Chapter Thirty-six
“You are free, Ms. Gray,” the judge said, “and this time, we mean it.” The judge winked while banging her gavel. “Court adjourned.”
“Is this really happening this time?” Unique turned and asked Jawan.
“You packed your stuff up before you even came to court, didn’t you?” Jawan asked as Unique replied with a nod. “That was one of the stipulations I made; that this time, you get processed and don’t even have to go back there, not after the devastation it caused the last time. Speaking of which ...” Jawan dug through her briefcase until she pulled out a business card and handed it to Unique. “Here, take this. It’s a friend of mine, a civil attorney. Give her a call once you get situated. I’ve enlightened her on your situation.”
Unique accepted the card, although she was puzzled about why Jawan would want her to contact an attorney. The case was over. Unique never wanted to have to hire another attorney or see another courtroom again as long as she lived. “Thank you, Mrs. Martinez.”
“Call me Jawan,” she insisted.
“Thank you, Jawan, for everything. I mean, I still don’t understand why you did all you did for me.” Unique looked down and shook her head while staring at the card.
“Hey, because us single, young mothers trying to raise all these babies alone have to stick together.”
Unique looked up at Jawan with a perplexed expression on her face. “But you’re not a single mother. You’re married.”
“Yeah, but I’m an alumni. I didn’t always have that fine husband of mine helping me raise my kids.”
Unique was shocked to be learning this information about her attorney. All this time she’d pictured Jawan married with kids, never having to struggle a day in her life; never having to beg and do obscene things for child support. “Your kids are not your husband’s?”
“Well, yeah, they are now. He adopted them. The youngest of the children is his and mine together, but the other four—”
“Four? You have five kids altogether?” Unique couldn’t hide her shock if she wanted to, or that tongue of hers. “And I thought I was bad.”
Jawan poked out her lips at Unique.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out like that,” Unique apologized.
“But, yeah, girl, I started spittin’ ’em out when I was fifteen,” Jawan confessed.
“Wow, fifteen.”
“Yep, and had one every year thereafter like I didn’t have nothing better else to do. And like I didn’t have any sense on top of that.”
“That sounds like me.”
Jawan turned and grabbed Unique by the shoulders and got real serious. “I know it sounds like you. It is you. I am you and thousands of other young girls out there. I’m that chick who got called the ho, the whore, the baby maker; even by my own mother and father.”
“But at least you had two parents in the home.” Most girls Unique knew who grew up in that type of predicament came from single-parent homes.
“Girl, not only did I have two parents in the home, but my daddy was a minister. Okayyy?” Jawan, for the first time ever, was in sista-girlfriend mode with Unique. She knew this was the kind of talk Unique could relate to. And she wanted nothing more right now than to get Unique to be able to relate to her. “My family was fit to be tied when I turned up pregnant. Even tried to talk me into having an abortion a couple of times.”
“Not your father, with him being a Christian and all.”
“Humph, he was sailing the ship. Didn’t want me embarrassing the family and destroying his ministry. I refused to abort my babies though. When I refused to get those abortions, my mother and father tried to instill fear in me. They told me how much it would hurt delivering the baby, how much it would ruin my life, how I wouldn’t amount to anything, how me and my kids were going to live in lack for the rest of our lives, and how my children would repeat the cycle.”
Unique nodded at those all too familiar words. “I hear you. That’s how it is with my family. We’re all in the cycle, and we can’t get out. It’s hard to picture yourself doing something with your life when society tells you you’re nothing but a welfare mom freeloading off of taxpayers. And then when you look around and see the women in your family living the same life, you really start to feel there is nothing else out there for you.” Unique began to tear up. “It’s just this cycle, this curse that you get caught up in and you can’t get out.”
“That’s not true. You can get out, Unique. Look at me,” Jawan said. “I did everything everybody told me I couldn’t do. Heck, I didn’t even want to go to college, let alone go to law school and become a lawyer. But because nobody thought I could do it, I wanted to do it just to prove to them otherwise. Of course, eventually, law became my passion. I guess you could say it became my ministry, because it gives me the opportunity to share myself and my story with so many people, people like you, Unique. All of this that happened to you, baby girl, it wasn’t even about you. It wasn’t even about me. It was about that one thing, that something, that work God wanted to do in somebody. But all I know is that I’ve definitely reaped a benefit. I got to share my story with you, which I don’t do with just anybody now,” Jawan made clear.
“And it seems as though each time I’m led to share my story,” Jawan continued, “it’s like therapy. It’s like this release. It’s this reminder to let me know that I made it, but at the same time, to never forget where I came from. Because if I forget, then how can I tell it? How can I ever be an encouragement for that single mom out there struggling, thinking she’s nothing, nobody, and is never going to be anything?”
Jawan shook Unique gently by the shoulders. “Join me, Unique. Be a part of the story. Let your story be an encouragement to save the next one, and then the next one, so that they may be an encouragement too, if you know what I mean.”
Jawan stood straight up. “Look, I don’t care what anybody says about Fantasia’s song, ‘Baby Mama.’ There are plenty of times when I look back and feel too that it should be a badge of honor. But not until that baby mama does something with herself should she receive the badge of honor. Not until that baby mama gets off welfare. Not until that baby mama stops shacking up with men that are not her husband and having babies knowing they are going to be born in lack. Not until that baby mama has a degree under her belt, a job with career-oriented goals. Not until that baby mama and not some rapper chick becomes her children’s role model. Not until then should being a baby mama be a badge of honor.”
“Not until that baby mama is being who she wants her kids to be,” Unique finished.
“Exactly.” Jawan thought for a minute. “Hey, isn’t that a holiday now or something?”
Unique nodded, but then a tear fell from her eyes. “I hear you, Jawan, and I agree, but I’m not a mama anymore,” Unique reminded her attorney.
“Oh yes, you are. Those are your boys, and they will always live in you. So what you gon’ do, Unique? You gon’ get out of here and go back to doing the same ol’ same ol’? Or are you going to fight? Are you going to fight to be everything somebody told you that you couldn’t be?”
“I’ma keep fighting,” Unique promised.
“That’s my girl,” Jawan said, once again preparing to leave. “I know you can do it. I did it. With the help of God, I did it. And I know on every beat of every last one of my children’s heart that if God did it for me, then ...” Jawan couldn’t even finish her last words she was so emotional.
“I know, I know,” Unique said. “If God did it for you, then He can do it for me.”
Jawan shook her head. “No, God will do it for you. He will, Unique. He will.” Just then, Jawan’s phone vibrated. “It’s the office. I’ve gotta go. They are having a meeting to go over some things about the firm’s new partner.” A huge grin spread across her face. “Yours truly.”
“What? Are you serious? You made partner?”
“Not bad for a former baby mama, huh?”
“Not bad at all,” Unique smiled.
“Anyway, I think it’s safe to leave you this time, but if once they get you in the back and decide to arrest you for something else, you know who to call,” Jawan winked. “But seriously, you take care of yourself, girl.” Jawan gathered her things, and then turned to head out of the courtroom. “And, Unique?”
“Yes,” Unique replied before the guard escorted her away.
“Keep fighting. In the end, you win.”
Unique smiled and nodded as she walked out of the courtroom with the guard. She knew she had to keep fighting because the fight was far from being over. The fight wasn’t over until life was over, and she still had a long life to live. So as long as she was breathing, she was prepared to fight until victory was won.