Pete was trying to move her further away from danger, but Jenny knew they needed to stay put. The emergency services were coming and she had given them the address on the road sign close by. His eyes were wild and not really seeing her. She had to try and make him connect. “Pete. Look at me. We have to stay here.”
“It’s not safe. I need to get you away.”
“No. The ambulance will be here any minute. Just hold on. I know I can trust you to protect me if they show up again. In fact I can hear the sirens now. Listen.”
The ambulance arrived and a police car close after. Jenny directed them to the alleyway while the ambulance crew took a look at Pete and loaded him on board.
In the back of the ambulance, the paramedic tried to take his details and another pressed a pad against his wound, laying him on the trolley in an attempt to calm him down. Pete struggled, trying to see the street outside, calling out for her with such anguish. Jenny tried her best to reassure him she was safe and she would see him at the hospital, but he wasn’t settling. A policeman went inside and explained that they would take her with them, but as they closed the back of the ambulance, she could still hear his cries calling her name.
In the back of the police car, half frightened to death by what she had seen him throw at them, and still shaking from the attack, Jenny began to realise she was safe. She had witnessed a young boy fighting for his life… for her life, and now he needed the reassurance that everything was okay.
In A&E they were separated again. She could hear Pete creating hell over the other side of the department, but the police arrived and calmed him down, reassuring him that they would be staying with them both until they were free to leave.
Jenny tried to help, calling out that she was fine and telling him he needed to get seen to. It was as if the world around her was moving at a hurtling pace and she was inside it, in a bubble, watching it pass by.
A numb kind of peace took hold of her as she settled in for the wait to be seen. Half an hour or more rolled past before she was called. Moving through the process, she tried to answer where she could, but her only real concern was the baby.
She told the nurse and they arranged for a doctor to do an early ultrasound scan. But this would not be for a while, so she was asked to wait back outside in the waiting room until they called her name. So there she sat with the policewoman who had been drafted in to sit with her.
“Have you got them,” Jenny asked, looking through the half-open door into A&E to see if they were inside.
“I believe we have three males in custody, yes,” the police woman said.
“Three?”
“I believe so.”
“But there were four of them, I’m sure there were,” Jenny said. “What about the other one?”
The woman called to a colleague to radio in. “He must have given them the slip. I’m sure they’re out looking for him right now. Try not to worry.”
“Where are they?” she asked her, for Jenny was certain they would need attention.
“They took them to Garnley General,” she replied. “So you didn’t have to see them.”
Jenny was grateful. “Thank you,” she said and felt her tension ease just a little. She looked around her, reading the posters on the walls, but taking none of it in.
It felt like an eternity before Pete was ready to be released. When he appeared, he had a bandage just visible through the ragged slit in his shirt. He gazed at her and his golden eyes were full of such intensity it took her breath away.
“Are you okay?” she asked and he nodded and reached out a hand to pull her to him. He squeezed her tightly and she looked up at him. He was her rock in stormy waters. She might be battered from bumping up against him, but he was strong enough to lift her above the waves and keep her alive.
“Can we go?” he asked, calmer now that he had seen her.
“Miss White hasn’t been discharged yet,” the WPC told him. “But as soon as she’s cleared, we’ll take you both back to the station to make a statement. If that’s all right?”
Suddenly, concern furrowed his brow. He looked at her. “You’re hurt? I thought you were okay.” His voice was urgent, needy, angry even. “What is it? What did they do to you?” His gaze was searching her rapidly, looking for evidence of what he had missed.
She stepped away from the others, just slightly, and took hold of his hand. It was time for the truth. “I’m fine, Pete. It’s not me.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s the baby.”
She watched as his face paled. “Baby?”
She nodded. “They said they would scan me to make sure I haven’t… That it’s…” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the words.
Pete was dazed. “You’re… pregnant?”
“Yes.”
He took some deep breaths. “And is it…?”
She nodded again. “Of course it’s yours, Pete. Who else would there be?” Jenny thought for a minute he was going to pass out, but she needed him to know. And with the tiny part of her that wasn’t praying for the life of her unborn child, she started praying that Pete would be pleased.
Furtive looks passed between the police officers until a nurse appeared and called her name and Jenny turned to see.
“Jenny White?”
“Yes.”
“If you’d like to come this way, please.”
Jenny turned back to the WPC. “I won’t be long,” she said and she made to follow the nurse. But Peter was still with her. She stopped. “It’s an internal thing,” she said in dismay. “I’d rather go in on my own.”
But he looked at her. “No. I’m coming with you. This is my baby too. Please, Jen, don’t stop me.”
