I almost threw up in the SUV on the way to Keller's second headquarters building. Smith didn't think he would be at the main headquarters, and moving kids in and out of there would have drawn too much suspicion. So a smaller technical building, closer to Keller's home, was the target. Smith somehow even got confirmation that Keller was there. And we received word from Smith, shortly after two, that he gained access.
It felt like an eternity of waiting at the mansion while Edgar and his guys planned, as they brought in other shifters and modified the plan, as they got more information from Smith and changed the plan more. I wanted to scream. Wanted to throw something and grab the keys for a car and just go.
But Edgar was there. Each time I reached my limit and seriously considered making a run for it, he would catch my hand and squeeze my fingers. Or brush my arm, touch my back, offer me water or some of the Chinese food Natalia ordered in and brought to the office with a dark look for Logan. Apparently she was pretty pissed about her kitchen, and he was sheepish enough that he flushed when he noticed her stink-eye. Which caused no end of teasing from his brothers after Natalia departed to put her feet up.
My nerves vibrated as we drew closer and I knew in my bones that it was almost over. I could face Keller, would see him finally and even the score. Finally I could rest. When I imagined the next day, the first time I would wake up and know that the bastards responsible for killing my family were all dead, my eyes burned and I almost cried.
We weren't the first people into the building, a five-story contraption that looked more like a bunker than a business center. Shifters of various packs and prides flooded into the building and cleared it. When they milled back out in silence, my heart stuttered. No celebration, no jubilation, no calls on the radio. Just a few clicks and static. Uncertainty.
I ran in, Edgar on my heels, but knew immediately something wasn't right. The building looked abandoned already, even at three in the morning, with only Edgar's Council pals waiting in the halls. My heart jumped to my throat as we reached Keller's office.
The giant dude Edgar called Kaiser lumbered to the doorway, already inside, and eyed me as I tried to shove past him. "He's gone."
Gone. I elbowed the giant as the wolverine in me screamed in rage. The office looked like a tornado had run through it — the desk barren, papers scattered across the floor, a filing cabinet overturned, computer equipment smashed to pieces in the center of the room. All the blood drained from my head as I stared around, and I nearly went to my knees.
And yet Edgar didn't look surprised. His buddies, Kaiser and the other giants, didn't look surprised. Just a little uncomfortable, a little sad. Emotion faded as I stared at Edgar and he stared back, unblinking.
My voice came out monotone, creepy even to me. "Where is he."
"He's gone," Smith said from the doorway, his white hair ruffled.
"Where." It wasn't really a question. I already knew they didn't know, because if they did, we'd be in the car, moving.
Edgar didn't get any closer, watching me as if I were an unpredictable animal. Which I was, really. He'd never dealt with the wolverine before. He might understand wolves, but wolverines were a completely different matter. The lion sounded too calm, his voice setting my teeth on edge. "We don't know. The last trace we have is Keller passing immigration on his way to Europe."
A growl brewed in my chest. "You've got to be kidding me. How the hell did you lose him?"
"He's got a lot of money," Smith said, when Edgar didn't answer. "And a lot of friends. Someone tipped him off and he ran. We almost got him at the airport."
"Someone tipped him." I laughed, the ugly sound making Edgar frown. "Of course. Because how can anything actually be secret when you've got a dozen people involved? Unbelievable. I did fine with eight out of nine of these bastards, and the one time I let someone else get involved, the target gets away. Fan-fucking-tastic."
My heart raced and my hands shook, the familiar sensation of fading adrenaline. So Keller was on his way to Europe. I'd never been overseas, but once I found the thread to follow, I would hunt him there as well. No telling how much it would cost to get a passport when I didn't have a birth certificate or real ID, but with enough money, anything was possible.
"Ivy," Edgar said, and took a step toward me.
I held my hand up to block him and turned away. "Don't. Just don't."
"He's gone. We have no idea where he went, and with the kind of money Keller has, he could buy half a dozen new identities."
My sinuses burned as I stared at the empty desk, then I shook my head and started shuffling through some of the papers still in the file drawers. "Everything can be traced. Everyone can be found."
