Chapter Five: Filipendulous

Filipendulous (adjective): suspended by, or strung upon a thread

THE GRAYSON HOUSE WAS gigantic, practically a mansion. No wonder Crisa was always hosting parties. A house that big was almost monstrous for just two parents and their daughter.

“Hey, Addie.” A look of relief washed over Crisa’s features as she threw the door open. She offered out her hands to take Addison’s jacket, tossing it into a nearby room before closing the ornate door. “You look nice,” Crisa grinned.

Addison quirked a brow. She was wearing a simple, maroon turtleneck sweater. Crisa, on the other hand, did look nice. Stunning, even. A tight blue dress set off shapely legs and gentle curves while perfectly curled hair pinned to the side of her head, falling over her shoulder. The single-strap dress exposed Crisa’s collarbone and neck on the other side. Addison felt light-headed just at the sight.

“S…so d…do y…you.” She managed to trip over the three short words. She grimaced at herself as Crisa laughed, tugging her further inside.

“Mom’s at her own party, so the house is all mine.” Crisa had to shout over her shoulder as she navigated them through the sea of people.

Crisa really did invite everybody from school. It took a while for them to get around to wherever Crisa wanted to take them. The two were constantly being stopped by people vying for Crisa’s attention. She gave them all a polite smile or wave before taking a few steps, only to be stopped again seconds later. Addison admired the way Crisa carried herself around the crowd. Her eyes were friendly and welcoming, despite how exhausted she seemed to feel, or rather, look.

“Your house is huge!” Addison strained to be heard over the music.

Crisa shrugged. “Mom’s a doctor. Dad was an engineer. He still gives us a ton of money though.” The words seemed carefully chosen, and Addison eyed her skeptically. She didn’t think Crisa was drunk, but something about her behavior still felt off.

“I only take it when I need to. I paid for Venus on my own, remember?” She beamed with pride. Addison felt her own heart soar, previous hesitance long forgotten.

“Drink?” Crisa reached into her purse, pulling out a flask with a wiggle of her brow. She held the metallic container out to Addison in invitation.

Addison hesitated. She knew there would be alcohol at the party, but seeing it in person made everything seem so much more real. Here she was Addison Warren, lead percussionist, at a party with the entire school present. And Crisa Grayson just offered her a drink from her own personal flask.

“M…maybe later.” She wanted to be sober. She didn’t want to blur any memories.

Suddenly, two rambunctious brunettes emerged out of nowhere and placed themselves at Crisa’s side. Before she could process what was happening, Crisa was being tugged out of her seat and Addison caught the words “dance” and “Todd" tumbling from the posse’s drunken slurring.

“I’ll find you!” Crisa shouted with apologetic eyes as Olivia and Rylie tugged her away in a fit of hysterical giggling.

Addison watched the three friends dancing with their heads thrown back in laughter. Crisa looked so happy, and by extension, Addison felt happy too. At least, until she saw Todd grab Crisa by the waist before latching his lips to her neck. She frowned, fleeing the scene.

 

***

 

“Well here’s something I never thought I’d see!” Addison looked up from her place on the couch to find Ellie standing in front of her, cup of alcohol in hand. “Addison-goody-two-shoes-Warren at a party? This is going to be a happy new year!”

“Crisa said she wanted me to come.”

A crease stitched itself across her fellow drummer’s forehead.

“What?”

Ellie shook her head. “It’s just. It’s kinda like an open party. No one really needs to be invited, you just show up.”

Crisa had gone out of her way to request that Addison, specifically, would attend. The knowledge had her biting back a smile.

“Where’s your drink?”

“I don’t drink.”

Ellie snorted. “That’s not surprising. You’re too good. No wonder she keeps you around.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Ellie laughed, taking a sip of her drink. “Come on, let’s go watch beer pong.”

Addison followed her and tried not to think about their strange conversation. It was the only thing she could think about.

 

***

 

Crisa found her deep into the evening, right before midnight. Her hair was disheveled, and a sad expression adorned her face. Worst of all, she also sported a rather dark mark on her neck, which Addison now knew had been the doing of Todd Trenton.

“It’s later.” Crisa’s voice was flat as she shoved her flask in Addison’s direction, shaking it for effect. “Just refilled it. Friends only.”

Addison unscrewed the cap, taking a few cautious sips. She winced as the liquid burned down her throat before handing it over.

“That it?”

Addison took two more large swigs.

“That’s my girl.” Crisa nodded with pensive smile. Addison hated the way the words made her stomach whirl.

Crisa downed the remaining liquid. “Come with me.”

 

***

 

The first thing Addison noticed was the stark contrast from the grandiose tiles and golden chandeliers. Crisa’s guest house was full of a variety of books, little trinkets, and sculptures while the walls were covered in posters of beaches, mountains, waterfalls, and other exotic escapes.

“My room’s upstairs.” She kicked her shoes into the already chaotic pile of flats, Converse, and sneakers at the door.

Addison followed, lining her boots beside Crisa’s scattered heap. She was left in awe at the sight of Crisa’s bedroom. Glowing, white Christmas lights lined the walls and framed the ceiling.

“Not what you expected, huh?”

“No, but I like it.”

Crisa smiled, patting the space on the bed next to her. Addison tiptoed as she intruded into Crisa’s personal sanctuary.

“How do you like your first Crisa Grayson rager?” Crisa's voice dripped with sarcasm as she repeated the familiar Parkville gossip term.

