9

“Daddy!” Ella shrieked and ran into Hoop’s waiting arms. He knelt and gathered her close, and Mallie almost melted at the heartwarming scene. He looked fresh-faced and relaxed, so the meeting with his ex must have gone well.

“Howdy, Mallie.” The grin he gave her took her breath away. She had to carve it into her memory, because she’d be leaving soon enough. “I’m going to grab a plate of grub. Hold that place next to you.”

She’d eaten hearty herself; Kelley’s chef friends from Denver had catered a fabulous meal. And Hooper wasn’t being shy right now. While he ate, he talked with his eyes and balanced Ella on his lap. Finally, she ran off to join a herd of other kids.

“Things went fine,” he said at last while he cleansed his palette with a glass of iced tea. “I guess.”

“That’s a good thing. I know you’ve been wanting a mother for Ella. Maybe…” It ached to say it. “Maybe this is part of God’s plan. Her finding you again.”

He choked over a mouthful of something, and after a good cough, he found his voice. “What do you mean?”

“You mentioned something about, well, dating again and finding Ella a new mom. Maybe Lynn’s the one after all.” Like she’d done earlier, she recited memorized words. Hers, though. Not the grace of Scripture.

“‘The one’ is a pretty big term,” he grumbled into his tea. “But no, Lynn doesn’t live in my heart anymore.”

“Maybe. But it wasn’t always like that. You obviously had feelings for her once.” Mallie didn’t want to push, but it would feel better to know.

“Mallie? What are you saying? You want me back with her?” Hoop’s eyelids, squinted from years in the sun, opened wide.

She picked up her own glass even though it was empty. “I don’t know. I want you to be happy, but…”

“Then it’s not with Lynn.”

“Well, it’s not with me either, Hoop. We had fun, a little wedding romance. If that, even. But…”

His eyes grew wider yet, and she read a pain in them. With a shake of his head, he looked around the busy tent. “Mallie, this isn’t exactly where I want to talk about any of this.”

“But we’re running out of time.” The words hurt and came out in a puff of air with almost no sound. “Brian and I are leaving tonight.”

“Tonight?” A look of pain crossed Hooper’s face, and for once, she took pleasure in somebody’s pain. It seemed he would miss her as much as she missed him.

She looked down. “Renny’s funeral is Wednesday morning. That means I need to fly home Tuesday. I want as much time as I can get with Uncle Ted and Aunt Jeannette with my trip cut short. And Brian wants to see them, too. So we decided to leave tonight.”

Silence ticked on.

“Maybe we could still get to Posy’s Grove?” She asked. Maybe that was one little dream that could still come true.

Hoop chewed his lip. “Well, it’s not a bad trip in the truck to Old Joe’s Hole, but I’d sure like to take you on another trail ride. Horseback to Joe’s is quite a jaunt. And, you know…” His shadowed eyes blinked.

She sighed, and the sound racked her own heart. “Yeah. I’m leaving sooner than anybody thought.” So did her words.

“Well.” Air whooshed from him. “We could saddle up and head to Fortress Creek. A tad closer. We’d be back in plenty of time to send off the bride and groom and to have cake. Although…they pretty much know what’s going on. I doubt they mind.” At the half-lidded gaze he shot her, and the significance she heard in his last sentence, a thrill skimmed across her spine. More Martin matchmaking. Dangerous. Then he slapped his knees. “All right. Let’s do it. We’ll get back here in no time at all. Go get changed, and I’ll get Ma to keep an eye on Ella.”

Eager for time alone with him, however long they had, Mallie rose and waved her hand over the crowd, many wearing casual Western attire. A whole slew of others had worn clean ranch duds to begin with. “A lot of folks changed after the wedding. We won’t be out of place at all.”

“Nope. Now hurry.” He hesitated for a second but then leaned over to kiss the corner of her mouth. It blazed to the ends of her toes anyway.

She was turning into a quick-change artist, that’s for sure. Back in her room, she hustled into her jeans and gave in to the instinct of opening the drawer and just running her finger over the leather cover of the Bible inside. Whatever strength she needed, whatever words she needed to find, she trusted God to provide. Leaving Hoop was painful, but it was for the best.

