14 Déjà Vu

I was lying in bed just looking at the ceiling, mentally channel surfing, when there was a knock on my door.

“May I come in?” my mother asked.

“Yeah.”

She stepped inside. The only light was from the full moon outside my window. “How are you?”

“I have no idea.”

“I’m sorry.” She sat down on the side of my bed.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m a hot mess.”

In the ambient light I could see that her cheeks were wet.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She was quiet for a long time. Then she said, “I’m not sure what I should say to you.” She took a deep breath. “I want to say I don’t think you should go. Maybe it’s just because of Taylor’s dream, but this one doesn’t feel right.” She sighed lightly. “I know that by saying that I’m making things more difficult for you.”

She wiped her eyes with her hands. “I also know I’m a hypocrite. I remember when I was the one in the cage and you came down to save me. You were so innocent. You had never even been in a fight at school, and yet you threw yourself into the Elgen’s world, taking on more than you could ever have imagined. I would have told you to stay home then, too. But you wouldn’t have.” She looked into my eyes. “I’m so grateful that you saved me.

“Honestly, Michael, anyone who bets against you is a fool. And maybe, right now, I’m being that fool, but I’m your mother. And I’m torn between protecting my son and letting my son be the powerful man who protects someone else.”

She wiped her eyes again.

“I know that there’s nothing I can say that will change your mind about going after Abigail. I guess all I can say is what I’ve said in the past—remember the why, and the how will take care of itself.”

I got up and held my mother.

She just wept. When we parted, she said, “Just come home. Please just come home.”