After Jack had gone, Gloria did something she rarely did – she clicked open the heavy oak door and walked into the church. She and Jack had always stayed within the confines of the small porch entrance whenever they met up. Today, though, she felt the need to sit on her own for a while, and so she found herself stepping across the threshold and into the nave of the little Anglo-Saxon church, with its uneven flagstones and its pretty stained-glass windows, their colour and craftsmanship obscured by the necessary brown tape.
Gloria could hear her footsteps echo as she walked across to the back row of empty wooden chairs and sat down. It was cold, and she felt colder still as she had left the yard without grabbing her overcoat. The place was empty, though, and Gloria was happy to swap the warmth of an extra layer of clothing for what she had now. Quietness.
What now? she asked herself.
But she already knew the answer.
Nothing.
She could do nothing. Other than carry on. Just like Jack had said. This was a battle that, at the moment, she had to accept she had lost. She was caught in a trap, and she just had to stay caught until she could find a way to free herself.
As she looked up at the church ceiling she noticed the beams had been shaped in such a way that they resembled an upturned wooden boat. Had they been designed like that on purpose? As she cricked her neck and continued to stare up at the thick, wooden beams and the large sand-coloured stones that had been used to build this church hundreds of years ago, her life began to fall into a perspective of sorts.
She had to be strong. Just like this ancient church. Just like Jack had told her to be. And most of all, because her daughter needed her to be.
As Gloria pictured Hope’s happy little face looking up at her, she remembered how she had given birth to her in the shipyard, and how she had called her Hope because of Jack, and how she’d had faith that he would come back to her alive.
And he had, hadn’t he?
Now, she had to keep hoping. Hoping that they would find a way to be together as a family. That this war would end. That all the problems and the troubles her women welders had would also resolve themselves – either that or remain buried, undisturbed as the tombs she could see at the front of the church.
Gloria knew that she could not give up now. Just over five months ago she had thought that she had lost Jack for ever in the depths of the Atlantic Ocean. But she hadn’t. He was back and he was well. He had even just about got his memory back. And what’s more, they had created a life together.
Gloria stood up and walked out of the church.
She pulled her little wristwatch out of her top pocket and saw that it was just a few minutes to three o’clock. Jack would be at the station now, probably boarding his train.
By the time Gloria had walked across the graveyard and down the North Sands embankment to the front gates of Thompson’s, it had gone three.
Jack would be beginning his journey.
Alfie waved Gloria through and she headed across the sea of metal and men and walked along the gangway to where she knew the women welders would be working. She saw them before they saw her and for a brief moment she stood and watched them all.
At the start of this day she had only been keeping the one secret. A secret she had been looking forward to tossing away. One that she had thought she would soon finally be free of, after all this time.
But now, she not only had to keep her own secret tightly wrapped up for the foreseeable future, she also had to keep a close guard on those of her friends – the ones they knew about, and those they didn’t.
Gloria stood for a moment simply watching her friends.
A tug on the sleeve of her overall snapped her out of her reverie. She looked round and saw Hannah’s young face beaming up at her.
‘I saw you come in. Thought I’d come and see you.’ She just about managed to shout loud enough to be heard above the noise.
Gloria looked down at Hannah and thought about her aunty Rina and the financial burden Hannah now had balanced on her skinny shoulders – never mind the constant worry she had about her parents.
‘Come on, let’s go and see what that motley crew of welders is up to,’ Gloria shouted back. ‘I think it may be time for a quick tea break.’
Hannah nodded her agreement and they walked over to where the women were working. Each one was surrounded by a halo of sparkling molten metal. One by one, as though sensing Gloria and Hannah’s approach, they looked up.
Polly, Gloria thought, looked so determined when she was welding – always had done, and even more so since her last letter from Tommy. She dreaded to think what would happen to her if Tommy never came home. Worse still, if Tommy ever thought that Polly wasn’t anything but a hundred per cent faithful and loyal.
Standing up to her full height to arch her back, Martha spotted her two friends and pushed up her helmet. She towered above the rest of the women as she waved, a big grin appearing on her face, showing off her distinctive gapped teeth. Gloria’s heart went out to their gentle giant.
Even if Martha was able to deal with the truth about her biological mother, she knew for a fact she would not be able to withstand the scrutiny and unwanted attention should it become public knowledge.
‘Yeah!’ Dorothy’s voice was loud and shrill against the surrounding din. She was smiling over at them, waving at them with one arm and giving Angie a whack with the other to alert her of their arrival.
Did Dorothy know about her mother’s bigamy?
And did Angie know that her mam was playing away from home?
‘Where ya been?’ Angie asked as Gloria and Hannah reached them.
‘What Angie meant to say, Glor,’ Dorothy said, ‘was, “My, you’ve been a while, Gloria, is everything all right?”’
Gloria smiled at the comedy duo and rolled her eyes in the direction of Polly, Hannah and Martha, who chuckled.
‘Can I get a cup of tea down me first, please, before the Spanish Inquisition?’ she said.
And with that, they all trooped over to the very tip of the ship’s stern, which was jutting out across the river. The noise in the yard wasn’t as loud there, but still enough to stop any real conversation, and so they all sat in a row, pouring the tea from their flasks into their tin cups and looking out at the seemingly infinite North Sea.
And as they all sat sipping their hot tea and exchanging the odd word, Gloria thought about Jack and their rushed farewell, and she knew that her feeling of heartbreak would probably stay with her until they were reunited again – whenever that would be.
But she also knew that she was not alone. Far from it. Next to her she had her makeshift family. Her family of friends. They were all here, apart from Rosie, who hopefully would now be on her way to see her lover.
How on earth was she going to chat to them all about what had just happened at Miriam’s? About what she had found out?
What should she tell them?
And what should she keep a secret?
At this very moment in time, she had no idea.