Looming clouds scudded shadows across the foothills, browning now in autumn, the mountains reaching high into the endless sky as Hoop helped her mount up. Both of them knew full well she could do it herself, but she enjoyed the physical contact, positive he did, too. A funny grief pummeled. Horses and wide open skies weren’t part of her California life. All those sunny days as a Colorado kid washed over her.

Hoop reined Alamo abreast of Crazy Horse, who had readily taken to the familiar path.

“All right. We’re alone now. Nobody around to hear our deep, dark secrets.” He gave her a crooked grin.

“No dark secrets, Hoop.”

“Then what?” He peered at her from beneath the brim of his Stetson in the way that had her breath catch in her throat and empty from her lungs. “Don’t deny. You feel something for me.”

She fought for air and finally smiled. “I do, Hoop. Oh, I do. What’s not to like? You’re hot and healthy, and a cancer survivor, too.” Crazy Horse’s hooves clipped comfortable across the rocky trail. “But I live in California. More than that, Hoop.” She fought for words now. “I promised never to give my heart. Not to anyone. It’s nothing personal. I can’t promise much of a future.”

Alamo pulled to a stop. “Mallie, nobody knows how much time they have. I’d take any time you could give me. Long or short. Any time at all would be worth it.”

Something flashed through Mallie’s mind. Rachel had said the same about Nick. Who was hale and healthy but in danger of death every day.

“I’d like somebody there for Ella. I’m not in the clear myself.”

She emitted a soft, sobby giggle. “We’d be quite a pair then, wouldn’t we? Besides, I can’t have kids.”

“I’ve already got one.” He replied, smug, pulling the arm not holding the reins across his chest.

“I know you want brothers and sisters for her. My treatments have put me in early menopause.” She reached out across Crazy Horse, and he took her hand. Her throat tightened along with her clenching stomach. In such a glorious setting and in company of a man prepared to give his heart, her own should be blossoming with acceptance, maybe even with a new promise.

But no. It could never be. She kicked Crazy Horse to a trot.

Unperturbed, he pulled up alongside. “Let’s take a walk along the creek. Ella’s favorite bridge is up ahead.”

Ah. Ella. The sweetest of hearts. Mallie’s teeth clenched as Hoop dismounted first to help her down.

“Mallie.” As she slid from the saddle, she slid right into Hooper’s arms, and he held her against his beating heart. Nothing mattered right now, nothing else, because he did what she’d waited for. His mouth closed over hers, searching and nibbling, bringing to her the taste of mint, of tomorrow. Her lips caressed his in response, arms clasping, blood roaring in her ears.

After luxuriating for longer than was wise, for they had no tomorrows, Mallie wrenched herself away.

“Hooper, you don’t understand. I’m stable now, but I am not going to get well.” She took his hand and headed toward the little bridge. “There are no good statistics for GBM. You call yours T.C. Well, my mine’s short for glioblastoma multiform. I admit I’m one of those who responded well. I’m grateful for every single day. But I don’t plan beyond my next blood work and MRI. Those three months are my only safety net. The only time I live a normal life. Then the date of the tests loom, and I freak again. And since I totally believe in love at first sight, I don’t date.” She stumbled over the words. “I can’t give my heart away.” Although she knew she already had. She barreled on. “I just won’t. And worse…”

He slowed next to her. “Worse?”

“I could never be the second mother that precious little girl loses.”

“Oh, Mallie.” He stopped and pulled her close again. No kiss this time. Just held like he’d never let go.

Finally, they drew apart, gazes not meeting, but as they headed to the burbling stream, she let him take her hand. She squeezed his fingers, maybe harder than she would have in normal times. How much numbness she had to perforate she couldn’t really know.

“OK. So that’s pretty much my life history.” She broke the silence that seemed heavy but not uncomfortable. Might as well tackle another miserable subject. “Tell me about Lynn.”

Down deep, Hoop sighed. The afternoon was cooling down quick, but the day was still something special. “All righty. I met Lynn through friends in Greeley. I was at a symposium on, ahem, artificial insemination and genetics.” Cheeks red, he cleared his throat as they hunkered against the rail of the bridge. “She was taking a class to update her teaching credentials.”

“Colorado girl?”

