Chapter Eighteen: Scintillation

Scintillation (noun): the act of sparking; to twinkle as the stars - a spark or flash

THEY WERE IN FLORIDA the morning Addison’s birthday rolled around. Addison woke to the same routine. Though ‘routine’ implied something more task-like than pleasant. But waking up next to Crisa Grayson was something she enjoyed. At the age of sixteen and at the age of seventeen. Still, Addison didn’t feel that much different. She was still the percussionist who hadn’t quite managed to find a way to tame her hair; the band geek who doubled as a straight-A student; and the cliché, hopeless lesbian who was in love with her best friend. So, no, nothing had changed.

“Who were you texting?” Addison inquired, noticing Crisa’s shifty eye movements fixating themselves on her phone. They darted from Addison’s face, then away to look anywhere but.

“Aria.”

Addison’s spirits plummeted.

Crisa bit her lip. “She says happy birthday.”

“How would Aria know about my birthday?” the percussionist questioned, taken aback with the new knowledge.

The tips of Crisa’s ears burned pink. “I might’ve mentioned it.”

Just as she made to speak, a knock resounded from the door. Crisa yipped, bolting to the doorway. She thanked the room service staff member, stuffing a few bills into her hand before claiming the tray loaded with three plates.

Addison eyed the additional dish. “What’s that?”

Crisa lifted the top to reveal a small cake with a poorly written ‘Happy B-Day Addie!’ written in pale blue icing. Realistically, it looked a bit pathetic. But to Addison, it was the best cake she had ever seen, especially with Crisa’s smile to accompany it. A duplicate smile spread from ear to ear as she basked in Crisa’s excitement.

“Make a wish!” Crisa proceeded to light an imaginary candle.

Addison laughed, pushing onto her hands and knees to lean over the cake. She closed her eyes, taking a moment to think before exhaling with a sharp puff of air.

“What did you wish for?” Her eyes fluttered open as Crisa husked her question with a voice raspier than usual.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

“Yeah, but you can still give me an idea.” Crisa peeked out from behind thick lashes. “Maybe I can help make it come true.”

“Probably not. I wished for the impossible.”

“Well, that’s depressing. You need a different attitude today!” Crisa berated her before dipping a finger into the frosting, smearing it on Addison’s nose.

Addison gazed cross-eyed as she attempted look downwards to view the damage. “Why? Because it’s my birthday?” She made an unsuccessful attempt to lick the icing from her face.

A toothy-grinned Crisa watched her struggle with the sticky substance before relieving her of the mess. Setting her utensil down, she swiped the icing with her index finger, sucking it into her mouth. Oh God.

“Well, yeah. But no.” Crisa smacked her lips, satisfied with the sugary confection. “Because we are going to the happiest place on earth.”

Addison racked her brain, trying to recall where she’d heard that phrase before. “Disneyland? Isn’t that a bit far?”

“Disney World.”

“Actually, Disneyland is the happiest,” Addison corrected, unable to stop the words from escaping her mouth. Crisa snorted, flicking her arm lightly.

“Fine, nerd. The happier place, how’s that?” Crisa poked her side.

Addison yelped, hand rising to ward off any further tickle attacks. “Why do you always do that?”

Crisa shrugged. “I like when you smile.”

The smile on Addison’s face only widened.

“Eat your breakfast,” Crisa scolded with flushed cheeks.

 

***

 

Annie: H

Annie: A

Annie: P

 

Crisa arched a brow at her as the texts continued to pummel her inbox.

“Annie” Addison managed to get in a brief explanation before becoming flustered. The constant notifications were preventing her from navigating to her settings so she could silence the device.

 

Annie: P

Annie: Y

Annie: B-

 

Crisa snorted in the driver’s seat as her phone continued to vibrate.

 

Annie: D

Annie: A

Annie: Y

Annie: !

 

She slumped in her seat, letting out a sigh of relief when the onslaught of messages finally ceased. Just as she thought the worst was over, her phone buzzed one final time.

 

Annie: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Any semblance of peace dissolved as Crisa erupted in laughter. “So, what’d Annie want?”

“She was wishing me a happy birthday,” Addison groaned, “excessively.”

 

Addison: Excessive, much?

Annie: Don’t be ungrateful.

 

She could hear the teasing tone even through the message.

 

Addison: I wasn’t. I tried to thank you. But every time I tried typing, you sent another text!

