“What crawled up her ass and died?” Donny asks with my plate of shrimp in his hand as we walk toward our table.
“Bad lip fillers?” I somehow crack a smile, but my heart hurts. I shouldn’t feel betrayed because Hayden doesn’t owe me anything, but he knows how horrible she was toward me in high school. Thanks to Donny’s Facebook stalking, I had a warning, but it doesn’t hurt any less to actually see them together in person. The way she snaked her arm around him and pulled him closer made me sick. Sure, a lot of time has passed since we broke up, but she’s the last person on earth I ever expected him to date, and seeing her nasty hands on him makes me want to vomit. All the bad memories from my teenage years flooded back when I heard her awful voice. Bitch.
“Well regardless, she’s not aging well. Unfortunately for her, Snapchat filters aren’t a thing in real life. I knew she touched up her photos. I could tell by the perfect complexion and full lips. So fake.” Donny leans against the table and slides the plate of shrimp toward me.
“Ironically, I’m not hungry anymore.” I glance around the room, trying not to make eye contact with him because he can see straight through me.
He grabs a shrimp and wiggles it in my face. “Oh come on. You love these little bastards.”
It doesn’t take much to convince me. “Fine,” I say, swiping it from his fingers. It tastes heavenly, so I help myself to another.
He chuckles and grabs a mini sausage. “Sometimes size does matter.”
I snort. “I think I need a stronger drink.” I finish the vodka tonic and continue eating.
“I’m on it.” Donny walks toward the bar like it’s a runway, and it makes me snicker because he really gives no fucks about any of the people’s opinions in this room. For the most part, I don’t either. Except for Hayden’s.
For years, I thought about what it’d be like to see him again, but this feels like something from my worst nightmares, especially since he’s with that witch. I wish a house would fall on her and the Munchkins would come out to celebrate with me.
Donny soon arrives with a tall glass, and I’m excited to see the colorful liquid and umbrella.
“The bartender totally wants me. I watched him pour a little extra rum in both. Helped that I told him to make something just like me—dangerous and delicious.” He chuckles, handing over my beautiful pink beverage, and takes a drink of his own.
I take a sip. “Oh my God. This is so strong and fruity.”
“Yep, I’m pretty much all those things too.” Donny drinks half of it as if he’s in a hurry to go back and visit the bartender. Soon, both glasses are empty, but all the worry I had fifteen minutes ago is practically gone. I pop a mini quiche in my mouth and listen to Donny go on about this bartender.
“I’m parched,” he whines, then pulls me by my arm toward the bar.
The alcohol courses through my system, and I hold on to him as we wait in line. Whatever Hottie McHot Bartender made us, I want another or five. I’m hoping enough of these tasty drinks will erase the thoughts of Hayden with Veronica.
We patiently wait in line, and I can’t help but notice how the low lights really sets the mood. I smile at the random chatter as soft music fills the background, and I’m so thankful Donny is my sidekick tonight because seeing Hayden again without him would’ve ended in the self-pity lane right out the hotel doors.
I turn and scan the room while he orders us another round, and my eyes land on Hayden chatting with someone and I realize it’s his little brother, Hunter. I almost didn’t recognize him, but his smile hasn’t changed over the years. It takes me a moment to remember how old he was then—twelve or thirteen. Time has passed so quickly.
For a moment, I can’t seem to take my eyes off Hayden in that suit that hugs him in all the right places. His hair is messy on top, and I can tell he’s laughing at something. Veronica is nowhere around, and for the first time tonight, Hayden looks happy. Above all things, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him—true happiness.
As if he felt my gaze, he turns, and his eyes meet mine. The room stills, and all I can hear is the sound of my beating heart. It’s almost as if everything around us disappears when he smiles at me. I swallow hard, hurry and turn around, and try to squeeze myself in Donny and the bartender’s flirty conversation, whose name I learn is William. The alcohol only encourages my obnoxiousness, but I desperately need the distraction.
William gives me a wink as he slides over my new drink, but this time it’s blue. Donny grabs his and leans over the bar. “So what time do you get off tonight?”
William smirks. “Midnight.”
“Well when the clock strikes twelve, your Prince Charming will be waiting.” He turns his body, and I loop my arm with his as we walk back to our table top.
“You’re cheesy as hell.” I giggle. “But I think he appreciated it.”
“Oh he totally did, but I hope he knows I wasn’t kidding.”
I glance at Donny, and he tilts his head at me as we set our drinks on the table top. My eyes already feel heavy. I’ve officially drank too much too fast, so mission accomplished.
“I could’ve sworn he wanted you too,” he tells me, holding his straw as he sips.
