The woods around him lay cloaked in eerie stillness. Joel swallowed hard. The quiet unnerved him more than the rat-tat-tat of machine guns or the explosive sounds of shells. At least, running pell-mell toward an erupting battlefield left little to the imagination. On the other hand, the absence of noise conjured up a host of unknowns. Silence meant hidden dangers and the possibility of an ambush.
If only his men hadn’t been pinned down at the beginning of the battle. Now they had to play catch-up with the infantry.
Joel scrutinized the shadows. Out ahead he’d been told there were ravines, dark and foreboding, the perfect hiding place for the Germans to wait.
Someone bumped his shoulder—Ralph. “We’re right behind you, Campbell.”
He straightened his shoulders and gave a decisive nod. They were counting on him to get them back to the infantry, as unscathed as possible. They’d been lucky so far, despite taking heavy fire earlier. He’d have to trust that luck—and God—would be with them again, whatever the unseen challenges ahead.
Joel motioned for the group to move forward, keeping them close to the trees as much as possible. When the ground started to slope upward, he signaled for everyone to stop once more.
Could the Germans be hiding out on the other side? Joel hated the idea of dividing his men, but their odds of surviving were better in two groups than one. Then they’d be shooting at the Germans from both sides. It was their best chance. He would lead one group, and Ralph would take the other.
Before Joel had even finished outlining the plan, though, Ralph began shaking his head. Irritation rose inside him. There wasn’t time for arguing—they needed to reach the rest of the Army, and fast.
“Send Davis with those guys,” Ralph reasoned. “You and I are a team, Campbell. We work better together than anyone else here. And you know it.”
Joel hesitated, suddenly unsure of the right course. It wasn’t a familiar or pleasant feeling. Should he use his position as squad leader to force Ralph into compliance? But it would be futile. Ralph did what Ralph wanted.
“Fine,” Joel snapped. He hated Ralph’s obstinacy at times, but it did make his best friend a good soldier. And right now, walking into the unknown with someone as bullheaded and loyal as Ralph didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
While Davis and his group headed northeast, Joel guided the rest of his men southeast into the trees bordering the hill. They inched through the woods as quietly as they could, though the sound of snapping branches and heavy footfalls couldn’t be silenced completely.
Near the brow of the hill, Joel stopped the group. He scanned the ravine below, but he couldn’t see any enemy soldiers. To the north, Davis and the others were moving into a meadow, several hundred yards off the ravine.
“He’s marching too fast,” Joel muttered over his shoulder to Ralph.
“Let’s pick it up then.”
They maneuvered down the hill. Joel held his breath as they reached the bottom. But no Germans appeared. No machine guns burst into life. Farther ahead, he could see Davis waiting for them at the edge of the meadow.
Joel blew out a sigh. Maybe he’d been too cautious. Glancing back at Ralph and the others, he smiled reassuringly.
He turned forward again, only to have the air explode around them. Joel’s lungs filled with the concussion, and his body flew backward. He plowed through a bush ten feet away, landing on his left arm. He heard the ugly crunch, and somewhere his brain registered the broken bone. But the pain coming from the lower half of his body blocked out all other thoughts and senses.
“Campbell? Campbell? Can you hear me?”
Joel forced his eyelids open. How long had he been out? Davis hovered over him, his expression bordering on panic.
“There were…” Davis sucked in a hard breath. “Germans. Germans in the ravine. They launched a shell—right in the middle of…of…” He shuddered and ran a hand over his dirty beard.
“The others?” Could that whisper of a voice be his?
Davis glanced away. “We’re applying what aid we can, but you’re the only one conscious right now.”
The overwhelming pain fought against his mind again and won. Snatches of movement and conversation flitted through his thoughts of home and family. The agony of his broken body pushed through the numbness now and then, especially when he felt himself being hoisted into the air or bumped.
When he managed to open his eyes again, he was staring at the canvas ceiling of a tent. Waves of hurt rolled through him. He turned his head to look for a doctor and discovered Ralph lying in the cot next to him.
“Kelley?” he croaked out of his dry throat. “You alive?”
