Dinner lasted an eternity. After a while, it seemed like no one wanted to be the first to leave the table, because that meant the night would be nearing its end and the morning on its way. And with the morning would come the Council meeting and the decision about Sophia's fate. Atticus kept drinking, hoping it would take some of the grief out of the hours they had remaining. Finally, Natalia pushed back from the table. "I'm falling asleep, so I'm going to call it a night."
Logan immediately stood and helped pull her chair back. "It's late, you need to rest." She smiled and waved goodnight, and Logan paused in the door only long enough to say, "We'll leave tomorrow at nine," and then he, too, went to bed.
The others retreated, Benedict still muttering about how he would punish Eloise for teasing him about Todd Evershaw, until only Edgar, Sophia, and Atticus remained. Edgar scavenged a piece of pie crust from the tin and shook it at Atticus as he stood. "Don't stay up too late. Everyone needs to be rested."
Atticus waited until his brother left to look at Sophia, his heart in his throat. "Hey."
"Hey," she said, eyes drooping.
"Let's go to bed." He picked her up, loving that she looped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, and carried her back to his room. She didn't let go even as he turned off the lights and lay her on the bed.
Sophia pressed her cheek to his. "Say you love me."
"I love you," he said, and kissed her.
She released him long enough to wiggle out of her clothes and pull at his, and Atticus complied. They didn't speak. His heart ached as he stroked her sides, her smooth skin, the gentle swell of her hips. She sighed and murmured under his hands, fingers working into his hair to draw his mouth to hers, and lifted her hips to meet him. Atticus entered her slowly, gently, and the soft sigh she made as his stomach met hers almost put him over the edge. He kissed her, nibbled down her throat to her shoulder, as he moved.
They made love in the dark, almost melancholy despite the passion that carried them both away too soon. It felt like goodbye. After he shuddered through his own climax, Atticus rested his forehead against her shoulder and tried to breathe her in. Tried to call the leopard to the surface so everything would go fine the next day.
Sophia lay beneath him, eyes closed as her fingers trailed up his spine, and almost smiled. "I love you too."
Atticus squeezed his eyes shut to block out regret. She would be fine. She would survive. They both would. He took a deep breath and went to his elbows over her, studying the strong line of her jaw and the delicate curve of her ear. His lips brushed hers, and he whispered, "You should run."
Her eyes flashed open, blue-gold enough to be the leopard, but it was only Sophia who raised her eyebrows. "What?"
"You should run." He swallowed regret and eased to the side, slipping away from her body and from her. "I can't stand the thought that you might not — that things might —" He shook his head, unable to force the words out. "I need you to live, Sophia."
"I need you to live, too." She faced him, brushing the hair off his forehead as she studied his face. "Atticus, how much longer can you live with your lion if I'm not here?"
He smiled and drew her close to his chest. "I'll be fine. He just needs to know that you're safe. Some day I'll find you and we can be together."
"The Council won't —"
"I'll worry about the Council." Atticus kissed her again, tasting a hint of the apple pie she'd had for dessert. "We'll be able to work with them once you're somewhere safe."
She searched his face for something, worry drawing lines around her eyes, and her lips pursed. "Atticus."
He nuzzled her nose. "I just want to hold you for a while, Sophia. Can you sleep?"
"With you? Always." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.
They lay in silence and though Atticus closed his eyes, he didn't sleep. From the way her breath hitched periodically, neither did Sophia.
Atticus waited until around five in the morning to move, to wake Sophia, and he waited in silence as she eased out of bed and crept around the room. He kept his eyes closed as he said, "The security guards will switch over at five thirty-five. There's a gap between five thirty-five and five thirty-seven. You can make it to the window west of your room. There's a balcony underneath; drop down to that and then down to the ground. Someone left a moped along the west side of the drive, and I'm pretty sure the gate will be open enough for a moped to squeeze through."
She leaned on the bed to kiss him one more time.
Atticus struggled to control the lion as he realized their mate would be leaving, but squeezed her butt one last time. "Be safe. I'll find you soon."
She said something he didn't catch, and then she was gone.
Atticus stared at the ceiling as the clock ticked into the silence, waiting for his phone to ring and Edgar to announce they'd caught her, and eventually an hour passed. Then two. He finally stirred and forced himself out of bed, moving on autopilot to get dressed and ready to face his brothers. In the hall, though, he paused to look at her room. After a heartbeat, he headed for Logan's office. He owed his brothers an explanation. They needed to know about his control issues. It might make them more sympathetic to Sophia if they knew Atticus suffered as well. Or maybe he wanted to punish himself for not being able to save her.
