Chapter Seven: Reticent

Reticent (adjective): disposed to be silent or not to speak freely, reserved; not revealing one's thoughts willingly due to reluctance or restraint

THE PERCUSSIONIST STOOD AT the back of the room watching Ms. Weston with less than focused eyes. An elbow connected with her side as she typed out a reply on her phone, and Ellie shot her an accusing glare. With a begrudging grunt, she placed the electronic device back on the music stand.

“Keep texting and you’re gonna miss your cue.”

She rolled her eyes, beating in time with Ms. Weston’s baton.

“I still can’t believe you’re friends with Crisa,” Ellie said when the section ended. Addison stuffed her drumsticks into her pocket with a shrug, ignoring the envy in Ellie’s tone.

“It’s not something I thought I had to share.”

“Why? It’s Crisa Grayson! You could be so popular!”

Addison didn’t want popularity, and she wasn’t using Crisa for social status. She genuinely liked Crisa. She really liked Crisa, though 'like' probably wasn’t a strong enough word.

Crisa had been on her date with Todd, texting Addison about how boring it was to watch him play video games. She also told her how much she'd rather be snuggled on the couch with Addison while her uncles whistled show tunes in the kitchen.

Times like this made Addison’s insides flip and her heart scream. She wished Crisa would realize she deserved better. She didn’t have to settle for a lowlife who only dated her because he was popular, and she was popular. But the high school cliché lived on, superficial as it was.

 

Crisa: Todd just tried to get handsy with me. He had his hand on my leg and was like…moving it up my thigh.

 

Addison’s insides clenched. She managed to tilt her stand away from Ellie’s wandering eyes awaiting a break to come.

 

Addison: Are you okay? Her fingers rushed during the next eight bar rest.

Crisa: I pushed it away before he got up far enough. It was way too close.

 

To the scars, the drummer realized. Crisa let only Addison get that close. She wished Crisa would spare her the details. But at the same time, Addison knew why Crisa wanted to tell her. Needed to tell her.

 

Crisa: You’re at rehearsal. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.

 

Addison let her sticks clatter to the ground.

 

Addison: No! It’s okay. You’re more important.

 

Even if it was just a text, she could feel her cheeks heating at the bluntness of her confession. The dots floated for a long time, indicating that Crisa was writing, and then disappeared. Addison sighed, resuming carrying the beat for the orchestra. She tried her best to focus on the piece, really, she did. But then Crisa sent her another text and all bets were off.

 

Crisa: Your hands are softer than his.

 

She laid her drumsticks on the ledge of the music stand, taking her phone into hesitant hands.

“What’re you doing?” Ellie hissed.

 

Addison: Probably because I’m a girl.

 

A careful test. More dots, but no reply until the orchestra finished the cadenza.

 

Crisa: Yeah. I know.

 

Addison’s heart ached. Even through a text, the two words sound sad and yearning.

 

Crisa: I’m probably gonna leave soon. Todd’s ignoring me anyway. Text me when you’re done.

 

Addison bit her lip and did her best to concentrate for the rest of rehearsal. She didn’t do very well. But none of that mattered two hours later when Crisa was sitting on Addison’s bed with Drifter in her lap. She threw her head back in laughter as she used the squid’s tentacles to drum against Addison’s thighs, arms, and face. Of course, Addison let her, because Crisa sounded so free and so happy. Addison was free and happy too. Todd who?

 

***

 

“Todd wants to go bowling for Valentine’s Day.”

Addison looked up from where she was squatting at the bottom of her locker. Crisa was standing above her, bag over her shoulder, and her normal posse nowhere in sight.

She grimaced. “That sounds, uhh, fun?”

“Seriously?” Crisa rolled her eyes, pretending to dry-heave. She held out a hand to hoist Addison to her feet.

Okay, so confirmed. Crisa Grayson hated bowling.

“I’d rather go to Homer’s.” Crisa continued to wallow. “But not with Todd, obviously.” Blue eyes shyly met green.

“We still could.”

She pleaded to the universe that Crisa would say yes, agree, and drop Todd. Preferably forever.

“I already said I’d go. It’s supposed to be a double date with Olivia and Lance.”

“Oh.” Addison frowned, unable to mask her disappointment.

‘We could make it a triple?” Crisa suggested. “Got any plans?”

“You know I don’t.”

Crisa seemed relieved by her response, breaking into a smile at her answer. She dug her toe into the ground. “Would you come along?” she hesitated. “Or uhh, is there anyone you want to bring as your date?”

The drummer’s green eyes latched onto vulnerable blue. “No one I can think of.” Addison bit her lip in anticipation of the response. Crisa’s shoulders relaxed.

