“Let’s get this over with.” I adjust the cuffs on my coat.
“Come on, you can’t have that attitude when you’re dealing with the next generation of surgeons. The viewers expect you to be the master while these people are your students, and it’s up to you to mold them into miniature versions of yourself,” John says with the same animated gestures he always uses.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not the master, and they are not my students. This is for entertainment. You know that as well as I do.”
“I know, but the viewers don’t!” he argues. “Come on, everyone loves your charming aura. Bring it to the table with these kids, and let’s see what happens.”
“Surgery and fighting to save people’s lives isn’t charming,” I declare. It’s as far as I get before we are at the door. He holds his hand up to stop me. The crew is filming by now, and the interns are lining up where they’ve been directed.
“Okay, you’re on in five, four, three, two.” He points me toward the door and I walk through. My shoulders are back and my head is held high. I hear the gasps of admiration escape from the lips of several of the interns. I walk to my mark on the floor and turn to them.
“Good afternoon, and welcome to Los Angeles Mercy Hospital. I trust you know who I am?” The room fills with the sound of their hearty cheers and I put my hands up to quiet them.
“I’m sure you’re all very excited to be here. Eager to learn what it means to be a top surgeon. I’m certain you think you’ve got what it takes to climb to the top and beat all the people standing next to you. However, I’ll tell you right now, that kind of arrogance will cost you dearly in the operating room,” I look from face to face, but my eyes linger when I see a particular woman standing in the rear.
I nearly do a double take when I notice her. She’s slender, a brunette, has bright green eyes, and a smile that immediately reminds me of Claire. In fact, at first glance she could be Claire. I feel a twinge in my heart and my voice nearly catches in my throat. I recover in time so it’s not noticeable.
I don’t know this girl, but for some reason I immediately resent her. How can I not? She looks just like the love of my life. Claire was gentle and sweet. She wouldn’t hurt a fly but also relied on me when times got tough. She was smart, so smart, but she wasn’t the kind of woman who could keep herself together in an emergency. I immediately wonder if this girl will have what it takes to be a surgeon.
I continue with my opening speech, but I find it difficult to concentrate on what I’m saying. It’s almost as though I’ve taken a step outside of myself; now I stand and watch as I deliver the promises and threats, letting these interns know that I mean business. I may be easygoing and cheerful outside the OR, but when it comes to saving lives, I’m all about industry.
I glance toward John who is standing behind the group. The camera is expertly angled so the viewers cannot see him, but I can make eye contact and respond to his direction without appearing like I’m doing so. He motions to ask the students questions.
“All right, so they tell me all of you have been in medical school for several years. I’m glad to hear that. I don’t want someone who has no idea what they’re doing on my floor. At this moment, I’m curious what they teach in school these days—get ready for your first test,” I cross my arms and stand with my legs apart, clearly menacing to most of the group.
The girl who looks like Claire is watching me like a hawk. She looks nervous, but there is an enthusiasm about her that most of the other students’ lack. She reminds me so much of my wife, and I can’t take it any longer.
“You,” I say, pointing to her. She looks around, almost as though she is shocked that I’m talking to her directly. The cameraman motions for her to step forward so she’s in better view. She nervously obeys.
“Yes?” she asks.
“What’s your name?” I reply.
“Kayla Grid from Chicago! I would like to say it’s such an honor to meet you,” she says quickly. “I’ve been in love with you since—”
“Tell me this, Miss Grid,” I interrupt. “You are at home with your family and it’s Christmas day. You’re all having a good time and celebrating when your phone rings and you’re called into the hospital. With the bad weather, it’ll take you longer to get there but a man arrives in critical condition. They are not sure what’s wrong with him, an overdose, perhaps, but they aren’t positive. What do you tell them to keep that man alive until you arrive?”
I know it isn’t a fair question, and I can clearly see nervous she is.
“Injecting him with more drugs would be a bad idea,” she fumbles, clearly guessing. “I would put the head nurse over him until I get there.”
She speaks proudly, but I walk back and forth over the mark on the floor. “So you are saying that, when they call you for advice on how to save this man’s life, or rather, how to keep him alive until you arrive, you will instruct them to have the head nurse handle it?”
There is a giggle among the other interns, and I see her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. She looks as though she’s getting teary eyed, but I turn my attention to the rest of the group.
“I would be interested to hear other opinions. Does anyone have a better answer? Please contribute. If not, listen and learn,” I look from face to face, but none of the students can hold my eye contact. They are shocked by the difference in the way I act on my own show, and how I behave on the floor, and I’m enjoying it.
I can see John from the corner of my eye, and he seems pleased with how the scene is going. The students stand silent, watching me like puppies waiting for instructions from their trainer. I look back at Kayla and realize there are light tearstains on her cheeks. Though she clearly is fighting them, her makeup betrays her.
“Miss Grid, is there a problem?” The camera immediately focuses in on her, and she looks anxious and irritated at the same time. She shakes her head quickly. “Good. Because surgeons need to be calm and collected at all times, even when they are faced with intense tragedy. If you can’t take the pressure, I’ll thank you for not wasting my time.”
“I have what it takes. I can handle the demands!” she assures me. She glances toward the camera, but John motions to return her gaze to me. “I can do it.”
She forces a smile and I give her a solemn glance in return. “Time will tell,” I state plainly.
“And that’s a wrap!” John declares, breaking into the discussion. He walks into the center of the room, waving his hand, and the cameras cut off. The students are more relaxed without the cameras running, but still, there is a look of embarrassment on Kayla’s face.
“All right, everyone, that was a good introduction. Miss Grid, I’ll ask you to refrain from looking at the camera unless you are in an interview, and that goes for the rest of you as well. We are flies on the wall. You are here to learn from Royce. Forget about the rest of us, understood?” He looks across the room as the interns nod in unison.
“Great. Take a half-hour break and we’ll meet again right here at one-thirty. Don’t be late!” He claps his hands and the interns head to the hallway. I shake my head, still watching Kayla; she looks a lot like Claire.
It’ll be tough to work with her