The sun is setting when we reach Uchmal. This time it’s not just Borjigin waiting for us at the city gate—thankfully, Bishop is there as well, standing tall in spider 01.
I slide off Fenrir and run to him, he hops down from the spider and runs to me. He takes me in his arms. For one sweet moment, we’re not leaders, we’re not soldiers—we are a boy who desperately missed his girl, and a girl who desperately missed her boy. We hold each other in full view of Borjigin, Maria, Nedelka and Lahfah, and we don’t care.
I’m filthy and exhausted from the long, hard ride. I smell like Fenrir. But there’s no time to clean up, no time to rest.
“The Wasp army is coming,” I say to Bishop. “I need to talk to you, in private. Right now. Let’s take your spider.”
He runs a hand over my dirty hair, pulls me in for another fast, desperate hug.
“As you wish,” he says, and walks to the machine.
Maria slides off Fenrir, leans close to me and whispers: “I wish he was taking me for a little private time.”
Our world is ending, yet I can’t help the blood rising to my cheeks.
“It’s not like that!”
Maria grins at me. “Too bad. It should be like that.”
Yes, it should, but there isn’t enough time.
“Please take Lahfah and find Barkah for me,” I say. “Tell him I need to talk to him in my room, alone, in one hour. It’s important.”
Her smile fades a bit. She gives me a what is this about? look, but she doesn’t question me.
“I’ll take care of it,” she says, then kisses my cheek. “Now go see your boy.”
I run to join Bishop.
The waterfall’s roar fills my ears. White mist crashes down, lit up by Omeyocan’s twin moons. Blurds zip in and out of the spray. I wonder if they are playing.
“Now can you tell me what this is about?” Bishop asks. “We don’t have time for dramatic nonsense. Why did you ask me to come here?”
We’re standing in the spider’s cockpit. As we drove from the gate to the waterfall, I told him about the Wasp army, the battle, how outnumbered we are. He’s anxious to get back to our people and start planning for Uchmal’s defense. But before that, I will say what must be said.
“We’re here because this is where we first kissed. Where we first saw a spider. It was here that everything changed for us—and it’s here that everything will change again.”
Bishop shakes his head in exasperation. I’m clearly trying his patience.
“Em, I love you, but you’re playing games. Every second matters. Get on with it.”
I take his hands in mine.
“We can’t beat their army,” I say. “We have to leave.”
Bishop thinks for a moment, choosing his words carefully.
“That might be the best strategy. If those cannons you saw have a greater range than ours, they can sit back and hammer the towers. The Observatory’s antimissile batteries are almost out of ammo. If we lose the tower cannons, the Wasps can march right in or land troops anywhere they like. Maybe you’re right—we take everyone to the ruins, go underground with Barkah. Then we fight a guerrilla campaign. We hit them where we want, when we want.”
“Like the Belligerents did? We wiped them out, remember?”
That stops him for a moment.
“We’re smarter than they were,” he says. “Barkah’s people hid from the automated spiders for centuries. We can hide from the Wasps the same way.”
I shake my head.
“That’s not the life I want our people to live. When I said we need to leave, I didn’t mean leave Uchmal. We need to return to the Xolotl.”
His eyes narrow in confusion.
“But you said there’s no weapons on that ship. All the Xolotl has to offer is a few old fighter craft. What would be the purpose of going up there?”
He is a warrior through and through, bred to defend his people. The thought of running is so contrary to who he is that he can’t even process what I’m telling him.
This will be hard for him to hear. Almost as hard as it is for me to say.
“The purpose would be to leave Omeyocan. For good. I’m giving the order to abandon the planet.”
Even this simple statement takes him a few moments to comprehend. I watch his face change from loving to guarded.
“But this is our home.”
I shake my head. “It never really was. This place is poison.”
His eyes narrow with anger.
“This world is ours. We’ve fought for it. We were made for it. We can’t leave.”
I put my hands on his shoulders.
“We leave or we die, Bishop. You have to see that.”
He flinches away as if he suddenly can’t stand my touch. That move was a reaction, he didn’t think about it at all, yet it makes my heart drop.
“I can’t believe you want to give up. You? Em Savage? Miss if you run your enemies will find you? You’ve gotten us through worse! You overcame Aramovsky’s lies. You stopped the Springer war. You’re the reason we escaped the Xolotl in the first place. That place was hell, and now you want to take us back?”
His voice is rising. He’s never yelled at me before, not even once.
“The Wasps have weapons we can’t beat.” I keep my voice level. I don’t want to aggravate him further. “And there’s another alien ship coming, remember? The Wasps won’t be the last enemy we face. But that doesn’t matter—the Grub is driving people crazy. It’s made us hate each other, fight each other. It’s made us kill each other.”
“Spingate was weak,” he says.
“When you strangled Victor, was that just weakness?”
“He hit you!”
“In a training session,” I say. “In a fair fight, the way he’s done a hundred times before. You almost killed him! You attacked him from behind, like a coward.”
Bishop leans back as if I’d just slapped him.
“I am no coward.”