“Yep. Not a good part of Denver. She told me today that’s why she liked Hearts Crossing so much. Well, I mean, I don’t deny she knocked my boots off right away. Even before all this”—he waved his free hand up and down his body, and she knew right off he meant cancer—“even before my new creed of not wasting time, I’m not all that subtle. Don’t like waiting around, beating around bushes. But she had a teaching job she liked in Denver.” He sighed, his voice soft. “For about a year, we did the e-mail thing. I’d get to Denver on weekends when I could. Then she came here to Hearts Crossing the next Christmas and seemed hooked. We had a little wedding here the summer after we met. She kept busy as a substitute teacher. And then we had Ella.”

He turned with bleak eyes that soon softened. “If I’d only known, well, I gotta say I’d do the very same thing. That little girl is my world.” His fingers tightened. “But I do know there’s also room for somebody else.” He explained Lynn’s reasons for coming back to Hearts Crossing.

“So, Ella will have a mom.”

“Yeah. Not much of one, in my opinion.”

“But you have to give Lynn a chance.” The words stumbled into her head and across her tongue, but she had to say them.

Hoop frowned at her. “I know that, and I intend to. But it’s not gonna be warm fuzzies around here, um, tomorrow.”

“Hooper…” she started but he interrupted, quick but not rude.

“Mallie, you gotta admit it. Right now, we’re the only two people in the world.”

She felt the same and wanted it to be real, but it could never be. “No, we’re not. There’s Ella. And Lynn. Hooper.” As she spoke his name, he groaned, and she tried to smile. “I can promise you friendship. I am a real good friend. Even with my old boyfriend and guys I used to date.” She swallowed tears. “You should see it. My team for the brain cancer fundraiser walk—why, everybody I ever knew was in it. Almost two hundred people.”

“Mallie...”

“No, Hoop. You just said it yourself. This illness does it to us. We can’t waste time beating around the bush. I am certain I could fall for you. Hard, fast. Maybe forever. So I can’t let myself. We can be friends. That’s it. That’s all I can promise.”

“Mallie…” he said again, his arms open, beseeching.

“We can e-mail. Facebook. Call each other. That kind of stuff…”

“Phone calls? E-mail? You’d rather talk to a machine than…than me? I’m no good with computers.”

Unsure whether to laugh or to cry, she did both. Her bark of laughter was as real as the rush of tears. “You will be. You’ve got a twenty-first century kid. Sometimes one day is all we get. Now, I want to get back to the ranch. It’s just about time for cake.”

She ran back to Crazy Horse.

If he asked, she might just stay. She couldn’t give him the chance. But when he called out, she did turn around.

“Promise me. You won’t leave Colorado without telling me goodbye.”

OK, that was easy. “You got it, Hooper.” Why did his name taste like honey on her tongue? “I won’t leave without telling you goodbye.”

“And by the way, I think you’ve already given your heart, Mallie.”

****

Three weeks without her.

Life was pushing into Thanksgiving. Every ten minutes, Ella ran around the ranch singing some silly song about a fat turkey, and Ma busily sewed a Pilgrim costume for the kindergarten’s feast next week. Snow had fallen three nights this week, and would likely return to trap the bazillion folks Ma had invited for Thanksgiving dinner.

Tomorrow was Hooper’s birthday. The big thirty-five. And Mallie had vanished without a word. Even though she’d promised. His heart caved in for about the millionth time as he sat warming his feet at the fireplace in the big house, morning chores done. The heat from a mug of coffee tried to sink into his dead fingers. Dr. Schwartz had said nerves are about a hundred miles long, and it might take years for the endings to heal.

Yeah, he might not have years.

Worse. His ma and sisters all wore The Look. He knew it well. Kelley was home for a couple of days, and they had cooked up something for his birthday tomorrow, somehow intending to fix up his loser self with somebody they reckoned worth it. Worth him. Well, he wasn’t about to cave. Matchmakers had really started to annoy him. Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to weasel anything out of his daughter. Nobody had told Ella a thing because she couldn’t keep a secret if she swallowed it. But truth was, he didn’t want anybody but Mallie.

And as for Mallie… he’d gone to the flower shop in Promise where the sign in the window read Wildflower Junction was closed on Tuesdays. By the time he’d asked Kenn for Brian’s phone number because he didn’t have Mallie’s, he realized he wouldn’t push the keypad. Hooper Martin’s ego helped him decide he was done chasing down a woman who obviously didn’t want him. Once had been quite enough, thank you.

