Jess set a large tray over one of the warmers on the serving line and turned back to Mary. She handed Jess another and it was placed beside the first.
“You think she’s going to be all right?” Mary asked.
“I hope so. She’s got some kind of crazy-ass plan. I just hope she doesn’t end up in over her head.”
“Who’s over their head?” Kay asked, coming up behind them with a tub full of corn muffins.
“Mine, working out here on the line with all these horny men coming through,” Jess said.
Kay laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, they don’t bite.” She set the tub down and smiled. “Unless you want them to.”
“Well, I don’t. I don’t even want to be around them.”
“Is there anything we can do if they don’t take a hint?” Mary asked.
“You two act like virgins being led to a sacrifice, and they won’t bother you.” The door to the dining hall swung open. “And here they come. You two play nice now.”
Jess and Mary stood on the serving line with two other women. The others had been on the line before and knew some of the men coming through. They talked with them and certainly flirted a little, though it was far less gratuitous than Jess and Mary feared.
A gray-headed man with a military haircut stepped in front of Jess. “Well, hi there, you must be new. What’s your name?”
Jess pointed to her badge. “One four five seven nine oh.”
Laughing he replied, “Well, one four five seven nine oh, I hope you have a good day.” He moved down the line shaking his head.
Jess and Mary shared a sideways glance, then another man sidestepped in front of her and smiled, “Hi, one four five seven nine oh, can I have some”—he paused looking at the tray before him—“of whatever that is?”
Without looking up, Jess dropped a spoonful of hash-brown casserole onto his tray. It went on like this for a while, each man addressing her by her ID number. The novelty wore off quickly. When Mary’s tray ran out, Jess pulled hers as well. Together they went back to the kitchen to get full pans.
“They don’t seem so bad,” Mary said as she dumped the nearly empty tray into the sink.
Jess was scraping the leftovers from her tray into the new one. “I don’t want anything to do with them.”
“Just don’t make it harder than it has to be,” Mary said as she picked up a full tray and headed back to the dining hall.
Jess grabbed the new tray. Before picking it up she leaned against the table, dropping her head. I hate this place, I want out of here! she thought, then dragged the pan from the table and trudged out to the serving line. Dropping the tray onto the warmer, she looked up at the line. It looked like it would never end. No more of this shit for me, having to smile and act nice. It’s the kitchen or nothing. I’m not doing this again.
“You two must be new,” a man in a black uniform said. He was middle-aged with a ’70s porn-star mustache. “And pretty too,” he added, smiling, looking at them both.
Jess held out a scoop of the casserole in a “you want it or not?” gesture.
“If it’s half as good as you look, it has to be good. Load it up, darlin’.”
Jess slapped the lump of rehydrated potatoes and cheese onto the tray with a splat. Keeping eye contact with Jess he raised the tray to his face and took a deep sniff. “Mmm, delicious.”
Get moving or I’m going up the side of your head with this spoon, she thought.
He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “See you around.” Then he moved on to Mary, where he repeated most of the show.
Jess was staring at him, thinking of a number of horrible things to do to him, when a voice spoke up, “Don’t worry about him; he’s all bark and no bite.”
Jess launched another load of potatoes into the tray before her, and the man looked down. “Uh, thanks, I think.” He smiled at her, but Jess stared blankly at him.
Jess was leaned over the sink doing the dishes when Kay walked by. “It wasn’t that bad, now, was it?”
Dropping the scouring pad into a large pot, Jess said, “Kay, I’ll scrub pots every day if it keeps me off that line. I do not want to do it again.”
Kay shook her head. “You know, you’re here and there isn’t anything you can do about it; you may as well try and enjoy it.”
“There’s no joy here; there’s nothing fun here. I’m a prisoner and I’m not about to start acting like I like the people who are keeping me here.”
Kay listened, though she was shaking her head. “All I’m saying is you can make it as good or bad as you want it to be. You think life is any better outside the fence? There are people starving to death out there. They have no clean water, no one to protect them. There’s literally thousands of people who would trade places with you right now.”
“Then let’s trade! Let me go; no one needs to worry about me. If I die, I die, but it will be my choice. Is there any way you can get me out of here?”
“I’m sorry, there isn’t, and honestly, even if I could, I wouldn’t. You wouldn’t last two days out there. You’ve got nowhere to go and no one to help you. And as far as dying, there are worse things than death.”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I walked for a hundred miles right after things fell apart and saw all sorts of shit. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.”
“Knowing what’s out there, you’d rather take your chances than be here with everything you need?”
“I would, because out there, as bad as it may be, I’d be free. Free to succeed or fail, but free.”
“Well, I’m sorry. There isn’t anything I can do to help you. I can’t leave either.”
Sensing Kay was starting to get irritated with her, Jess changed her tone. “Sorry, Kay. I’m just stressed is all. Thanks for letting me vent.”
Kay smiled. “Tell you what, if working on the line bothers you that much, you can work back here.”
“Thanks, Kay, I really appreciate it.”
“I’ve got a little something that might help you relax. I’ll bring it by your room later.”