She nodded. “Okay. Maybe Ryles will go too so you won’t be the only single one.”

 

***

 

Crisa picked Addison up that evening, and the pair drove to the alley to meet up with the rest of the group. Venus’ motor droned as the radio blasted a bizarre conglomerate of indie acoustics and classical symphonies.

“Todd didn’t ride with you?” Addison asked, as they backed out of her driveway.

“Can’t I have you to myself for a while?” Crisa teased, but her eyes were genuine. “I’m going to spend the next two hours with him anyway.”

Addison sighed, nodding her head.

“Hey.” Crisa glanced toward the passenger seat. “Can you open the glove box for me?” Her eyes trained on the road.

Addison complied, opening the latch. “What am I supposed to be looking for?”

“There should be a box.” There was a hint of pink in Crisa’s cheeks.

Addison rummaged the storage compartment until her fingers encountered a long jewelry box. Her first thought was that it was a watch of some sort for Todd. Her second thought was not to be jealous. Her third was that she already was.

“For Todd?” she asked, gutted.

Crisa snorted. “Open it.”

Inside the box was a necklace with a golden A charm on the end.

“Still think it’s for Todd?” Addison’s heart went wild.

They rolled up to a stop light, and Crisa held her hand out, curling her fingers in gesture. Addison passed her the jewelry piece, placing it in the blue-eyed girl’s expectant grasp. Crisa unclasped the chain, while Addison rotated in her seat and held her mane to the side. She could feel the hairs there rising and the sensation of Crisa’s breath hitting the base of her neck and cold fingers brushed against her skin. She turned back around in her seat.

“Done,” Crisa’s eyes dropped to Addison’s mouth, and then to her collarbones where the necklace rested. Her breath shuddered, and her eyes landed on thin, pink lips wedged between pearly white teeth.

Crisa’s sapphire eyes sparkled as she reached into her shirt, pulling out a similar gold chain. A C rested above her chest. She didn’t speak, but her smile was shy and said everything Addison needed to hear.

 

***

 

“I guess we should go in now.” Crisa sighed when they pulled into the parking lot, no longer able to postpone their date. She tucked the necklace under her shirt and Addison did the same, zipping up her coat to brave against the cold. And other things.

Upon entry, the rest of the group was already waiting. Todd pushed forward and pulled Crisa into his arms, leaning in for a kiss. Crisa turned her head, eyes on Addison, and gave him her cheek instead.

“My lips are cold from walking outside,” she deflected.

“Well, I know how we can heat them up.” He pulled her closer. Crisa looked uncomfortable, but no one else noticed.

“You two are so cute!” Olivia squealed.

“Gross.” Rylie chuckled.

“Maybe later.” Crisa pushed a hand to the boy’s puffed out chest, which immediately deflated.

“Addie.” Crisa turned with a forced smile plastered on her face, raising her brow in signal. “Let’s go get shoes.”

“We’ll meet you at the lane,” Addison offered to the group.

Crisa took her hand and led her to the counter with fingers intertwined. She felt Crisa give her a thankful squeeze, and butterflies hurled from her stomach.

 

***

 

When they rejoined the group, Olivia was sitting on Lance’s lap, typing the names of each bowler into three teams.

Team 1: Crisa and Todd

Team 2: Lance and Livie

Team 3: Ryles and Addison

“Look good?” She waited for confirmation, finger hovering over the approval button.

“Almost.” Crisa pried herself from where the shaggy-haired boy had wrangled her onto his lap, approaching the keyboard and typed Addie.

“Now we’re good.” She returned to her boyfriend, balancing on the very edge of his knees while he tried to wrap his arms around her stomach. Addison clenched her fists.

She normally wasn’t one to judge others, but she couldn’t help studying the boy with disdain. Todd’s hands were grubby and rough looking, fingernails chewed and uneven. His greasy hair hung over his eyes, and there were wrinkles in his shirt.

She couldn’t understand the appeal. The bad-boy look was overrated. Addison valued hygiene much more–hygiene, and the smell of delicate shampoo, floral laundry detergent, and raspberry-scented body spray.

“Okay you two.” Olivia smirked at the couple sitting across from her. “Crisa, you’re up first. You can make out after you both bowl.”

Addison hated the way Todd’s face lit up at the suggestion.

“Get ‘em, babe.” He winked as Crisa sprung off him.

“They’re cute, right?” Olivia whispered to Addison when her friend was out of earshot.

“Yeah.” She tensed. “Adorable.” She tore her gaze away to focus on Crisa.

