Chapter 10

“I can't believe you did that.”

Rafe turned over on the cot in Meg's operating room and gave me a tired smile. “What?”

I glared at him. “You know what. You need to take better care of yourself.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Are you referring to the cougar or the government suit?”

I blushed at the thought that I was really the one who had gotten him into all of this. I dropped my gaze to my hands. “I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.”

“Colleen.” He waited until I looked up at him again. His gaze was serious. “I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.”

I blinked at the tears that suddenly pricked my eyes. The cot squeaked, then Rafe was crouched next to me, one hand across his stomach and the other hovering just above my shoulder as though he was afraid to touch me.

“Are you okay?”

The fact that he was worried about me after all he had been through made me feel even worse. “You should be in bed,” I protested.

He shook his head. “I've spent too much time there already. You're leaving in a few minutes and I don't know what I'll do with myself when you're gone.” He eased himself down to the floor and leaned against the wall next to me with an outlet of breath that was the only sign of pain.

“You could actually take care of yourself,” I pointed out.

A smile played about the corners of his mouth. “Where's the fun in that?”

I rolled my eyes and leaned against him. He lifted an arm gingerly and put it around my shoulder. “I'm going to miss you,” I said. I didn't know how to tell him just how much it was going to destroy me to be apart from him. I kept telling myself that I was too young to be so in love, and that there was no way I could feel so strongly about him after such a short time, but my heart still ached when I thought of the plane ride I would take in a few minutes and the distance it would put between us.

“You remember the whole wolves mate for life thing we talked about?” Rafe asked, his tone funny.

“Yes,” I said. I held my breath for his next words.

He fell silent for a minute, then glanced at me. “Wolves don't do well separated from their chosen mate. Often, they refuse to eat until they're together again. They won't hunt or take care of themselves. I saw a wolf let himself starve to death when his mate was killed in an avalanche. He wouldn't move from the spot where she died.” He tipped his head against mine. “I'll starve without you.”

“Not with Mrs. Carso's cooking,” I said, forcing a light tone.

He gave a small smile. “There are other ways to starve. If life loses its purpose, no moment is truly lived. You have to love to live, and my love is leaving.”

My heart caught in my throat. “I don't know how you say the things I feel so eloquently. I can't even voice my thoughts and you define my soul in a sentence.”

He turned his lips to my hair and his warm breath lightly brushed my face. I inhaled his scent of cedar and rain and committed it to memory. “I guess I've waited so long to speak to someone I care about that I have too much to say.”

I smiled and shook my head.

“What?” he asked.

“It's just the right amount.”

He breathed deeply with his face in my hair and let out the breath with a satisfied chuckle. “What a pair we make.”

I smiled at the wonder in his voice as another tear escaped down my cheek.