I waited for them to react or say something, or even just to blink, but no one moved. Even Edgar couldn't look at me. I wondered what went through their minds after I'd admitted what I'd been in, and part of me rebelled at the amount of detail I'd given. I barely knew these men, and certainly didn't know them well enough to start confessing Sophia's secrets as well as my own. I glanced at the snow leopard in the cage, uneasy with the way the lion watched me.
It seemed like an eternity until the one behind the desk took a deep breath. "What did you do after you escaped? Sophia has been free for some time."
"Ten years, give or take." I ran my fingers over the buttery leather of the couch, wanting to curl up on the soft cushions with Edgar. My cheeks heated at the thought. There was no damn reason to think about snuggling with him. I cleared my throat and pushed away the memories, tried to believe I told a story about someone else or repeated the plot of a crappy B-grade movie. "We tried to stay together as a group, but we were too damaged, I think. Some wanted to go find their families and packs again, and some of us didn't have anyone to return to. So we went our separate ways."
The morning I parted from the last of them, when we looked at each other and knew we wouldn't see each other again, started my sinuses burning and a heaviness settled on my chest. I hadn't even liked her, really, but she was my last link to the program and I wasn't sure I could survive without someone else. I'd learned, since then, but the memory still hit me like a brick in the face. I shook myself, a little surprised to see that Edgar had edged closer on the couch, until he could touch my hand. I wouldn't admit it to him, but the comfort of his presence was all that let me continue. "I went back to the facility."
"You went back?" Benedict leaned forward in disbelief.
"Yes." I shrugged. "I didn't have anything, I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to college or even get a real job, since I didn't want the bad guys to find me. I had to stay off the grid. But I wanted to know what they'd done and why, so I went back. The facility was sort of abandoned, just minimally guarded, and it looked like some human cops were trying to get in. The medical guards held them off, and when they were busy arguing with each other, I snuck back in."
"Now I know you're crazy," Benedict said under his breath, and Edgar shot him a dirty look.
I ignored him, so lost in the past I barely heard Edgar tell his brother to shut the hell up. I could still taste the smoke in the air around the facility as they incinerated records — what I hoped were records but feared might be people. It had been winter, snow falling softly all around, and I shivered for days afterwards. "I needed to know what happened and why. I had to know. I knew where they kept the records and the results of the experiments, so I managed to find my way there without being spotted. One of the interns was in there, shredding everything he could get his hands on. He flipped out when he saw me. Tried to dart me, then to shoot me."
Edgar's hand tightened on mine until my bones creaked.
I glanced at him, struck by a sudden thought. A guy like that, with an office as fancy as that one, and living in a house that big... "I could use a drink, if you've got something handy?"
Edgar didn't move but the calm brother, the one they called Carter and who believed anything was possible, retrieved a couple of glasses and a cut glass bottle from inside a giant globe. A globe. Weird. I waited until Carter splashed some whiskey into one of the glasses and offered it to me to go on, taking a sip to steel my courage. "I didn't kill him. I put him in one of the cages. He didn't like that, but that's no surprise, right? Nothing likes to be caged."
I hesitated as I looked at the cage in Edgar's office, where his brother and sister-in-law dozed, and chewed my lip. "I mean..."
"Don't worry about it," the oldest brother, Logan, said from the desk. He was methodically tearing pieces of paper apart, though no hint of tension showed in his face. He seemed perfectly calm, apart from the growing pile of confetti in front of him. "We don't like it either, but it was safer for her at the time. We can talk more about that later, if you don't mind. Please go on."
My eyebrows arched as I watched him, uneasy with the degree of control. He looked like he might go full-on beast mode at any moment. He could flip out regardless of what I said, and I was pretty sure from looking at the other guys that only Edgar stood a chance of putting him in a cage. I took a deep breath, but a gentle squeeze from Edgar convinced me to go on. "I took as many files as I could. I wanted evidence, but I also wanted to know what they'd done to the others. In case there was a way to tell them, or their families, or to right a wrong. Eventually. And then I ran. I studied everything I could to figure out what they did and why, and I came up with a list of nine guys who were responsible for everything that happened. All human."
I had to throw back the rest of the drink to keep going, needing the warm rock in my stomach to thaw my extremities. I'd never told anyone this. I still couldn't believe I was telling them. Edgar refilled my glass and drew me closer against his side, his arm draping over my shoulders in a comforting weight. I didn't mean to, but I leaned against him. And flushed, because his brothers watched without expression and I had no idea what they thought. I looked down at where the glass rested on my thigh, where his leg touched mine. "And since I had nothing else to do, nothing else to hold onto, I started searching for them. I searched for them, and I found them, and then I crossed them off the list. I was about to get the last one when that damn pack cornered me. I was sick, I didn't smell them coming, and then they told me I could either mate with one of the betas or they'd put me in the Auction. I tried to escape but I was still sick, still fighting something off. And then we were at the Auction, and you know the rest of that story."