Jenny let out the breath she’d been holding and met his gaze, searching for the answer she had hoped to find. Had she seen it in there? Or did he just need proof? “Okay,” she said and he took her hand and they walked in together.
On the trolley, the doctor inserted the probe and uncomfortable, both physically and mentally, Jenny stilled. She held her breath as she waited for the news. Any second now she would know if her baby, their baby… Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as the tension and worry sank through to her bones. The world about her froze as the clock on the wall ticked on. Pete squeezed her hand and as the fuzzy screen pitched and swirled, the doctor finally peered closer. He pointed. “There,” he said and a tiny, funny-shaped blob appeared through the fog and in its centre was the miracle of a ticking heart.
Relief the size of a tidal wave crashed over her as she saw her baby for the first time and, filled with hope, she plucked up the courage to turn to Pete. He was staring at the screen, open mouthed. What was he thinking?
“Safe and sound,” the doctor added as he withdrew the probe and covered her up. The nurse let her get herself straight and then showed them back to the waiting room. All this time, Pete had said nothing at all.
They were put into the back of the police car and driven to the station and still he was silent. It had not been the finest way to find out you were going to be a father, she conceded, but he knew now and Jenny was on tenterhooks to know how he felt.
The police interviewed them to get a formal statement. They gave descriptions of the men, as far as they had been able to determine in the half-light and agreed to come back to identify the attackers at a later date.
“Have you found the other one yet?” Jenny asked when they were just about to leave.
“You haven’t got them all?” Pete asked.
“We have three of them. The other one must have got away. But with your descriptions, I’m confident we’ll have our man very soon.”
“Then she’s coming home with me,” he said.
Jenny wasn’t used to being discussed in the third person. “I’ll be fine at home,” she told them. “One of the others will be there.”
“No,” Pete insisted. “You’re coming home with me. Then I’ll know you’re safe.”
If she had been in her right mind, she would have argued. She’d never been one for being bossed around, but she realised, after all she’d been through that evening, that she would feel safer with him. She wanted to be with him. So she agreed.
A policeman drove them to Pete’s place and promised to let them know as soon as they had any news. They took the details of his car to make sure it wasn’t clamped overnight and escorted them up to his flat.
Inside, Pete locked and bolted his door. He quickly checked around the rooms and then took a deep breath and slowly let it out. They were safe.
The events of the day suddenly took over and Jenny burst into tears. All the fear and the turmoil of the past few hours had caught up with her and her features crumpled, her limbs started to tremble and the tears erupted into shudders, engulfing her entire body.
Pete rushed over and folded her in his arms and they sat down on the settee. He cradled her against him, smoothing her hair and whispering comfort in her ear.
After a while, she was worn out from crying and he just held her still, his face in her hair and his hand stroking her back.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What on earth for?” he murmered.
“For getting you into all this. You’re injured. If I had just stayed at the party, this would never have happened.”
“You’re wrong. It would have happened, only to somebody else. I heard the police talking. They think these guys could have been responsible for a couple of other attacks across the county. Nevertheless, selfish as it may be, I wish it hadn’t happened to you. Why did you leave the party, anyway?” he asked her. “You obviously weren’t on your way home.”
Jenny hesitated. “I was coming to see you.” She felt him take a deep breath.
“You were?” His voice was calm, giving nothing away.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
His chest stilled beneath her. What could she say? Because she wanted him? Because she needed him? Because he was the thing she thought about every minute of every day? Because she had just found out that he hadn’t cheated on her? She needed to know how he felt first. There was too much at stake. “I wanted to tell you I had heard back from Lizzy.”
His lungs filled with air once more. “In the middle of a party?”
She shrugged. “Yes.”
“And was she friendly?”
“Not bad,” she told him. “Not as good as I’d hoped, but… probably better than I deserve. We’re going to arrange to meet up soon.”
“Don’t talk like that, Jen. You are a kind, beautiful, amazing person. She’ll see that. She just needs to get to know you.”
Jenny sat up and looked at him, wishing with all her heart that he wanted her half as much as she wanted him. She noticed his right hand, now resting in his lap. It was swollen and bruised. She looked at the other one and it was in a similar state. His face was marked where he had been bleeding; only his knife wound had been significant enough to be tended to in the hospital. Her brow crinkled as she felt the weight of his injuries. “Look at the state of you.”
In a minute she was back at his side with a bowl of warm disinfectant she’d found in his bathroom cabinet, some cotton wool and a towel. “Take off your shirt,” she said and his eyes met hers. He slipped out of his ruined top and he was magnificent. Jenny bit her lip to focus her attention and then started at the top.
