Chapter Four: Rimose

Rimose (adjective): full of cracks, chinks, or crevices

THINGS CHANGED AS SEASONS passed. Leaves turned to flaming reds and oranges, falling across the pavement. It was the last day before Thanksgiving break. Addison was gathering her books in her lower locker when Crisa offered her a ride.

“You don’t have to. I can take the bus. You probably have a huge party to get ready for since it’s the Friday before break and all.”

Crisa exhaled with a reluctant nod. She looked exhausted by the idea of having to go to another social event. “Yeah, but Venus is gonna miss you.”

Venus, Addison had learned during one of their drives, was the ironic name Crisa had given her Saturn. She smirked. “Fine. I’ll do it for Venus.”

Crisa gave a victorious hoot, clapping her hands as she all but dragged her out the door. Addison glanced down at their interlocked hands and tried not to let her heart race.

 

***

 

“Our special cran-raspberry turkey sandwiches.” Homer winked towards Crisa as he placed a tray on the small table between them.

Addison reached for her backpack to pay for the meal Crisa had likely ordered for them.

Crisa’s reflexes swatted her hand away, forking over her own credit card in Homer’s direction. “Don’t ever.”

The old man chuckled as he nodded “Of course. You tell me every time. Ms. Addison, you sure are lucky. Crisa cares a lot about you.” He patted a flabbergasted Addison on the shoulder as he hobbled off.

“Crisa!” Addison whined. “Why don’t you ever let me pay for anything?”

Crisa shrugged.

“That’s not fair.”

“Consider it my way of saying thanks.”

“For what?” If anything, Crisa was the one doing everything for her. She drove whenever they hung out, bought their food, and so many other things she could never repay her for.

“For not listening to rumors. You actually listen to what I say.”

Addison turned bright red, a bubbly feeling crescendoing in her gut.

Crisa took her hand, retrieving it into her lap as she toyed with her fingers. “In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want you to know how thankful I am. You're…” Blue eyes searched green for something Addison couldn’t discern, “the best friend a girl could ask for.”

Addison knew she was royally screwed. She was so tragically in love with her straight best friend.

 

***

 

They didn’t see much of each other during Thanksgiving break, but that was expected. Crisa had a very active social life. Addison, on the other hand, spent her holiday catching up with her sister, Annie, who was home for fall break.

“You look different,” Annie pointed out with a sly grin.

They’d just finished their Thanksgiving feast. The two sisters lounged on the couch, feet tucked under them as they huddled close. Grant was passed out in the loveseat with Nick, and the two men were snoring like bears, out cold for the night.

“Because I grew my hair out?”

Annie chucked a pillow at her as she rolled her eyes. “No. Not like that. I mean, you look happier.”

“I am.” She eyed her snoring uncles with a laugh, shaking her head.

“I was nervous about leaving you here after…” her sister swallowed, “everything.”

Addison reciprocated a sympathetic smile. “They would’ve wanted you to stay at college. School’s important.” Their parents had always emphasized the value of a good education.

“I know. But I still felt bad leaving you behind.”

“Uncle Grant is nice. And Nick too.”

“Yeah, but still…I wasn’t sure how you would hold up.”

“I’m okay. Are you?”

The older girl nodded back. The air settled, and things grew quiet.

“This is weird.”

Addison deflated. “Kinda makes you wonder what there is to be thankful for, huh?”

Annie placed a hand on Addison’s knee. “We still have each other, right?”

“That’s true.”

Addison tapped out an imaginary rhythm on her thigh, the type that was slow enough for an elegy. Her sister halted her movement, squeezing her hand in reassurance. Addison’s gaze drifted to the phone she’d been checking throughout the night.

“Am I gonna get to meet your girlfriend?” Annie nudged her side to capture her attention.

“What?”

“The person that has you all giddy.”

“I’m not giddy.”

“You’re really bad at being subtle.” Annie leaned forward with a conspiring grin. “So…who is it?”

“Just a friend. That’s all.”

“And is your friend female? Does she know you’re into girls?”

“Uhh. I haven’t…” Her phone vibrated for the first time that day. Poorly timed, she might have added. She snatched it to her chest, shielding the screen from Annie’s prodding.

“Is that her?” Her sister craned her neck as she tried to get a glimpse of the screen.

 

Crisa: Happy Thanksgiving, Addie! Thanks for always making me smile.