“I know, right? I got the same vibe. Maybe he swings both ways?” I joke, knowing it really riles him up.
Donny chuckles. “Well if he does, then all it’ll take is one night with me and he’ll forget about women altogether. Guaranteed.”
Laughter rolls out of me.
“Don’t look,” he says in a singsong voice, looking right past me. “Oh no, she didn’t.”
I want to turn around so badly, but it’d be obvious. “Just tell me!” I whisper-shout.
“Veronica totally just fed Hayden a mini quiche.” He bends over, snickering. “I might shit myself. That was so awkward. She basically dropped it on his suit.”
“Yep. I still hate her,” I add.
“She’s trying too hard. I can tell by the way he’s dismissing her that he’s not into her that way.”
My eyes light up, maybe a little too much. “Really?”
He nods. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure she’s a pity date. It’s sooooo obvious.”
When I snort and can’t contain my loud laugh, I cover my mouth, hoping I didn’t draw too much attention to myself. Though I love the spotlight on me on the stage, I don’t in real-life social situations like this.
“Oolala. Who’s that good-looking guy with them?” His voice manages to go up an octave.
“You told me not to look!” I say between gritted teeth, then nonchalantly walk around the table so I’m standing next to Donny. I really feel like we’re back in high school again, whispering about all the cool kids while sitting at our own lunch table. Some things really don’t change.
“That’s Hayden’s little brother, Hunter,” I tell him matter-of-factly.
“He. Is. Divine,” Donny says with a shake of his head.
My eyes go wide. “Don’t you dare get any ideas.”
Placing his hand over his heart, he flutters his eyelashes at me. “Don’t you trust me, darling?”
“No!” I snort.
After I finish my drink, I place my empty glass on the table. A nice older woman politely asks everyone to move to the dinner area because the newlyweds will be arriving soon.
I look at Donny. “I’m gonna grab our number place cards and find out which table we’re sitting at. Run over to the bar real quick and get us a refill. You might as well get the bartender’s number while you’re there too?” I smirk.
“Good idea.” He shoots me a wink before rushing toward the bar. I go over and quickly find our names, then look at the picture frames filled with pictures of Lena and her husband on display. When I arrive back to our table top, Donny walks up with two purple drinks.
“Careful. This one is more dangerous than the previous ones.” He hands it over. I playfully roll my eyes at him and take a big gulp. This might possibly taste better than the last two. Glancing around, I notice the bar area is almost empty, so Donny and I walk to our assigned dinner table and await the bride and groom. He wraps his arm around me and steadies me because with each sip I take, the more unbalanced I become, plus the tall ass heels aren’t helping.
Donny and I end up sitting with people we don’t know, and I’m actually relieved not to have to make small talk with anyone from my past. Glowing candles on the table create a warm ambience in the dimmed room. Flower arrangements made from different colored roses are in tall vases in the center, and I’m in awe at how beautiful everything looks. I’m so happy for Lena because when we were teenagers, she always talked about her dream wedding, and she’s finally getting it.
Being the friendly extrovert he is, Donny introduces himself to each person sitting with us, and I smile and introduce myself as well. Just as he turns to tell me something, the DJ comes over the loudspeaker and begins to announce the wedding party.
They’ve all picked out songs and enter with silly dances, which makes me laugh. Soon Lena and her husband are entering, and the crowd goes wild. Her husband pulls her into his arms, dips her, and kisses the hell out of her.
“Aww,” I say, holding my hand over my heart as the first dance begins.
Donny turns and smirks at me. “You’re drunk,” he whispers.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Maybe.”
After they dance, someone delivers a welcome speech, and soon we’re being served dinner. At this point, I need to eat because I’ve drank too much, but I don’t feel very hungry. I pick at my plate and find myself searching the room for Hayden. I can’t seem to find him anywhere, which is a good thing.
Next, the best man and maid of honor are giving their toasts, which makes everyone laugh and cry. The father and bride dance, then the mother and groom dance. After that, the party really begins. Donny and I make our way back to the bar, and this time, he orders two double shots of tequila. He hands me mine.
“Are you insane?” I ask.
“Probably a little.” He shrugs, then he quickly taps his glass against mine, and we both shoot it down. It burns, but I welcome the feeling.
“I’m going to hate you tomorrow,” I tell him with a grin, but then he orders us more drinks. After he hands me a red and orange concoction, he smiles. “Now you’ll hate me tomorrow.”
“How many is this? I’ve already lost count.” I try to remember, but it all seems like mush. We make our way back to our seats to drink and watch people on the dance floor.
“Have you seen him lately?” I ask, knowing nothing or no one gets past Donny.
