ENLIGHTENMENT CAN NOT BE BOUGHT OR SOLD
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.1
MATTHEW 5:3
He is a poor man who wants nothing,
knows nothing, and has nothing.2
MEISTER ECKHART
If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything.3
SENG-TS’AN, THIRD PATRIARCH OF ZEN
ENLIGHTENMENT AS SPIRITUAL POVERTY
Enlightenment might actually be described as spiritual poverty. By “poverty” I do not mean selling all one’s belongings and living in a cave. Spiritual poverty has nothing to do with having or not having material possessions. The poverty I am speaking of is the emptiness that does not separate itself in any way from life. It is the poverty of our true nature that is free precisely because it contains everything yet in itself is nothing. It is the poverty of a mind emptied of its beliefs in its own identity. It is the poverty of a soul that has no idea where it stands on the so-called spiritual path.
There is a Mystery so unknowable that it stops the thinking mind, and thus it is the poverty of a mind that is surrendered in the face of its limitation. It is the poverty of doing what needs to be done without thinking about the cost. It is the poverty of a freedom so immense that self-image does not even register in its movement. It is a poverty that can be compassionate simply because it does not consider being compassionate, but rather it is compassion. It is a poverty that does not think about how the awakened life “looks” because it is being the awakened life.
Enlightenment is sought and sold as many things in today’s spiritual supermarket. But for many seekers, no matter how often thoughts might insist otherwise, what is really desired, at least in the beginning, is an escape from oneself or from life as it is into a new, improved, transcendent life for the “me.” In time, of course, we discover that what is transcendent reveals itself in direct proportion to the absence of the thought called “me.” If egos truly believed there was nowhere to go and nothing to be gained or attained for a “me,” I dare say the multi-million-dollar industry involved in selling spirituality or enlightenment would face a hard hit. And, ironically, you might not have purchased this book.
The mind of thought is engaged in the known. The Mystery the mind is seeking is unknown. Yet the mind keeps looking to itself to discover, understand, and unravel the Truth that is unknown. Whatever we imagine we are seeking when we begin to seek enlightenment, we are never prepared for what we actually find—or, more accurately, what we don’t find. True poverty of spirit occurs when one is not separating oneself from Source, not even to be a “vehicle” of the Divine, but one is free of knowledge, will, or agency—emptied of ideas of God, Self, or Truth. Enlightenment, in its deepest expression, erases separation, holds on to nothing, and moves from unknowing as far as the mind is concerned. An enlightened moment is a moment when concepts have ceased. Yet wisdom and love flow from such poverty. Someone once asked me, “What did Adyashanti give you?” I answered, “Nothing. He gave me nothing, and that was his greatest gift.”
As I mentioned earlier, the journey that we imagine will bring us the ultimate gain, the ultimate knowledge, bliss, and peace of mind is really a journey of subtraction, not addition. Rather than adding something to our self-image, it takes away our self-image. Rather than delivering greatness, it lets us discover the freedom of our own nothingness. Rather than bringing the ultimate point of view, it allows an awakening that renders points of view irrelevant. Rather than feeding the spiritual ego with more and more, it takes away the ego’s food, the beliefs that fueled its identity and sense of a separate “enlightened me.” Rather than becoming more, we become less. Rather than the mind knowing more, it knows less. Rather than answering all of our questions, the questions dissolve, along with the questioner.
If the spiritual seeker actually knew in advance what would be demanded in this so-called journey, he or she might never begin, for what is demanded is nothing short of our attachment to everything we ever thought, learned, believed, imagined, or identified with as a “self.” For many, the cost of surrendering these beliefs feels far greater than the money spent on spiritual paraphernalia, weekend workshops, or retreats, and most are not willing to pay the price that true freedom demands. Such freedom unhooks us from attachment to the illusion of what we are not and at the same time deepens our joy of loving, learning, observing, engaging, and being one with the life we are.
THE COST OF REALIZATION
Most spiritual teachers emphasize the beneficial aspects of awakening: peace, joy, love, clarity, contentment, freedom, wisdom, compassion. And these are not false. But few teachers emphasize the cost: everything we ever thought we were or would become. It is rather common for the seeker to have a taste of paradise and imagine that he has “arrived” in the promised land. But the sincere seeker of truth will soon discover he has arrived nowhere and all that the inflated spiritual ego imagined it has gained will, in one way or another, be taken away or rendered transparent, including realization itself.
