Rolo and Smuffins trekked through Old Blorgton in search of a subway station to get back home. They wandered along the cracked sidewalks between the neglected buildings and littered gutters, bearing the burning sun on their backs and enduring the wafting whiffs of warm garbage. Quiggles, however, was unfazed by the foul heat as he zigzagged ahead and eagerly sniffed the assorted scents layered on each lamppost.
A blorxling woman crossed their path, staring at them suspiciously. Strays were not supposed to be wandering around, and they were already wanted fugitives with the earthling catchers on their trail. Rolo lowered his head to avoid attention. But when Smuffins looked up at her with his naturally scowly face, she stepped aside and let them pass. Luckily, most other blorxlings ignored them.
So far, Rolo and Smuffins had passed a hardware store, butcher shop, clothing store, mattress store, robot repair shop, hovercar supply store, bakery, and another clothing store, but no subway. Then Rolo noticed something ahead that sparked an interesting idea. It was a store sign that read:
“Hey Smuffins, look. I think that’s a pet store.”
“So? You need somethin’?”
“Well, I’ve been wondering where earthlings come from, and they know about pets, so they’d probably know, right?”
“What’re you gettin’ at?”
“Let’s go inside for a minute so I can ask them a question.”
“What? We got no time for that. We gotta get home!”
“C’mon. It’ll just take a second,” Rolo pleaded.
Smuffins took a long, skeptical breath, but he gave in.
Rolo looked around to make sure no one was watching. He reached for the door handle, but it was too high. So Smuffins lifted him up on his shoulders, and Quiggles climbed on top of Rolo’s head. Trying not to look suspicious, the three pets, stacked as one, pulled open the door and slipped inside.
Smuffins made a break for one of the aisles.
“You can put me down now,” said Rolo.
“Oh yeah.”
With so many different foods and animals, the pet store smelled like a homey concoction that reminded Rolo of his early childhood.
They followed the sounds of blird squawks and squeaky shlamster wheels to another aisle. On the shelves were rows of glass enclosures displaying a diverse collection of domestic wildlife.
First were the preptiles: glizards, griggums, flogs, slurtles, slakes, and slipples. Then the rogents: shmice, shlamsters, boundos, and blabbits. Quiggles hopped onto the shelves and tapped the glass; the animals glared at him. They passed the flerrets, flurfles, oslossums, kiffies, dorgies, and squawklings. Quiggles made faces at them; they made faces back and stuck out their tongues.
“Quiggles, stop that!” Rolo said in a hushed voice.
Quiggles obeyed, but not before shooting his tongue out at one last dorgy.
They passed more enclosures: gruntlings, blabblings, and earthlings. The first earthling enclosure had twin girls sleeping on a couch. One of the girls was twitching, probably dreaming of running, with her foot sticking in the other girl’s face. In the second enclosure, a man sat on a couch with a bowl in his lap, popping crunchy kibble into his mouth, with brown crumbs on his fingers and his shirt, and the couch, and the floor.
“Hey,” said the man, muffled through the glass.
“Hey,” said Rolo, pausing awkwardly, then moving on.
A store clerk walked by, a round blorxling woman with big hair, wearing a red smock. “Whoa, now how did you two rascals get out?”
She reached down for Rolo, but he stepped back, and Smuffins scampered behind a display stand. Quiggles strolled back to the dorgies to continue making faces at them.
“No, no, no,” Rolo protested. “We’re, uh, we’re here with our owner. She just went over there.” He pointed vaguely toward the back of the store.
“Oh, well aren’t you a cute one!” The clerk knelt down and rubbed Rolo’s belly. He allowed it.
“Hey, um, can I ask you a question?”
“Wow, you wanna ask me a question?” Earthlings weren’t usually this bold with strangers. “Whatchya wanna know?”
“Yeah, uh, we were wondering,” he stammered, “do you know where we came from? I mean earthlings. Where earthlings came from? Like what country?”
“Oh, I did my third-grade thesis on this, dontcha know! We don’t actually know where you’re from. All we know is that you’re not native here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re not Blorxian. Earthlings have a completely different genetic structure, only a double helix.”
Rolo wasn’t sure if he understood. “So we were … engineered?”
“No, no, I mean earthlings aren’t originally from this planet.”
“Wait, what? You mean I’m … an alien?!” Rolo was stupefied.
“Well, yah, you all are.” She said it like it was obvious.
Smuffins slowly leaned out from behind the display stand. “Say whaaa’?”
“Actually,” continued the clerk, “earthlings are considered an invasive species.”
Rolo’s mouth hung open while he tried to process this unreal reality.
Smuffins said in a hushed voice, “Ask her which planet.”
“Oh yeah. Which planet?”
She shrugged. “Not even from our solar system, dontcha know. We don’t really know where.”
“Oh. Why doesn’t anyone know?”
“Well, aren’t you just full of questions!” She smiled. “That’s the mystery, ya see. There’s just no records. But ya know what, I betcha the science museum has some old historical records. It’s only a couple blocks that way.” She stood up and pointed out the window with her antenna. “I could show your owner. But now, where are they?” She turned to look around the shop. “You two really shouldn’t be wandering around off-leash.”
But when she looked back down, Rolo, Smuffins, and Quiggles were gone. They had snuck over to the next aisle and were scurrying toward the door. But first, Quiggles halted in front of a tall display of pet treats, pointing to them and jumping excitedly. Rolo scanned for witnesses, and seeing none, he reached up and grabbed a bag.
The clerk turned the corner and spotted them in the act. “Now what do you think you little rascals are doing?” She hobbled after them.
They rushed down the aisle, pushed their way out the glass door, and dashed down the sidewalk.
The clerk stood in the doorway and watched them run away. “Why, those little bandits!”