“Yeah. He’s on the opposite side of the room, probably Lena’s doing,” he tells me, stirring his drink with his straw.
“I know it’s been a long time but seeing him just makes me feel terrible about what happened between us.” I keep my voice low, and I see his face soften.
“Maybe it’s time you told him the truth then?” Donny’s eyes meet mine, and for the first time tonight, he’s being serious.
“I couldn’t. He’d never forgive me. Ever.” The regret of what happened has never faded. For a decade, I’ve been lost in the might-have-beens and what-ifs. People say time and distance help through a breakup, but the way I loved Hayden was different. It was fierce and beautiful, and I chose to let him go. Nothing or no one has ever been able to fill that void in my heart. It’s a shallow grave of where our love once lived. It’s always been reserved for him, and I’m sure it’ll always be there.
“And you think he’s forgiven you now? Sometimes, regardless of how many years have passed, it’s better to be truthful than to keep harboring it all. Because it’s obviously still affecting you. It’s time you put Hayden Manning behind you. Or on top of you,” he says, cracking a smile and lightening the mood.
I finish my drink and stand. “I think I’m gonna go to the ladies’ room real quick,” I tell him, needing to excuse myself from the conversation and freshen up.
“I’ll be here. Or at the bar. You’ll find me,” he says.
I exit the ballroom and walk down the hallway toward the restroom. It’s packed, and after I do my business, I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror.
“Is that you, little Savannah Burns?” a woman asks. I turn and see Lena’s mother, Carla, with the biggest smile splashed across her face.
“Yes, ma’am. How have you been?” I smile, and she hands me a paper towel to dry my hands, then we hug.
“I’ve been good, honey. How about you? Are you still living in New York? You know I don’t keep up with you kids much.”
We walk out of the bathroom together and make small talk about everything that’s happened since I left. Soon we’re in the reception area, and Hayden interrupts our conversation.
Carla gushes over him the same way she did in the bathroom with me. “Oh my gosh. You two love birds are still together?”
Heat hits my cheeks, and I shake my head.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. This is what happens when I have too much wine,” she says, looking at Hayden.
“It was nice seeing you, Mrs. Carla,” he tells her, giving her a hug, and she makes her escape. As she crosses the dance floor, Hayden turns and looks at me. Being under his gaze causes heat to rush over my body. Just like the fairy godmother he is, Donny rushes over with shots in his hand, and I willingly take it.
Hayden watches me intently as I watch Donny move across the room, almost as if he’s floating. The lights transition, and “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton begins to play.
“Sav, would you like to dance?” He gives me that same boyish grin I fell in love with as a teen.
I should say no.
I should walk away, but the tequila is speaking, and I take his hand. He guides me to the dance floor between all the other couples.
Hayden places his hand at the small of my back and pulls me close to his chest. His cologne brings back so many fond memories of all the time we spent together and how much it used to drive me insane. I used to steal his letterman jacket just so I could keep the smell of him with me at all times.
“I’ve missed hearing you sing,” he says with a smile as we begin to slow dance.
I look up into his eyes and feel as if I’m dreaming. I didn’t even realize I was singing aloud to the music.
“Habit,” I say with a shy grin. Acting and singing on stage are my bread and butter, yet him saying he misses hearing it has me blushing with embarrassment.
“You used to hum all the time when we would study together, and once I got to college, I realized how much I needed it to focus,” he admits. I blink up at him, wishing I had the guts to tell him how sorry I was for hurting him and why I did what I did. I ended things before our first semester was over, and I can’t even imagine how that affected him—well, maybe I can—except I had Donny and practice to distract me.
“I still do that when I’m reading over my lines,” I say with a grin.
He chuckles. “Guess some things really don’t change.”
“You have,” I reply with a smirk, wishing the tequila would shut up. He spins me around and pulls me back close to his body.
“You have no idea, sweetheart.” His voice drops low, and I swallow hard as we make eye contact again.
My heart erratically beats, and I’m afraid I might say something I regret. “I’ve missed you, Hayden,” I admit, feeling the emotions bubbling up. “You were my best friend for so long and then…”
He gently places a finger over my lips. “You’ve had way too much to drink. It’s cute, but I don’t need drunk Sav truth bombs right now. We do have a lot to discuss, though.”
A rush of guilt washes over me as I remember what I did to him. “Hayden, I—”
Before I can finish, Veronica pushes her way between us.
“Hate to cut in, but…” She looks over her shoulder and rolls her eyes. The passive aggressiveness in her tone isn’t lost on me either.
My mouth falls open, and before I say or do something embarrassing, I rush out the door as fast as I can without giving Hayden a second glance.
Some things really are better left in the past.