Ralph didn’t stir. A blanket had been drawn up to his chin. Fear momentarily blocked the pain of Joel’s injuries. Something wasn’t right. Why wasn’t Ralph moving or cussing Joel out for getting themselves shot?
“Kelley,” Joel tried again. He put all of his waning energy into making his voice heard.
This time Ralph moaned. Only it wasn’t a moan; it was a name.
“Evelyn…Evelyn…”
So that was her name—the girl Ralph had talked about for weeks now. The beautiful nurse he’d met on leave. There was only one reason Ralph would speak her name out loud. Tears burned Joel’s eyes. “What can I do, Kelley?”
“Tell her…”
Tell her what? That Ralph loved her, that her name had been on his lips right before he died? How would he even find this girl?
But Joel couldn’t refuse his best friend. Not now. “I will, Ralph. I will.”
A doctor bustled over to Joel’s cot, throwing out orders to the medical orderly behind him. In the flurry of having his body bandaged and his arm temporarily set, Joel couldn’t see or talk to Ralph again.
Finally the doctor straightened. “Try to rest, son. The ambulance will be here shortly to take to you to the nearest hospital.”
Joel tipped his head in Ralph’s direction. “My buddy…Private Kelley…Can you help him, too?”
The doctor glanced down at Ralph and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Corporal. Your friend didn’t make it.”
The words echoed over and over in Joel’s mind—“didn’t make it, didn’t make it.”
Guilt every bit as suffocating and sharp as his pain overwhelmed Joel. He couldn’t get enough breath to fill his lungs, and the blanket on top of him felt as hot and smothering as fire.
“Corporal?”
What did the doctor want now?
“Corporal Campbell?”
The voice wasn’t the doctor’s; it was a feminine voice—one he’d heard before.
Joel opened his eyes and sucked in a shuddering breath. The scent of iodine and floor cleaner filled his nose and anchored his chaotic thoughts. He was in the hospital.
He peered at the figure standing beside his bed. “Evelyn…” The name slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, a remnant of the day he’d just relived in his dreams. Her eyes widened in response before she glanced over her shoulder with a frown. “I mean, Nurse Gray. You…uh…startled me.”
“You were restless.” Her voice carried defensiveness. “Perhaps I should have let you keep sleeping.”
He pushed off his blanket and felt instant relief from the heat and sweat of his nightmare. “I’m fine. Just…warm.”
“Would you like a glass of water?”
Joel looked past her to find the other two nurses in the room occupied with other tasks. So that was the reason Evelyn had come to assess his restless sleep. Not out of choice but duty. That explained her guarded tone and confirmed what Joel already suspected. She’d been avoiding him, ever since their last conversation when he’d guessed about her being pregnant.
Evelyn tapped the toe of her shoe against the floor. “If you don’t want the water—”
“I don’t. But do you need some?”
The tapping stopped. Even in the half-lit room, Joel could see the lines of fatigue on her porcelain face. She didn’t look as pale as she had the other night, but working the night shift couldn’t be easy for a woman in her condition.
“Are you planning on walking again and procuring me a glass?” Her deadpan expression might have fooled him, but her dark eyes glittered with what he guessed was a trace of amusement.
“I could…but then, you might not get the water until tomorrow morning.”
A faint chuckle and a shake of her head followed his remark. “In that case, I’m fine. Thank you.” She brushed some hair from her forehead that had escaped her nurse’s cap. One black curl refused to stay tucked, brushing her eyebrow in rebellion. “Is there anything I can get you?”
He tried to think of something to detain her at his bedside, but he had nothing. “No. I’m all right.”
“I might as well check your injuries now that you’re awake.”
Was she searching for a reason to linger, too? He dismissed the foolish notion. Evelyn was nothing if not professional, at least until it had come to Ralph.
Joel gritted his teeth against any embarrassment as Evelyn pulled back his blanket to examine his wounds. He still hated the personal intrusion that came with this part of hospital care.
Remnants of his dream still clung to him like cobwebs. And yet it was more than a dream. He’d been reliving the horror of that day as if it were happening to him all over again.
If he’d insisted that Ralph lead the other group, his best friend would still be alive. And now he had the added guilt of robbing Evelyn’s unborn child of a father. Joel welcomed Evelyn’s attention on his injuries instead of his face at the moment. He feared she’d read the searing self-reproach in his expression.