Annie: You love me.

Annie: And Crisa.

Addison: I do.

 

 

Her reply sent just a microsecond after Annie’s second text. She scowled as she imagined her sister cackling at her prank from her dorm overseas.

 

Addison: Not cool!

Annie: How’s that going, btw?

Addison: Fine.

 

She hesitated.

 

Addison: I told her I like girls.

 

The replies were immediate.

 

Annie: ASIDUNIWEUKJS ODJ!!!! WHAT’D SHE SAY!!?!???!!??!

Annie: WHAT’D YOU SAY!!???

Addison: Stop text-yelling at me!!!

Annie: Then tell me what happened!!

Addison: Nothing. That’s it.

 

Three dots appeared in a bubble before disappearing again.

 

Annie: You’re an idiot. Woman up and tell her you like her!

 

Her fingers hesitated over the keyboard before typing out the fears that had been eating away at her.

 

Addison: What if she doesn’t like girls? I can’t risk ruining our friendship.

 

Before she could read Annie’s reply, Grant’s face popped into the caller ID, accompanied by his ringtone. Crisa reached out to lower the volume of the sound system, allowing her to answer the video chat request.

The screen transitioned to a pixelated close-up of her uncle. The image cut off at the top of his hair and ended just below his line of sight.

“I don’t know how this darn…Oh! Hello, birthday girl! Look! We got you this.” She watched him shift, holding up an object out of frame.

Addison stifled a giggle behind the palm of her hand. “I can’t see. You have to move the camera.”

He tapped on the screen. “I what? How do I do that? I don’t see the…”

“Oh, for the love of…” She heard another faint grumbling, followed by the sound of a folding newspaper. The phone was presumably removed from her uncle’s grasp as Nick came into frame, arms outstretched.

“Hey, kid!” She watched him grab a stack of books before returning to his partner’s side. He propped the phone against the pile as the two men crammed themselves into the frame. Nick grasped Grant by the shoulders, positioning him just right.

“Better?”

Addison nodded.

Her uncle squinted at the screen. “Are you in the car?”

“We are. Crisa’s driving.”

“Hi!” Crisa shouted much too loudly for someone sitting less than two feet away. But Addison still found her antics adorable.

“Crisa? Oh! Put Crisa on! I wanna see her!”

She turned the camera around to flip over to Crisa.

“Hey Grant! Hi Nick!” Crisa offered them a hasty wave before having to return her attention to the road.

Nick smacked Grant on the bicep. “Stop distracting her! The girl’s trying to drive!”

“Oh! You’re right. Two hands on the wheel, Crisa. Be safe. You too, Adds.” Grant’s features grew stern.

“Where’re you off to?” Nick asked, hunching his muscular frame over Grant’s shoulder, leaning into the man.

Addison wished she had that. Her eyes pivoted to Crisa.

“We’re on our way to Disney World.”

“Nothing like celebrating being a year older by refusing to grow up. Are you excited?”

“Yeah.” Addison bit her lip as Crisa did a silent fist pump in the driver’s seat. “Crisa is too.”

“Heck yeah, I am! I’m gonna make sure Addie has the best birthday ever!” Crisa leaned towards the phone in Addison’s grasp, dropping a sloppy kiss on the back of Addison’s hand.

She fought off a grin, hoping her guardians didn’t notice.

“Thank you for treating our Addison so well,” Grant complimented as Crisa sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

“She deserves it.”

“Guys!” Addison pled for the trio to cease the embarrassing shower of attention.

“Okay, okay. Have fun, girls!” Nick blew her a kiss. “Give Crisa one for us as well.”

She felt the back of her neck heating at the thought of ever doing so. Exiting out of the video chat application, she returned to her sister’s messages.

 

Annie: You ignoring me now? Rude. Some sister you are.

 

Addison rolled her eyes.

 

Annie: Are you telling her? Is that why you aren’t answering?

Annie: Did you get your first kiss?

Annie: OMG! Are you making out?

 

She practically choked reading the last text.

 

Addison: No! Uncle Grant and Nick called.

Annie: Damn. That’s not as fun.

 

Crisa squealed. “We’re here!”

Walt Disney World: The Most Magical Place on Earth!

 

Addison: Gotta go! Just got to Disney!

Annie: SHE’S TAKING YOU TO DISNEY?!?!?