Addison sewed her mouth shut to avoid babbling about how overwhelmed she felt.

“Yeah,” Crisa laughed dryly. “Exactly.”

She hesitated. “Crisa, are you okay?”

“Todd tried to make out with me again tonight, and I let him,” Crisa confessed bitterly. Hearing it hurt; from the fact someone’s lips were on Crisa’s to Crisa looking so distraught about it.

“Are you two dating?”

“Not really. It’s complicated.” She expelled a heavy sigh. When she spoke again, her voice was numb and empty. “Maybe we should. Like, it might be better if we did. Then I wouldn’t feel as shitty.”

Addison winced. “Do you always let him do that?” Her fingers sought to probe at the irritated skin Crisa’s neck. Thinking better of it, she drew the hovering digits back.

“Usually, yeah.” Crisa sighed, her own hand going to cover the ugly bruise. “I should be used to it by now.”

Addison wanted to tell Crisa she shouldn’t let him just use her like that, especially if she didn’t feel the same way.

Crisa seemed to read her mind. “People talk, you know?” Her response was filled with a sad acceptance of her current situation.

Addison didn’t agree with the social hierarchy, or the unspoken rules of who was popular and who wasn’t. But if this was what being popular required, she was grateful that she wasn’t. And torn that Crisa was. “Todd’s a jerk. You deserve better. Maybe an older man who’s more understanding. Homer?” She hoped to lighten the mood. Crisa broke into a smile, just for a moment.

“I don’t want him.”

“What do you want?” Addison dared to ask, the alcohol in her system giving her a momentary burst of courage.

“I don’t know. Just…not them. Can we not talk about this anymore?”

“Yeah.” Addison hated talking about it just as much, if not more.

A loud boom echoed from outside, and the two girls dashed to the window to look out over the frigid winter night.

Fuck, Frankie! She heard from somewhere near the house.

It’s your fault, Justin! Another voice retorted.

“Pretty sure Justin and Frankie found the fireworks.” Crisa chuckled, nodding her head in the direction of the driveway. Addison followed the signal to where most of their classmates had gathered.

Shut up. It’s about to be midnight. A third voice said, drowning into the chanting below...

10

Crisa inched closer.

9

Her finger pinky touched Addison’s.

8

She glided her hand atop Addison’s.

7

Addison’s heart beat like a scherzo.

6

Crisa interlaced their fingers, thumb caressing over her skin.

5

Crisa’s phone vibrated.

4

She ignored it.

3

Crisa’s blue eyes sparkled under the white Christmas lights hanging from her ceiling.

2

Was she leaning closer?

1

Soft pink lips touched down askew on her cheek, grazing over the corner of her lips. “Happy New Year, Addie,” she rasped.

Addison’s eyes widened to the point that they might have fallen out of her skull.

“H…happy N…new Y…year,” she blubbered. Her tongue wasn’t working anymore.

“You know what they say, right?”

“Huh?”

“What they say about midnight…the person you’re with at midnight is the one you spend the year with. Just think, Addie. A whole 365 days,” Crisa slurred.

Just 365 days, Addison thought. She wanted more.

 

***

 

Crisa disappeared at midnight.

I’m jealous of the guy that got to tap that.

I heard it was Todd Trenton. They were dancing at the party.

I heard she was all over him at the Christmas party too.

Lucky!

Hey Todd! Did you get a piece of Grayson at her party?

Wouldn’t you like to know?

 

Addison clenched her fists, biting her tongue. But deep down, she took comfort in the fact that this time, she knew the rumors weren’t true. This time, she was there, and she was the lucky one. Crisa had spent midnight with her. 365 days she reminded herself. Addison smiled like an idiot for the rest of the day.

 

***

 

A week after the party, Crisa ended up going out with Todd, and Addison chided herself for being such an idiot.

“So, Todd asked me out,” Crisa said that afternoon with defeated eyes. Addison almost wondered why she even bothered to show up. Crisa had her nose buried in her phone, texting who Addison assumed to be Todd.

“I heard.” The raspberry in her mouth tasted bitter.

Crisa gave a robotic nod. “We’re trying it out.”

Addison tried not to be jealous. She tragically failed.

“Good. I’m happy for you.” She wasn’t.

Blue eyes met green in a tense hold, both searching for something. When neither of them could locate it, Crisa tore her gaze away.

“Thanks, Addie.” Crisa gave her hand a squeeze, but her eyes stayed trained to the ground.

 

***

 

Crisa: Hey! Wanna sleep over this weekend?

 

The text message took her by surprise. It was the first weekend that Crisa would be officially labeled as Todd Trenton’s girlfriend. The term made Addison feel queasy. She looked up across the room to see Crisa’s hands in her lap, eyes trained on Mr. Jackson in feigned interest.

 

Addison: Me? Really?

 

She watched Crisa scrunch up her brow, typing back.

 

Crisa: Yeah you. Really.

 

Addison looked around the room to make sure that no one noticed she was no longer paying attention.

 

Addison: Will Todd be there?

 

Crisa straightened in her seat.

 

Crisa: No way. Are you crazy?

Addison: Oh. Okay. What about Rylie and Olivia?

Crisa: Nah. Ryles already has plans. And Livie and Bradley are going to visit their aunt this weekend.

Addison: I’ll be there. With raspberries.

 

She looked across the rows of desks. From the angle she was at, she could make out the smallest hint of a smile on Crisa’s face as she doodled away in her notebook. Addison decided to try doodling too. She ended up drawing a bunch of hearts.