I woke with a massive headache beating behind my eyes, the result of crying instead of the mojo, for once. Lesson learned. Never admit to sleeping with a guy to pay him back for something nice. Maybe normal people didn't think that way. Maybe that was something else to thank Gran for. I took a longer shower than normal, just to avoid going into the living room and potentially facing the humiliation of talking to Benedict. Clearly he wanted nothing else to do with me — whether that was because of the sex or me being a monster didn't really matter.
I braided my hair back tightly and used a few loose bobby pins to secure more of it. I couldn't face the bears with random tendrils sneaking out. It seemed to be getting wilder with each passing day. I'd never had this much trouble with the hair before. My hands paused as I added another hairband to the braid. Just since I met Benedict.
Maybe he wasn't good for my control. Maybe he kept the ice back but made everything else worse. I scrubbed my face with cold water, furious with myself. Stupid mistake. Stupid ridiculous fairytale mistake. Monsters didn't get happy endings. Monsters died, the hero saved the real princess, and everyone lived happily ever after.
Tears burned my sinuses again, a terrible fiery pain compared to the icy one, and I washed my face again. Put on the mask that saved my ass in foster care, and marched out of that room like I didn't care about anything.
Ruby waited for me downstairs, along with her brother and Benedict. Their heated discussion silenced as I walked into the main area, and all three looked at me. I knew they'd been talking about me, arguing about me. Probably about who got to turn me over to Val. So I slung my bag over my shoulder and nodded to the three of them. Time to be an adult. Hike up my big girl panties and deal with the consequences of my actions. "Thanks for letting me stay, Ruby. I'm gonna go find Val before she finds me."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Rafe moved around the bar, eyes narrowed. "Why are you leaving?"
"Look, you guys don't need me around." I smiled at much as I dared. "The hyenas are going to start some shit over this, and I don't want it to blow back on you. It's fine. So instead of you guys having to come up with a reason to kick me out, I'll just go. Really, I —"
"What the hell did you do?" This time it was Ruby, but she glared at Benedict.
He shook his head, watching me. "Why are you really leaving, Eloise?"
"Like I said." My words cracked and I had to swallow a knot of regret. "I'm bad luck, this won't work out. I'd rather leave now than get booted later."
Ruby punched his shoulder. "You fucking ass, what did you —"
"It's not his fault." I had to pitch my voice over the growl emanating from Benedict, but I held up my hands to cut them both off. "It's my fault. I did something stupid. He's right to be mad. It's fine, Ruby. If you knew the truth, you wouldn't want me around either."
"Bullshit." Rafe strode after me and caught my arm, jerking me back. "I don't care what you think you did, you're not going on your own to face Val Szdoka or the bears. It's not right."
Before I could open my mouth to argue, Rafe disappeared. Staggered back the entire length of the bar, and instead Benedict stood next to me, scowling at where the wolf braced against the wall. "Don't put your hands on her."
Then he faced me and an old part of my brain told me to get very still so the predator wouldn't notice me. It was too late, though. His eyes were liquid gold as he caught my shoulders. "Damn it, Eloise. I'm not mad. I was confused, maybe a little hurt, but I'm not mad. Just don't do it again."
I stared at his chest, not entirely sure I believed him. I wanted to believe him so badly my chest ached, but my luck was never that good. My voice came out too small. "You said it wouldn't work."
The grumbly noise in his chest rolled through me and he drew me suddenly close to him, pressing his nose to my hair. "I don't know if it will work. I hope it will. We're learning, aren't we? I mean, you left my clothes this time. Stayed all the way to the morning. That's progress, right?"
I wanted to smile but my cheeks wouldn't work.
"You aren't a monster," he said, so soft I hoped Rafe wouldn't hear. Then Benedict kissed my forehead, spun me around, and marched me to sit at the bar in front of a plate of eggs and pancakes. "Now eat. We meet Kaiser in thirty minutes."
Ruby eyed the lion, then tapped the bar near my plate as I shoveled eggs into my mouth. "Okay, chickie. Be careful with the bears. Even with superman over there to help you out. Kaiser is a good dude, but some of his guys are a little ... unstable. Keep your sunglasses and your game face on. Got it?"
"Game face," I repeated around a mouthful of pancakes, nodding. "Right. What kind of bear is he?"
Rafe rubbed his shoulder as he stalked around the bar, shooting Benedict an irritated look. "He's a grolar bear. And he's still less of a dick than your boyfriend."
"Don't put your hands on a woman," Benedict said, sounding unruffled.
And I blushed, because he didn't correct the 'boyfriend' part. I cleared my throat. "What the hell is a grolar bear?"
"His ma was a polar bear," Ruby said. She poured coffee into a brandy tumbler and slid it in front of me. "And his da was a grizzly bear. So he's a grolar. Not a teddy bear, not a care bear — he's a real fucking bear."
I made a face as I sipped the coffee, almost burning my palms through the glass. "Will he help me?"
Ruby and Rafe traded looks, then she eyed me critically. "Probably. He's got a soft spot for troublemakers. Which is why he's got a handful of misfit bears around him."
"Great," I said under my breath. I finished inhaling the breakfast and paused for a moment, debating whether a burp would turn into something more substantial. Luckily everything stayed where it was supposed to, and I followed Benedict out the front to a waiting SUV.
He handed me some sunglasses, "Try these," and opened the car door for me.
I examined the glasses as he started driving, putting them on to appreciate the coverage and checking in the mirror to make sure they hid my eyes completely. Before I could thank him, Benedict fussed with the radio. "We've only known each other a few days, Eloise, but I would like to know you better."
"Oh." I cleared my throat and willed away a hysterical giggle that welled up in my chest.
Before I could compose myself, he slid a sideways glance at me. "Normally that's where you say you'd like to know me better, too."
"I, uh, would like to know you better. Too."
"Well, now I can't tell if you mean it." He sighed. "Shouldn't have given you those sunglasses."
I couldn't contain a smile, relaxing in the seat. "Nope. Rookie mistake."
He smiled at the windshield, and the rest of the ride, neither of us said anything.
He parked the car in a rundown part of town not too far from where Miles Evershaw headquartered his business. Benedict didn't get out right away but instead picked up my hand. He studied my fingers, examining my nails and palm and knuckles. His voice registered as a slight puff of air against my skin. "I don't know how it is with your people, Eloise, but mine usually know right away when they find someone they like. I don't want to scare you off by getting too serious. Just give me a sign when you're ready, okay?"
I watched him watching my hand. My fingers curled over his. "Okay."
"Okay," he repeated, then pressed his lips to the soft skin on the inside of my wrist. A chill ran through me at the warm brush of his mouth, the tenderness in his touch. Then he winked at me and got out of the car.
I hopped out before he made it around the car. "But I open my own door, got it?"
Benedict sketched an elaborate bow and offered his arm in a courtly gesture. "Shall we enter the bear's den?"
"Let's," I said with a laugh, though I didn't take his arm. Benedict shoved his hands in his pockets and ambled along beside me. As the late fall wind cut through me, I reconsidered snuggling up next to him, but it was a short walk to the crumbling building.