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Serenity’s eyes blinked open. The first thing she became aware of was the solid weight of Sebastian’s head cradled in her lap.
“Sebastian?”
She looked down at him. His eyes were still closed, his face motionless. A moan of despair escaped her throat. It hadn’t worked!
“Mommy!” Elizabeth’s voice distracted her and she glanced away from Sebastian.
“Elizabeth,” she said, tears blurring the colors of the room. “I’m so sorry ...”
“What for, Mommy?”
“Your father ...”
But a smile lit her small face. “Mom, look.”
Her heart lifted with hope and she glanced back down at Sebastian’s face. His features remained motionless; nothing had changed.
She shook her head. “He’s gone, Elizabeth. He—”
Sebastian’s eyes shot open.
She cried out loud in surprise and joy.
He blinked twice and frowned. He went to sit up, but Serenity didn’t give him the chance. She leaned over his face, laughing and crying at the same time, kissing his cheeks, his mouth, his eyes, dampening his skin with her tears.
His eyes were back to normal—no sign of the milky cataracts that had disguised their jade beauty—and she tugged down the collar of his shirt to reveal his perfect, flawless skin.
“The demon’s gone,” she cried. “You’ve healed.”
Sebastian pushed himself to sitting and pulled her into his arms. He reached one hand out to Elizabeth, tugging the girl into their embrace. Serenity wound an arm around their daughter and they held each other close.
This was what she thought she might never experience again—them, as a family, together.
Sebastian kissed them both before untangling himself.
“Thank you,” he said to Iona who stood awkwardly to one side. “I’m not sure me being back is the right thing, but I thank you for helping my family.”
“What do you mean?” asked Serenity with a frown. But he gave his head a slight shake. He clearly didn’t want to talk now.
“Now you’re all back together, I’m going to go,” said Iona. “I can drive the Toyota back to my people.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” said Serenity, her natural instinct to mother the sixteen-year-old girl. She wasn’t sure if she felt comfortable allowing her to drive that distance on her own.
Iona cocked an eyebrow. “It’s not like I’m regular teenager, Serenity. Though I appreciate the concern.”
“Sebastian can run you back.”
She glanced at the vampire. “I think I’d rather take the car.” She shrugged. “No offense.”
He gave her a wry smile. “None taken.” He got to his feet and helped Serenity up. His gaze focused on the candles and chalk drawing on the floor. “Is this the gateway?”
Iona nodded.
“Is it closed now?” he asked.
“Yes. As soon as Serenity pulled you back, we broke the circle.”
“I was worried the demons would use the gateway—” His eyes flicked to Elizabeth and he stopped, obviously not wanting to frighten their daughter.
Iona’s lips pressed together. “There was a possibility, but I warned Serenity that I wouldn’t be able to keep the doorway between the two worlds open for long.” She gave Serenity a smile. “You worked quickly.”
Serenity returned the smile. “I didn’t have any choice.”
The young sorceress walked forward and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thank you,” said Serenity. “We owe you everything.”
“Stay safe,” Iona said. She went to Elizabeth and gave her a bear hug.
The younger girl hugged her back. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“My people need me. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
Elizabeth gave a shy smile. “I won’t.”
They stood in the front door and watched Iona climb into the old Toyota. She lifted a hand in a wave goodbye before maneuvering the old vehicle in a three-point turn on the gravel and driving out of the gate.
Serenity waited until she drove away and then turned to Sebastian. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, her fingers laced in the hair at the base of his neck. Her heart swelled with happiness at having him back again. For a moment back there, she’d thought she would never be able to have him hold her again.
Sebastian broke the kiss and stepped away, his dark brows knitted together, his mouth a thin line. Serenity frowned, her heart dropping slightly. Something was wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair and gave his head a slight shake. “I need you to tell me what happened.”
“We got rid of the demon, Sebastian. You’re safe. That’s all you need to know.”
He shook his head. “No, there’s more.” He stopped and frowned, his eyes locked on her face, searching with an intensity that speared daggers through her heart. “Something is different about you. I can feel it ... I can smell it ...”
Nerves jangled in her stomach. “I took Vincent’s blood.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“You what?”
“Natasha attacked me! I almost died.”
His lips tightened, but she could see he wasn’t angry with her; instead he repressed his sorrow and pain.
“I didn’t want to,” she said, gently. “I didn’t have any choice.”
His gaze left her face, trailing to the floor as though he couldn’t bear to look at her. A painful lump balled in her throat and she swallowed hard. She felt as though she’d somehow betrayed him or let him down.