 

Addison switched her phone to silent.

 

***

 

The button was excessive, but Crisa insisted. “It’s my birthday and I’m spending it at Disney!” it read, complete with Cinderella’s Castle and glitter confetti. Crisa pinned it to the left side of Addison’s top, fingers hovering over Addison’s heart. She wondered if Crisa could feel it threatening to burst through her ribcage.

“There.” Crisa verged her finger over the rounded rim. “Now everyone will know.”

In less than an hour, Addison was wished happy birthday by six random strangers. One even bought her a balloon, which Crisa tied around her wrist. She felt childish having it bobbing over her head, but Crisa liked it so Addison didn’t complain. Shortly after, something caught Crisa’s eye. Addison almost tripped, trying to find her balance as Crisa tugged her by the thread of the balloon.

“Look! Dumbo!”

Addison frowned, expression faltering as she relinquished Crisa’s hand.

Crisa turned to the dejected brunette with brows furrowed. There was a pause, and then a flash of realization crossed her features. “Oh, Addie! Not you! It’s a movie.”

Addison lifted her gaze from the ground.

“You’ve never seen Dumbo?”

A blush creeped into Addison’s cheeks.

“What kind of childhood did you have?” Crisa tugged on the floating string to bop Addison with the balloon.

“Umm? A good one, actually,” she answered while the faintest sadness tricked into her chest. Despite the familial affection from the morning, she realized her parents wouldn’t be celebrating with her. Or ever again.

Crisa fell quiet, thousands of thoughts swirling behind her eyes.

“What’s Dumbo about?” Addison opted to change the subject, hoping to goad sunshine from Crisa’s smile again.

Crisa reached out and tucked a stray strand of Addison’s hair behind her ear. Her finger grazed the shell of Addison's ear. “An elephant that's born a little, well…he’s different. Special.”

“What makes him different?”

“Well, he has really big ears.” Crisa gave her earlobe the tiniest tug, blushing to herself before releasing. “And at first, it seems like no one would ever love him because of it, well, like except for his mom. But then she gets taken away for attacking the other elephants that made fun of her baby.”

Addison listened as Crisa’s hands shot out in all directions, blue eyes shining with reverie. “…And finally, he meets a mouse that teaches him to believe in himself and fly using his ears as wings. So, after that, everyone loves him.”

“Wait, what? That makes no sense.”

“No! It’s Disney! There’s supposed to be that sorta ‘magic’ to it.” She made air quotes.

 

***

 

The building sound of trumpets signaled the procession of floats. In an instant, a mob of people formed around them. Had they been anywhere else, with anyone else, Crisa would have stood tall, façade in place—the picture of complete indifference. Crisa Grayson of Parkville High School was much too cool for Disney. But Crisa? Just Crisa, was having a ball. And who was Addison to stop her from that?

“Who’s your favorite?” Crisa asked, eyes hypnotized by the princess parade.

Addison didn’t know all their names, but she knew enough.

“Cinderella,” she said instead, thinking of soft blonde hair and stunning blue eyes.

Crisa nudged her with a grin.

“What?”

“Your girl’s here.” Crisa jumped up and down, waving both arms at the float with the subpar looking blonde. In any other world, Addison would have considered the actress pretty. But in a world where Crisa existed, no one could compare, not even a professional Disney model.

Cinderella blew them a kiss, winking in their direction and pointing to Addison’s chest.

“She saw your button!” Crisa was thrilled. “Maybe you’ll find a princess charming here!” She was too caught up in her joke, unaware of the way the suggestion tugged at Addison’s heart.

“Maybe.” Addison willed herself to agree, toying with the chain of her necklace as the floats continued to go by. After two more celebratory wishes, Addison removed the button, stating that it was uncomfortable. She knew she was lucky. Crisa couldn’t just take off her Crisa Grayson persona. What people thought of her at school stuck. She was pinned to it. Burdened by it. Hated it. And Addison did too.

She glanced over at Crisa to her side, eyes bright and carefree. It may have been her birthday, but the trip meant something more to Crisa than it did to her. She was just thankful Crisa was willing to share her private vulnerability—raw and real. That, Addison decided, was the greatest birthday present.

 

***

 

Late into the evening a text from Crisa’s phone pulled them back to reality. Addison watched Crisa’s eyes widen before another incoming message was delivered. This time, Crisa’s smile faltered, thumbs hesitating as she tried to come up with a response. Addison studied her as she sighed and pocketed her phone. It wasn’t like Crisa not to reply.