He could easily envision Ralph and Evelyn married and settled somewhere in the Midwest, a whole passel of rascally boys and pretty girls of their own. Ralph would’ve taught his sons how to shoot a gun and spit watermelon seeds. Evelyn would’ve taught her girls how to cook and properly bandage a cut. His own regrets at not being able to have a family might have been easier to bear if he’d been able to share in Ralph and Evelyn’s joy.
If he only he could go back, make a different decision, alleviate the responsibility eating at him. Especially now that he knew about Ralph and Evelyn’s baby.
“I think your leg needs redressing.”
Joel swung his gaze to hers. He’d been so caught up in his reproachful thoughts he’d nearly forgotten her presence. Evelyn raised her eyebrows in question. “That’d be fine,” he replied.
Evelyn returned a few minutes later, her hands full of supplies, which she set on the table next to his bed. Now that he was wide awake, he figured he’d work on strengthening the hand of his broken arm. He clenched and unclenched his fingers, his eyes trained on the window, while Evelyn bent to cut away his bandage.
A sharp intake of breath followed by the clatter of metal against the wood floor jerked Joel’s attention back to Evelyn. She stood frozen beside his bed, holding one hand in the other.
“Nurse Gray?”
When she didn’t respond, Joel scooted higher up on his pillows. The action brought a temporary wave of pain, but he was beginning to move about in bed without constant agony from his injuries. Nurse Thornton had told him he could try walking tomorrow.
“Evelyn?” He kept his voice low. “Are you all right?”
She peered down at him, her face white. “I—I cut my finger with the scissors. I’m not sure how it happened.”
“How bad are you hurt?”
“I’m bleeding. And I can’t stand the sight of my own…”
Joel reached out to grip her wrist when she started to sway. “Do you feel like you’re going to faint?”
“I think…I…might.”
“Sit down.”
She shook her head and tried to pull back against his hand. “No. I can’t. It’s not…proper.”
Joel stifled a laugh. Of all the rules she was afraid to break, sitting on the edge of his bed had to be the least worrisome, especially given her time with Ralph. “I think it’ll be fine, just this once. We don’t want you hurting yourself”—he refrained from adding and the baby—“if you faint.”
She hesitated a moment longer, then removing her hand from his, she sank onto the bed. “I—I’m sorry.”
“How bad is it?”
“I can’t look.” She pressed her lips together and turned her head.
Joel extended his good hand. “Can I see?”
Evelyn placed her fisted hand inside his palm. Slowly he began uncurling her fingers. In response, she shivered as if cold. How soft her skin felt beneath his touch. He absently rubbed his fingertip over one of her knuckles. His heart pumped faster as the same electric feeling they’d shared the other day shot through him again. Joel glanced at Evelyn’s face to see if she felt it, too, but her eyes were glued elsewhere.
Get a grip, Campbell. This is Ralph’s girl.
Inhaling a breath of stale hospital air to clear his head, he moved her fingers to find a splotch of blood near her pinkie. Joel set her hand on the bed and reached for the bandage she’d brought for him. After dabbing the cloth against the cut, he examined her hand again.
“It doesn’t look deep, but I’ll tie this around the cut to help stop the bleeding.” He used his teeth to rip off a smaller section of the bandage. Tying it with one hand wasn’t easy, but he finally managed it. “There you go.”
She lifted her hand and inspected his handiwork. “Thank you.” A flicker of a smile relaxed her mouth. “Maybe you should have been a medic.”
“Maybe,” he said with a soft laugh. He wanted to make her smile fully, to do what he could do to ease the burden he’d unknowingly placed upon her with his decision the other day. “How did you become a nurse if the sight of blood makes you faint?”
Her smile deepened, as he’d hoped. “It sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it? But it’s only my own blood that bothers me. I can doctor anyone else’s cuts and hurts as long as they aren’t my own.” She climbed to her feet, bringing instant cold to Joel’s right side.
Why did he like having her sit beside him? Or talking with him? No wonder Ralph had fallen in love with her after only a day or two. Evelyn was not only beautiful, but compassionate and funny and brave.