If we are to embody what we truly are, we must be emptied of all that we are not. We will be stripped bare, invited out of our “self” possession, our “self” cherishing, and emptied of our most sacred and holy beliefs. The “good guys” and the “bad guys” will be seen to be the same essence; the whole universe will be our body; the suffering of the world will be felt more deeply, as will the compassion it arouses in the heart we share.
However we begin the so-called spiritual journey, we feel motivated by longing, by a deep desire for Truth, love, God, Self, Buddha nature, freedom. If we followed our longing back to its Source, we might discover that what we long for is the Truth of what we are. But most minds begin to look outside to books, religions, philosophies, therapies, practices, and teachers.
A TRUE TEACHER INVITES US INWARD
Happening upon a teacher who embodies awakening, within or outside of a spiritual tradition, can be a very lucky thing, a very great thing, as the true teacher will invite us to look within, to take, as they say in Zen, the backward step. Often, however, our minds are hoping to have enlightenment given to us by a teacher or a practice, and we become frustrated when this does not seem to happen. The truth is that no one can give you what you are. Our Buddha nature, what is awake, can neither be lost nor gained, neither given nor taken away. But it does no good to know this intellectually. Each of us must make our own discovery. No one else can do it for us. And it is here that we begin our journey to poverty.
ARE YOU WILLING TO BE A BEGINNER?
What is unknown is what is inviting the seeker out of the known. Are we willing to not know? It is amazing how many people have had deep and authentic awakenings to their true nature, only then to limit themselves by all the ideas their minds carry about how they are supposed to look, feel, think, or not think “if . . .” What is free and awake expresses itself as life, life as it is. The very acts of sitting, walking, eating, speaking are the action of enlightenment. As the Buddhist Heart Sutra says so succinctly, “Formlessness is exactly form; form is exactly formlessness.” Most minds, based in self-image, imagine that formlessness (Spirit) is exactly form except when it comes to “me,” my life, my personality, my feelings, et cetera. But our true nature does not have a separate “me” or “my.” It is whole. As long as we cling to a “me,” we will not be free. We will continue to see through the prism of an illusory separation.
ARE YOU WILLING TO LOSE YOUR “SELF”?
Are you willing to pay the price even if it means losing your “self”? If you are, it will eventually feel like exchanging a penny to gain the whole universe. But no matter what one hears of the Buddha’s discovery of “no self,” or Jesus’s realization that “I and my Father are one,” or Ramana Maharshi’s “only the Self,” most seekers believe that there is a separate self (a “me”) who will become enlightened and live in eternal bliss and freedom. Why else are so many seekers willing to pay so much for the promise of enlightenment? For how-to books, DVDs, teachers, weekend workshops, retreats, trips to India, zafus, the correct meditation clothing, shawls, jewelry, oils, crystals, statues, candles, home altars?
Now, there is nothing wrong with your attraction to any of the above, but beware when what is being sold is eternal bliss, freedom, an end to life’s suffering, the solution to all problems, security for the mind, vast knowledge, powerful shakti, special powers available for one’s own use (for worthy causes, of course), finding your true soul mate, and whatever else minds imagine awakening will bring. Whatever a mind imagines enlightenment is, it usually includes such ideas as these: it will create an unending experience of bliss; solve all relationship dilemmas; ensure that you will forever be happy and loved and never feel alone again; create a body or a life empty of illness, pain, or a single moment’s tension; and, if one is very honest, that it will allow you to escape from life as it is to a new, improved life for the “me.” But identifying with the thought called “me” is our separation.
For the sincere spiritual seeker, whatever is needed will appear. This includes desire, longing, books, teachers, teachings, gurus, practices, glimpses, openings, closings, frustrations, failures, and more. When the true teacher appears, there is an inner knowing that also simply appears. You do not need to worry about whom “you” choose, since it is not your choice. “You” (as ego) are not the one who creates the meeting. There is an inner knowing that the mind does not control. Life moves us. Something is known in the heart even when the mind is unclear or resists. I am not talking about heart in the sense of simply our feeling state. I am pointing to the true Self that is actually driving the bus.