I leaned my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes as I finished the second drink. I didn't even care that it was barely past noon. I could be drunk before dinner if I wanted.
Edgar leaned over to nuzzle against my hair, his voice quiet. "The eight individuals you found. Did you kill them?"
I took a deep breath, debating whether to tell them. But I only sighed and opened my eyes, looking at each of them in turn, daring them to judge me. "They all had terrible car accidents. Tragedies. Terribly unfortunate."
Benedict snorted, shaking his head, but it was Logan who spoke, hands braced on the desk, and looked at me evenly. "I would have preferred to tear them apart with my own claws, just for the satisfaction, but to each their own. I imagine car accidents were more efficient, less likely to draw attention."
Something in my chest eased. Maybe they weren't so bad. They certainly understood the draw of vengeance. As Edgar refilling my glass distracted me, there was a grunt and a flurry of activity from the cage. Sophia and Atticus were both in human form once more, and completely naked. But she trembled, staring at me like I was a ghost, and leaned against Atticus as if she couldn't sit up on her own. I felt terrible for her fear, but part of me rejoiced that I could see her again. I wanted to ask why they stayed in the cage, but before I dared ask, Sophia leaned forward. "I know I know you, but I don't know from where."
"It's good to see you again, Soph. Really, really good." I wanted to smile, wanted to encourage her, but it felt like my face would crack or I would start crying and never stop. "Do you remember anything?"
"Nothing before the orphanage." Her wide eyes remained locked on me, disconcerting in their intensity. She tried to remember me through sheer force of will.
And an ugly seed of jealousy planted itself in my heart. She didn't remember anything. She wasn't burdened by the memories. She didn't see their faces every moment she closed her eyes. She didn't remember the pain and fear and loneliness. I'd give almost anything to forget. I cleared my throat around a sudden knot, not able to meet her gaze any longer. "It's better that way. It's a charity."
When my voice broke, Edgar held me closer, wrapped his other arm around me until he nearly engulfed me. No one else spoke for a long time as I fought for control and Sophia stared at me, desperate in her own way. As I tried to straighten and untangle myself from Edgar, the door to the office swung in and two women entered. One looked at least four or five months pregnant, a small basketball on her stomach, and the other looked like she'd bitten into a lemon. A wolf. An alpha wolf. Her eyes went straight to me and she arched an eyebrow, maybe waiting for me to make obeisance.
I bristled at the challenge, the requirement, and glared at her. The woman froze, eyes narrowing as she scowled at me, and even though Carter said something to her, she didn't move. My heart jumped, started to pound. I would have to fight her. I wouldn't duck my head or roll over to show my belly to her. I wasn't always a wolf, and I sure as hell wasn't going to subordinate myself to someone I'd never met. I'd fought for everything else, I would fight her if I had to.
When she bared her teeth and Carter jumped up, I lurched to my feet. I'd meet her standing up, at least. I wouldn't show weakness to any of them, regardless of how much of my tragic past I shared. I'd go down swinging, and then I would grab my files and get the hell out of there. If she was part of the family, I didn't need the drama.
Edgar caught my arm as the wolf started to growl, and the pregnant woman blinked as she looked at her. "What the hell is wrong with you, Ruby?"
But the wolf never looked away from me. Edgar, his arm around my waist, scowled. "Carter, get her out of here. We don't need a brawl in my office."
"There won't be a brawl," the wolf, Ruby, said. "As long as the little wolf acknowledges who's in charge here."
"I'm not a wolf." I didn't blink, even with Edgar's warmth against my side. I wanted his arms to tighten around me again, wanted to lean against his chest and lose myself in the scent of his skin.
"You smell like one to me." Her eyes glittered in the dim light, and she leaned forward, despite how Carter blocked her progress. "So let's figure this out, sweetheart."
"Don't you dare fight in my house," Logan said from the desk, deep voice rolling like thunder through the large room.
The pregnant woman rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation as she planted one hand on Ruby's chest and pointed the other one at me. "Everyone calm the fuck down already."
Carter and Edgar immediately tried to drag us apart farther as Logan launched up and around the desk, face red in fury. His voice went from relatively calm to a lion's roar before he was even all the way upright. "If any of you jackasses fight around my mate, I'll fucking kill all of you."
I couldn't breathe with his rage suffocating the room, driving away any sense of calm or peace, and even though I leaned against Edgar, I still felt like I might have to flee. The wolf and the wolverine were both very quiet in my head, acknowledging the massive predator who stalked toward us. The threat from Ruby paled in comparison.
As everyone teetered on a knife's edge, and I prepared to fight if Ruby took a swing at me, a small voice came from the cage against the wall. Sophia leaned against Atticus and said, "This is the first time I've ever been glad to be in here."
I didn't blame her one bit.