“Will you be all right?” he asked, trying desperately to derail his own thoughts.
She nodded. “I’ll get another bandage and finish up here.” Her tone sounded almost curt, which meant she’d reverted back to her role of practiced nurse. The wall she’d been erecting between them since Joel had learned of her pregnancy had returned. Only Ralph had successfully broken through that barrier—and now he was gone. The tiniest spark of jealousy ignited inside Joel, but he fought it off by pushing it deeper within himself.
When she’d finished redressing his wounds, she pulled his blanket back up, but he noticed she was careful not to brush her fingers against his nightshirt. “Is there anything else you need?”
He shook his head, but Evelyn didn’t move.
“Please don’t say anything,” she pleaded in a near whisper, “about sitting on your bed. Or about Ralph and me…and our…” A sigh escaped her lips as her hand rose to touch the middle of her nurse’s apron. Was the movement unconscious?
Joel waited until she looked at him with those lovely, dark eyes. “I won’t. I promise.”
The relief and gratitude shining in her gaze nearly had the power to make him abandon all his well-meaning thoughts about her being Ralph’s. With great effort, he forced his attention back to the window across the room. The darkened window. It was like looking into his own future.
“Good night, Corporal Campbell.”
He sensed her watching him, but he wouldn’t turn his head. “Good night, Ev—” He bit back her first name. “Good night, Nurse Gray.”
She hesitated by his bed a moment or two longer, then spun on her heel and walked away. Joel placed his hand on the spot where she’d sat next to him, though the blanket no longer held the warmth of her presence. The sooner he left here, the better. The last thing he needed was to heap more guilt on himself by harboring an attraction for his best friend’s girl.
* * *
Evelyn leaned against the wall in the hallway and examined her bandaged hand. The feel of Joel’s capable fingers lingered like cologne on her skin. She hadn’t wanted to see what was disturbing his sleep, hadn’t wanted to talk to him at all after he’d guessed the truth about her and Ralph. And yet his quick jokes and genuine concern for her well-being had almost succeeded in tearing through her defenses. Especially when she’d once again felt that lightning sensation at his touch.
What am I doing? She moaned and pressed the bridge of her nose, a headache already building. She shouldn’t be thinking about another soldier in such a way. Ralph was the man she loved, and if she could no longer have him in her life, then she wouldn’t add insult to injury by breaking the rules all over again.
She lowered her hand to her back and massaged the sore muscles. Her feet ached, too, and if she didn’t keep sipping coffee, her eyes wouldn’t stay open.
Pushing off the wall, she went to inspect the other ward, but a surge of nausea hit her full force. When had she last eaten? Evelyn clapped a hand to her mouth and rushed into the bathroom. She made it just in time to relieve her coffee-drowned stomach into the sink. Once she finished retching, she washed her mouth and face.
The fatigue of being pregnant and performing the night shift, while also avoiding Joel, had taken more of a toll on her body than she’d thought. Her limbs felt shaky and her head had begun to swim with dizziness. Evelyn slid to the floor. Hot tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as she drew her knees to her chest and laid her chin on top.
“We need sleep, don’t we, little one?” she murmured.
Her heavy eyelids drooped, taunting her to give in to the sleep she craved so badly. But she couldn’t be caught sleeping. Not when she needed to be the best nurse at the hospital.
She pushed herself back to her feet and left the bathroom. When she entered the other ward, she found the two nurses on duty talking quietly in a corner of the room, instead of seeing to patients. They straightened to attention when Evelyn strode toward them.
“Is there a problem?” Perhaps they were discussing what to do about one of the soldiers.
Both nurses shook their heads. One of them, a blonde named Sophie Whiteson, blushed. “I was only telling Abigail my news. We made sure all of our patients were cared for first.”
“And what is the news?” Evelyn asked, doing her best to sound more interested than she felt.
Nurse Whiteson smiled. “Sister Marcelle told me today I’m being transferred to the front lines. I leave in two days.” She clasped her hands to her chest. “I can’t wait. I’ve been wishing for this since I came to France.”
