Damn the rain anyway, she says,
three years old, a hand planted on her hip,
and another held up and out
in the mimic of a gesture she knows too well—
adult exasperation, peevish, wild-eyed, and dangerous.
But the mangy stuffed bunny belies it all,
dangling by an ear, a lumpy flourish.
And so again I am warned about language,
my wife having just entered the room
aims a will-you-never-learn look my way
and I’m counting myself lucky. She missed me,
hands to the window, imploring the world,
Jesus Christ, will you look at the fucking rain!
And because this is western Oregon, and the rain
blows endlessly in from the sea, we let out to play
in the garage, where I peer balefully
into the aging Volvo’s gaping maw
and try to force a broken bolt, that breaks,
my knuckles mashed into the alternator’s fins
bejeweling themselves with blood and grease.
And what stops my rail against the Swedes,
my invective against car salesman, my string
of obscenities concerning the obscenity of money,
is less her softly singing presence there
than my head slamming into the tired, sagging hood.
I’m checking for blood when I feel her touch my leg.
What tool is this, Daddy? she’s asking,
holding a pliers by the business end. Then
what tool is this? Channel locks. And this?
Standard screwdriver, sparkplug socket,
diagonals, crimper, clamp, ratchet, torque wrench,
deep throw 12-millimeter socket, crescent,
point gauge, black tape, rasp—
but suddenly the rain’s slap and spatter
is drowned in the calling of geese,
and I pick her up and rush out, pointing,
headed for the pasture and the clearest view.
And rising from the lake, through rain
and the shambles of late morning fog,
vee after vee of calling Canadas,
ragged at first, then perfect and gray and gone
in the distance. They keep coming and coming,
and pretty soon we’re soaked, blinking,
laughing, listening. I tell her, they’re geese,
they’re honking, and she waves and says honk-honk.
She says bye-bye, geese; she says wow; she says Jesus.