In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.
—MAHATMA GANDHI
You can learn more in an hour of silence than you can in a year from books.
—MATTHEW KELLY
Silence is the first practice of the Life S.A.V.E.R.S. and may be one of the most significant areas for improvement for our noisy, fast-paced and over-stimulated lifestyles. I’m referring to the life-transforming power of purposeful Silence. “Purposeful” simply means that you are engaging in a period of Silence with a highly beneficial purpose in mind—not just for the heck of it. As Matthew Kelly so eloquently states in his bestselling book The Rhythm of Life, “You can learn more in an hour of silence than you can in a year from books.” That’s a powerful statement from a very wise man.
If you want to immediately reduce your stress levels, to begin each day with the kind of calm, clarity, and peace of mind that will allow you to stay focused on what’s most important in your life, and even dance on the edge of enlightenment—do the opposite of what most people do—start every morning with a period of purposeful Silence.
The life-enhancing benefits of Silence have been well documented throughout the ages. From the power of prayer, to the magic of meditation, some of the greatest minds in history have used purposeful Silence to transcend their limitations and create extraordinary results.
Do you invest time in centering yourself and creating an optimum state of mind to lead you through the rest of the day? Or do you usually wait to wake up until you’ve got something to do? Do the words calm, peaceful, or rejuvenating describe your average morning? If they do, congratulations! You’re already a step ahead of the rest of us.
For most of us, words like rushed, hectic, stressful or even chaotic might best describe our typical morning. For others, slow, lazy, and lethargic might be a more accurate description of how our day begins. Which of these scenarios best describe your mornings?
Mornings, for most of us, are typically pretty hectic and rushed. We’re usually running around trying to get ready for the day, and our minds are often plagued with internal chatter about what we have to do, where we have to go, who we have to see, what we forgot to do, the fact that we’re running late, a recent argument with our significant other or family member.
For others, we have trouble just getting going on most mornings. We feel sluggish, lazy, and unproductive. So, for the great majority of us, the mornings are either stressful and rushed, or slow and unproductive. Neither of these represents the optimum way to start your day.
Silence is one of the best ways to immediately reduce stress, while increasing your self-awareness and gaining the clarity that will allow you to maintain your focus on your goals, priorities, and what’s most important for your life, each and every day.
Here are some of my favorite activities to choose from and practice during my period of Silence, in no particular order, followed by a simple meditation to get you started:
√ Meditation
√ Prayer
√ Reflection
√ Deep Breathing
√ Gratitude
Some mornings I do just one of these activities, and other mornings I combine them. All of these practices will relax your mind and body, calm your spirit, and allow you to be totally present and open to receiving the benefits that will come from the remaining Life S.A.V.E.R.S. which make up the rest of your Miracle Morning.
It is very important that you don’t stay in bed for this, and preferably that you leave your bedroom altogether. The problem with staying in bed—or even in your bedroom, where your comfy bed is within your line of sight—is that it’s too easy to go from sitting in Silence, to slouching, to falling back asleep. I always sit on my living room couch, where I already have everything set up that I need for my Miracle Morning. My affirmations, journal, yoga DVD, the book I’m currently reading—everything has its place and is ready for me each day so that, in the morning, it’s easy to jump right in and engage in my Miracle Morning, without having to search for anything.
Since there are plenty of great books, articles, and websites that concentrate on meditation, I won’t go into too much detail in describing the proven benefits and the various approaches to meditating. Instead, I’ll just mention a few of what I believe are the most significant benefits, and give you simple step-by-step meditation that you can begin immediately.
The essence of meditation is simply silencing or focusing the mind for a period of time. You may or may not be aware of all the extraordinary health benefits of meditating. Study after study shows that meditation can be more effective than medication. Studies link regular meditation to improvements in metabolism, blood pressure, brain activity, and other bodily functions. It can alleviate stress and pain, promote sleep, enhance focus and concentration, and even increase lifespan. Meditation also requires very little time. You can take advantage of the benefits of meditation in just a few minutes a day.
Well-known celebrities, CEOs and highly successful people like Jerry Seinfeld, Sting, Russell Simmons, Oprah and many more have publically stated that regular, often daily, meditation has become an invaluable part of their life. Tupperware? CEO Rick Goings told The Financial Times that he tried to meditate for at least 20 minutes every day, stating, “For me, it’s a practice that not only burns off stress, but gives me fresh eyes to clarify what’s really going on and what really matters.” Oprah told Dr. Oz that Transcendental Meditation? has helped her “connect with that which is God,” according to the Huffington Post.
