Being Sonny Rollins

One of the dangers of piping Sonny Rollins

into my earbuds on my morning outing

is that I start wishing that I were Sonny Rollins

as I face again the blunt fact that I am not.

I usually run along a curvy cinder path

on the edge of a lake that sparkles in the sun.

I spot a heron, a pair of ducks, and five white ibises,

but the fact remains that I am still not Sonny Rollins.

I watch hundreds of scattered black birds

wheeling and squawking in the sky

but that cowbell intro to “I’m an Old Cowhand”

reminds me that I am someone other than Sonny Rollins.

Most of the runners and dog walkers

give me some kind of morning greeting.

Then a guy about my age shoots me a look

that says There’s no way you are Sonny Rollins.

That does it. If I am not Sonny Rollins,

then none of you other people are either.

Not you in the tracksuit or you with the schnauzer—

not one Sonny Rollins in the pack of you.

And so I began exercising the muscles

of sarcasm as I continued to put down

everyone in sight for being inferior

to Sonny Rollins and every other jazz giant,

a pointless habit that ended only

when I found you at home in the kitchen,

you who have no desire to be Sonny Rollins,

you who dream only of being Anita O’Day.