He sighed. Lynn’s barge into his life hadn’t caused too much of a ruckus, and for that he thanked God daily. She’d asked for and gotten forgiveness. Although Ma had been pretty cool, his siblings were kind of a work in progress every night at family devotions even though the Martin credo had always been about the F-word—Forgiveness. Rachel was smart, and a mother herself, totally on board. She’d worked out a generous visitation agreement and had assured Hoop that his sole permanent custody was not in danger.

So what was left to want?

Nothing but Mallie.

Mallie who had broken her promise.

Ah, well. She wasn’t the first woman to break a vow to him.

Or his heart.

His jaws clenched as the heat left his coffee cup, and his fingers chilled worse than ever.

Getting home from his honeymoon, all secure in his love, Kenn had wondered why Hoop didn’t call her.

“I won’t go chasing after a woman again.” Hoop could say those words in his sleep.

Speaking of Kenn, his happily-wed brother dashed into the big living room just as Hoop rose to lay another log on the fire. He turned to face him.

“You up to going to Posy’s Grove?” Kenn asked.

Hoop sighed, deep. Something he was getting good at. “I dunno. Gotta get Ella at school.” He felt his eyebrows rise. “What’s up?”

“Ma’ll pick her up. Christy needs some measuring done. For the benches she’s planned for the wedding grotto.”

“What?” Hoop couldn’t help it. “It’s probably gonna snow again later. Can’t it wait until springtime?”

“Apparently not.” Kenn hung his head, and Hoop got it. Kenn was suffering from newlyweditis.

“All righty, then. Let me get Alamo saddled up.”

“Nope. Get in my truck.”

Hoop shrugged, grabbed his jacket and gloves, dumped his Stetson on his new head of hair, and obeyed. Seemed easier these days than arguing with everybody’s nagging.

As they set off, Hoop blew on his hands mostly just for show. The day had warmed up a bit, melted all of the recent snowfall. It might be ten below in ten hours, but right now was all he needed to live for. The sight surrounding him never failed to thrill him.

He’d driven a covered wagon along this route a hundred times, never tiring of city folks gasping and grinning at getting to be pioneers for a few days. But now his mopes came back in a rush. Truth was, he was headed for a wedding spot, and he wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take.

When you knew, you knew. He couldn’t quite recall when he’d known for sure, but he did know God didn’t play games. Somehow, some day, it would work out.

Kenn turned off the main trail to what normally was a horse track. Sometimes on their longer wagon tours, folks rode or hiked this one to the grove, but rowboats were quicker. As if reading Hoop’s thoughts, Kenn chuckled.

“What’s that?” Hoop asked.

“A rowboat with Christy in it sure was the fastest way to my heart. Looks like you’ve got your work cut out.”

“Don’t get what you’re saying,” Hoop grumped, but his blood started to rush at the sight of Crazy Horse and Alamo up ahead, all saddled and ready, under a stand of ponderosa pine. A cough of surprise was all he could manage.

“What’s going on, Kenn?” At Kenn’s eye roll, Hoop let him have it. “I’m your big brother, foreman of this ranch, and I have some clout. What the dickens is going on?”

“Don’t know exactly. But you know the girls. It’s bound to be good.” Kenn dished out an elaborate wink. “They got Bragg to bring the horses out here in the trailer.”

Crazy Horse. As Kenn waved off, Hoop headed for the horses. His brain raced with memories of Mallie sitting atop that horse like she wasn’t a California big-city girl. Hope started to simmer because in his heart, the horse meant Mallie.

Mallie who had broken her promise.

Mallie who sat on a stump in front of the giant flat boulder Christy envisioned for an altarpiece. Like she was praying.

For a flash, he stood like a stone pillar, breath gushing, skin prickling and not from the cold. Then he started up. He knew how to walk soft so as not to spook cattle, and he reckoned she didn’t hear his footfalls. But glory be, she had to hear the thundering of his heart against his ribs.

Maybe it was his eyes watching her, maybe she could sense somebody was there, for slowly she turned around, and before he could drink in her beautiful face, she ran into his arms.

Her lemony scent filled his nose, and her arms were as tight around him as his to her even through their down coats. How he had survived three weeks without her life-giving energy he’d never know. His blood thudded in his ears.

Finally, he pulled back a bit and had to ask. “Mallie, what are you doing here?”

Her lips turned up in secret satisfaction, her cheeks red from more than the chilly air. “It’s your birthday.”

“Not till tomorrow.”

