Chapter Forty-one
“I do hope you all enjoyed that word today from God,” the pastor of New Day Temple of Faith said.
“Amen,” some congregation members replied as a sign that they had.
“It was delicious,” another called out.
“I just want to give a special thanks for all the family and friends who came out to celebrate this year’s Family and Friends Day here at New Day Temple of Faith,” the pastor said. “But I want to thank, even more so, those of you who invited friends, family, and some complete strangers to come out and fellowship with us.”
Unique looked over at her homegirl, Joelle, who was sitting next to her. She was glad that this year Joelle had finally decided to come out and visit New Day for Family and Friends Day.
“I know how hard it is for some of us to pick up the phone and invite someone to church,” the pastor continued. “It’s not as easy as it was to pick up the phone, back when we were in the world, and invite folks to the club.”
“Oh, you still preaching, Pastor,” someone said.
“Naw, naw, I’m done preaching for today. I just want to talk to you now. Is it okay if I just talk to you?”
“Talk to us, Pastor,” some beckoned.
“See, I was one who could call up a girlfriend or a cousin in a minute and say ...” Pastor put her hand to her ear and mouth to symbolize a phone. “... Girl, you want to meet me at the club? ... Oh, don’t worry about not having no money, I’ll pay your way ... Girl, please, you know I’ll buy you a drink.” Pastor looked at the congregation. “And if we got real lucky, we could find some guy to not only buy the drinks, but maybe to even go home with.”
“Amen,” both Unique and Joelle said, looking at each other and giving a high five. The two of them had called each other on more occasions than they could remember and said some of those exact words.
“You get all dressed up to go out to the club,” Pastor said. “And I don’t know about y’all, but when I was going out, when I was in the world, I gave the devil my best. I’d fidget over what to wear for hours sometimes, because I wanted to look my coolest. If I was gon’ sin, then I was gon’ look good while doing it. If I were going to hell, I’d look so good that the paparazzi would follow me there, cameras just a-flashin’.” Pastor began striking poses and a couple members stood to their feet clapping. “I’m talking name brand see-through shirts with a designer bra on underneath, miniskirt, and thigh-high boots that I bounced a check to buy.”
Laughter erupted throughout the congregation.
“Oh yeah, some of us did it up in the world, didn’t we?” Pastor asked.
“Yes, we did,” some answered.
“But now we won’t even iron the raggedy jeans we throw on for Sunday church service.”
“Ouch, Pastor,” someone shouted.
“Oh, my bad. I didn’t mean to step on your toes.” Pastor began tiptoeing across the pulpit.
Members of the congregation laughed, at both her actions and her use of slang. It was always funny in the church when pastors used slang. But it was even more laughable for some reason when it was a white pastor, such as New Day’s pastor, using slang. New Day’s congregation, now almost over 90 percent black, didn’t see color when it came to their pastor though. All they saw was a vessel God was using to deliver His Word. Color, race, sex, and creed mattered not. God could use whomever He wanted, whenever He wanted, and however He wanted. Selah.
Pastor looked around at some of the faces. “Don’t go getting offended up in here, because I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about me right now,” the pastor said. “Can I talk about it? Can I talk about myself real quick?”
“Talk about it, Pastor,” a woman said as she stood up and shooed her hand at the pastor.
“See, because I’ma tell the truth and shame the devil. When I was in the world, I gave the devil my very best. But then when I started getting into church, giving God my best was a whole nother story.”
“Aw, shoot, Pastor. What’s your story?” someone called out.
“Like I said,” Pastor replied, “I’d spend hours picking out clothes to go to the club, but would get up and throw on anything to go to the Lord’s house. But thank God I know to do better now.”
“We hear you, Pastor,” someone spoke while someone else hollered out, “I know better now.”
“Remember, though, don’t get offended, I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about me right now.”
“You’re talking about me too, Pastor,” someone wasn’t ashamed to say. “That used to be me.”
“It used to be me too,” Pastor reminded everyone, “but thank God I know better now.” The pastor almost went into a hoop as she continued with, “I know better now, because now I don’t call up my girlfriends and cousins talkin’ ’bout ‘Meet me at the club, it’s going down.’”
By now, half the congregation was on their feet at Pastor’s play on the hook to a once-popular hip-hop song.
