Even as he arrived at the upscale Italian restaurant exactly at seven, Carter wasn't entirely certain Ruby would show up. When he'd called with the name and address of the restaurant, after he confirmed he could actually get a reservation, she sounded distracted and upset. Breathing hard, like she'd been exercising or crying. So he mentally prepared to be stood up, and figured he'd give her thirty minutes before he called Edgar to join him instead.
But at five past seven, the maître d' escorted her around the dance floor and toward the table, and Carter stood to pull out her chair. She looked fucking amazing. She wore a simple black dress, tight in all the right places before it flared out, with a crimson sash and a strand of pearls. The colorful tattoos on her arms and back only added to the allure. She'd pulled her hair back in a high ponytail, exposing the long column of her neck, and all he could think about was nibbling on the white flesh. Marking her. Leaving hickies and bites until everyone knew she was claimed.
She raised her eyebrows as she paused by the chair he'd pulled out. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Do I pass?" She made a face and turned in a quick circle, so he got the full benefit of the backless dress and the sweep of fabric over her ass. And since it didn't look like she wore any underwear...
He cleared his throat, willing away the heat that surged to his face. "Yes, you do. Please sit."
Ruby winked and seated herself gracefully, though she crossed her legs and the high heel she wore caught his attention. Delicate ankles and smooth, muscular calves…Carter shook himself out of his reverie and managed to get back to his chair, pouring her wine as he tossed the napkin across his lap to hide the evidence of how very well she passed. "You look lovely, Ruby."
"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." She gestured at the suit he wore, her lips slightly pursed. "I don't think I've ever seen you so dolled up."
"Only for special occasions." He smiled, but still wondered what game she played. This brash, up-front Ruby was just a show. The real Ruby, vulnerable and soft and willing, was the one he wanted to see. "Did you bring the records?"
"Of course." She pulled a manila envelope out of her bag and tossed it onto the table. "We need to expand the business, find other sources of income. So far everything we've considered has too high a cost of entry, and we can't get the financial backing to start up."
"What about loans?" He paged through the spreadsheets and detailed business plans, only half paying attention to what he read.
"We have enough debt with the bar. And we don't take charity, so don't offer. Nat already tried to convince me to take on Logan as a business partner, but the pack's business remains separate. That's just how it's going to be." She toyed with the delicate strand of pearls she wore, a ladylike accessory at odds with the tough tattoos and piercings.
Carter raised an eyebrow at her as he looked up. "So you turn down alternate sources of funding but complain about not having enough money to expand?"
Ruby folded her arms over her chest. "Rafe and I built this pack from nothing. We can take it to the next level without a hand-out."
He put the paperwork away as the waiter approached, and the business of ordering dinner distracted him from the way her cleavage beckoned. Only after the waiter retreated and Carter refilled her glass of wine did he go on. He studied her, the bravado as she surveyed the cozy but popular restaurant. "Where do you see yourself in a year, Ruby? In five years?"
Half her mouth pulled up in a smile, then Ruby leaned back and tapped a rhythmic pattern on the white tablecloth. "In a year? Probably still running the bar. Holding Evershaw off from taking over the pack."
"I meant where you want to be in a year. What are your goals? Good financial planning starts with a goal in mind. What do you want to accomplish?"
She got a faraway look and bit her lower lip. "I want to have the only pack in this city. I want to have the bar, a couple of restaurants, a gym, a hotel, everything. I want enough money so the people I love won't have to work shitty jobs anymore. I want to shut down the Auction so no more women are bartered away as if they were property."
"Noble goals." Carter leaned his elbows on the table, just to be closer to her. Just to catch a hint of the perfume she wore, maddening and intoxicating and curling around his brain until he couldn't think of anything but her. "But those are all for the pack. What are your personal goals?"
Her smile twisted into something sad and amused. "The pack is all that matters, Carter. You know that."
He shook his head. "Ruby, you deserve to be happy, to have goals of your own. The pack shouldn't be your entire life."
"You don't understand." She looked away, a hint of red in her eyes. But when she looked back at him and picked up her wine glass, her expression returned to smiling and dismissive. "Being alpha is all I ever wanted. Now, I've got it. I don't have the right to want more. Everything I have, everything I am – it goes to the pack."