 

The look on Addison’s face gave everything away.

 

***

 

“Crisa Grayson spent her Thanksgiving at a food kitchen.”

“I heard she shot the turkeys that were donated herself.”

“I thought she was a vegetarian.”

“No way. She likes meat.”

“Hell yeah, she does.”

 

Addison cringed at the sound of two boys high-fiving over the comments.

 

***

 

Addison watched a worn-looking Crisa at the lockers with her typical friend group. Her eyes were sunken, and her hair was less vibrant than before the break. As the bell rang, the posse around her scattered and Addison approached.

“Hey, Crisa.”

The ragged look on the Crisa’s face dissolved, and she plastered on a grin. “Oh, Addie! Hey! How was your break?”

“Good. My sister came home from college, so we spent it catching up. How was yours?”

“Alright.” She sighed, brushing her blonde locks to cover the hickey on her neck. Addison gritted her teeth as she reminded herself that Crisa was her own person. She knew Crisa appreciated her as a friend. But that didn’t mean she could lecture her about her sexual activity.

“So, I know it’s kind of early, but I was thinking…what do you want for Christmas?”

“Nothing.” Crisa her cut off almost immediately.

Addison’s shoulders depressed at the harshness in her tone. “Oh okay.”

“Wait.” A warm hand enveloped her wrist. “I’m sorry. I’m just not completely recovered from the break yet.”

“Stay up too late reading?” Addison hoped to ease the situation.

Crisa snorted. “I wish. I could’ve used the escape.”

Addison frowned, wondering how many parties Crisa had been to over the last week. “You okay?”

She skirted her fingers over Crisa’s until their fingers intertwined.

The hard crease between Crisa eyebrows ironed out. “Better now.”

Addison gave a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I know, thank you.”

Addison shook her head. “It’s what friends do, right?” The words cut her insides, just a bit.

“What friends do. Right.”

 

***

 

Addison wondered if she should just get Crisa something anyway. But every time she tried to look for a Christmas gift, nothing seemed good enough. Sure, she could buy her a bunch of raspberry flavored treats, but Crisa deserved so much more than that. Crisa Grayson deserved the world.

Annie had returned home, flight landing just in time to avoid the blizzard that now coated the ground. “How’s Crisa?” The sisters huddled by the fireplace, enjoying the blessing of a white Christmas.

“She’s good.”

“What did you get each other for Christmas?” Annie always was rather blunt.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Saved by the bell.

“You’re kidding.” Annie grumbled as she rose to answer the door. “Only an idiot would be out right now.”

Addison scuttled after her sister.

“Umm, hi? Is Addie here?”

“Hey, Crisa!” Addison poked her head around the corner when she heard the familiar raspy voice. Which totally was not her favorite sound in the whole entire world.

Crisa was standing on her front porch bundled up in a large down coat. Faux fur lined the hood, framing her face. Her eyes peeked out from where her pink nose buried into the warmth of her scarf. She looked so cuddly.

“Crisa.” Annie’s eyes widened in recognition.

“This is my sister, Annie.” Addison introduced Annie to the walking marshmallow. “She’s home for break.”

“Hi.” Crisa flashed her signature smile from within her puffy shelter.

“Wanna come in? It’s freezing outside.” Annie side-eyed the younger Warren with a devilish grin. Addison prayed she wouldn’t say anything embarrassing.

“That’s okay. I just wanted to drop this off.” She lifted a green and red bag in her outstretched arms. Addison eyed the gift with curiosity, view obstructed by the vast amount of tissue paper.

“No peeking!” A mitten-enclosed hand covered her eyes. After Addison apologized, Crisa let her hand fall. The thumb of her snowy mitten glazed Addison’s cheek, setting it on fire.

“Th…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Crisa beamed. “Also, I know what I want for Christmas.”

“But it’s Christmas Eve. I don’t think any stores…”

Crisa chuckled. “It’s not an object. For my present, I want you to come to a party. New Year’s Eve. My house. Everyone at school’s invited. That means you too.”

“She’ll be there,” Annie answered for her.

Crisa cheered, launching herself at Addison. The cold seeped into her skin, but Addison’s insides felt warm. “Merry Christmas, Addie!” Crisa’s spritely voice filled her ear before kissing her on the cheek. Scratch that. She wasn’t warm. She was on fire.