“You’re so lucky,” Abigail Tabbott gushed. “I hope I get transferred there.”
Why? Evelyn bit back the question. She’d never understood the other nurses’ fascination, at St. Vincent’s or at the other hospital where she’d worked, to serve at the front lines. While she wanted to help wherever she was assigned, she preferred doing it somewhere with regular hours and breaks, nice accommodations, and little danger.
“You never know.” Nurse Whiteson gave her friend’s arm a reassuring pat. “You know how the Army is—one week you’re here and the next you could be at the front. You could be transferred there anytime.”
The two of them moved away to check on the patients, leaving Evelyn alone—and shaken. You could be transferred there anytime. Nurse Whiteson’s optimistic words repeated in Evelyn’s head, but they had taken on an ominous, foreboding tone. She dropped into a seat at the nearby table, unable to remain on her feet any longer.
When she had formed her plan regarding what to do about her pregnancy, she’d completely overlooked the possibility of being transferred again. At any moment, she could be assigned to the front lines. What would she do then?
She could refuse to go, on the grounds that she was pregnant, but then she might not have garnered enough support from the sisters to be allowed to stay at St. Vincent’s. On the other hand, she couldn’t go to the front while she was carrying a child. The long hours, the cold and the mud, the Germans close by—that wasn’t a place for a pregnant nurse. Neither was the harried pace of the front conducive to leniency. The Army was more likely to arrange for her passage home, once they learned about the baby, than to find her a different, safer situation.
Her headache intensified at the predicament, along with the sickness in her stomach. But now fear mingled with the nausea. Evelyn picked up the ledger book from the table, but when she tried to read the notes, her mind refused to process the information. A fresh wave of dizziness swept over her. She shut her eyes against the tilting room, unaware of anyone’s approach until someone touched her sleeve.
“Evelyn?”
She opened her eyes to find Nurse Whiteson staring at her with a worried expression. “Are you sick?”
Evelyn opened her mouth to deny it, but the words wouldn’t come. She felt so weary and ill at the moment she no longer cared if she were discharged on the spot—as long as she could sleep before leaving.
“You look white as a ghost. Why don’t you go back to your room?” Nurse Whiteson gestured to the hallway. “There are only a few hours until our shift ends anyway. We’re fine here, and I’m sure the others can get along well enough for a little longer.”
Evelyn slowly rose. She could muster up the energy to finish her shift, couldn’t she? But the thought of sleep—and the chance to forget about Joel and Ralph and her ruined plans—proved too tantalizing for her fatigued mind and body. “Are you sure?”
Nurse Whiteson nodded and gave her a gentle push toward the door. “Go sleep. We’ll be fine.”
Evelyn wanted to beg her not to tell Sister Marcelle about leaving the shift early, but that would only raise suspicion. Instead she’d get some much-needed sleep, then throw her reputation on the good graces of her fellow nurses.
She left the ward and descended the stairs, gripping the banister tight to keep from stumbling in her tired, dizzy state. Rather than winding her way to the back of the building, she let herself out the main doors. Dark still cloaked the world outside the hospital. Evelyn welcomed the coolness of the predawn against her flushed cheeks. The air tasted of dew as she inhaled deeply.
Removing her cap, she walked around the hospital and across the lawn to the nurses’ building. She added her shoes to the cap in her hands and crept up the stairs. When she reached her and Alice’s room, she climbed onto her bed without bothering to change out of her uniform and apron. Within moments, sweet slumber claimed her.
* * *
Daylight nudged Evelyn awake. She blinked at the sunshine pouring through the slit in the curtains. Stretching, she sat up. Alice’s bed was empty, as she’d expected. On the bedside table, someone had placed a plate of dried toast. An unexpected but welcome surprise. The small meal would allow her to stay out of the dining room for a while and hopefully keep the others—especially Sister Marcelle—from learning she’d left her shift early.
Evelyn picked up the plate, suddenly famished. A folded note dropped to the wood floor, and she bent to collect it. She sampled a bite of the toast, then opened the note. Alice’s name was scrawled along the bottom.
I heard you weren’t feeling well. Hope this toast I commandeered from Cook will help.
Evelyn smiled.
I’ll check in on you later when my shift is over.