Bathing the scrapes and cuts, she caught a look in his eyes that was dangerous to behold. Her mouth went dry and her breathing hitched as she wiped the dirt from his bloodied lip.
She took hold of his hand and bathed the dirt and blood away, her touch gentle in case she hurt him. “Who taught you to fight like that?” she asked, having waited till they were alone to find out.
“I needed to learn how to protect us,” he said. “My dad didn’t get to me often, but I had to be able to stand up for myself in case he did. And the others needed protecting too. Ali’s brother did karate, so she got him to teach me everything he knew. A couple of times Dad got the better of me and it made everything worse, but in the end I knew enough. And when that day came, he started laying into Jimmy and I finally had the guts to call the police on him. That was when he left.”
She was looking at him. What this man had been through was enough to make her cry. He was a hero, to her and his family, but he obviously still couldn’t see that.
“After he left I took up boxing, to make sure he never came back. That’s where I was this evening. That’s why I was late to the party.”
She took hold of the other hand and washed the dirt away. Her gaze moved to his chest wall, as she let her finger trail over his beautiful skin, searching for any injuries. The bandage was over his left side, where the knife had caught him and she stopped as she approached it. She looked up at him.
“It just needed a few stitches, that’s all,” he murmured. His eyes were on her now, his body still and his breathing shallow.
She rested a gentle hand on his thigh and then leaned in and kiss beside his injury. “Thank you,” she said, “for saving me,” and he looked at her with such adoration that she would have given him the world.
“You were always worth fighting for, Jen” he said. “Why did you not find me years ago,” his voice croaked and she looked up at him.
“I did,” she told him. “But you weren’t ready.” A long moment hung between them, laden with the loss of unspoken words.
Pete’s phone rang, breaking the silence, and he stood up to fish it out of his back pocket. He answered it. “Hello. Yes. You have? Thank you,” and switched it off. “They’ve got him,” he said. “They’ve got the last one.”
Jenny took a deep breath and shivered. Suddenly she thought about her own skin. “I need a shower. I feel dirty.”
“You’re beautiful,” he told her.
“I need a shower, Pete. I need to wash him off me.” Just the thought of that man’s foul hands on her, around her throat and in her mouth when she bit him, she needed to be rid of that. She got up and started searching for his towels.
Pete’s face changed. He took a step toward her. “Jenny, he didn’t… They didn’t… They didn’t hurt you in any other way, did they?”
Jenny’s mind reached for something to connect with. She remembered the woman on the ward. She had been stabbed and… and raped. “No!” she said. She shook her head vigorously, walking towards him. He didn’t look convinced, so she gently took hold of his battered hands. “No… Thanks to you.” His expression eased. “I just want to feel clean again. Is that all right?”
Pete took Jenny into the bathroom, fetched a towel and his largest t-shirt and then left her to wash the grime away. He stood in the living room and looked around and then turned the thermostat up to make sure she didn’t get cold.
He needed to take care of her. Jenny would need to eat. He had to feed her. They were out of danger now, so they could have a drink too. Except she couldn’t, could she? Nerves gripped him. The baby. He was going to be a father and that scared him more than he had ever thought it could. Would he turn out to be like his own father? That was at the heart of it. It appalled him to think that he ever could, but how could he be sure? Was he too much of a risk? And did she really want him? She hadn’t told him about the baby. Would she have… ever… if this hadn’t happened? Perhaps she was wise enough to know better.
He had never put his heart on the line like this before and it scared him. Would she take him, if he asked? Would she believe in him, that he’d changed? He had to try. Living without her was no longer an option. He loved her. He wanted her. He wanted both of them.
Everything in his life had brought him to this moment. Everything he had been through seemed to have led to this. His terror and need to protect as a child had made him strong, had made him a fighter. The love he had for Ali and her affection for him had brought him to this career, and the torment he had battled to get over her had brought him Jenny. She was meant to be with him. It was obvious to him now. He just hoped it was obvious to her too.
By the time he had found something for them to eat, Jenny had emerged and was standing sheepishly in the door of the bathroom. Her hair was damp and scruffy, she had no makeup on and all she was wearing was his navy blue t-shirt and the wind was knocked clean out of him. She was… stunning.
He licked his lips to help them move and took a deep breath. For what felt like a lifetime, he couldn’t say a word. Then she walked over and looked down at the kitchen counter.
“Sandwiches?” she said and smiled at him.
He couldn’t move.
“May I?” she asked and he nodded. He cleared his throat. “Yes. Of course. I made them for you.”