There are many genres and types of meditation, but generally speaking you can divide them into two categories: “guided” and “individual” meditations. Guided meditations are those in which you listen to another person’s voice and receive instructions to help guide your thoughts, focus, and awareness. Individual meditations are simply those you do on your own, without assistance from anyone else.
Here is a simple, step-by-step individual meditation that you can use during your Miracle Morning, even if you’ve never meditated before.
• Before beginning your meditation, it’s important to prepare your mindset and set your expectations. This is a time for you to quiet your mind and let go of the compulsive need to constantly be thinking about something—either reliving the past, stressing or worrying about the future—but never living fully in the present. This is the time to let go of your stresses, take a break from worrying about your problems, and be fully present in this moment. It is a time to access the essence of who you truly are—to go deeper than what you have, what you do, or the labels you’ve accepted as “who you are”—which most people have never even attempted to do. Accessing this essence of who you truly are is often referred to as “just being.” Not thinking, not doing, just being. If this sounds foreign to you, or too “new-age” that’s okay. I used to feel the same way. It’s probably just because you’ve never tried it before. But thankfully, you’re about to.
• Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit. You can sit up straight on the couch, on a chair, on the floor, or sit on a pillow, for added comfort.
• Sit upright, cross-legged. You can close your eyes, or you can look down at the ground, approximately two feet in front of you.
• Begin by focusing on your breath, taking slow, deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth, and be sure to breathe into your belly, rather than your chest. The most effective breathing should cause your belly to expand, and not your chest.
• Now, start pacing your breath; in slowly on a count of 3 seconds (one, one-thousand, two, one-thousand, three, one-thousand)... hold it in for 3 seconds (one, one-thousand, two, one-thousand, three, one-thousand)... and then breathe out slowly on a count of 3 seconds (one, one-thousand, two, one-thousand, three, one-thousand). Feel your thoughts and emotions settling down as you focus on your breath. Be aware that as you attempt to quiet your mind, thoughts will still come in to pay a visit. Simply acknowledge them, then let them go, always returning your focus to your breath.
• Remember, this is a time for you to let go of your compulsive need to constantly be thinking about something. This is a time to let go of your stress and take a break from worrying about your problems. This is the time to be fully present in this moment. This is often referred to as just being. Not thinking, not doing, just being. Continue to follow your breaths, and imagine inhaling positive, loving, peaceful energy, and exhaling all of your worries and stress. Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy the moment. Just breathe... Just be.
• If you find that you have a constant influx of thoughts, it may be helpful for you to focus on a single word or a phrase, and repeat it over and over again to yourself, as you inhale and exhale. For example, you might try something like: (On the inhale) “I breathe in peace...” (As you exhale) “I breathe out love... I breathe in peace...” (Inhale)... “I breathe out love...” (Exhale)... You can swap the words peace and love with whatever you feel like you need bring more of into your life (confidence, faith, energy, belief, etc.), and whatever you feel like you want to give more of to the world.
• Meditation is a gift you can give to yourself every day. It truly is an incredible gift. My time spent meditating has become one of my favorite parts of my day. It is a time to be at peace, to experience gratitude, and a time of freedom from our day-to-day stressors and worries. Think of daily meditation as a temporary vacation from your problems. While your problems will still be there when you finish your daily meditation, you’ll find that you are much more centered and better equipped to solve them.
There’s no single right way to spend time in Silence. You can pray, meditate, focus on what you’re grateful for, or even engage in deep thought. For me, sitting in Silence—especially meditating—was at first rather difficult, probably because I have what doctors have diagnosed as ADHD. I don’t know that I agree with their diagnosis or even with the idea that ADHD is a “disorder” (that’s another conversation for another time), but I can attest that it’s definitely a challenge for me to sit still and quiet my mind. Thoughts tend to race in and out, bouncing around like a pinball, almost nonstop.
So even though I would sit in Silence, my mind didn’t stop racing. The fact that sitting still and clearing my mind was so difficult for me was precisely the reason why I had to commit to mastering it. It took me three or four weeks of practicing Silence every day before I felt competent. I got to a place where I would allow thoughts to come in, I’d peacefully acknowledge them, and then quietly let them drift away without getting frustrated. So don’t be discouraged if spending time in Silence, or meditating, is at first a challenge for you.
As for how long to do your period of purposeful Silence, I recommend starting with five minutes, although in the next chapter I’ll teach you how you can experience the life-enhancing benefits of Silence in as little as 60 seconds a day! When I began this practice, I’d sit in Silence, calm and relaxed, say a prayer, meditate, ponder what I was grateful for, and just breathe deeply, for five minutes. It’s such a peaceful, perfect way to start each day.