P.S. Sister Marcelle asked me to tell you she wants to visit with you at 3:00 today.
The single bite in Evelyn’s stomach felt as heavy as a mortar shell. The head sister wanted to meet with her. She hadn’t escaped the consequences of leaving her shift. She’d only fooled herself into thinking sleep would somehow change things.
A glance at the clock on the bureau confirmed she had only a few hours before her meeting. The thought revived her queasiness from earlier and she fled to the bathroom. Though the feeling eventually faded, Evelyn felt every bit as shaky and dizzy as she had before sleeping. She returned to her bed and forced down a few more bites of toast. She attempted to sleep, but every time she started to doze, she saw the disappointed faces of her grandmother and grandfather in her mind’s eye.
Finally she gave up trying to fall back asleep. She removed her wrinkled dress and stained apron for her other pair. A glance at her stomach drew an audible groan from her lips. There was a slight bump there she’d been too busy or too tired to notice sooner.
Panic made her fingers shake as she pulled on a clean dress and utility apron. Sister Marcelle would likely question her health after Evelyn had abandoned her shift early this morning. What should she say in response? She couldn’t hide her exhaustion and sickness much longer.
Evelyn paced the small room. The four walls seemed to press in on her, and the air felt too stale and hot. There had to be a way to avoid telling everyone the truth this soon, a way to avoid being transferred to the front. But what? She tried to breathe in deeply, but her chest felt tight. Nausea threatened again, but she clamped her teeth against it.
No wonder she couldn’t think or breathe. The room was stifling. She knelt on her bed and wrenched the window open, inhaling deep gulps of the cooler outside air. On the lawn below, several soldiers sat reading or dozing in chairs. To one side, a soldier, attempting to walk, leaned heavily on a cane, while a nurse hovered near him. Evelyn peered more closely at the man. It was Joel. She glanced at the hand he’d bandaged last night. Next to Ralph, she hadn’t met another soldier as genuine and kind as Joel Campbell.
She watched as he limped a few steps, then stopped to rest with the aid of his cane. Even without seeing his face clearly, she could guess at the determination etched there. He would do all he could to leave as quickly as possible. Then he’d be gone. The thought filled her with a sharp sense of sadness. She would miss his kindness and his sense of humor and, most of all, his connection to Ralph.
What would happen to Joel when he went home, now that he couldn’t have the big family he’d always wanted? He would still make a good husband, if he could find someone willing to accept not having children. Perhaps a widow with a child of her own.
Evelyn rested her head against the window frame. The fresh air had calmed her nausea, but it hadn’t assuaged her frazzled nerves. She still had to face Sister Marcelle and the reality of being discharged much sooner than she’d planned. If only she and Ralph had been able to marry before he’d been killed…
A flash of brilliance made her sit up straight. If she married someone else, she could avoid devastating her grandparents and being transferred, too. But who would she marry here? Her gaze drifted out the window and alighted on Joel. Like a kaleidoscope coming into focus, her scattered thoughts coalesced into a plan. She would ask Corporal Joel Campbell to marry her. He would still have the chance to be a father, to her child, and she would no longer be an unwed nurse with a baby on the way. She would be helping both of them with her proposal.
The longer she pondered the bold idea, the better it sounded. Setting her jaw, Evelyn put on her shoes and left the room. Her heart drummed faster, almost painfully so, as she rushed down the stairs. It would work—it had to work. And the sooner she presented her plan to Joel and gained his approval, the better. Then she could face Sister Marcelle with the hope that even if she were discharged today, she wouldn’t seal her grandparents’ failing health by showing up unannounced and pregnant.
Outside Evelyn headed straight toward Joel. She needed to conjure up some reason to take over helping him walk, in order to talk to him. To her relief, she saw the nurse with him was none other than shy Nurse Shaw.
Evelyn tucked an errant curl back beneath her nurse’s cap and smoothed the front of her apron. She must look her best.
“Nurse Shaw?” Evelyn kept her tone light and friendly as she approached the two. Joel twisted to face her. Was that anticipation in his hazel eyes at seeing her? She didn’t have time to analyze it. “Have you had lunch yet?”
