So often, first-time sex is laced with awkwardness. Where do I put my hands? Is my breath bad? How do all these bits line up?

Beyond the body and under our skin is the complicated rest of us, the wanting-wondering-worrying self. Does she want to kiss me there? Will he stop loving me? Am I okay?

But the thing about sex is that we are not alone.

That person—

The one there on the bed beside you—

The one you’re planning to have sex with—

The two of you are in this together.

All those questions and worries are things you can talk about. In fact, once you and your partner start talking about what you want and why you want it, you might be surprised how sexy and powerful words can be.