Mary walked up, and Jess asked, “Where’ve you been?”
She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. “Out there, cleaning up the line. Trying to, anyway.”
“How many of them proposed to you?” Kay asked.
Mary’s eyes widened. “Two, two of them asked me to marry them. How’d you know?”
“Married staff get the perk of private quarters. Don’t worry, there’ll be more,” Kay said.
“Not for me,” Jess said, shaking her head.
Kay reached out and patted her on the shoulder. “No, sweetie, not for you. Mary, help Jess get these last pots cleaned up and you two get out of here.” She left the kitchen, leaving them alone.
“What’s up with you?” Mary asked.
“I just hate these people. I want out of here.”
“You mean Kay?”
“No, not Kay; she’s nice. It’s just the rest of them. This place is getting to me.”
Mary smiled. “I don’t think they’re too bad. To be honest, it was kinda fun for all those guys to hit on me. It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be on eHarmony.gov.”
Mary started to laugh. “That’s a good one. Now, come here and get your dishpan hands on with me.”
They worked together to finish the cleanup. The lunch shift started to filter in as they were wiping down the tables, and they gladly turned it over to them.
“Whoo, I’m glad that’s over,” Mary said, brushing off the front of her coat.
“Me too. I’m going to take a shower. A long, hot shower.”
“Did you hear they set up a library?”
“No, when did that start?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to go check it out. I’d love something to read.”
“Have fun.”
“You want me to look for anything for you?”
“Yeah, find me a book on how to break out of prison.”
Mary laughed and turned to go find the library while Jess went to their room and gathered what she needed for a shower. Unlike the other side of the camp, where men and women used the same showers on alternating days, here the shower facilities were gender specific. Jess set her change of clothes down on a bench and turned on the water. She stepped into the stall and let the hot water run over her. Here, under the steaming water, she could truly be alone for moment. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the wall and let the water flow over her, trying not to think about anything.
After showering and, luxury of luxuries, shaving her legs, she was feeling much better. Walking back to her room, she saw a man was leaning against the end of the unit. He looked up as she approached.
“Hello, darlin’.” It was the guy with the porn-star mustache.
Jess walked around him as though he weren’t there. He took a couple of quick steps to catch up to her. “Hey now, no need to be rude. I just want to introduce myself.”
Jess spun around. “Look, I don’t want to know your name. I don’t have anything to say to you.”
He grinned. “Feisty lil’ filly, ain’t ya?”
“You know what? Go to hell!” Jess shouted as she stomped off toward her quarters.
“I’ll see ya around.” He smiled.
Jess went straight to her room and slammed the door, throwing her stuff into the corner. Who in the hell does he think he is? She wanted to break something, punch something, but there wasn’t anything around. She snatched her pillow up, about to throw it, when she saw a small paper bag. Curious, she turned it upside down, and two small bottles and a note tumbled onto the mattress.
Jess,
I know you’re stressed out. Have a drink and relax.
Kay
Jess smiled and picked up the two bottles. Smirnoff, no less! She twisted the top off one of the bottles and turned it up, draining the shot into her mouth. It burned like gasoline, and she could feel the heat all the way down. She picked up the second bottle and looked it. It’d been a long time since she’d had a drink. Better to save this one, she thought. Standing up, she realized it was a good idea, as she could already feel the liquor. Jess put the bottle in her locker under some clothes and went back to her bunk to lie down to enjoy the short buzz the shot offered.
Jess woke up when the door flung open. Mary came through the door, books pressed to her chest.
“What time is it?” Jess asked, sitting up.
“It’s after three. You take a nap?”
“I guess so. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“You should have come to the library; there’s a ton of books there!” Mary said, dumping the pile onto the table. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I got a few different things.”
“They just let you take them?”
“Yeah, just scan your badge, just like at the regular library.”
Jess fell into one of the chairs and started looking at the books. “Where’d they get all these?”
“They take them from county libraries for safekeeping,” Mary said with a smile.
“Safekeeping my ass; they’re taking them so people can’t use them.”
Mary had brought a couple of romance-style novels as well as a Stephen King book. Jess flipped through them without enthusiasm.
“What else do they have?”
“All kinds of books! Everything, really.”
“Hmm . . . I know you were just there, but wanna go back? I’d like to see it and I’m feeling energized after my nap.”
“Sure, come on, I’ll show ya.”
Mary led her to a large, semirigid tent. Inside were rows and rows of pallets stacked with books. Hanging over the pallets were large block letters that separated the books by subject matter.
Jess followed Mary through the maze, pausing to look at the occasional book. After getting a feel for how it was being organized, Jess went down a row of pallets and started looking at titles.
“What are you looking for?” Mary asked.
“Reference books.”
“About what?”
“Plants. Look for anything on medicinal or edible wild plants.”
Mary shrugged and started going through the piles looking for them. Together they came up with a couple of titles: Stalking the Wild Asparagus by Euell Gibbons and a Peterson Field Guide. Jess took the books to a small desk by the door. A young lady there smiled when she looked up.