“No, you’re not. You’re also not a murderer, but on the training ground you almost were. And if I’d had my normal spear close by, Bawden would be dead. That’s the Grub’s influence. If it can make you and me give in to rage, what do you think it will do to the others when its power grows?”
He crosses his arms.
“Then we kill it now, before it gets stronger.”
“We don’t…have…time! The Wasps will be here tomorrow. The Grub could rise at any moment, and when it does, I don’t think any of us will be able to resist. I saw it, I felt it. When it rises, we won’t just be fighting the Wasps, we’ll be fighting the Springers, too. And we’ll be fighting each other.”
“If anyone comes at me, I will destroy them!” His face twists into something primitive and hateful. He snarls, slams a fist against the cockpit’s back wall. “I’ve killed before and I will kill again! Do you hear me? And if you try and stop me, Em, I swear to the God of Blood that I will kill YOU!”
His words hang in the air like the waterfall’s mist.
I stand very still, say nothing.
Bishop blinks. He’s confused. His hateful face grows slack. His cheeks flush bright red.
“Em, I’m…I don’t know…I didn’t mean to say that.”
I force myself to take his hands again.
“It’s all right,” I say softly. “That’s what the Grub does to us. It makes us hate. Maybe you didn’t like Victor to begin with, but you love me—you just threatened my life. Now do you understand?”
He looks at the waterfall, refuses to meet my eyes. Maybe the Grub is affecting him, but Ramses Bishop doesn’t believe in excuses; he said the words, which means he’s at fault for saying them.
“We have a way out,” I say. “Did Zubiri tell you how long until our shuttle is fueled?”
Bishop nods. “She thinks tomorrow around midnight.”
It’s just past sunset now. Maria thinks the Wasps will be here around this time tomorrow—midnight will be too late. I know Zubiri and Gaston are working as fast as they can. We’ll have to find a way to slow the Wasps down.
“What about the captured troopships?”
“Sooner than the shuttle,” he says. “Nevins is scheduled to do the first test flight tomorrow at noon, Cathcart right after that. Then they have hull integrity checks, or something like that.”
He continues to stare at the waterfall.
“Bishop, look at me.”
I reach for his face, to cup it, to hold it—with a sharp wave of his arm, he slaps my hands away.
Tears in his eyes. He feels betrayed. The person he loves is asking him to abandon everything he stands for.
“If you want to run, coward, then run,” he says. “Take your godsdamned shuttle and leave. I will stay. I will fight.”
I knew it would come to this. He won’t be the only one that feels this way. Bishop is an icon among us—if he stays, many will follow his lead. As a people, we must not be divided. Despite Bishop’s bravery, despite his skill as a warrior, despite his dedication to protecting our home against anyone and everyone, if he stays, he will die.
And so will those who stay because of him.
That I will not allow.
“Bishop…do you love me?”
The words crack his anger, but don’t destroy it.
“You know I do. Don’t dare use that against me.”
I already feel like a villain, because I am manipulating him, but I need him on my side no matter what it takes.
“Staying is suicide,” I say. “For you, for anyone who won’t leave. If you love me, Bishop, if you truly love me, then trust in me.”
Physically, Bishop is the strongest of us. But this isn’t a test of physical strength—this is a test of will. When it comes to that, I am more powerful than anyone.
“We’re going to take control of the Xolotl,” I say. “If we have to kill Matilda and her people to do that, then so be it.”
He finally looks at me. “What about the descendants of the vassals? Will we have to kill them as well?”
I thought Old Victor and Marcus were in league with Matilda, but now I believe that was the God of Blood warping my thoughts. If we have to fight them, we will, but I hope we don’t have to.
“They told me they want us there,” I say. “Together, we can make a new culture.”
If I want Bishop on my side, I must be merciless. I must use every weapon I have. I hate myself for this, but lives depend on it.
“A new culture,” I say. “Not just for you and me…for our children as well.”
He lets out a half breath. He’s stunned. He stares at me with his yellowish eyes…those big, soulful eyes.
“Children,” he says. “Do you mean it?”
I reach out, slowly, and take his hand, expecting him to pull away again. He does not. He’s the most powerful man I know, yet now his hands are limp, almost lifeless. When I slide my fingers between his, they barely flex at all.
“Do this for me,” I say softly. “Our people need to see that you and I are unified.”
His fingers curl around mine. His eyes narrow, his jaw clenches. He nods.
“I support you, Em. Now and forever. When you announce your plan, I’ll be at your side.”
I have him. This is the right thing to do, and yet inside I feel so utterly wrong. I don’t know if I want children. If we make it out of this alive and I choose against having kids with Bishop, will he ever forgive me?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that the dead can’t forgive anyone.
I will keep Bishop alive.
Him, and as many of my people as I can.
“We have to go,” I say. “As soon as we’re back, call a general meeting. I want everyone in the Grand Hall, even the tower crews. Man the cannons with Springers until the meeting is done.”
Bishop nods. He guides the spider toward the Observatory.
I look back at the waterfall. I watch our special place fade into the distance, knowing that I will never see it again.