As I sat in church and listened to him (Chris) speak, I thought about the doors that have closed, but more importantly about the ones that have opened. I know in my mind that in many ways Chris’s injury has been a blessing. That he has an opportunity to shine and to make a difference in the lives of so many people that he would not have had otherwise. To God alone be the glory.
~Terry Norton, CaringBridge, October 16, 2012
CHRIS FINISHED all of his classes in December 2014, and Deb and I moved him out of his dorm for the last time a few weeks before Christmas. Moving Chris out of Luther was like strapping myself in to an emotional roller coaster. I felt so many sentiments on the drive up, thinking about his time at Luther, our expectations for him when we dropped him off the first time, his accident, and the resulting total upheaval of our lives.
He’d lived in his dorm room and in the “cluster” for the past three-and-a-half years, from the beginning of the 2011/2012 school year through the fall of 2014. The cluster provided the only room on campus that was accessible, and because of the quality of therapy available in Decorah, the accessibility he had to the facilities and campus, and the friends he had around him, he stayed every summer. He’d never moved out after getting settled in.
After packing his things in the van and taking a long glance around the empty room and the cluster for the last time, we all stood silent, overcome by emotions, both happy and sad. Chris faced so many hurdles while living on campus and attending Luther College. He’d come there full of hope and excitement, ready to earn a degree and help bring the football program back to glory. He’d left after ten weeks on a stretcher, come back after ten months in a wheelchair, and was leaving campus a full grown man, ready to face whatever life threw his way.
Pulling away for the last time, I knew Luther would always trigger a colossal range of emotions for me. As a family, we’d experienced every emotional peak and valley during his more than four years at Luther.
As with most kids moving out of college for the last time, Chris was a different person than the one we’d dropped off in the fall of 2010—not just physically, but in every way possible. During his time at college, he’d learned to live as a physically handicapped person, discovered his career passion, made more friends than I’d ever have in my lifetime, touched lives, impacted thousands, and fell in love. It was hard not to see the blessings that walked hand in hand with the heartache on our journey down memory lane.
“If he had not been injured, he probably would not have met Emily, started a foundation, and been an inspiration to so many young people. God is using Chris, working through Chris for His will.”
~ Connie Norton, Chris’s Grandma
We had lots to look forward to, not only the upcoming Christmas holiday with family, but also our oldest daughter, Alex, getting engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Bill McManus. Bill asked my permission and blessing to propose on their New Year’s ski trip. It was really difficult to keep the news a secret for several days.
Deb, Chris, Katie, Emily, and I also visited my mom in Iowa City the day after Christmas. We had a great time visiting with Mom, shopping, eating out, watching movies, and playing cards. We weren’t expecting the van to break down on the way home from Iowa City, or having to tow it back home. Alex, who hadn’t made the trip because of work, had to come and get us. The two-thousand-dollar bill to have the van fixed ended up being a very painful but necessary expense.
Unfortunately, the van wasn’t ready when it was time to move Chris and Emily to Michigan where he’d planned to work with Mike Barwis at Barwis Methods for the winter and spring. Chris had spent nearly a year communicating back and forth with Barwis and researching the facility, Mike, and their clients. He felt time spent there was vital for reaching his next goal of walking across the stage at graduation in May.
I had watched a YouTube video with Mike Barwis speaking and introducing a client of his who later walked. From the video, I knew Mike was Chris’s type of guy—inspirational, a motivator, and a positive person. Knowing the environment Barwis created and the outcome they typically achieved, I knew Chris would love working with Mike to realize his goals. Chris responded well to encouragement and sports/coaching type people and environments. He loved being pushed hard and was willing to do his part.
After Chris researched Barwis Methods thoroughly, and made the trek for a face-to-face visit and assessment, we knew Barwis Methods was the right place for Chris and our best option for him progressing to the level he wanted to attain.
Chris, Emily, Chris’s friend Brock, and I left home with a U-Haul trailer, stopped in Emily’s hometown to get Emily’s possessions, and stayed overnight in Chicago. Deb left later and met us in Chicago after the van was repaired. We all drove to Michigan the following day through rain, sleet, and a little snow. The apartment they’d rented was nice, but it wasn’t much fun moving in during a rain and sleet storm. Deb, Brock, and I left for home a few days later, and we drove through a terrible snow storm with visibility so poor that we ended up staying overnight in Iowa City at my mom’s and driving home the following day.