“Find what you’re looking for?”
“Yep, a couple,” Jess said, laying the books down.
The girl picked up the books and looked at the titles, then looked at Jess.
“We work in the kitchen and are looking for things we can add to the menu,” Jess said, heading off any questions as to why she had them.
“That’d be nice. Anything fresh would be great.”
“We’re trying.” Jess smiled.
The girl scanned her badge and a bar code on each book and handed them to her.
“You guys already have these in the computer and bar codes on the books?” Jess asked.
“Yeah, we’ve been working on this for a while. FEMA actually had a program all ready for this; we just had to sort the books and get them in the system.” She pointed to the people sorting books. “And as they sort them, we enter them into the system and put them out on the pallets.”
Jess looked at the works. “Where are all the books coming from?”
“They’re taking them from libraries and bookstores.”
“Really, libraries? And the communities around them don’t care?”
The girl shrugged. “I don’t know; they just bring them in here.”
Jess smiled. “Thanks.”
Mary followed Jess out of the tent. “You really looking for plants for the kitchen?”
Jess looked at her. “No, I’m looking for plants we can use when we get the hell out of here.”
Mary jammed her hands into her pockets. “Oh, come on, Jess. You still thinking of getting out?”
“As long as I’m alive I will want out of here.” Jess looked at her. “You coming with me?”
Mary smiled a little reluctantly. “I guess. If you’re gone, there’s no need to stick around here.”
Back in their room, Jess lay out on her bed and started thumbing through the books. Mary was reading a romance novel when she looked up and asked, “Hey, how do you think Fred’s doing?”
“I don’t know. Hope she’s all right.”
“Me too. It would be neat to get out of here for a while.” Mary stared up at the ceiling. “I can’t imagine riding in a car again, going fast with the windows down and the wind blowing.”
“Yeah, I’d like a motorcycle ride, just for that feeling of freedom, ya know?”
“Ooh, no motorcycles for me. I don’t like them, too dangerous.”
“Scaredy-cat. I’d get on one in a heartbeat.”
The rest of the evening was spent reading books and relaxing until they each fell asleep with a book on their chest. The wake-up knock the next morning came early and they got ready for another day in the kitchen. After a trip to the latrine they found Kay waiting for them.
“Good morning, ladies,” Kay said with a flourish of a smile.
“Hey, Kay,” Jess said.
Kay cocked her head to the side. “You feeling better today?”
“Yes. You were right; I just needed to relax.” She turned her head and whispered, “Thanks so much.”
Kay winked at her. “Here’s the menu for today. Can you two take care of making the grits?”
“Sure thing; grits are easy,” Mary said.
“Usually, but I think you’ll find making thirty gallons of them is a little more work,” Kay said.
“I’ll stand here and stir grits all day if it keeps me off that line,” Jess said as she started setting out the giant pots.
They worked their shift, preparing food and cleaning the aftermath. When the last pot was stored, Jess and Mary headed for their room. Jess was looking down at her feet, watching as they pressed into the orange sand.
“Hello, darlin’.”
Jess froze, not wanting to look up.
“I missed you this mornin’. I was really lookin’ forward to seeing you.”
Jess looked up at him and he smiled, pushing the brim of his hat up, a toothpick stuck in the side of his mouth. She wanted to cuss him, kick him or claw his eyes out. What she chose to do was just walk by without acknowledging his presence. As she passed him he took the pick from his mouth and reached out and brushed the hair from her shoulder, two of his fingers lightly gliding over her neck.
Jess spun and slapped his hand away. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” she screamed, pointing at him.
He smiled, replacing the pick in his mouth, and winked at her. Jess was shaking. Now she wanted to kill him. She started to back away, not wanting to turn her back to him.
“I’ll be seein’ ya,” he said, pointing at her, his hand in the shape of a pistol.
Mary followed Jess, looking sideways at the man as she passed. He tipped his hat to her.
“Tell your friend she should be nice to me. I can make her real uncomfortable around here.”
Mary diverted her eyes and followed Jess into their room. Jess kicked the small table in their room as soon as she entered.
“I hate this fucking place! Who does that guy think he is? He’s got no right to touch me!”
Mary sat on Jess’s bed. “He scares me. When I passed him, he said you should be nicer to him ’cause he can make your life miserable.”
Jess spun around. “Oh, I know what he wants!” Jess jabbed her thumb into her chest. “But I decide who touches me! And he’s not going to!”
Jess went to her locker and grabbed the bottle of vodka, ripping the cap from it she tilted her head back and shook the liquor into her mouth as fast as she could.
Mary looked at her wide-eyed. “Where’d you get that?”
Jess let the alcohol burn down her throat, feeling the heat go down to her belly and up to her ears at the same time. She looked back at Mary. “A little bird left it for me.” She put the bottle down on the table and sat down, letting the vodka mellow her fury. She sat staring at the wall, silent, brooding.
“I wish Fred were here,” Mary said. “I hope she’s all right.”
Staring at the wall, Jess replied, “I’m sure she’s all right. I just hope she gets what she wants out of it.”