MARY COLLINS: First and foremost I want to thank my remarkable son, Donald Collins, for having the courage and open-mindedness to engage in this book project with me.
I would also like to thank my mother, Constance Collins, who showed Donald and me the road back to each other; my siblings, James Collins, Elizabeth Collins, and Tricia Collins, for never walking away from what must have been a fraught situation for the extended family.
In general, I had few people to turn to whom I could trust to listen to my fears and questions without judgment during Donald’s high school and college years, but those who did step up for me provided much-needed solace during the hardest hours. Thank you, Susan McElhinney, Tom Vasko, Sal Lilienthal, Michael Sloan, Scott Franklin, Russell Gardner, and Linda Wagner.
Many of the parents of transgender teens and college-age students who I contacted for this book shared my wariness and lack of trust in counselors and health professionals, which made my conversations with Libby McKnight and Elijah Nealy, two professionals who helped me find parents for my Story Exchange section, especially affirming. They understood immediately what At the Broken Places could offer families and worked hard to convince parents to trust me with their stories.
Of course, I must also thank the parents who spoke to me, either anonymously or on the record, including those who did not want me to publish their stories but still shared their experiences with me. We all felt comforted by talking about our shared challenges.
This project started as an essay that I wrote for a summer Yale Writer’s Workshop directed by Eileen Pollack, director of the MFA program at the University of Michigan at the time. I want to thank her for giving Donald and me an enthusiastic introduction to Beacon Press when we were ready to shop our proposal. I also did a book-manuscript exchange with my dear friend Paula Whitacre—she edited our project, and I provided feedback on her fine biography of Civil War heroine Julia Wilbur, who helped escaped slaves build a new life in Virginia. Few things in life have given me as much pleasure as being a part of the community of letters in the United States, and Eileen and Paula represent just two of the many fine writers, editors, and other professionals I’ve worked with over my career.
From the moment Beacon Press accepted At the Broken Places, I knew we had found the best possible home for our book. The staff embraced our work with such enthusiasm and professionalism at every part of the process, from the fine copyedit by managing editor Susan Lumenello to the hard work on the cover design by Louis Roe. They even met with us in person for more than two hours in Boston, a level of engagement that’s hard to find in publishing anymore.
I wish to close with a special thanks to Michael Bronski, who graciously agreed to include At the Broken Places in his series, Queer Action/Queer Ideas, and to Beacon’s editorial director, Gayatri Patnaik, who embraced our project with such verve from the moment she saw our proposal. To receive such a welcome from such an experienced editor on such an emotionally complex project validated for me that Donald and I had indeed reflected carefully and with humanity on our journey and used our shared love of writing and books to create something we can both be proud of.
DONALD COLLINS: The kindest people in life never expect anything in return, and indeed I will never be able to return the kindness extended to me by the people named here.
First off, thanks to my mother for her capacity to weather total honesty throughout the duration of this collaboration. I love you and am so happy to have painful honesty over silence, denial, and estrangement. I am forever in awe at all you accomplished as a working single parent.
Thank you to my grandmother Constance, whose name suggests the exact unfailing love and devotion she provided my mother and me. Thank you, Aunt Tricia, Aunt Betty, and Uncle Jimmy.
Thank you to my dad, Andrew, for his continued support. I already had one father walk away—I hope you know that you are loved and appreciated.
I’d like to thank the Loomis Chaffee School for its conscientious efforts to create a safe environment for LGBTQ students, and I extend total gratitude to all the individuals and educators there who made my experience so worthwhile: Andrew Watson, Andrea Rooks, Mark Zunino, Jennifer McCandless, Dennis Robbins, Deb and Frank Aniello, and Robin Willard, among others. Thank you, Sus, Joanna, Shondaray, Susannah, Garrett, Fred, Dru, Xandee, and Palmer Dormitory.
Shout out to Emerson College for providing me with a creative and interdisciplinary undergrad experience, and to the educators and administrators there committed to helping queer students and spreading gender education. Thank you, Tulasi Srinivas, for opening my mind and helping me see a world beyond myself. Thank you, Jane Powers, for all your medical guidance and personal encouragement. Thank you to my LB and Colonial RA staffs. Thank you, Brittany Burke, Katie Krause, and Scott Wallace.
To my health-care professionals, Dr. Trantham, Dr. Honen, Dr. Hulinsky, Dr. Johnson, and Dr. Travias: Thank you all for being so good.
Thank you to the Phi Alpha Tau fraternity and the spring 2013 pledge class for its unconditional support and community. I’m particularly grateful for the care of Christian Bergren-Aragon, Brendan Scully, Daniel Irwin, Ryan Sweeney, Christopher Kavanah, Chris Largent, Eric Maxwell, Benjamin Lindsay, Nic Damasio, Mari Watson, Alicia Carroll, John Lewis, Darian Carpenter, Ethan Weiser, Carey Shannon, and, of course, the incomparable Mike Dunbar.
To my friend Skylar Spear and his family: I love you all so much. I couldn’t have made it to senior prom, never mind anywhere else, without you.
Additional thanks to Tony Ferraiolo and Dru Levasseur, for their live-saving work, and to Tonasia, Mal, Oscar, Alyssandra, Helena, Maha, Caroline, my wonderful roommate Christine, and my friends Kassie King and Matthew Begbie. Love you.
I’d also like to extend massive appreciation to Beacon Press for the care and respect they directed toward our project and for the contributions of Louis Roe and Perpetua Charles to this book’s design and marketing.