He walked, rigid with despair. Sophia was gone. Not even her scent lingered in the hall.
His feet took him through the house to Logan's office. Atticus surprised Logan, Edgar, and Benedict in the middle of an intense discussion. It stopped the moment Atticus appeared, and he held his breath. Benedict nodded to their older brothers and said, "I'll be at the office with the paperwork. Just let me know." As he walked out, he slapped Atticus on the shoulder — but said nothing.
Atticus looked at his brothers as Logan and Edgar studied him. At length, Atticus took a deep breath. "There's something I need to tell you."
His heart raced, pounded against his ribs, but his hands remained steady. Even as Logan's expression hardened and he braced for bad news and Edgar folded his arms over his chest. Atticus stared at the ground near Logan's feet and tried to use one of Sophia's breathing techniques to calm himself. "For the last couple of years, I haven't — my lion is restless. Unruly. I can't control him. The only time he rests is after I fight. If I fight enough, he sleeps."
Edgar rocked back a step. Some of the color drained from his expression. "You can't be serious."
"Yeah." Atticus plowed on, still not brave enough to look at Logan. "It keeps getting worse. So I had to fight more. Run more. Keep moving so the lion wouldn't take over. But it's getting to the point... I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't know if the next thing that puts him over the edge will be the last time I'm human."
"You didn't say anything." Edgar shook his head. "Atticus, brother. Why didn't you say something?"
"You needed me to be strong." Atticus cleared his throat and dared a glance in Logan's direction. His oldest brother's expression remained inscrutable. So Atticus went on, clenching his hands around sweaty palms. Finally, the lion quieted. "I had to protect the family and the business. If I didn't do it, who would?"
"Brother, we would have figured it out." Edgar paced away and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I can't believe you suffered that long. Man, I wish you'd said something. Fuck."
Atticus waited. Watching Logan watch him. He felt freer all of a sudden. Like someone had been standing on his neck and he finally knocked them off. Logan and Edgar knew he couldn't control the lion. They knew. They would make a decision and he couldn't do anything about it. He exhaled for what felt like the first time in years.
Logan took a deep breath. He braced his hands on the desk and leaned forward, head lowered. As if the weight of Atticus's admission pressed him down. The alpha finally spoke, sounding more tired than Atticus had ever heard. "And how does the leopard fit into this?"
"She calms the lion," Atticus said. "I don't know why or how. When she's there, we're not restless. We're not unhappy or angry or ready for a fight. Everything is ... settled."
The silence stretched. Tension built until Atticus feared everything would snap and he would face his brothers as lions. At least that kind of fight would silence his lion for days, if not weeks. Maybe forever.
He clenched his fists. Maybe he could explain. They didn't understand. "She told me I was out of balance. That me and the lion — that we're two sides of the same hand. I was holding on so tight to one side that the other went all out of whack. I'm trying to smooth everything out. She helped."
"And that's why you let her go."
Atticus froze as Edgar spoke, and he faced the security chief. "What?"
"You let her leave." Edgar sighed. "Come on, man. There are cameras everywhere. She took off a couple hours ago."
"You let a feral leopard into the city. And now I have to go tell that to the Council. I'll be held responsible." A gold sheen covered Logan's eyes, then they faded to blue once more. He pushed off the desk and gathered papers to shove into his briefcase. "Atticus, you're my brother and I love you. Your health — physical and mental — is more important to me than security or having an enforcer or running off trouble. Don't ever doubt that. We'll figure something out with your lion. We will. Later."
He picked up the briefcase and headed for the door. "Now, though, I have to stand in front of that Council and tell them what happened to the leopard. They will hold us accountable, and I don't know what that will look like. Someone will pay the price for letting her loose. If they catch you first, brother, I don't know if I can save you without all of us going to war with the rest of the city. We'll do it, but — the consequences will be a kick in the nuts."
He walked out without another word. Edgar paused in the doorway. The disappointment in his eyes nearly crushed Atticus. His older brother took a deep breath. "Look, Atticus. We could have helped you, but... Come on, man. You should have told us sooner. I don't know what's going to happen. Just stay inside. Don't leave the house."
Then he, too, was gone.
Atticus waited half an hour before the lion grew too restless to remain indoors. Edgar's warning rang hollow. The shifters would be fools to test the lion's den. It would be suicide for them to even attempt the fenced property around the mansion. He paced outside, trying to find a hint of Sophia's scent on the air. He'd almost found it when the wolves ripped through the house and surrounded him.