The seeker who longs for Truth or who longs for God will not be left bereft of what is needed, but it takes an open mind and an open heart to follow your deep inner guidance or to imagine that Silence will guide you. Many of us have grown up imagining we cannot trust ourselves to know what is right for ourselves, and we certainly cannot trust life to take care of things. The ego does not like to leave anything up to chance, fate, God, life, or anyone or anything else, believing, as it does, that its safety and security lie in its (illusory) control.
If the Mystery moves for something to happen, it happens, no matter how hard we resist; and if it does not happen, well, that is just what happens. We may not be ready or receptive because of fear or immaturity, or the voice may be the voice of ego and not our deepest knowing.
TRUSTING OUR INNER KNOWING
There are many things in life that we accept just happen without mental turmoil: having a drink of water when we are thirsty, for instance, or leaving our lungs alone to breathe themselves. I am suggesting that everything else just happens as well, including your actions, reactions, decisions, resistance, the course of your life. This does not mean we have no perception of choice. Of course we do. We can live more and more aligned with our inner wisdom, or we can resist it, doubt it, devalue it. The things that appear in our inner knowing simply appear; and it is only by trusting that we discover the felt sense of inner wisdom that can be trusted. Many thoughts appear in the mind, but it is the heart that holds one and not another. If you have developed a relationship of trust of your deep Self, you realize that when the inner push or pull is strong, you cannot not follow it. The action simply occurs.
Now, perhaps you have made tremendous progress controlling a certain destructive behavior—addiction, for example. You have had the experience of working very hard on yourself or on a problem and finally getting on top of it. This, you imagine, proves there is a separate “self,” because before you had no control over your addiction and now you no longer drink or do drugs. Or perhaps you have had clear intuitions that did not work at all, and therefore the mind imagines it cannot trust the inner knowing. “I thought my last boyfriend was the right one; I thought I knew deep in my heart. Look how wrong I was!”
YOU WILL LAUGH AT THE RATIONALE OF THE THINKING MIND
The thinking mind will come up with all kinds of rationales for believing in its separate life and separate power, and that just happens, also. When you see that nothing is separate, you will laugh at all the ways you imagined decisions were “yours” to make. If you are drawn to theological terms, we could say: Nothing happens outside of God’s will, because nothing happens outside of God, because nothing exists that is not a reflection of God. God is synonymous with Totality/Mystery/Awareness. To awaken deeply is to understand that there has never been a separate person doing one single thing separate from the action of the whole unfolding itself, and that all of the happenings are simply appearances in what/who you are. Everything is unfolding from the true Heart of Awareness that we share.
Perhaps you’d like to get back to the important business of “your” enlightenment and how the right teacher or guru appears. There is no separate “you” to enlighten. The understanding and the shift of identity that occur with awakening simply appear, like everything else. And they appear only because of the misunderstanding we live with that we are separate.
Here in this core misunderstanding is where a guru comes in. In Sanskrit, gu means “darkness,” and ru means “to destroy.” The concept of guru has not been part of our Western tradition, nor does it need to be. Most Westerners prefer to use the term teacher. A true guru does not care what anyone calls him or her. In fact, the guru is not personally engaged with anyone, yet personal relationships appear to exist in powerful, meaningful, and loving ways from the point of view of the disciple.
GURUS, SPIRITUAL TEACHERS, AND CHARLATANS
From the point of view of Totality, gurus, spiritual teachers, and charlatans all exist as manifestations of one Consciousness. From the point of view of the phenomenal world, there are differences in function.
Gurus
The guru is the power of the Self within, an ever-present support shining in the heart of the devotee. The guru is the expression of grace, inviting the seeker into the true Heart of Awareness. As the Self that is the inner guru pulls the seeker within, the apparent outer guru pushes the seeker over the edge of her limited identity with the nonexistent ego. The guru is not a separate person. The guru is the appearance of the Self both within the seeker and in the seeker’s world. Like the rest of life, he simply comes as an appearance, and yet the disciple imagines the guru is separate from herself and is in this world to teach her something about the spiritual path or how to transcend separateness. Yet it is the inner guru who has called forth the outer guru.
Even though as I meditated in front of Ramana’s photograph, I would feel a deep peace and sense of simply Being, I did not want to imagine he was my guru. I did not want one, and I felt you were really going down a dangerous slope to treat a man as if he were a god. So one day I asked the photograph, “Are you my guru?” The answer immediately came back, “The Self is your guru.” If the answer had come back yes, I would not have believed it and would have gone in the other direction. Of course, these were all thoughts of the “one” who took herself to be separate from the action of the moment, from the guru who had appeared, from the unfolding of life as it was. Yet, to me, this is true: the Self is your guru. If a guru or teacher is needed, one will appear.