 

***

 

The next morning, Addison and Annie sat by the tree. Their uncles, with sympathetic expressions, situated on the couch. It was difficult to open their gifts. A month ago, they experienced their first Thanksgiving without their parents. Now, they were experiencing their first Christmas.

“Thank you, both. I really appreciate it,” Addison said, as she unwrapped her final present. Well, almost final present.

Crisa’s gift was still tucked under her bed. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to open it. She knew she was going to love it, simply because it was from Crisa. But she wanted to wait until she could unwrap it in the privacy of her room. Especially since she was positive Annie would have a field day pulling her leg about it.

“Don’t be so formal, Adds. We’re family.” Nick gave her a playful smile.

“Okay.” She nodded. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Grant’s gingerly smile gradually spread from one ear to the other. “I wish we could have given you more, everything you girls wanted.”

Addison didn’t think any gift would be able to give her what she wanted, so she simply returned the small smile.

They began gathering the torn wrapping paper. Just as the last piece was being tossed away, Addison felt a vibration in her rear pocket.

 

Crisa: Did you name it yet?

Addison: Name what?

Crisa: Did you open your present?

 

Another vibration accompanied by a notification that read Crisa Grayson would like to video chat. “I’m gonna run upstairs real quick,” she announced, doing a terrible job of concealing her rising blush.

“Okay.” Her uncle nodded. “Say hi to Crisa for me.”

Nick nudged him in the side, and Addison heard Annie’s cackling laughter as she bolted up the steps. She shut the door behind her, trying to catch her breath.

“Hi, Crisa.”

“Oh hey, Addie!” Crisa looked up, directly into the camera, and Addison’s lungs convulsed. Even after calming her breathing, she still managed to get the wind knocked out of her. The image glitched, freezing on deep blue eyes, and Addison resisted the urge to take a screenshot of them. “Merry Christmas!”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas to you as well.”

Crisa chuckled. “Always so formal. How’s your holiday going?”

“It’s alright.” She hoped Crisa wouldn’t notice the sadness tinting her voice.

She noticed. “Yeah, me too.” The light in the blue eyes looking back at her dimmed.

“You sound sad.”

Crisa stiffened before her face broke into a forced smile. “Because I miss you.”

“You saw me yesterday,”

Crisa rolled her eyes, waving her hand in the air. “Specifics.”

Addison narrowed her brows, leaning to get a closer try and decipher the façade of Crisa’s expression. It wasn’t like looking at Crisa was a terrible experience, anyway.

“You gonna open your present? Or are you just trying to make me awkwardly stare until I get lost in your eyes?” Two bold brows wiggled playfully in the screen, directing the conversation elsewhere.

“I…I…I…” Addison’s mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish. Crisa kept giggling.

“Hurry up, Addie!” Crisa waved her hands, and Addison leaned over the edge of the bed to retrieve the gift bag.

“So impatient.” She jostled her head in mock disapproval, but couldn’t fight the smirk on her face. She placed the bag in her lap, removing each sheet of tissue paper until she got to the bottom. A crocheted, stuffed squid looked up at her with large googly eyes.

“Do you like it?” Crisa bit her lip.

It totally wasn’t absolutely adorable, and Addison didn’t completely swoon. No way. Not at all. “I do.” She beamed.

“Good. Because I have like, seven Band-Aids because of it.” Crisa held up her hands in the view of the camera.

Addison’s eyes widened. Crisa didn’t just buy her present, she went out of her way and made it.

“I love…” she caught herself just in time “it.”

She cleared her throat before reiterating. “I really love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Crisa said, voice softer than before. “So, what’re you going to name him…or her?”

“Her. She’s definitely a girl.”

“Okay. Her then.”

Crisa. Crisa. Crisa. Crisa. Was the only name that came to mind. She paused to think, chewing her lip as she did.

Crisa’s eyes pivoted down before rising to where Addison presumed, her own eyes were.

A mischievous spark twinkled in her eye. “How about Saturn? Since your car got ripped off.”

“Shut up.” Crisa scrunched up her nose with a smile.

Addison laughed. She tapped her chin again. Her eyes traveled from Crisa back down to the squid. Water, oceans, blue, floating, wandering, exploring, escapism. She tested the names before settling on “Drifter?”

Crisa’s face lit up in approval. “That’s perfect.”

Addison traced the round eyes of the squid with a languid hum. “She really is.”