Once home, my parental worries reared their ugly heads, worries I’d buried under the mountain of details it took to get Chris and Emily moved to Michigan. My biggest concern about them spending the winter and spring in Michigan at Barwis Methods was how far they would be from home without a lot of support from family and friends. Deb and I worried about Emily shouldering everything herself without us there to provide some relief.
By January, winter was in full swing, and I felt uneasy about Chris and Emily getting around in bad weather in a new and unfamiliar city. Chris also had lofty expectations for his progress under Mike’s tutelage. As his father, I was concerned he’d be discouraged if he fell short. I knew he’d give it his all, but I couldn’t stop the anxiety train that began its journey the day he was born. Because it was important for Chris and Emily to move to Michigan and face this challenge together, I wasn’t willing to put a damper on their enthusiasm and voice my concerns.
One Sunday night early in January, not long after moving Chris and Emily to Michigan, Deb gave us a scare. Just before ten o’clock, we were getting ready for bed when Deb said her jaw hurt and she felt a little nauseated. She asked Alex for some aspirin, and in discussing Deb’s symptoms, Alex immediately recognized that Deb was exhibiting the classic signs of a heart attack in a woman. Deb was a health nut who ate right and worked out a lot, so my initial reaction was disbelief, but I knew not to question the nurse in the family, so we went to the hospital right away. As we got close to the hospital, Deb started feeling pain under her arms, and she became hot and restless.
Things progressed quickly at the ER. They ushered her through admissions, performed an EKG, and determined she was in fact having a heart attack. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when the ER doctor gave me her diagnosis and told me if we had kids close by to call them and have them come to the hospital right away. As if living in a nightmare, I called Alex and Deb’s sister and brothers, alerting them to Deb’s condition, but I waited until the following morning to call Chris or Katie. Chris and Emily were too far away to make it home, and Katie was hours away at college. I knew they’d both be upset and want to come, and I couldn’t take the chance of them driving late at night while emotional.
Doctors surgically implanted a stent in Deb’s artery, clearing the blockage. Deb awoke from surgery groggy, but alive and kicking. The stent did the trick, and after extensive testing and four days in the hospital, she was released to go home with a laundry list of precautions, new medications, and a renewed appreciation for everyday life. I made sure she got plenty of rest, tried to do more around the house, and farmed out her duties for February’s SCI CAN event in Des Moines to willing friends.
Deb continued to improve, the SCI CAN event went well, and we raised over $70,000. We enjoyed visiting with Chris and Emily at the event and seeing for ourselves the progress he’d made in the month and a half since we’d dropped him off. Before they left to go back, Deb and I felt good knowing Chris and Emily had adjusted to life in Michigan, they’d made new friends, gotten to know the area, liked where they were living, and Chris continued to progress physically. They’d even gone to two Detroit Pistons games and the Iowa/Michigan basketball game in Ann Arbor.
In early April, Deb and I went to visit Chris and Emily for a long weekend. I was really pleased to see how happy they were and how good they felt about Chris’s progress during his time at Barwis. Deb and I watched Emily take care of everything Chris needed effortlessly. Seeing how happy and contented they were together filled us with joy. Physically, Chris’s posture and balance had improved significantly. He stood in the family room of the apartment with Emily a few steps away, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought he was a college athlete standing there like anybody else.
“I’ve often asked myself, ‘How would I respond if I was in Chris’s shoes?’ I don’t know that I would have his strength, determination, grit, and faith.”
~ Benny Boyd, Former Assistant Coach, Luther College
On the trip home, Deb and I were filled with optimism for their future. Our son was happy and in love, making great strides in his recovery, and filled with hope. We wouldn’t see Chris until graduation at the end of May, and while we prayed he’d meet his goal, we knew the journey was worth the effort no matter the outcome. I reached across the console and grasped Deb’s hand, our eyes meeting before I looked back at the road, and with that brief glance I felt at peace, enveloped in our heavenly Father’s loving embrace.