Moms everywhere know the truth about the gifts they receive from their children. It’s not the certificate for a massage or a mani-pedi or that big bouquet of flowers that means the most. It’s the stapled-together book of coupons good for a hug or maybe, if you’re really lucky, cleaning up their room without complaining. Or it’s the handprint framed with Popsicle sticks that immediately causes you to do the ugly cry because you know that those little hands won’t stay that little forever. So when Mother’s Day rolled around one year, I just knew that my mama heart was going to be filled to the brim and I was ready for them to bring on those Popsicle sticks and coupon books and even another handprint or two. My sweet girl, bless her heart, can hardly stand keeping a secret and she had been giving me little hints all week long. “Mommy, I made something for you at school today and you are going to love it!” “Mommy, I made something for you and you are going to love it and I painted it!” “Mommy, I made something for you and I can’t tell you what it is but you are going to love it and I painted it and it’s a bug and it’s red with spots on it and it can stick to the wall!”
And while there were parts of my gift that might not have been completely surprising (like the hand-painted ladybug magnet!), there was one thing that completely caught me off guard. Instead of a card, my daughter’s teacher had helped each student write out what they liked about their mom. “I wrote this about you, Mommy,” she said as she handed me the card. I smiled as I saw her precious first-grade handwriting and how carefully she had written out each letter. I laughed to myself as I read the description of my hair as “brawn” and that I am “medium”-sized. My eyes welled up when I saw where she had written that I make her happy. But then, as I read the next line, my breath caught in my throat. My daughter had written, “My mom makes me feel important.”
I make her feel important. It was so surprising to see that she chose that particular word. And yet, it made my heart swell with joy to think that my sweet girl knows she is important. But then . . . well, then less heart-swelling thoughts followed. Is she getting a big head? Is she going to be one of those little girls who thinks that the world revolves around them? We don’t want her thinking that she’s too important, now, do we?
That fixed point on the pendulum? Well, that’s God. He is the equilibrium. He’s the center. And our value, our worth, our importance lies in Him.
You see, feeling important is something I’ve always struggled with. There seems to be a pendulum in our culture that swings back and forth. On the one side, you have little girls who are encouraged to believe that the world actually does revolve around them. They can do no wrong. They are encouraged to wear shirts with the word diva across them in big bedazzled letters. They are so beautiful, so special, so amazing, so perfect that when anything (or anyone) challenges that image, then it couldn’t possibly be through any fault of their own. Because they are so beautiful, so special, so amazing, and so perfect.
On the other side of this pendulum swing is where the “good” Christian girl tends to land. If I think I’m important, then it must mean I’m prideful and puffed up and need to pray for humility and to be taken down a notch or two or three. I need to serve more, do more, be more. If someone compliments me, I shouldn’t just say thank you, because that would mean I really thought that I had done something that warranted praise. And that would mean I’m not humble. And then I’d need to pray for humility again—and around and around we go. You think my home is pretty? Well, let me tell you about all of its flaws and how messy it is and how that thing that looks like it cost $1,000 I actually got on clearance for a nickel but I had to turn it around so it didn’t show the big scratch. In other words, let me debunk your thinking by telling you just how wrong you were to ever utter the words, “Your home is pretty.” And don’t even try to compliment me on anything having to do with my personality or my talents or my abilities or anything having to do with just me, because I will correct you so quickly that you will be convinced I am the biggest loser you’ve ever met! Can you guess on which side of the pendulum I find myself?
But here’s the thing about pendulums: They are made using a fixed point. And it’s this fixed point that allows them to swing back and forth from one extreme to the other while always coming back to that point. It’s the equilibrium position. The center.
When our fixed point shifts, our pendulum has to work harder to get back to that fixed point. Which basically means that neither extreme is right. But, really, when exactly are extremes a good thing? I want my girl to know how amazing she is. How incredible, how special, how loved, how important she is. So how do I keep her from being like those kids who try out for TV talent shows when they are horrible singers but have been told all of their lives that they are the next big superstar?
And how do I keep her from being, well, like me? How do I keep her from not knowing how to take a compliment? How to not be a martyr? How to not be a people pleaser? How to fully embrace the unique talents and gifts with which God has blessed her and to use those to glorify Him with absolute confidence? Here’s how: That fixed point on the pendulum? Well, that’s God. He is the equilibrium. He’s the center. And our value, our worth, our importance lies in Him.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. (Psalm 139:1–4)
He knows when we sit and when we rise. He knows every thought and every word before it’s even spoken. We are important to Him. We must be, right? For Him to sacrifice His one and only Son for us? (John 3:16).
I want my girl to know that as much as she is important to us (to infinity and beyond!), she is even more important to God. And if she is already realizing that at such a young age, then maybe we are on the right path. And maybe, just maybe, she can teach her mother a thing or two!
Welcome the month of May with these darling baskets that will give your friends and neighbors a sweet surprise when they find them hanging on their front door.
SUPPLIES
_ large metal soup or coffee can
_ electric drill
_ 3/16 drill bit
_ spray paint
(color of your choice)
_ ribbon
(color of your choice)
_ fresh flowers
_ plastic bag
_ rubber band
1 Clean inside of the can and remove the label on the outside, soaking in warm, sudsy water if necessary to be sure not to have anything still sticking to the surface.
2 Using your drill, make a hole on each side of the can. This is where your ribbon will be pulled through.
3 Spray the can in the paint color of your choice, making sure to work in a slow, back-and-forth motion for optimum coverage and no drips.
4 Once the can is dry, thread the ribbon through the first hole so that the end is on the inside of the can, and then tie a knot to secure it.
5 Repeat on the other side so that what you end up with is a handle for the can.
6 Place your flowers into a plastic bag and fill with enough water to cover the ends of the stems, then secure with a rubber band and tuck into the can.
7 Hang on the doorknob of a neighbor or friend’s door to wish them a happy May Day. Include a little note if you would like them to know it’s from you.
