He'd been shot once with a high-powered rifle. It hurt less than Natalia saying she didn't want to be with him.
Logan stayed until she cried herself out and fell asleep, then he shifted her off his chest and got dressed. Walked out of the apartment in a fog and headed down the street. He didn't remember calling Edgar, but he blinked and one of the dark sedans pulled up next to him, Benedict at the wheel.
He got in the car and stared straight ahead, unable to look at his brother lest his face crack and fall to pieces. "Don't say a word."
The lawyer looked at him for a long time, then sighed and pulled into traffic. Neither of them spoke until Benedict parked in front of the mansion, kept his hands on the steering wheel and looked down at the gearshift between them. "I'm sorry, brother."
Logan threw open the car door and strode into the house, slamming the door behind him.
Sorry didn't cover it.
For the first few days after he left her apartment, Logan's lion raged. Roared and paced in his head, desperate to get their mate back. Desperate to smell her, to touch her. To feed her and hold her at night. But she wasn't there. He couldn't go to her. She didn't want them. Didn't want him.
It hurt with a deep burn that gutted him unexpectedly throughout the day. He would be fine, in the middle of a meeting to acquire a new business or negotiate a new trade deal, and he would think of her blue eyes laughing at him, or the way she bit her lip when he touched her, or the scent of her shampoo all over his chest. And his heart would seize up, and the lion would rage to the surface, and he would have to excuse himself before he tore every person in the room into bloody scraps.
Benedict or Atticus would find him, drag him down to the gym, and make him lift weights or box until he was exhausted. Then he would drop face-first onto his bed — his empty, lonely fucking bed — and sleep until he had to get up again.
They still owned the restaurant. He couldn't bring himself to sell it. It was a cash cow, once Carter and Benedict finally straightened out the books. In fact, it was more profitable than several of his other ventures, so Benedict started looking into other restaurants to purchase and rehab. Carter managed the day-to-day at Natalia's restaurant, and though he gave regular updates to Benedict and Atticus, he said nothing to Logan.
And that was just fine with Logan.
He didn't want to know how she was. He didn't want to hear she'd moved on. Not knowing hurt less than knowing she loved someone else.
Two weeks passed, then three. Then a month. And still he could not bring himself to care about anything.
Logan sat in his office, staring out the window at the city. Not thinking. He did a lot of that, after Natalia. Just not thinking about anything. That way nothing would remind him of her smile or the curl in her hair.
The door opened and closed behind him, and Logan turned to confront whoever dared disturb him. He'd left strict instructions with his executive assistant that no one ... "Edgar. What do you want?"
His brother walked up and planted his fists on Logan's desk, leaning forward in a posture so aggressive that Logan sat back in surprise. Edgar's eyes blazed a kaleidoscope of golds and reds as he gritted words out between his teeth. "I'm done with this pouting bullshit. Pull your head out of your ass before I challenge you for alpha."
"Watch your mouth or I will beat the shit out of you," Logan snapped, sitting up.
"Do it. Go ahead. I'll even wait for you to hike up your big girl panties."
"Fuck. Off." Logan snarled, lurching to his feet to loom over Edgar. "I will throw you out this fucking window, lion."
Edgar squared off with him, practically bumping chests. "Stop moping around, you shithead, and go get your girl."
"She doesn't want me." The words hurt too much to say quietly. Instead they burst forth with enough volume to throw Edgar back a few steps. Logan followed, slamming his fists into Edgar's chest. "Don't you get it? She doesn't want us. We asked her and she said no. It's over."
"She said she had to fucking think, dumbass!" Edgar hit him back. "That's not a 'no.' That's not a 'never.' That's a 'not yet.'"
Logan picked up a chair and threw it into the wall, roaring. "You didn't hear her. You didn't see her face. It was a 'never.' And fuck you for bringing it up."
"I talked to Ruby," Edgar said. Ducked as Logan threw another chair, this time directly at him. He retreated but kept talking, hands turning dark as the nails grew into claws. "Natalia is miserable. She wants to talk to you but she can't. She doesn't understand any of this, but she's trying to."
"I told you — I ordered you not to talk to her." Logan ran out of chairs, blinded by rage and pain, and reached for the coffee table near the fireplace instead. It shattered in a cascade of glass against the wall a second after Edgar leapt to the side. Logan snarled again, his teeth growing too large and sharp to speak. "I fucking told you —"
"I talked to Ruby," Edgar repeated. He held up his hands. "She called me. The pack is ready to come after you because Natalia is a mess. She won't tell them what you did or what happened, but Rafe is about a week shy of knocking on our door. You have to fix this, Logan."
"How am I supposed to fix it?" The rage simmered but dissipated, until nothing remained by hurt and exhaustion. He rubbed his face, bending to brace his hands on his knees. "Damn it, Edgar. She doesn't want me."
"She was scared and confused and hungover." His brother approached slowly. "You can win her back."
Logan faced his brother, felt himself balancing on a knife's edge. "If she rejects me again, Edgar, it'll kill me. Or you'll have to kill me, because the lion will take over and I'll be gone."
"I've got a plan, brother." Edgar looked around for a chair and found only kindling and twisted metal. He scowled at his brother. "Now where the fuck do I sit?"
"Sit on the fucking floor, dick. You're the one who ran in here and pissed me off." Logan returned to his desk and gave his trashcan a kick for good measure. A spark of hope kindled in his heart for the first time in a month.