Crisa stood at the lane with mild disinterest before drawing her arm to release the ball. It veered into the gutter. The next attempt ended as unfortunately as the first. She let out a groan, returning to her seat.

“So dramatic,” Riley teased.

“Yeah, takes one to know one.” Crisa shot back.

“You love me,” she retorted.

“Yeah, but not as much as Livie.” Crisa rolled her eyes.

“Hey! Don’t drag me into this,” the third girl objected, snuggling closer to her boyfriend.

Addison felt a pang of jealousy as she watched the exchange. They were comfortable with each other. And with none of the strange tension that Addison felt when she was alone with Crisa.

“You’ll get them next time,” Addison offered, while Crisa looked down the lane with a scowl.

Todd took his place in front of the lane, reeling his arm back. The ball released with overbearing speed. The meathead puffed out his chest, asserting his masculinity with a cocky grin. Addison thought he looked ridiculous. When Addison chanced a look, Crisa didn’t seem very impressed either, despite Todd nailing nine pins. Rylie watching him was enough compensation. Olivia and Lance, on the other hand, were too busy devouring each other’s mouths.

“Get a room,” Todd jested. Olivia raised her middle finger, lips never breaking away from Lance’s. She grabbed her boyfriend’s t-shirt, pulling him harder against her mouth. He released a grunt and she moaned in response.

Addison watched them with wide eyes, both intrigued and mortified by their blatant PDA.

Crisa leaned over. “Ever been kissed like that by a boy?”

Addison shook her head. No boy. Not at all. No girls, either, really. “I uhh, I’ve never been kissed.”

Crisa’s jaw unhinged. Before Addison could ask what she was thinking, Todd let out a wild crow of a shout, pumping his hands in the air. He had bowled a spare.

“Did you see that?” He grinned, running to cup Crisa’s face and kiss her on the lips in victory.

Addison felt sick. “I need to use the restroom.”

“I’ll come with you.” Crisa stood.

“No, stay. I’m fine,” she said almost too quickly. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

She slunk off to the bathroom where she gripped the edge of the sink with her hands. Her heart felt like lead, though she knew she had no right. Todd was Crisa’s boyfriend. Crisa was his girlfriend. They were supposed to kiss. She clutched the metal A tucked under her shirt as she inhaled.

“I don’t blame you for being jealous.” The voice made her jump. She turned to find Rylie leaning against the doorway.

“W…what do you mean?” Addison stuttered. Rylie knows. Oh God, she knows and she’s going to tell Crisa, and everything is going to be ruined, and Crisa is going to think I’m such a creep and completely regret ever initiating our friendship and…

“Todd,” Rylie shrugged, oblivious to Addison’s internal panic, “he’s hot. Crisa’s lucky.”

Addison sighed with relief. “Umm, yeah, totally,” she agreed with a forced nod.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell.” Riley propped the curve of her hip against the sink. “Honestly, I’m jealous too.”

The two returned in time for Addison to take her turn. She picked the blue ball, slipping her fingers into the holes. She could feel a pair of matching blue eyes on her back, watching. It only made her more nervous. In the end, she bowled eight pins before settling in her seat. Todd's chunky fingers were now gripped around Crisa’s smaller ones. Addison shifted away.

“You okay?” Crisa asked, noticing the distance.

She gave a painful nod.

“Good.” Crisa’s free hand snaked into hers. Addison froze, eyes flitting over to Crisa’s date who sat oblivious to the entire exchange.

 

***

 

“Hey Addie?” Crisa said when Venus pulled into the driveway.

Addison’s hand was hovering over the door handle. “Yeah?”

Blue eyes searched green, stalled in time. Addison’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, unsure of what Crisa was thinking.

“Thanks for coming tonight.” It sounded like the last thing Crisa wanted to say.

“Of course.” Addison reached out to give her hand a gentle squeeze, but Crisa pulled her even closer linking her arms around Addison’s neck. Her breath staggered as she bonded her own arms around her best friend’s waist. They remained suspended in place until the car grew cold and Addison felt Crisa tremble.

Addison forced herself to pull away. “Hurry up and get home,” she urged, reaching over to turn the key in the ignition. The heater blasted to life, lukewarm air blowing blonde hair around them. The raspberry smell was intoxicating, and Addison mustered her last drop of herculean willpower to force herself to exit the vehicle.

“Have a good night, Crisa.”

“You too, Addie. Love you!” Crisa beckoned from the window, as she backed down the driveway.

The two words hung in the air, next to her hand which stayed frozen in the air until the little green car was out of sight. When she finally managed to get her legs to work again, she walked into the house and Grant’s grin.

“So? How was bowling?”

“I loved it.” I love Crisa.