Jenny picked up the plate and walked over to the settee and put them down on the table. She curled her legs up beside her as she sat. “Come on, then. You need to eat too,” she told him and obediently he went to join her. But he couldn’t bring himself to sit, suddenly too afraid to touch the thing he wanted most in the whole world.
This was it, crunch time. He had to say something. He had to know. He watched as Jenny took a bite of her sandwich and looked at him. She swallowed.
“What? What is it?” Jenny held one out to him and, like a fool, he just stood there, anxiety growing like frost through his veins. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. He had to act.
Quickly, he took the sandwich and put it back on the plate, he took her by the hand and pulled her up to stand in front of him. There was a question in her eyes and he answered it. Gently taking her face in his hands, his gaze fell to her lips, which seemed frozen in anticipation and he leaned in and kissed them.
Tantalised by the delicate touch, his kiss deepened. He wanted to taste her, to know her again, to feel what it was like to be with a woman he loved. There were no words to describe how much he needed her now. It was more than he had ever known. He felt more, he wanted more, he wanted her to know how utterly loved she was. But she had to feel it too.
She was moulding herself to him. She fit so well against his body. His hands began to explore her. The touch of her naked thigh, her waist and the side of her breast. Any minute now he expected her to pull away and turn from him. But she didn’t. She pulled him closer and a soft moan escaped from her lips. God help her, she wanted him! She had to know he wasn’t going to leave her ever again, not if she’d have him. He was different now. His life was going to be different too.
He pulled away and gazed into her kaleidoscope eyes. “I love you, Jenny Wren.” He smiled. “I want you. I want you forever. I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. Life is wonderful when I’m with you and it’s hell when I’m not. I have been a fool, Jen. I love you and I want you to be with me always.” He waited for her reply, his heart racing.
Jenny’s gaze fell away, as if looking for the words to let him down gently and he was afraid.
“You might think you love me, Pete, but you can’t go saying things like that on a night when everything has been so intensely emotional. You’ll only regret it. You’ll wake up in the morning when the dust has settled and you’ll just think: ‘What have I done?’” Her gaze dropped to her fingers, intertwined with his. “I love you, Peter Florin, with all my heart, and I want to be with you, but this is all new to you. I’ve had time to come to terms with it. I’ve never asked for anything from you. I’ve never expected-”
“You think I’m just rushing into this because of what we went through this evening?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Did you not wonder how I came to find you tonight? I wasn’t meant to be there at the party; I came to look for you.”
Jenny gazed up at him and his world appeared in her eyes and then her eyes filled with tears once more.
“I’m serious, Jen. I love you. I was coming to find you this evening to tell you that. To tell you how much I love you and that I want you to be with me. I want to marry you, Jen. The merest thought of you being with someone else, it was killing me. It’s only ever been you, since you cared enough to find me.”
“I know you didn’t sleep with Tina,” she told him.
“I couldn’t. I never even wanted to.” Pete looked quickly around the flat and hurried out to the kitchen. He found a bag tie and fashioned it into a ring. He took it back to her. “Will you take a risk on me, Jen?”
Seconds ticked by like hours before she smiled and said, “So you really think you can do this?”
Pete looked down at her. “I know I can. You’ve changed me, Jen. I’m not the man I used to be. I want more. I want everything. I want you.”
“Okay then,” she whispered.
“Okay, you’ll marry me?”
She grinned and then nodded. “I fully expect you to regret this by morning, but… yes, I will marry you.”
Pete slipped the ring on her finger and his heart rejoiced. He kissed it in place and pulled her into his arms, crushing her against him. And in that moment he knew she was safe, he wouldn’t let her down and he would always be there to protect her.
With each kiss came a caress and each caress became a hunger. Passion that had been suppressed for too long found a way to shine and they moved slowly across to the bedroom, revelling in their love. Pete laid her gently down on his bed, touching, learning, exploring sensations and as their bodies joined together, their hearts became one.
The moon smiled down on their naked forms, intertwined and spent in the early hours of the morning and Pete turned to look at Jenny. She wanted him, and sweeter words he had never heard… until morning.
Jenny woke up in a foreign land. Furniture she didn’t recognise sat plainly against a weathered wall. Pete. She had been rescued by Pete. He had saved her and loved her and made love to her. But it had been so much more than that. She uncurled her left hand and saw the homemade ring still resting there. It was beautiful as it was. They had been beautiful. He had told her he loved her and asked her to marry him, but now it was morning.
