I met Nat a few days later at the designer’s shop for her final dress fitting. I felt like nine miles of bad road, with a constant migraine and a short temper. Rafe and I spent every waking moment at the bar or the office, searching for ways to challenge Evershaw's assertion. We reached out to the jackals, the hyenas, the bears, a few stray wolves roaming the city, and every other shifter we could find to try and gauge their interest in supporting us over Evershaw. He had a good argument, though, and none of the other alphas wanted to see their power diluted.
So I wasn't in the mood to gossip and giggle as I dragged myself into the designer's fitting rooms. Not that Nat wanted to giggle. She looked pale and wan, almost uneasy as I walked in, and she wobbled to her feet to hug me. "How are you?"
"I've been better." I attempted a smile and flopped onto the chaise. "There's a lot of work to be done."
She waited until the designer retreated to face me from the dais, wearing her beautiful gown. "Have you talked to Evershaw? Or Carter?"
"No and no." I covered my eyes, feeling tired to my bones. With each passing hour, walking away seemed better and better. The stress would kill me before Evershaw got a chance. "Rafe and I have been busy trying to make friends."
"Logan said it isn't clear which way the Council will go."
"Oh, it's plenty clear." I rubbed my forehead and couldn't meet her gaze. "They'll side with Evershaw. He's giving them a case for maintaining their power later. If more bears or lions or jackals move in, Evershaw's stance gives Kaiser, and Logan, and Armstrong the precedent to force those newcomers to swear fealty. They'd have to be stupid to side with us."
Natalia swallowed hard, dry-washing her hands in front of her, and her eyes grew red. "What are you going to do?"
Resignation crept over me. I'd fought it for the last few days, and the two weeks before that, but it felt inevitable. Evershaw would win. Rafe and I would have to deal with the fall-out. We just didn't know what that looked like. "I don't know. Sell the bar and leave?"
She stumbled off the dais and nearly tripped on her skirt as she tried to hug me. "You can't."
"We'll stick around until the Council meeting, so I can still be your maid of honor." I tried to smile. "So don't worry about that."
"I wasn't, you idiot." Natalia gingerly sat on the chaise next to me, fussing with the gown and the skirt and the neckline, and shook her head. "You can beat Evershaw in a fight, though. If it comes down to it, can't you just demand trial by combat and finish things up that way?"
"Maybe." I shoved to my feet so I could undress and get into my gown. I tried not to remember the last time I'd tried it on, when the evidence of Carter's passion covered me from head to toe. "That's assuming the rest of the Council lets the wolves decide among ourselves."
She watched me without expression. "Carter might…"
"Don't." I refused to look at her, even in the mirrors, and concentrated on checking the hem and waist and back of the dress. I didn't want to look unkempt or rumpled at the wedding. It might be the last time I saw Carter, and I wanted him to remember me in the best possible light. Even if it was torture for us both.
"He wants to explain." She gripped her knees and continued on doggedly. "And you should listen."
"You don't understand."
"Maybe not exactly." She clamped her lips together as a seamstress knocked and ooh'd and aah'd over my dress, making a few final adjustments before she gestured for me to take it off. I complied, and once the seamstress disappeared with the dress, Natalia bulled on. Stubborn as a mule, that one. "But the thought of living a day without Logan takes my breath away. I can't function without him, Ruby, and I know it's worse for him. I can't imagine you would torture yourself by walking away from your mate. I just don't understand how you could do that."
"You're human," I said under my breath as I got dressed. "You're not an alpha, and you're not a wolf. For us, the mate and the pack take up parts of our soul, our heart. You can survive with one. That's enough."
"But why is only surviving enough?" She lurched upright and caught my hands, squeezing until my fingers cracked. "You shouldn't just survive, Ruby. Jesus."
"You don't get it, Nat." I pulled away and ran my hands through my hair. "And you won't. Ever. So let's talk about the party and what else needs to be done."
She gave me a dark look. "Don't shut me out just because you're being stubborn and miserable."
"I'm not." I hugged her and gathered my bag. "Put your clothes on so you can make me something delicious for lunch."
Natalia pulled on her jeans and scowled at me. "Don't act weird, girl."
She almost made me smile. As she led the way out of the designer's showroom, my phone rang. Carter. I hesitated, then silenced it and put it away. I wasn't ready to listen yet. I needed more time to figure out what Rafe and I were going to do. Then I could see if Carter fit in to those plans. My wolf didn't like it, wanted to stalk and chase him, but loyalty to the pack consumed her, as well. I forced myself to be cheerful as I followed Nat to the nearby apartment. At least I'd look damn good and go out in style.