“Now I get on the phone and say, ‘Meet me at the church, it’s going down!’” Pastor could feel the hoop coming on as she tried to contain herself. Typically, she wasn’t a hooping pastor, but for some reason, the Spirit that was running through her wasn’t the typical spirit. Today wasn’t church as usual.
“You know you preaching now, Pastor. You know you preaching,” a gentleman said, wiping a tear from his eye from laughing so hard at his own truth that Pastor was speaking.
The pastor continued. “Now I get on the phone and say ‘Don’t worry about money, because there is no cover charge. The price has already been paid!’” Pastor shouted.
Now everyone was on their feet; New Day members, friends, family, and visitors alike.
“And guess what? If you come on communion Sunday, drinks are on the house!”
The church exploded with praise.
“And you don’t have to go write a bad check for the perfect outfit, because we have a one-size-fits-all outfit waiting on you called the armor of God.”
“Glory!” a woman shouted and fell to her knees.
“And if you’re still worried about what to wear, do what I used to do until I learned better from the mothers at the church. Wear those raggedy, wrinkled jeans. In other words, come as you are. Jesus will give you a makeover. Not a Mary Kay cosmetics makeover like our Sister Unique here does so well.” Pastor winked at Unique who had tears running down her cheeks. “But a spiritual makeover. You’ll look so good that by the time my God is done with you, when you try to step foot back out there into the world, folks aren’t even going to know who you are. Folks aren’t even going to recognize you. ‘Who are you?’ they are going to ask. ‘We don’t recognize you. You don’t belong here.’”
“Yes, God! Yes!” Unique cried out.
“And you’ll walk out of here with a man all right. A man that will comfort you.” The pastor wrapped her arms around herself and began rubbing her own arms. “He’ll protect you. He’ll provide for you. He’ll give you all your heart’s desires that line up with the goodness of the Word of God. He’ll teach you and guide you and direct your path. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He’s an extension of God, and He goes by the name of Holy Spirit.”
“Hallelujah,” people shouted out. A couple even broke out into a spiritual dance.
“Glory!” others cried out.
Crying out, praises and worshipping took place for the next few minutes before everyone’s spirit settled down.
“You wanna go to that club or that pub where everybody knows your name?” the pastor asked, referring to the theme song from the old sit-com Cheers. “Well, come on up in here, because even though everybody might not know your name ...” She pointed up to the heavens. “... He knows your name. He knows your name!” Pastor repeated and the church was in a complete holy uproar. It took a few minutes for the shouts and praises to die down before Pastor could continue.
“But I ain’t gon’ preach to y’all. I’m done preaching,” Pastor said as members began to laugh, knowing good and doggone well that Pastor had just preached her butt off. “But seriously, I do want to thank all who participated in Family and Friends Day. God bless you. God bless you all.”
“Humph, I guess your pastor tooolllld me,” Joelle said in a singsong voice.
“She told quite a few of us,” Unique replied. “That word just wasn’t for you.”
“That was crazy, though, because it was like she’d read my mind for all these years regarding how I felt about coming to church.” Joelle shot Unique an accusing look. “That is, unless you been talking about me behind my back to your pastor.”
Unique smacked her lips. “Child, please. That wasn’t nothing but the Holy Ghost giving her those words to say. I haven’t been talking about—”
“Hey, isn’t that your other mother and the girls?” Joelle nodded toward the church exit doors after cutting off Unique.
Unique turned to look just in time to see Lorain getting ready to exit the church. “Mama Lorain!” Unique called out. “Mama Lorain!”
Lorain just kept it moving, although Unique was sure she’d heard her. She had to have heard her; everyone else seemed to have. Even the lady that was exiting the church in front of Lorain turned around to see who was doing all that yelling.
Humph, maybe she didn’t hear me, Unique surmised. “Oh well, I guess she couldn’t hear me, being so focused on the twins and all,” Unique reasoned, still not 100 percent sure, but not finding it something she needed to make a big deal out of.
“Yeah, I guess not,” Joelle shrugged.
“No worries, though. I’ll catch up with her. There’s something I need to talk to her about anyway.”
Joelle noticed the expression on her friend’s face. “It must be serious.”
Unique sighed. “Believe me, it is.”