“You okay?”

“My little Addie!” Crisa cried with a dramatic wail. The back of her hand connected with her forehead as she threw her head back.

Addison was taken aback by the abrupt mood swing. “Crisa?”

Crisa continued with her performance until Addison hissed. “People are staring!”

“Oh Addison, my baby, so big and so grown!” Crisa’s resolve never wavered and Addison had to commend her on her acting skills.

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised a single brow. She would have looked more serious had there not been a balloon around her wrist. Crisa caught her gaze before breaking character. She skipped over to the drummer, pulling her into a hug.

“Okay fine. You’re no fun,” Crisa accused with her arms still wrapped around Addison’s neck.

Addison shrugged, hands rising to rest on Crisa’s hips as she smiled.

“I wish we could freeze time and stay like this,” Crisa whispered, nails scraping at the base of Addison’s neck, tangling in her baby curls.

“You wanna be seventeen forever?” Addison decided to keep her response neutral rather than read into it. No use in giving herself more heart attacks than necessary.

Crisa appeared to be deliberating how to respond. “Well, no…yes. I just don’t want to be an adult yet but like…I want us to…never mind.”

Addison tried not to look too disappointed when Crisa shut down, shaking the thought away. “Are we…Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Addison saw right through it and Crisa tensed under her touch.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to risk ruining your birthday.” Crisa’s reply was vague as her heavy lashes masked the brilliant blue Addison had grown so accustomed to.

“How could you possibly ruin it?”

She could see Crisa fighting in her head before she stepped back. “I promise, I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Addison eyed her cautiously but knew not to push further.

 

***

 

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true. The melodies continued to dance through the air, as they joined the crowd in front of Cinderella’s Castle. The sweet smell of summer mixed with the scent of the clearing smoke of firework display. Addison was rendered speechless as brilliant colors launched into the night with timed accuracy.

She pulled out her phone, panning the camera across the sky before pivoting over the crowd. The lens found Crisa, magnificent rainbows refracting off her pale skin. Overwhelmed by Crisa’s beauty, Addison’s breath caught and she ended the video. Crisa laced their fingers in the way that always sent Addison’s stomach spiraling. She glanced away, refocusing on the fireworks overhead. Even the bursting lights dulled in comparison to the feeling she got every time Crisa looked at her. The display went on for ten minutes, but Addison spent at least eight of them focused on the colors reflecting in Crisa’s eyes.

 

***

 

The bathroom door opened, revealing Crisa in a t-shirt that Addison was pretty sure was hers. Crisa was singing to herself. Addison recognized the tune from the fireworks display. She smiled as she watched Crisa dance around the room, lost in her own world. For someone so adamant in wanting a ‘real’ ending, she sure liked the idealistic ‘happily ever after.’ Crisa Grayson was a heartbreaking paradox.

“Hey, Addie.” She flopped onto her stomach with a playful ‘oof.’ Raspberries and vanilla warmed Addison’s senses. Her eyes darted to the outline of inviting pink lips, lingering on the small beauty mark just above them. They always looked so soft.

“Addie?” Crisa pinched the percussionist in the side, causing Addison to jolt back with a yelp. “You’re not listening.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked what you were doing while I was showering.”

“Going through pictures.” She angled her phone. Crisa scooted closer, resting her chin on Addison’s shoulder to get a better look. Each puff of breath she released tickled Addison’s neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

“You cold?”

“No.” Quite the opposite.

Blue eyes dashed between her eyes and the lower half of her face before diverting away.

“Uhh, so what other ones do you have?” Crisa asked, voice uncharacteristically tight.

“Just these.” She scrolled through another handful. “And a video of the fireworks.”

Crisa extended a dainty finger to press the ‘play’ button.

Muted pops from the speaker accompanied the streaks of cresting colors. Crisa’s eyes were transfixed to the screen, taking it in for a second time. The video continued to pan across the crowd before lowering and a faint “wow” could be heard. It ended just as Crisa turned to the camera.

The tips of Addison’s ears burned. She hadn’t realized she’d gasped the word out loud. “Umm, yeah. That’s all I got. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“It’s uhh, not as pretty as the real thing,” she covered smoothly.

Crisa glanced to the side, eyeing something on the nightstand.