Carter studied the tendril of hair that escaped the ponytail and curled near her ear, and he reached across the table to touch her hand without thinking. "I never understood why Logan wanted to be alpha, why he was so desperate to be in charge. It doesn't seem like a good thing, frankly. It's a burden and a punishment. He suffers for us. He suffers because of us. Our hurts are his hurts, but there's no one to care when he's hurting. It seems to me a terribly lonely way to live."
"I have Rafe." But she looked away.
His fingers closed around hers, the lion desperate to comfort her. "You deserve so much more, Ruby."
The silence stretched as she refused to look at him, and Carter refused to release her hand. He could be stubborn too, a quality his brothers despaired of. Eventually, she cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, blue eyes calm as she tugged her hand free. "Strange conversation for a business meeting, Chase."
"I never said it was a business meeting."
Before she could retort, the waiter arrived with the first course. Carter wanted to break the silence but couldn't quite decide how to start. Only a few bites into the salad, Ruby pushed the dish back and propped her chin on her hands, fixing him with an intense look. "Look. Of course I want a partner and a mate. Of course I want kids and family and a loud house and hockey gear in the front hall, and toys in the yard, and everything. I want that. But I don't think I want that enough to give up what I've worked and sacrificed for, nor do I want that enough to screw my brother over and drive him away from what he's worked so hard for."
"Why does it mean —"
"Any wolf in this city that I would consider a partner would not be willing to tolerate Rafe as alpha." She shook her head, rubbing her forehead. "And if the guy is willing to let Rafe be alpha, then chances are I'm not going to be interested in him. So it's unfortunate, and yes, probably sad, but that's the reality."
"Why does he have to be a wolf?"
She opened her mouth to retort but stopped and her teeth clicked together. Carter raised his eyebrows. "Well? I know the wolves have rather draconian rules about a lot of things. Is it required that an alpha have a wolf mate?"
"It's not required."
"So why are you only choosing the scenario where you have to pick one or the other – the pack or a mate? Why not both?"
"Because that's not how it —"
He leaned forward and kept his voice low. "What are you afraid of, Ruby?"
"That I'll actually love you," she said, and he blinked.
Ruby cursed and looked away, across the restaurant, as the waiters brought a dessert tray around to another table. He waited, heart jumping to his throat. After a long pause, she glanced at him sideways. "Do you have any idea how scary it is to admit a weakness?"
"Of course." He leaned back as the waiter cleared their plates and replaced the salad with fragrant soup. When they were alone again, Carter rested his fingers on the edge of the table to keep from grabbing her hands again. "But there's no reason this is a weakness, Ruby. It's not —"
"It is for a woman." Her expression hardened. "Especially for a woman in charge. The moment I want to dress up, the moment I go on a date or hold hands with a guy — something changes. I become just another woman to be sheltered and coddled. Not the alpha, not the best fighter in the pack, not one of the most powerful wolves in the city. No, I'm just Carter's girlfriend. Me caring about someone? That's absolutely a weakness. And it's a weakness because what if you decide you don't want me? What if I like you more than you like me?"
Carter wanted to shake his head and smack his forehead. What a screwed up perspective on love. But it didn't entirely surprise him. The wolves in particular viewed everything as a zero sum game. Which made love and relationships competitions as well, in which one partner always had to have an advantage. She chewed her lower lip in a rare display of uncertainty, fidgeting with her silverware and reaching for the wine once more. "It might be too much of a leap for me. I don't know if I can deal with the uncertainty."
"But it would be easier to shack up with Evershaw?"
She made a face and tasted the soup, picked at the breadsticks, rearranged her napkin. Did anything and everything to not look at him. "At least with him, I know it wouldn't ever…my heart wouldn't get broken. Wouldn't even be in danger. It would be a power struggle every day for the rest of my life, but he wouldn't be able to hurt me as much as someone I care about."
Carter wanted to shake some sense into her. Imagine, picking an exhausting life of power struggles over a peaceful relationship. He scrubbed at his hair, not caring if it stood up in spikes and looked ridiculous. The lion grumbled about wanting to show her that no one would hurt her, not even him. Especially not him. Carter took a deep breath. "Aren't you tired, Ruby? You're vigilant all the time. Every minute. Don't you ever relax? Do you even sleep, or is one eye open all night?"