Taking a deep breath, she stretched out. Her limbs ached as bruises from the attack began to make themselves known. No limb bumped into hers, so she reached around. She couldn’t feel him in the bed beside her. She couldn’t hear him around the flat. Her mind spun into action, preparing herself for impending doom.
She swallowed. Maybe she could just lie there a little longer and pretend that everything was still as wonderful as it had been the night before. If she closed her eyes again, she could even see him smiling down at her, whispering words of love and devotion. But illusion was no use to her now. She had to face the day and whatever came with it.
Lying quiet and still, she took her courage in hand and rolled over… and there he was, on the far side of the bed, propped up on one elbow, looking at her. He was gorgeous, love flowing from his smiling eyes.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said. “So, do you still respect me?”
Jenny smiled at him. “I love you, Peter Florin,” she murmured. “I always will.”
*
Jenny typed the word ‘End’ and sat back in her chair. It was finished. She looked out through the window beside her desk and watched as her husband and children played happily on the back lawn.
Taking a deep breath, she let it out as she felt the anxiety she had put on hold for the days and weeks leading up to this, creeping back in on her. She had done it in time. Tomorrow morning her editor would find it in his inbox and know that she was ready.
She had so much in her life to live for now, so much love. Pete looked up from where he was kneeling, under the apple tree near the bottom of the garden, and although she couldn’t see him clearly, she could feel his loving gaze upon her, and her heart swelled. She could not have loved that man any more if she’d tried. The sound of her girls playing brought joy to her heart, their laughing eyes blissfully unaware of the importance of the day, perhaps their last day of carefree existence.
Pete was desperate of course, she understood that. She had tried to talk to him about what might actually happen, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to discuss it. He’d understood her need to write the story down, only didn’t want to believe it would ever see the light of day. She hoped it wouldn’t, not yet. But what could she do? He was everything to her, a hero, even if he didn’t think so himself. And now there was a blip that he couldn’t help her over, and it was killing him. She would give anything to make her life different. And there she paused her thoughts. No, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t change a single thing. She just wanted more of it.
Jenny had spoken at length with her editor and he understood that if the worst happened, he would publish. Nobody need ever know it was them. That it had happened. That the story was real. She had even enjoyed picking out names. Eloisa Woods. She liked that name. She thought it suited her. It had something poetic about it. She smiled. The pain was building again, so she breathed in, deep and slowly.
Martin would amend any errors she had missed and wait for her to call. She had left a reminder on Pete’s mobile and her laptop to prompt them if they forgot, and if not…
Her bag was packed and waiting in her wardrobe upstairs along with a list of last-minute things, like her wash kit, comb and books. Books. As if she was going to be in a fit state to read any books! But they comforted her. She would get the girls off to school in the morning and… Here her world caved in. How was she ever going to let them go, or say goodbye.
Time. It was such a precious thing, she thought. There was no controlling it, whatever you did. It slipped through your fingers like grains of sand, until all you had left was a pile on the floor.
Pete’s mum would be there to collect them at the end of the school day. They’d like that. A bit of spoiling from their gran.
They were playing hide and seek now and she loved to play with them, so she saved the file onto her laptop and wrote her final note.
Dear Martin,
Well, it’s done. I’m attaching it to this email for your safe-keeping. If all goes well, I’ll call you in a couple of days. Then we can file it away for a rainy day and maybe make it into something special, something beautiful. If not, you know what to do.
If what I fear most happens, Pete will need time to come to terms with things, but he knows I want it to be published and that the names can be changed. Please don’t pressure him if you need anything from him, give him time. He’s stronger than he thinks. And who knows, if all goes well and I pull through, one day he might actually let me publish it as it should be, as us.
I’m relying on you to come up with a great title. And I’d just like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you’ve done for me over the years. You made my silly dream come true. (But if I make it through tomorrow and am back at my work by next week, I will deny ever having said that!)
Think of me, at a quarter past eleven in the morning. And send up a prayer. I think I’m going to need one.
Wishing you all the best,
Jenny.
Jenny attached the file, braced herself and pressed ‘send’. It was done. She was ready. Or was she? She looked down at her trembling hands and bit back the urge to retch. No. Not now. She wouldn’t let it. Today… This afternoon… Now, had to be perfect.
Looking back at the scene outside her window, she smiled. The sun was shining down and she could hear her children’s laughter as they played with their father, the man that she loved. The man who had brought her peace and who set her heart aflame every time he looked at her. Still. After all these years. And now she wanted to be with them, to be surrounded by those who meant more to her than life itself. What better way to spend a final day? And she closed up her laptop and walked out into the sun.