I came out of the Internet room feeling strangely buzzed. Yes, I had missed the boat and was stuck on a strange island in a foreign country. Yes, I was without credit cards or money. But I was betting on a turtle fight—a sea turtle fight—which would ensure me a comfortable night in one of the island’s premier establishments and a safe trip home. How cool was I?
Suki was sitting in the lobby with her arms across her chest and staring at the ceiling.
“I’m glad you’ve rid yourself of that bigot,” she said as I came out.
“Uh-huh. Anyway, I’m going to try the phone one more time. Wait here, okay?”
“Yeah, but it’s almost seven o’clock. I don’t think we’re making that ferry. Should I get us a room for another night?”
“Nah, I have a plan. We’re going to stay someplace nice tonight, and tomorrow we’ll get the early boat for Barcelona and we’ll get into the city well before Ocean Term does.”
“But how …?”
“Trust me.”
She made a face and sat down.
I went out to the pay phone down the street from the hostel. All the shutters on the little winding street were open, and for once I took a minute to look up at all the wrought-iron work on the old buildings. It smelled like a lot of people’s dinners were being prepared. I felt good, and I thought, no way could a guy like Rob take Flan away from a guy like me. I resolved to call her, and set the situation straight.
I dialed the familiar number of the house on Perry Street and listened to the normal, comforting American dial tone. It rang five times, and then a guy’s voice picked up and said:
“Talk to me.” It was Rob. My heart lurched. He was still there?
I fought the impulse to slam the phone down, and told myself that the only way I could figure out what was going on was to play nice. It was also the only way I was going to find out where the hell my mom was.
“Rob, I’m glad I finally got ahold of you.”
“Jon-a-tin! I’ve been missing you. Did you get my e-mail?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, it was good to hear from you. Sorry I’ve been so out of touch, this program is, like, really hectic.”
“Su-pair! Cute girls?”
“Um, sort of. Listen. Have you seen my mom?”
“Yes, I’m staying with her! I love your apartment. Très chic.”
“But recently. Like have you seen her yesterday or today.”
“No. Because, she went to a ranch.”
“A ranch?!”
“Yes. Cómo se llama. Canyon, pienso que sí, Canyon Ranch.”
“Oh, dammit.” I should have guessed this. My mom always goes on some weight-loss or detox retreat in January. “When did she leave?”
“Yesterday. Jon-a-tin, what is the matter?”
I drew in a deep breath. I was really, really hating this guy, and it wasn’t easy to hide it. “Listen, this bad thing happened and I got separated from the trip. Which would be fine, except that I forgot my wallet on the boat.”
“Mallorca.”
“Oh, I love Mallorca. Ibiza is far better, but Mallorca, very good.”
“I’m sure it’s lovely. But I need to get some money or I’m screwed. Did my mom leave you a number where she can be reached?”
“Hmmmm … I think so. At home maybe. But I don’t have it with me.”
I slapped my forehead.
“But you need money now, anyway, right? I’ll go home tonight and get the number at the ranch and e-mail it to you. But in the meantime, I just wire you some money so you can get a hotel room, okay?”
Moronic as this may seem, my impulse was to tell him forget it, I just bet one of my favorite possessions on a sea turtle named El Viejo, I don’t need your help. But that of course was not what I did.
“Are you sure? That would be great,” I said, although in my head I was screaming, What are you doing with Flan?!
“Yeah, easy, how you say, no sweat? The Western Union is on Calle Aragon in the center of town. Every time I lose my wallet on Mallorca, Mama wires me some money there. They’re always open until eight during holiday. I’ll call right now, and you should be able to pick it up before they close.”
I looked at my wrist, then remembered that my watch wasn’t there anymore. But then, as though someone up there might actually be looking out for me, the cathedral rung quarter past seven.
“Thanks, man. I mean, I really appreciate it,” I said, although in my head it was, Flan would never like a sleazy bastard like you!
“Jon-a-tin, it is nothing. We are brothers.”
A voice came on, telling me I was out of minutes. I must have wasted them all trying my mother four thousand times.
“Yeah, well. This is super nice of you.” You backstabbing piece of shit!
“No sweat. Ha ha!” You already said that, you imbecile.
When we hung up, I went back into the lobby. Suki was sitting exactly as before. When I walked in, she said, “Jonathan, let’s just get a room here for the night. I’m going to turn cranky real soon.”
“No way. We’ve got so much cash coming to us. We’re sleeping in style tonight.”
Suki rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
“Listen, I’ve got to get to the Western Union before they close. You stay here, okay? The Savage is going to drop something for me. Give him this”—I handed her the passport—“and take whatever he has for you. And then wait for me.”
She let out one of those grunts of disgust that only girls can do effectively.
“Trust me,” I said for the second time that evening.
“Fine. I mean, what are my options?”
I nodded in agreement with her. She had no options.
“Whatever you do, don’t leave this place,” I called as I ran down the street.
It took me a while, but I found the Western Union. There was a line, of course, but I got there just in time. It was five after eight when a lovely, dark-eyed Spanish girl counted fifteen hundred in crisp euros for me and placed them on the counter.
“You are Rob Santana’s brother?” she asked, obviously impressed.
I shrugged. “I guess you could say our families merged, yeah.”
“He is one of the wildest visitors,” she said in her sweet, accented English. “Whenever he comes to town, crazy stories start going around. He’s with a different girl every season. You’ll tell him to call me next time he visits, won’t you?”
Not what I wanted to hear. Why couldn’t she see Rob the way I did, as a slimy guy who was really, really short on class? Flan would, right? I smiled weakly and promised to give Rob her number, and ran down the street back to the hostel. I fought the image of Rob as a romantic party boy the whole way. But if the lovely girl in the Mallorca Westen Union fell for the act, how would little Flan Flood hold up?
I almost managed to put it out of my mind. After all, everything was about to work out. I had fifteen hundred euros in my hand, and I was about to get three thousand more. By the time I huffed into the hostel lobby, I had psyched myself up again.
My rally died when I saw Suki.
She looked up at me furiously and didn’t say a word.
“Did the Savage come?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah.”
“Did he bring me an envelope or a package or something?”
“Yup. He had an envelope. He took it out, and he showed me all this money inside, and he said, ‘Here you go, little lady. You give this to Jonathan, and now why don’t you and I go for a dance.’ Well, I told him, ‘I am not that kind of lady.’”
“What happened to the envelope?” My voice was very small.
“I threw that passport at him and told him to go shove it. Which is what I’d like to tell you to do! I can’t believe you think a fancy hotel room justifies pimping me out!”
“Where’d the Savage go …?”
“Gone to hell I hope. You go, too, for all I care!”
I put my face into my hands and tried not to cry. I took several deep breaths, and then looked up expecting to see a very confrontational Suki.
I was wrong. Her mouth was frozen in a small, diminutive O shape and her face had gone white. We looked at each other for a long, frightened moment.
“Wait, pimping a girl out, that wouldn’t really occur to you, would it?”
I shook my head, ’cause no, it really wouldn’t.