When we have a deep relationship with our inner life, we can ask questions and receive answers from that place of silence, stillness, and wisdom within. You may think that it is just yourself answering yourself, and of course you would be correct. Everything is our Self relating to itself, but until we really know who we are, the Self projects itself as God, Goddess, Divine Mother, lover, friend, guru, teacher, et cetera, and the “answers,” coming from our deeper knowing, appear as the answers of God or guru. We have not yet fully understood that Self, God, and Guru are one. We are living in the dual world of God or Guru as “other.”
Not everyone who is teaching or who seems to have students is a guru. The guru draws seekers by simply Being. This Being is not about having siddhis, being able to manipulate emotions or minds, or demanding money. The guru is not a person with special powers. The guru is one who knows, in fact, that he or she is not a person and that whatever appears or does not appear is only appearance, not reality. The guru does not identify with personhood or powers, yet disciples may imagine both. The guru is not concerned with the number of disciples, though disciples may come, nor is the guru concerned with making money, although money may come. The guru is not trying to do anything. He (sadly, most gurus are men) is merely being the Self, knowing that it is the Self that arranges everything, speaks through human lips, brings seekers or sends them away, brings money or takes it away. None of it is the guru’s concern.
Spiritual Teachers
Among spiritual teachers, inside or outside of a spiritual tradition, there are masters and there are messengers. A spiritual teacher might be either, but the one Consciousness is guiding truly awakened spiritual teachers to speak from the deep silence of Truth. There are other teachers who may have had glimpses or partial awakenings, including some who seem interested in commercializing their teachings and may be quite concerned with name, fame, money, or numbers. A true teacher, however, is not arrogant, does not claim powers that only he has access to, is not telling folks that he alone is awake while everyone else is not. When oneness has awakened, there will be an openness that does not claim division from others or an arrogant conviction that one tradition alone is the only way to God or Truth. Spiritual teachers may speak to multitudes or have only a very few students. Some masters may transmit their teachings only to one or two deeply engaged students.
Like gurus, spiritual teachers are also manifestations of the one Self; so are their students. But they may serve a slightly different function than the so-called guru. They may be actively trying to teach something. They may believe they have something to teach. They may be very skilled at what they do and be very inspiring and helpful to many people.
Truth Cannot Be Taught
However, the wisdom of the guru or wise spiritual teacher knows that she teaches nothing, does nothing, is nothing. Everything is an appearance, just as a dream is an appearance in Consciousness during sleep. What appears just appears, and then it vanishes; none of it is the deepest reality. Truth cannot be taught. Take away everything you can take away until nothing is left, and what is left is what the guru is. It is also what the seeker is, but the seeker believes otherwise.
Now, you undoubtedly have your own ideas about what a guru or spiritual teacher should look like, and here I am writing down my ideas about such things as well. But I am not really speaking here about what someone looks like. There is an inner knowing, an inner communication that is communicating with itself all of the time in all of our apparent meetings and partings with various teachers, gurus, or others. What we experience or receive as “transmission” is simply the spontaneous transmitting of where we are in any given moment.
We are always transmitting where we are, whether we imagine that is the case or not. The teacher in whom awakeness is deeply embodied transmits the truth of that awakeness without trying to do so. It is received (or not) by the resonance a seeker might have with that energy of Truth in the moment. Truth transmits itself beyond words. Self sees the Self, Love sees love wherever it looks. Even in the realm of authentic spiritual teachers, there may be a resonance with some and dissonance with others. The fact that you have a resonance and someone else appears to have a dissonance says nothing about where you belong or where the other person belongs. Consciousness is always relating to itself in the phenomenal world, seeing itself, communicating with itself, and this is true for the teachers we might see as charlatans as well as for revered gurus and marvelous spiritual teachers.