"We'll keep looking." Smith cleared his throat. "But it will take time until he feels safe enough to relax, to make a mistake, and when he does, we'll be waiting. But it won't be tomorrow, Ivy."
"Is this because of Logan?" I turned on Edgar, gripping the edge of the desk so I wouldn't lurch forward and deck him. "Did Keller run because he bought the company? Did Logan fuck all this up because he felt guilty?"
"Ivy," he said, a hint of reproach in his tone. He didn't like anyone talking badly about Logan, regardless of what the bastard did. "You know that isn't —"
"How do I know that, Edgar?" I didn't move as Kaiser and his guys retreated from the office, the bear dragging Smith out as well, until Edgar and I were alone in the wreckage of Keller's malfeasance. "Please. We already had the conversation about all the good the medical experiments have done, how many lives were saved by our torture. The greater good, right? So why the hell shouldn't I expect that the Chase brothers would —"
"Stop," he said, unnervingly calm. "You know that isn't true. You're lashing out, and that's fine, but don't say something you can't unsay."
"You ruined this for me." I bit back a cry, somewhere between grief and rage. My hands tightened on the desk and I wrenched at it, trying to throw it or overturn it or something. Anything to show him how much this hurt. "I was so close to finishing it. So close. And you took it away."
"Ivy," Edgar said. "We'll find him eventually."
"If I just worked by myself, it would have been finished tonight." I gave up on destroying the heavy desk and instead turned my fury to the computer monitor that still occupied the corner. It made a satisfying crash after I hurled it toward him. He stepped aside, unperturbed. "But no. No, I let you jackasses help and Keller got away."
I wanted to cry. I wanted to curl up under that desk and sob like a child. I'd been so close to being done with that part of my life. If I got rid of Keller, I could put it behind me. Finally, I wouldn't be a victim anymore. I wouldn't have to carry all of that in my heart. But he still walked free, and all those nightmares and memories still dragged me down, still anchored me in the past.
Something crunched and I turned, caught Edgar pacing toward me through a carpet of crumpled files. I shook my head and retreated. "No."
"It's okay." Edgar's eyes shone gold for a moment as he studied me, and he didn't stop, even though I backed away. "Ivy, look at me."
"I'm leaving." I concentrated on some of the papers I could scoop up from the top of the filing cabinet, even though my vision blurred and the words swam. "I'll take care of this myself. I'll go to Europe and track him down. I don't need your help, I don't need your family or —"
"Isobel," he said, and my heart broke. He might as well have punched me. My lungs seized up and I couldn't breathe, staring at him and the understanding, the sympathy, in his eyes. His voice rumbled, rough around the edges as if the lion spoke more than the man. "I will hunt that man to the ends of the earth, I swear it to you. But you have to live your life. You can't let them dictate your happiness anymore."
"Don't." I held up my hands to try to fend him off but Edgar didn't seem to notice as I backpedaled. "I need to finish this, Chase. I need to cross him off the list, and then I can move on. I can't let him win."
"He hasn't. He won't." Edgar reached for me and I jerked away, backed into a corner. I curled in on myself. If he touched me, if he tried to comfort me, I would fall apart. I had to be strong but everything in me wanted to lean into him, to hide my face against his shoulder, to let him tell me everything would be okay. Edgar caught my hand and I lashed out, tried to hit him. He dodged my fist and wrapped me up in a bear hug.
I shrieked and lashed out at him, wanting to fight free so I could run and keep running until I forgot all about Edgar Chase.
Edgar held me tighter and made shushing noises. "Isobel, breathe. You're fine. You'll be fine. We'll get him. But you've got to let it go. You've got something better here. We've got something better."
I couldn't breathe. All the air had been sucked out of the room when Edgar used my real name. My eyes burned and I couldn't see through a blur of tears. His arms tightened until my ribs creaked, and the fight drained out of me. It didn't really matter if it were his fault. Keller was still gone. A sob escaped before I could bite it back, and my knees failed.
Edgar caught me, held me up, as the world collapsed around me and it felt like every grief I'd suffered in the last ten years slammed into me at once. Drowning. I was drowning.