“Can we watch it again?” Crisa requested with shimmering ocean eyes.

Addison nodded. She was even more nervous the second time.

When the video ended Crisa faced her, the faintest hint of panic in her eyes. “W…What time is it?”

Addison glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Midnight exactly. You tired? I can shower, and we can go to bed.” She was desperate for an escape of her own. But as she rose, Crisa grasped her arm, scrambling to straighten as well.

“Not yet.”

Addison turned to face her best friend. “Then what do you wanna do?”

An intense air suspended over them. Crisa shifted her weight onto her knees, until she was eye level with Addison. Sapphire orbs traveled between each of Addison’s, down to her lips, tracking up to her eyes, before dipping again.

“Addie?” Crisa uttered in a way that made Addison’s stomach flip.

“Yeah?” she barely managed to squeak.

“Can I…” Crisa’s bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

“Can you what?” Addison prompted with bated breath, heart thrumming in her chest.

“Can I kiss you?”

Was she dreaming? It seemed too good to be true. The drum player debated if she should pinch herself, or even beat herself with a pair of drumsticks.

“Never mind,” Crisa croaked, shaking her head. “Forget I said anything.”

“No!” Addison yelped, startling them both with the sheer volume in their quiet space. “Sorry, I mean.” She cleared her throat. She cupped Crisa’s face, painting her thumb along the crest of her cheekbone. Addison consented with a nod. “Yes. Please.”

The fear-stricken expression on Crisa’s face disintegrated as she leaned in. Crisa hovered for a moment, nose brushing against Addison’s. There was a sharp intake of breath, though Addison couldn’t differentiate which of them it expelled from. She was suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands. Her right was still pressed to Crisa’s smooth skin while the other hung limply at her side. She was so caught up in the thought, she barely registered the pair of hands snaking around her waist. And then her entire world exploded.

Her eyes fluttered closed as the softest pair of lips she’d ever felt molded to hers. Yes, they were the only pair of lips she’d ever felt, but Addison didn’t really care about semantics right now. All she cared about was Crisa.

It was everything she thought it would be, and somehow even more. And yet, it ended all too soon. Addison’s eyes remained closed, trying to hold onto the sensation tingling on her lips.

“Wow,” Crisa breathed.

“I…” Addison paused, at a loss for words. “I can’t believe that just happened.” She caught the smile on Crisa’s face twitch before correcting herself. “No, I meant it in a good way. Like, a really, really good way.” She rambled. “I’ve wanted that to happen for so long. I just never thought…”

Faint wrinkles formed in the corner of Crisa’s cobalt eyes, grin widening as she cut her off. “For someone who wanted to go into law, you’re really not the best at context clues. Maybe I should call you Dumbo.”

Addison stuck her tongue out and the two fell back into their comfort bubble. “I am not dumb.”

Crisa grinned. “No. You’re great.”

Addison blushed.

“You know, I was kinda hoping something magical would happen today,” Crisa confessed with a nervous chuckle. “Could I be any more cliché?”

“Crisa Grayson, you are so far from a cliché.”

Crisa’s eyes softened. “I could say the same about you, Addison Warren.”

Addison interlaced their fingers together and gave a squeeze to express her gratitude. It was returned as Crisa dove in for another kiss. The second one, less tender than the first, consisting of parted lips and was far less reserved.

Crisa took her bottom lip between hers, moving experimentally. Addison did her best to respond, making the best of her lack of experience. She applied a bit of pressure, feeling Crisa untangle one of her hands to thread into Addison’s hair. The action caused the slightest moan to escape from her lips and the kiss escalated. They took the time to explore each other, tongues gliding until her lungs felt ready to give out. The two broke apart with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Addison brought her index finger to trace alongside Crisa’s bottom one. Crisa nipped at her finger before releasing it with a smile.

“I…I really like you,” Addison professed. God, that felt good to say out loud.

“I really like you too.”

Addison felt like she was flying. Maybe I really am Dumbo.

“So, now that you’re seventeen, do you feel any different?”

She was still the percussionist who hadn’t managed to tame her hair, the band geek who doubled as a straight-A student, and the lesbian who was so in love with her best friend. So, no, nothing had changed.

“Nah. It’s pretty much the same,” she replied with a coy grin.

Crisa shot her a piercing glare.

“Well, maybe a little happier.”