Nurse Shaw shot a glance at Joel and shook her head.
“I’ve already eaten,” Evelyn explained, “so I can relieve you here, if you’d like.”
The other nurse hesitated a moment. “All right. If you’re sure.”
Evelyn nodded. “How far did you plan to walk?”
“To there.” Nurse Shaw pointed to the nearest corner of the hospital.
“Don’t I get any say in how far we go?” Joel muttered darkly, but his mouth twitched with a hidden smile.
Nurse Shaw relinquished her post at his right side to allow Evelyn to take her place. “Shall we?” she asked Joel as the other nurse headed across the lawn.
He glanced from her to the hospital. “I think Nurse Shaw may have been a bit ambitious.”
“Probably at Nurse Thornton’s bidding. Would you rather rest?” She held her breath, hoping he’d agree. Sitting down would mean a chance to reveal her plan to him.
He eyed the distance again, then shook his head. “I’ll keep going.”
Evelyn swallowed a sigh of momentary defeat. Surely a few more minutes wouldn’t make a difference. There was still plenty of time to talk to him before she faced Sister Marcelle.
Joel shuffled forward, most of his weight on his cane. Evelyn walked alongside him and kept close watch in case he looked as if he might fall. “You’re doing rather well for your first day out of bed.”
“Do you mean that?” he said, throwing her a quick look. “Or is that what you say to all your patients when they’re sweating like pigs after going five steps?”
Evelyn couldn’t help laughing. “No, really. I mean it.”
After another four or five steps, he stopped. His shoulders rose and fell with labored breaths. The corner of the hospital stood a good ten feet away still.
“Keep going or rest?” she prodded gently.
“Keep going.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened as he moved forward one step, then another. Evelyn studied his profile as she moved slowly alongside him. No one would deny he was handsome. But could she imagine Joel as her husband? She still knew very little about him, and he even less about her. And yet her plan gave them both what they wanted out of life. While it might not be a marriage born of love, she believed they could be happy. Couldn’t they?
Joel edged ahead of her, his face a mask of stone, his gaze riveted on the corner of the hospital. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead, but he plodded forward.
“You’re almost there.” She’d never spent time with the soldiers learning to walk and move about again, but she liked seeing Joel’s progress. “Just a little farther.”
With a single cry and a slight lunge, he crossed the final few feet and slapped his hand against the gray stone wall of the hospital. His breath was coming so hard he had to bend over, but he threw her a triumphant smile first. It was the first real smile she’d seen on him since his arrival at St. Vincent’s, and Evelyn felt a strange thrill in her stomach at having it bestowed on her.
“Take that,” he said, giving the building a whack with his cane. “I’ll be back at the front in no time.”
All the more reason to ask for his help now.
She took a step backward and pointed over her shoulder. “I’m going to get a chair and let you rest here.”
Without waiting for his response, she found an empty lawn chair and proceeded to drag it over to where Joel leaned against the hospital. Once she had him seated, she brought another chair over for herself.
Joel rested his head on the back of the chair and blew out his breath. “That was harder than I thought it’d be. At home I could run a hundred times that distance and not be winded.”
“Give yourself time. You’ll be back to running before you know it.”
He murmured agreement and shut his eyes. Was he planning to sleep? She needed to talk to him—now—before her meeting with Sister Marcelle. Evelyn threw a furtive glance at the others seated around the lawn. No one was looking in their direction. This was her moment.
She scooted to the edge of her chair and clasped her hands in her lap. Any words she meant to speak, though, became lodged in her throat. The sun felt suddenly too warm, her mouth too dry. Could she really propose marriage to a practical stranger?
The bandage he’d tied around her cut rubbed against her clammy skin. She glanced down at the cloth. Not only was he kind, but Joel was also Ralph’s best friend and the squad leader he’d revered. She had nothing to fear from at least asking.
She pinched her eyes shut for a moment, gathering her courage. When she opened them, she forced herself to speak. “There’s something I need to discuss…with you.”
His eyelids flew open and he shifted slightly toward her. “What’s that?”
“You were right the other night about my…um…condition.”
He didn’t reply, just watched her with those intent hazel eyes.