“It’s okay, Serenity. I understand. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He closed his eyes briefly and then covered his face with both hands, composing himself for a moment before looking back up at her. “I knew something had changed, I sensed it the moment you took his blood, I just didn’t realized what. But something else happened too, didn’t it? Something I can’t remember properly.”
She wanted to cry, her eyes burning. “What do you mean?”
“I did something terrible, Serenity. You need to tell me what.”
He didn’t remember! She hesitated, not wanting to tell him, knowing he’d take the news badly, especially on top of what he’d just learned. But she had no choice; he’d find out eventually.
“Elizabeth, sweetheart,” she said, trying to keep her voice level. “Can you go in the other room for a minute?”
Even though Elizabeth had been with Sebastian when he’d killed Bridget, she didn’t want her daughter to have to relive the experience while she told Sebastian what happened.
“Aww, Mommy,” Elizabeth whined.
“Just do it!” She didn’t want to be harsh, but after everything they’d been through, she no longer had the reserves to be patient. She was terrified about how Sebastian was going to react.
Elizabeth pouted, but stalked off into the living room. Serenity waited until she heard the sounds of the television click on and then said, “You’re not going to like it.”
“Tell me,” he insisted.
“Bridget.” Her voice came out as a whisper. “You killed Bridget.”
He stared at her in horror, covering his mouth with his hand. Slowly, he stepped back, increasing the distance between them. “Oh, God, no. I can’t believe I killed her. I am so, so sorry.”
She put her hands out toward him, imploring, shaking her head. “You weren’t in your right mind. I don’t think you even knew who she was.”
“It doesn’t matter. I killed her! What happens if I hurt you the next time?”
“There won’t be a next time.”
“You don’t know that. I need to leave, Serenity. I’m so sorry, but I have no choice.”
His face blurred as tears swam in her eyes. “You can’t just leave us!”
He looked at her, his features contorted with pain. “What would you be doing now if Elizabeth had been the one killed? Would you still be standing here, begging me to stay?”
“Don’t even say something like that!”
“What else do you want me to say? It could just have easily been her, Serenity.” He closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head. “Don’t tell me you don’t think of me differently now. After what I did, you should never think of me in the same way again.”
She reached out and touched his forearm, but he jerked away. “Killing her wasn’t your fault. The demon’s power made you do it.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong. Yes, the demon fought me for control, but I think the demon had already gone when I killed her.”
She reached for him, but he took another step away.
Suddenly, she realized something. “Bridget’s body came back like the others! The bodies came back like they did because a little part of the demon was being passed on to them, so some of the demon must have been present when you killed her. How much more proof do you need that you can’t be held responsible?”
But instead of being reassured, his green eyes widened in horror. “She came back? So you had to ...” He trailed off, unable to say the words.
“Vincent took care of it.”
Her heart tightened in pain at the memory of what the big vampire who had saved her life had been put through.
Sebastian shook his head and took another step away. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”
With every step back, she felt him putting the distance between them, not only physically, but mentally. In her heart, she panicked. He balanced on a precipice and she needed to talk him down.
“Sebastian, I knew what you were within days of us meeting. That was eight years ago now. I’m a grown woman and I know my own mind. I’ve always been aware of the risks involved in being with you.”
“And what about Elizabeth?” he asked. “She had no choice in having me as her father. What if I hurt her?”
Serenity opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out. Was she putting Elizabeth at risk by keeping Sebastian close? He was her father and Elizabeth would be heartbroken if she couldn’t see him. But wasn’t heartbroken better than dead?
He picked up on her hesitation.
And, just like that, Sebastian stepped back and off the ledge.
Though physically he didn’t go anywhere, she watched the line of his jaw harden and his eyes grow distant.
Oh, no. Oh, please, no.
“Marry me!” she said, clutching at the one thing he’d wanted. “I love you, so marry me.”
His features softened a fraction and her heart lifted. He stepped forward, captured her hands within his own and lifted her fingers to his lips. “Serenity, if you’d said that to me a week ago, I’d have jumped at the chance.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say no.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
She burst into tears.
“I knew you’d do this,” she cried. “Deep down, I always worried you’d leave me again. How can you do this to me? To Elizabeth?”
He cupped her face, kissing away her tears. “I love you both more than anything. That’s why I need to leave.”
She shoved him in the chest, a bright spark of rage igniting within her. But her anger couldn’t obliterate the shards of pain cutting her heart. “No, no ...”
He caught her wrists and held her back, focusing her attention to his face, his whole expression tightened in pain.
