***

The black and cream fur grew on my shoulders and back like a welcome blanket in the crisp night air. I shook to settle the fur, then stepped out into moonlit grays and blacks as clear as daylight to my wolf eyes. Rafe came out of the shadows to my left, strong and self-assured in his wolf form. The dark gray of his coat blended with the darkness around him, making him seem more a creature of the night than the wolves that waited for us down the small rise to the cave.

Rafe lifted his muzzle and howled a low, warm greeting. The wolves below joined him, eight cries of different pitches mixing in a way that made my blood run hot and cold at the same time. I lifted my face to the embrace of the moon and answered the call with a howl of my own. The voice, so unlike me yet a part of me in the fullness of the tone and the hunger to belong and be part of something special again, left my throat and entwined with the others to create a complete tapestry of sound in the haunting night.

The forest around us fell silent, and our voices reverberated through the trees and the mountains around us long after we had stopped. The alpha wolf below turned and seven wolves vanished into the trees. The mother wolf was at his side and I wondered which wolf had returned to the pups and how she dared leave them with another animal. Rafe bumped my shoulder with his own, his expressive golden eyes questioning. I gave a soft snort and started down the decline. He caught up, then passed me with the abandon of a puppy who has just found the joy of the run. I smiled inside and ran to catch up to him.

The pack flew through the trees, winding in and out of windfalls, dry creek beds, and across meandering streams that cut trails through the unforgiving forest floor. Rafe and I trailed to the pack's right, and it was amazing to see how, without word or motion to direct them, the wolves flowed as one through the forest, never missing a step or touching each other though their shoulders were inches apart. They reminded me of a flock of birds circling and swooping in flight, their hearts one as they enjoyed just being alive.

We loped deep into the mountain range. Rabbits, mice, and the occasional ermine darted out of our way, but the wolves ignored them, intent on something else. I tried to find the scent they followed, and suddenly the smell of wild, warm meat, pounding blood, and the promise of a full belly filled my nose. I missed a step and staggered in surprise at the strength of the wolf instinct that filled me.

Rafe glanced back, then slowed to let me catch up. He watched me from the corner of his eye, his gaze questioning, but I couldn't voice the emotions that warred inside me.

The alpha let out a short bark and the pack suddenly split ahead of us. Rafe and I followed the right-hand branch around a grove of trees and down into a valley where a massive herd of elk lifted their heads and stared at our sudden entrance. The lead elk, an older animal with gray around its velvet nose and more spikes than I could count at the instant on his horns, raised his head and bugled a warning to his herd. They took off in thundering flight ahead of us.

The joy of chasing down prey and feeding those dependent upon us filled my bones and pounded in my ears. I joined the pack as they culled a young buck from the herd, a foolish animal who struck arrogantly with short horns while throwing hooves right and left. It was obvious by the cast of his head and the certainty in his eyes that he thought he could take on the pack, something my wolf consciousness knew was a mistake even though he towered high above us and his hooves struck the rocks with the strength of a jack hammer.

The rest of the herd left the young buck behind and soon it was only the nine of us against the huge beast. He backed against a jutting rock to protect his backside and struck out with black hooves and antlers that my instincts warned were deadly. I paused out of reach, knowing that I was far out of my skill range and suddenly doubtful that I wanted any part in the animal's death.

The alpha dove under the antlers and leaped for the animal's throat. The elk turned at the last instant and the alpha succeeded only in tearing skin from the animal's shoulder before jumping back out of the way of his striking hooves.

Rafe took advantage of the distraction and darted around the other side. He lunged for the elk's back leg and drew his fangs down the animal's hind quarter. The elk let out a bugle of pain and limped heavily on the leg when Rafe dove back to safety. The elk swept his horns Rafe's way, missing the werewolf by merely inches.

Two more of the pack attacked when the animal looked away and latched onto his side, driving him to his knees. The alpha dove under the sweeping horns once more and latched onto the elk's throat. The elk's eyes rolled and he tried to get back to his feet, but the weight of the wolf kept him down. The alpha's jaws closed while the wolves around him brought the elk to its belly. The alpha stepped back and blood poured from the animal's throat.

I looked away as the rich iron scent filled my nose and the animal's gurgling breath died away. The sound of tearing flesh and hungry animals feeding met my ears. I studied the ground in front of my paws and tried to remind myself that I was a human in a wolf's body, and that I didn't want to join them even though my stomach growled and my soul longed for the unity that pack feeding brought.

A chunk of meat fell at my feet and I looked up into Rafe's calm, beautiful golden eyes; a knowing look shone in them as if he understood the war I fought inside. His muzzle was dark red with blood and his breath smelled of warm life and food. He nosed the meat closer to my feet as if to tell me that it was alright to give in and just be a wolf for a while. I let out my breath softly, then bent and began to eat. Rafe turned and brought back another hunk of meat for himself, then settled on his belly next to me to eat his share.

The meat filled me as food in my human form never had. Though there was only one flavor, it was rich and tender from lush mountain grass and cold streams, tender bushes, and golden sunlight. I struggled to eat only my fill as the wolf instinct urged me to gorge in times of plenty against moments of lack. The other wolves' bellies were distended by the time they were ready to return to the meadow.

We followed the pack back to the den and I wondered why none of the wolves had brought meat back, but when the pups came out and pawed and danced around their mother at the scent of food, she regurgitated partially-chewed meat for them to feast on. Another wolf dropped a mostly-clean leg bone, and after the pups and the older light gray wolf that had stayed behind to watch them had eaten their fill, the pups began to play tug-o-war with the bone.

Rafe sat near the trees and watched the pups, a content expression on his face. I settled next to him and enjoyed the simplicity of no one asking how I was doing or if I had been able to control myself. The younger wolves played with the pups while the alpha and his mate lay next to the den entrance, occasionally licking each other's muzzles in a gesture so tender it was as obvious as a couple holding hands or hugging to see that they loved each other.