Charlatans
A charlatan is an imposter, one who claims to possess knowledge or skill that he does not have or one whose ego is claiming to be enlightened. An imposter will promise enlightenment, then tell you that you just need to sign up for the advanced course for X more dollars or give all of your savings or your sexuality or your self-respect as part of the bargain. Enlightenment cannot be bought or sold. Saying this does not mean that those who function as gurus or spiritual teachers do not need to pay rent or buy food or support families. Some gurus ask for money; some spiritual teachers charge for their time or their teachings; but no one can give you the understanding that will set you free. No one can give you what you already are. It cannot be purchased or delivered like a sack of groceries, no matter how many “advanced” courses you take.
The guru does not believe she “does” anything. The spiritual teacher may imagine she has something valuable to offer, but she is motivated by a sincere desire to be of service. The charlatan wants fame, fortune, or a quick ride to humility. That which inflates also deflates. How can the seeker tell the difference? His egoic mind may not be able to discern, but his heart will know. The fact is, some seekers are looking for the same thing the imposter is looking for—a way to appear as if they know what they do not know in order to try to impress themselves or others or to give themselves a sense of worth they do not otherwise imagine they have. Such seekers will find false sages, and both seeker and “sages” of this variety will be finding the mirrors in life to reflect back what they imagine life is all about.
If we think life is about rejection and abandonment, we will be sure to find people who will oblige our expectation. If all we truly seek is Truth or God, eventually all that we find will be seen to be that. If what you seek is something else, that is what is appearing, also. Everything is an appearance in the Awareness that we truly are.
WE FIND TEACHERS AT THE LEVEL OF OUR INTEREST OR READINESS
So how can the seeker be protected from false teachers? In a sense there is no false teacher. At whatever level a teacher is teaching, he or she will often attract students looking for that level. Then there are those who imagine they are looking for one thing and end up finding something surprising. I imagined I was searching for God and did not want a guru because no human was God. I ended up finding every man and woman is, in essence, Divine Consciousness, the Self. There is an old saying that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Egos often spend much more time looking for a teacher than strengthening their devotion to Truth.
NOTHING BETRAYS YOU EXCEPT EGO
Nothing ever betrays you except belief in the ego—the spiritual ego of a false and self-important teacher or the insecure ego of a seeker who wants to depend on something outside to give what can neither be given nor taken away. In functioning as both a psychotherapist and a spiritual teacher, I have seen deep wounding when people who felt they were giving themselves to a “true” teacher ended up being defrauded, sexually abused, or in some other way betrayed in the trust and love they felt for the teacher.
We may not know the causes and conditions or the karmic connections that have led to a certain outcome. But in protecting ourselves from a false teacher, it is our sincerity, honesty with ourself, and common sense that offer the best guarantee for a safe, though not necessarily easy, passage. Many people have abandoned what their inner wisdom knew to be true in order to belong to a group, to a cult, to a charismatic charlatan. The Buddha’s admonishment to “be a lamp unto yourself” seems as true today as it was thousands of years ago. Neither your ego nor a teacher’s ego can take you to realization. Pay attention to the silence, to a teacher’s presence (not necessarily powers), to where the teacher’s words are coming from, where they point, and what they seem to evoke in you.
AWAKENING DOES NOT GUARANTEE MATURITY
Having even a very authentic awakening does not necessarily guarantee maturity on the level of mind, heart, or body. We have all seen or heard stories of teachers who were incredibly skilled at spiritual teaching, at pointing to Truth in ways that facilitated students experiencing it for themselves, and yet seemed to exhibit immature or even destructive needs, relationships, demands, or behaviors. In time, however, inflation will always be followed by deflation. Inflation happens often to those on the spiritual path—to both students and teachers.
We have all had the experience of being seduced by Truth and then betrayed by ego(s). We are always drawn to moments of Truth, peace, love. We are seduced because these moments are a taste of home trying to bring us home. What gets in the way of realizing the Truth behind these moments are egoic ambition, expectation, and attachments to images. Seduced by Truth and betrayed by ego describes the experience with false teachers and with our false self. Until we realize how much the ego betrays us when it grasps on to the idea that the body, mind, and thoughts are our correct identity, we will not realize Truth as seamless.
You are not the doer. Ego consciousness thinks it is. Thoughts arise; ego believes it is the thinker of the thoughts. Surrender all to know all and to be all. And yet your mind does not know how to surrender. The seeker is being surrendered—back to the poverty of not knowing. The means of being surrendered may differ, but we may find ourselves in the phase of the awakening process I call “burning in love’s fire.”