There is nothing of her body he can’t
conjure—texture, heft, taste, or smell.
This is heaven, and this is also hell.
He can dream the way moonlight comes slant
through the window, illuminating breast
and breast, her navel a shadowy pool
he drinks the darkness from, her skin grown cool,
and her lips and her lips and all the rest.
If she were here, he thinks, and he thinks too
much, he thinks. He thinks too much when she’s here,
and when she’s gone. And the window’s a mirror
he’s all alone in. If he could say he knew
every night would be made of her, a thigh
in the true air, her long, elegant spine
blossoming forth from the clothes on the line,
he would have asked, he would have asked her why
the sigh of the evening breeze is her tongue
and the rose of his cast off shirt his hand
unfillable and trying. He can stand
and go and find her still-damp towel among
the morning’s last mementos, and the shape
of her ear, a whorl on the pillow’s white.
He can feel the whole weight of her at night,
and the weight of her absence, and her hip.
He would say when she’s gone he loves too much.
He’s immoderate or reckless. He cries
and laughs at his crying, his dreams are lies
he cannot live without, a drunk, a lush,
inebriate of skin and tongue and hair.
But reason has no mouth to kiss, no eyes
he dives in. His head aches. He is not wise,
but strokes the round, blue corporeal air
and conjures her painfully into place.
Most chaste of lovers he is, a shadow
man enamored of another shadow,
and the dark he is kissing is her face.