The summons was sitting on the kitchen table when Grace got home from school. The official-looking letter from the New York Criminal Court shook in her hands as she opened it. The subject of the letter was, the State of New York versus Robert John Sampson.
The air rushed from her lungs as she saw the name. When she read that she was being called to testify at his upcoming trial, her legs buckled and she dropped her into the chair behind her. She sucked in a breath through the narrow opening in her throat and clutched the letter in her hand.
By the time Rose came into the kitchen, Grace was nearly hyperventilating. She ran to Grace and knelt in front of her. “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
Grace was still trembling when she looked up at Rose. She launched herself into the woman’s arms without saying a word.
“Shh, it’s okay, Grace. Whatever it is, it will be okay. I’m here for you.”
It will be okay. It was the first thing everybody always said, and it was so rarely true. It took a few minutes for her breathing to return to normal, and when she finally released her grip on Rose, she handed her the letter.
Rose read it.
“Who’s this Robert Sampson?”
Grace’s lower lip trembled and she hung her head, unable to look Rose in the eye as she told her. “He was a boy from my school. At the orphanage. He…attacked me one night and he…raped me.” She looked up at Rose, whose eyes opened wide and round. “And now they want me to testify against him. Rose, I don’t want to see him again. Can they make me go?”
Rose placed a hand on Grace’s cheek. “I’m not sure, sweetheart. I’ll call our lawyer and find out what our options are. But whatever happens, I will not let you go through this alone, do you hear me?”
After speaking to the lawyer, Rose informed Grace that Robert Sampson had been charged with attacking another girl before her and that, because of the violent nature of the attacks, he had been remanded to adult court to stand trial as an adult for the two crimes he had committed. Grace, unfortunately, would have to testify.
Christmas was fraught with tension, despite the generous stack of gifts she received. The nightmares she’d had after the rape returned, and she sometimes had to summon her old imaginary friend, Fiona, lying next to her, comforting her, in order to go back to sleep.
In early January, the trial date was upon them. Rose drove her to the courthouse while Grace sat silently in the passenger seat, too nervous to talk. The Peekskill Criminal Courthouse was located in the same building as the police department, and the memory of the night she was attacked slammed back to her.
Clutching her sides and squeezing her eyes shut, Grace wished she were anywhere but here. Rose pulled into the parking lot, then rushed around to open the car door for her and held her close as they walked arm in arm into the building.
Minutes passed like hours as they sat together outside the courtroom, waiting to be called. By the time the bailiff called her, she felt as though she might throw up. She shot a quick glance at Rose, who gave her a brave smile.
“You’re going to do fine, sweetheart. If you get nervous, just focus on me.”
Grace drew in a deep breath and nodded, and they walked into the stately courtroom together. All eyes turned to her as she entered, and she had to fight hard to control her legs enough to make it to the stand. She peered up at the judge and he gave her an encouraging smile as she reluctantly stepped up to the witness stand.
“Place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand,” the court clerk instructed.
With great effort, she raised her right hand and placed her other one on the Bible.
“Now repeat after me. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
Grace choked down the rising panic and chirped out an unsteady, “Yes.”
After being sworn in, the lawyer from the good side asked her a few easy questions. She answered them and felt her courage building. But when the lawyer asked her to point to the man who attacked her, fear rushed through her like a speeding freight train. Up to that point, she had managed to avoid looking at him.
She steeled herself, met Rose’s gaze for a long moment, and shifted her eyes over to the table where Robbie sat. He gave her a slow, smug grin.
The rage she’d been suppressing bubbled up inside her. She jabbed a finger toward him, her confidence soaring. “That’s him,” she said as loud and clear as she could. “That’s the man who raped me.” She never took her eyes off him and Robbie shifted his gaze downward.
The lawyer then asked her to recount the details of the attack. She knew this was coming but it was still difficult to relive the experience, and even harder to tell it to a room full of strangers. She focused on Rose and pretended she was the only one in the courtroom.
In recounting the details of the attack, feelings she hadn’t expected rushed forth. She was ashamed for what she’d done to Robbie in the snow cave that day. What he did to her that day had changed both their lives, but was she partly to blame? He would be punished for his actions, but…what about her?
Mercifully, the judge called for a short recess, and she ran to the restroom and threw up. Then she splashed cold water on her face and hid in a bathroom stall until it was time to return to the courtroom.
After the break, Robbie’s lawyer strode toward her. “Miss Adams, isn’t it true that you humiliated my client in front of the other children at school and accused him of something he didn’t do? Specifically, did you not pull his pants down to his ankles one day on the playground and tell one of the nuns that he was trying to assault you?”
She gulped. She had sworn to tell the truth, so help her God. “Yes, it’s true, I did pull his pants down, but I never said that he was—”
“And when my client was expelled from school because of your deceit, you stood by and allowed it to happen?”
She opened her mouth to speak, to accept her share of responsibility, but she was interrupted.
“Objection!” the good lawyer said. “He’s badgering the witness. Last I heard, pulling a boy’s pants down, while possibly a sin, is not against the law. Rape clearly is.”
“Sustained,” the judge said.
There were a few more questions, which took another hour because of all the arguing by the lawyers, and then Grace was released.
She skipped dinner that night and when she crawled into bed, she held Theodore Izzle and vowed never to think about Robert Sampson again. Ever.