"Four or five hours," she said, with a half smile.
"Then why the hell don't you want to be with someone who can protect you while you sleep? Someone you can relax around, not because you're weak, but because I can be strong for both of us?"
She shook her head but didn't speak, once more concentrating on the utensils, and sadness gathered in her eyes. Irritated, Carter folded his napkin on the table and shoved to his feet. He held out his hand as she looked up. "Let's dance."
"Dance?"
He canted his head at the dance floor and the house band, a string quartet with a few extra pieces. "Dance. Come on."
Ruby scowled at him, but she tossed her napkin on the table. She would never turn down a challenge. She rose slowly and placed her hand in his, and Carter immediately pulled her to his side and set the pace to the dance floor. He needed contact with her, and the lion desperately needed to feel her skin. She was upset and sad, and the lion just wanted to take her some place warm, tuck her in, and curl up around her so she could sleep safely. The lead violinist smiled broadly when he saw them approach, clearly pleased someone would dance, and even raised his eyebrows to indicate Carter could choose the next song.
He smiled, said, "Tango, please," and was rewarded by an indignant sound from Ruby.
The soft waltz trailed off, wrapped up, and then the violinist slid into a beautiful Argentine tango. Carter faced Ruby as she hissed, "I don't know how to tango."
He took her left hand and placed it on his shoulder, and slid his right hand high on her back, her skin smooth and soft and warm under his palm. The scent of her hair distracted him as he pulled her close to his chest and his cheek brushed hers. "Luckily, I do. And since I'm leading, that works for us both."
She started to say something but instead he moved into the dance, the footwork coming naturally even though she jumped to catch up. Her face reddened and her eyes widened, and Ruby again started to chastise him, so Carter dipped her.
She laughed in surprise and some of the other patrons started to pay attention. Ruby's fingers dug into his shoulder as he whipped her back up and spun her out to the end of his grip. She gave him a look, and he winked before yanking her back toward him. Carter breathed her in, reveled in the feeling of her pressed against him, the way her breath caught when his hand at her back and the rest of his body prevented her from taking the lead. She wanted to lead – he could feel it with practically every step. Especially on the slow part of the dance, when they were pressed face to face– she tried for distance or to force him to go contrary to the dance. But he met every challenge and led her through every beat, occasionally letting himself appreciate the soft strength of her body and the hint of vanilla perfume. His lion purred, very low so it blended in with the music, but he knew she heard it.
As he pulled her close once more, her cheek brushed his and she whispered, "Kaiser said you were more dangerous for me than Evershaw. I think he's right."
Carter moved through the dance and then carefully dipped her once more as the tango ended, so he was looking down at her as the applause started and he could say, "Love is uncertain, not dangerous."
"You don't love me," she said, but she blushed as he pulled her upright and smiled at the other patrons. A few others decided to try the dance floor, so Carter led the way back to their table.
He pulled out her chair and studied her flushed cheeks, the way her hands trembled as she reached for her napkin. His fingers trailed across her forearm as he went back to his seat, the faint sound of her pulse thrumming in her throat distracting him. "How do you know?"
"Carter." The way she said his name, half laughing and half exasperated, drove him crazy. Drove the lion almost into a frenzy. He wanted to hear her say his name with breathy moans of desperation, calling for him to take her. Ruby didn't seem to notice, only shaking her head. "In literally a day and a half, you decide you love me?"
"I've loved you a lot longer than that," he said, more than a little nervous that admitting this would backfire on him. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. He just prayed the waiter didn't interrupt again. "I chose not to say something because you focused on the pack and building your business and it wasn't a good time."
"What changed?"
He tried not to smile. "You did."
Ruby snorted but patted under her eyes quickly, shaking her head. "Now I know you're crazy."
"Crazy about you, maybe." Carter sipped his wine and just watched her, content to have her close.
She couldn't tolerate the unfilled silence and abruptly stood. "Excuse me for a moment."
He half-stood from the table as she turned on her heel and marched toward the ladies' room, and Carter watched her go. She still projected confidence. She owned that room, and only deigned to let everyone else sit there because she didn't mind. He smiled and ordered another bottle of wine.