“Do you think I want to do this, Serenity? Do you honestly think I want to leave you both? Can’t you see how hard this is for me?”
“So, don’t go.”
“I have no choice. You both mean the world to me. I can’t put you in danger.”
She fell against him, sobbing, her face pressed against the solid muscle of his chest. Her mind couldn’t handle what he was saying, every part of her wanting to deny it, but she couldn’t. Because deep down, she understood what he was saying was right. How could she have him in the house knowing the potential danger he posed to them? He’d always believed he was in control, but on this occasion he hadn’t been. If it happened once, what would stop it from happening again?
He held her until her sobs subsided.
“I need to say goodbye to our daughter.”
Serenity wiped her face and nodded, not trusting herself to speak again.
She followed him into the living room where Elizabeth sat on the floor, a couple of books open around her. In the background, the television was on low. Elizabeth wasn’t reading the books or watching the screen, but instead sat with her legs crossed, her hands in her lap, her face pale. She’d obviously overheard their conversation.
Sebastian crossed the room and switched off the television. He went back to their daughter and crouched to her level. “Elizabeth?” The girl looked up. “I have to go now, baby. Do you understand why?”
Elizabeth’s lower lip trembled as she tried not to cry. “It’s because you think you might hurt us.”
He reached out and ruffled her hair. “That’s right. And I love you both way, way too much for me to ever risk that happening. I’ll stay in touch, okay? I’ll write letters and call and I promise never to forget your birthday or Christmas.”
Elizabeth lost control, tears spilling down her cheeks. “But I don’t want you to go, Daddy.”
He reached out and smoothed her tears from her cheeks. “I don’t want to go either, sweetheart, but I have to. I’m a danger to you and your mother. I won’t ever let anything cause you harm, especially not myself.”
“But you won’t hurt us. I know you won’t!”
He shook his head. “You don’t know that, baby. The choice I’m making now is to protect you, but I’ll miss you every second of every day.”
Serenity stood back, one hand clamped over her mouth to stifle her sobs, the other held against her body for comfort. She felt the pain of him leaving twice-fold—once for herself and again for her daughter.
Sebastian picked Elizabeth up, hugging her tight. He kissed the top of her head and then carried her over and placed her on the couch. The little girl curled up in a tight ball of misery in the corner.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I never meant for things to come to this.”
Elizabeth didn’t answer.
Sebastian turned to Serenity. “This doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” he said, his eyes filled with a deep, soul-wrenching sadness. “I’ll still watch out for you. You and Elizabeth will go wanting for nothing. I’ll just make sure I’m a long way away from you both. There’s enough of my blood in bags in the chest freezer to keep you going, you only need a matter of drops. If you need more, I’ll send you some.”
“I don’t care about your blood.”
“You need it, Serenity, to keep yourself well for Elizabeth.”
“So good of you to realize she needs at least one parent in her life,” she spat back. Her emotions were in a whirl of torment, knowing deep down his leaving may be best for their daughter’s safety, but also hurt and angry that he could even consider an existence apart from them.
Sebastian sighed. “I’ll take Bridget’s car,” he said. “I’ll dump it somewhere a long way from here.”
“People are going to know she’s missing. The police are going to be around asking questions again.”
“Then it’s even better that I leave. Tell them I’ve left you and you’ve no idea where I am.”
She scowled. “The cops are going to start getting suspicious about how all the men in my life like to hurt people and leave.”
“I’m sorry, Serenity.” He reached for her, but she pulled away.
“Don’t be. I don’t need your pity.” She stepped away from him. “Just go,” she said, her voice hard. “If that’s really what you think is for the best, then go.”
Hurt rippled across his face, but she had no room for sympathy for him in the barrage of emotions she was experiencing.
His eyes flicked between Serenity and Elizabeth, hesitating for a moment, and then spun from the room, a howl of pain escaping his throat.
Serenity ran to her daughter, enveloping the little girl in her arms. They clung to each other, and she tried not to hear the sound of the Prius starting or the big gates of the property sliding open. Though she wanted to go after him, she refused to watch him walk out of her life for a second time.
She needed to focus on Elizabeth now, on helping her daughter through this. Though she understood Sebastian’s motives, she struggled to come to terms with the idea that he’d actually left them. The thought of not having him in her life broke her heart, but the idea of him hurting Elizabeth sickened her. To have him back would mean forever living in fear.
They would come to terms with not having him as a part of their lives, though it might take months or even years. But despite knowing all of this, Serenity couldn’t help wonder ...
Would she ever see him again?
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