowned at her.

“What did I do now?” Nicki ran her fingers through her hair. Helen hadn’t been happy at being woken up or at having Nicki in her room, but that was what best friends and managers were for.

“Adam just called. I’d say you’ve got less than five minutes before he barges in here.”

“Crap.” Jumping up, Nicki scooped her clothes from the chair she’d laid them on the night before. She didn’t want to face him. Hell, she really didn’t want to face anyone right now.

“He didn’t sound like he was in a good mood.”

“He never is anymore.” Her hands shook with apprehension as she dressed. She was already conflicted in her feelings toward him. Dealing with his anger was not something she was prepared to do. She needed more time to sort out her attraction with him versus old wounds, not to mention the frustration with his over-dominance in areas outside the bedroom.

“He was happy when you two were married.”

Nicki gaped at her friend. “I can’t believe you said that. He was so rigid and tightlipped.”

“I’m telling you the truth, and you know it.” Helen took two steps and grasped Nicki by the shoulders. “You were happier, too.”

Had I been? “Helen, I don’t have time for this.” She shook off her friend’s hands to finish dressing. “Adam will be here any second, and I can’t be here.”

“We’ve been friends for a long time, and I’m going to say something that could end our friendship.”

Her head jerked up, and she stared at Helen. “Nothing could end our friendship.”

Relief flickered in Helen’s eyes and a crooked smile passed over her mouth. Then she took a deep breath. “Adam is your husband, and he’s trying to make things right.” Helen waved her hand in the air. “Give him a chance. You’re doing the same thing to him you’ve always complained he did. You’re closing him out.”

“He deserves it,” she countered. “He walked out on me when I needed him the most.” The back of her throat tightened and she turned away quickly before the tears welling in her eyes showed.

“And you won’t let him forget.” Helen’s voice was soft. “It was an emotional time for both of you, and you both chose different ways to handle it. You let it turn into anger and bitterness at Adam, while he bottled it all up and tucked it away.”

“Quit playing psychologist. My anger is valid.” She started to pace. Why wouldn’t Helen leave well enough alone? At least her fresh anger dried the tears that had threatened to unravel her at the worst possible moment. She needed to scram out of the room before Adam arrived. Or at least, she would have her composure in place.

“I’m not saying it isn’t. But I think it’s time you realized how much you miss and love him.” Helen stopped Nicki’s pacing by grasping her by the forearms. She looked into her eyes. “I care about you. I want you to be happy. For better or worse, Adam made you happy.”

“That’s a matter up for debate, but not with you. I need to figure that out myself. I’m sorry, Helen. I need time to think.” She’d been fighting her conflicting emotions for Adam since the day she arrived on the set. She’d thought she could have a strictly professional relationship with him.

She was so wrong and not because he pushed so much.

“I can’t let myself love Adam again.” And that was the bottom line. The one thing she was sure of in this mixed up mess.

“Why not?”

“I…” She couldn’t get the words out. She was afraid of losing her heart to him and having it stomped on again. Could she really survive it a second time? To have that special Dom/sub relationship only to have it torn away?

“There’s a big difference between cannot and will not.”

“Don’t I know it.” Nicki sat down on the edge of the sofa, fighting back tears. She looked up. “I’m scared, Helen.”

“Of Adam?” Helen took a seat beside her.

“Not of Adam, but of the way he makes me feel.” She sniffled. “I don’t think I’ll survive if he breaks my heart again.” And if she became pregnant…she shivered.

“Oh, sweetie.” Helen put her arm around Nicki’s shoulders. “Adam made you feel alive. He treated you like the woman you are, not the woman people see in your movies.”

“Yes, but he also kept a part of himself locked away from me. A part I need to share with him.”

She shivered, remembering his cold hard words that night in the hospital. He had blamed the loss of their child on her for working on her last scream queen film. Her filming had nothing to do with the loss of their child. He’d hurt her deeply, but they’d both been under a lot of stress, and she’d figured he’d come back after he cooled down. But he hadn’t. It had been all she could do to recover her sanity, to reject that blame. Thankfully she had a good therapist because her husband was nowhere near to help.

A knock on the door sent her scrambling to her feet. She didn’t want to face Adam, not when she was this vulnerable. Helen’s tactics cost her escape.

“I’m going to let him in,” Helen said, compounding the problem. “But you need to know, I won’t allow you in my room tonight. You have to work this out.”

While Nicki seethed over her friend’s hard-core version of support, Helen marched over to the door and unlocked it. “Good morning, Adam,” Helen said. “Come on in.”

Now she had bigger things to deal with than Helen’s betrayal. Nicki put her back to the door while trying to get herself under control. Damn, Helen was forcing her to confront Adam and her fears.

“Good morning, Helen,” Adam said. “Nicki?”

His soft, subdued tone had her taking a deep breath and facing him.

Adam looked like hell, his normal well-groomed dark hair mussed, lines of tiredness on his face. Had she done that? Regret hit her low in the stomach at making him feel bad, yet on the heels of regret followed a twinge of arousal mixed with a bit of happiness he’d come after her. All these emotions swirling in her mind surprised her.

“Good morning.” Her happy tone surprised her and him, too.

“I’m just on my way out. See you both later,” Helen said before slipping out the door.

Silence filled the room, and Nicki looked down at her feet, unsure of what to say or do next. She was glad to see him, and she didn’t know what to do with that.

“I did some thinking last night,” Adam said. “I was hoping we could have breakfast before I leave.”

“Leave?” Now where was he going? Oh hell, what was wrong with her? One minute she wanted him to leave, the next to stay. She had better figure out which and quick.

“Yes. Being here isn’t making you happy.”

She stared at him, at the fresh shadows under his eyes. Adam never slept well in hotel rooms. But there was more tension visible in the lines of his face than lack of sleep could have caused. Maybe sneaking out last night hadn’t been such a good idea. They were both a tired mess this morning.

She made a flash decision. “I need to run to our room, change, and freshen up. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you in the restaurant.” They really needed to talk and do it in a rational manner. She needed to let go of her defensiveness with him.

His eyes migrated from the usual cold stone to soft charcoal. “You’ve got it.”

Nicki rushed to the room and thanked her lucky stars she’d laid her clothes out the night before. A quick shower, change of clothes, some makeup, and she was ready to go.

In those ten minutes, she was able to sort through her thoughts and fear. By the time she arrived at the restaurant, she’d made a decision about Adam.