Evelyn swiped at her forehead. Where had the earlier breeze gone? “Ralph and I were going to be married.” She studied her hands. What sort of ring would he have found her? “Not only because we loved each other, but because of the…” She finished in a whisper, “Baby.”
Joel nodded silently. If only she could read what was going on behind that stoic expression. She swallowed, hoping to restore the moisture to her mouth.
“No else knows, about Ralph or my situation. Not even my grandparents.” The admission tasted as dishonorable on her tongue as it sounded in her head. “I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to tell anyone, at least not until after Ralph and I married and I was discharged. Their health isn’t what it used to be.”
“What will you do now?” After his silence, the question seemed to trumpet across the lawn. Evelyn checked to be sure they were still safe from listening ears. No one appeared to be paying them any attention.
“Actually…” She tried to muster a smile, but it fell flat. “You may be able to help with that.”
“Me?”
Did she mistake the smallest hardening of his jaw? Needles of fear prickled along her arms, increasing the panicked thud of her pulse and robbing the air around her of its heat. Had she misread his kindness earlier? The pause between them stretched on as doubt settled in the pit of her stomach. Could she make him understand, persuade him to agree? She had no other recourse. He must know that. Evelyn wiped her damp palms against her apron. If nothing else, Joel’s friendship with Ralph would surely convince him to consider her offer.
Clinging to that hope, she leaned forward, ready to press her suit. “The way I see it, we can help each other. I want to avoid disappointing my grandparents and being transferred to the front while I’m with child. And you want a family of your own, which you can no longer have.” His face remained unchanged, but she saw his eyes narrow with what she could only guess must be grief and anger. “What I’m offering is a child to call your own, Joel.”
He sat very still. Long enough to incite fresh dread in Evelyn. “Are you suggesting, you and I marry, Nurse Gray?”
His use of her title felt as shrewd as a slap. But she wouldn’t be cowed by his initial reaction. The man was allowed some degree of incredulity. “That is exactly what I’m suggesting.” She drew herself up in her chair and met his hard gaze. “We may not know each other well yet, but I believe a marriage of contentment and happiness is possible. It would fulfill both our desires for the future.”
“You’re mistaken if you think you know what I desire for my future.” His countenance had grown as stony as the hospital behind them, his words clipped and brittle. “A marriage of convenience is not the solution.”
“But it would save us both,” she pleaded.
“At what cost?” Joel countered. “Neither of us deserves a loveless marriage. Can’t you see that?”
She was losing his interest, if she’d ever had it to begin with. “Even to be a father?”
He shook his head. “That’s only trading one source of happiness for another. I couldn’t live that way, Evelyn. And in the end, I don’t think you could either.” She tried to muster up some relief that he’d gone back to calling her by her first name, but she felt as flattened as a punctured tire.
“What about Ralph?” It was her final attempt at persuasion.
Joel looked away, his expression pained. “You’ll always have my friendship because of what you meant to Ralph.” He managed to climb to his feet without her assistance. “But that’s not reason enough for us to marry. I’m sorry.”
He hobbled forward with the help of his cane. Evelyn let him go, too numb to care how he managed to get himself back to his wheelchair and into the hospital. Her plan had failed. She’d pinned all her hopes on Joel, but to no avail. He didn’t want her.
Tears threatened to spill, but she wouldn’t release them in view of everyone outside. She rose from her chair and discreetly headed for the woods. Once alone, and no longer able to hear the sounds from the hospital, she sank between the gnarled roots of an old tree and let the sobs flow freely.
“I tried, little one,” she whispered, one hand on her belly.
There were only two choices now. She could leave this very minute or she could meet with Sister Marcelle and accept whatever fate was dealt her. Perhaps the head sister didn’t know her secret yet. Evelyn could take whatever reprimand Sister Marcelle might issue for ending a shift early, if she could stay a little longer and put off facing her grandparents.
Determined to leave only when made to, she dried her eyes with the back of her hand and stood. Her future might be uncertain, but one thing was clear: She would never speak to or interact with Joel Campbell as long as she remained at the hospital. That decision alone gave her the courage to leave the safety of the trees and prepare herself to face Sister Marcelle.