I grabbed a duffel bag and shoved my files into it, covering the paper with clothes and shoes. My heart pounded against my ribs. I'd left plenty of places in a hurry, but usually I had a better headstart. My mind raced to the next steps. How to get a car or a bus or train ticket, how to change my appearance and my scent, how I would get my last paycheck from the gym. Maybe I could call in a favor with John; apparently he was a coyote but his kind weren't part of the Council because of their overall bad behavior. The moped Atticus left me didn't have enough power to get me away fast enough.
The floor creaked and I whirled, picking up a lamp as a weapon.
Eloise raised her eyebrows from the doorway, arms folded over her chest. "What, you going to shine that light in my eyes?"
"I won't go back." I didn't relax my guard. She'd been nice to me, sure, but she was still Benedict's mate and they took the family thing seriously. I was on the outside of that nest, and she was inside. "Just say you couldn't find me."
"I'm not here to drag you back." She eased into the apartment, her gaze taking in every detail as her hair floated around her ears. "I'm here to tell you you're being a jackass."
"They'll kill me." The duffel bag hit the floor with a thud, and I set the lamp aside as well. "They will fucking kill me, and you want me to walk back in there?"
"They'll kill Atticus if you don't." Her gray-silver eyes betrayed nothing as she wandered into the kitchen. "They know he let you go, so now he's got to pay the price."
My heart sank. "He said they wouldn't do anything to him."
"He lied." Eloise shoved her hands in her pockets and ignored the ringing phone in her bag. No doubt Benedict, trying to find her. "He loves you and wants to protect you. So he'll face the Council for you."
"I told him not to." I cursed and kicked the couch, my lungs constricting. Damn it. Damn it all to hell. "I told him it wasn't —"
"Look." She paced toward me and her hair rose ever higher as her ire increased. "You and I are alike in some things, honey. We're both runners. I spent a lot of time trying not to get pulled into bullshit. But eventually I ran into something worth fighting for. Like you have. And it's time for you to hike up your big girl panties and take a stand."
"I can't risk it," I whispered. "I can't do what they want me to do. They'll kill us both."
"I'm not going to be a cheerleader, Sophia. I don't know if you can do it or not. I don't really give a shit. But you running away, and Atticus taking a stand against his brothers for you — for nothing — pisses me off. It's time to grow up."
Anger rose in my chest but I couldn't identify the cause. Maybe because she threatened us. Us? I pushed away the thought. "I'm plenty grown up, Eloise. I don't need a lecture from you. I'm fine. Atticus has a family to look after him. I've got to take care of myself."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, as if struggling for patience, and silenced her phone as it started ringing yet again. "You have family now too, girl. If you open up your eyes and figure out how to play nice. They would die to defend you if you just tried."
"But —"
"The family you're born into doesn't matter." She gestured at the hair standing around her head in an ethereal cloud. "Obviously. I was raised by freaking Medusas. There wasn't a lot of love there, but they tried. Half a dozen years in foster care did the rest. But now I have Benedict. And Natalia and Logan. And Edgar and Carter and Atticus. I have a family that I found, that I strengthen, that needs me to complete it. That wants me. And that is a thousand times more important than the people related to me by blood."
I stared at her, my heartbeat echoing in my ears.
She took a deep breath as her eyes slid from gray to mercury and back. "I'm not going to drag you back, Sophia. I won't tell Benedict where you are, even though I should. This has to be your choice. If Atticus is worth it to you, you'll do what's right and face the Council. If you run away again... Well." She shook her head, lip curling. "You didn't deserve him in the first place."
She turned and headed for the door. I started after her, but stopped. The door closed behind her but I couldn't move. Atticus would face the Council alone because he loved me and wanted me to live. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I had a chance to save him and didn't because I was scared. Scared and weak.
I clenched my hands at my sides. I wasn't weak anymore, and I knew how to fake courage. Fake it 'til you make it. Maybe Carter was right. Maybe I couldn't talk to the leopard because all of my courage stayed with her and all I had left was the fear. So long as I kept running, I would never figure out how to live with the cat.
My knees gave way and I fell onto the couch. I had to face the Council, and I had to face myself.