“Well, I wanted to be first to wish you happy birthday.” She pointed past the big boulder where, next to the stream, he could see a small foldout table and a picnic basket. A candle flickered, and he reckoned it was one of those silly battery ones.

“How’d you know?”

“Well, you might not do e-mail and Facebook, but Kelley does.” She raised her nose, smug.

He didn’t mention he’d found her blog and pored over it, crying and laughing and rejoicing. Oh, he wanted to be thrilled, but… “You never said goodbye, Mallie.”

“That’s because I never left Colorado.”

When her mittened hand grabbed his, he felt it to his toes in spite of the numbness and the wool. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

“I’m so, so sorry, Hooper.” Her fingers tightened. “Uncle Teddy had a stroke the night I got there, so I stayed on. Things have been absolutely frantic, and Auntie Jeanette needed me twenty-five hours a day. He’s out of danger now, but he’s all I could think of.”

Her words wounded him. “I should have been there, Mallie.”

“Believe me, Hoop, I know you’d have been there in a heartbeat.” She cupped his cheek. “But I needed to prove to my parents I can do things on my own. Here. In Colorado.”

In Colorado? She looked him full on. “Thing is, helping Auntie Jeannette, watching their faith guide them through, well, Hoop. I learned how even my short time at Hearts Crossing changed me. God makes everything easier.”

“So that’s why you’re here now. This is goodbye.” He didn’t ask. He stated in a dull thud of a voice, and his heart stopped.

She shook her head and leaned close. No way could he resist pulling her against his side where she fit perfect.

“No, Hoop. I’m staying to help out at the flower shop. And…” She lowered her eyes, bashful. “I’m starting up a little wedding coordinator business in Promise. Something low-key, but I know I’ll be good at it. More than that”—here she raised her gaze to his, and he read straight through to her soul—“I listened with my heart. I listened again to Rachel telling me just one second with Nick would have made it all worth it.”

With his knees doing that weak thing, he sat on the bench, and it was natural to pull her onto his lap.

“Auntie said much the same,” Mallie said as she cuddled close, and bliss covered him. “She said some people get just one whirlwind of love, some get a hurricane. But no matter how much or how long, it’s God’s truest blessing to a man and a woman.”

Hoop held his breath. It couldn’t mean…she loved him, could it? These past three weeks had allowed him to accept he’d fallen for her practically from the first second, but he’d never admit it out loud to loving her that fast.

Until today. He opened his mouth, but she wasn’t done.

“Hoop, even more, I remembered something your mom said to me when I was here. She told me about your dad passing. How blessed it was for her to hold the one she loved as he went to Heaven. Well, Hoop, when it’s my time to find Heaven, I can’t imagine anybody else holding me. Except you.”

Except you. The one she loved? Him? But he swallowed hard. When it’s my time…

“Mallie, this doesn’t mean…” Fear that her health had taken a wrong-way detour flooded him.

“Oh, no, honey.” She laughed her big joyful laugh, the pet name thrilling him. “I’m still status-quo. I’ll be going to California often to see Mom and Dad and for all my scheduled tests.” She paused for a minute. “And Dad has access to the corporate jet if, you know, if I need to get anywhere fast.” Then she blinded him with a smile. “To help Uncle Ted’s speech, he and I read two Psalms and one Gospel chapter each day. I’m learning so much, Hoop. Most of all, I learned why God had me be Brian’s plus one. It was, of course, to find my faith. But also…to find you.”

He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest, but she said the words before he did.

“This is a day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad.”

“Amen!” After a sacred moment, he couldn’t help a grin. “So we’ve got three weeks of dating to make up for. What do you reckon we should do first?”

“Tell me the story of this grove.”

“Later. I’m a guy. This works for me.” Quickly he stood, pulling her along and held her close. Her kiss tasted of lemons and springtime. Hmmm. Springtime. The perfect season for a wedding in a perfect little grotto with a creek singing nearby.

“What’s that grin for?” Mallie said in a dreamy voice when she opened her eyes, wide, so he could see himself in them. He fought for control.

“I’m hungry. Let’s eat. Then we’ll take that ride I promised you.”

“OK, but that better not be all you promise me. Hooper Martin.”

Like the rehearsal night, his lips sparked as he dropped another kiss on her forehead, promising his future and whatever forever the Lord had in mind.